originally posted by: Reverbs
I was let in for whateer reason, but it's not like I imagined
was the over-riding thing for me, throughout. Lot's of "Oh! Now
I see." But
not until I was right on top of it. Hence the
sense of being steered.
The following thing, similar, but given a narrower field, adapted to the environment. I didn't feel pursued so much as I felt monitored, and
observed. Hmmm? Contained. The 'delusional' elements were fairly place specific. Being where I was, doing what I do. It was a little like being
'overtaken' and rummaged through, in retrospect
I suspect that I was expectant, to some extent of an external source of the observation, or at
least some sort of external confirmation that this extraordinary
thing was occuring, and that I was intially focused on finding outward
confirmation of that. As the sense of scrutiny intensified, and I felt that the observation was from an internal source, the whole thing became
hellishly mad and I am still unravelling a lot of that.
But then quite simply, everything was possible, even the most absurd explanations appeared reasonable. A sense of humour helps cut through the
potential scare and paranoia of all that. Generally. The reality of concensus is terminally absurd, obliviously so. (If you didn't laugh sometimes,
The exhilaration of coming through, yes. I was in # order, but the rush of 'making it', that feeling of resilience. Definately.
ETA: Just seen your latest post here, sometimes
it is best to brush it off, especially because, given the way your brain works, you could very
well be either moving them again in an REM state, or playing a movie of you putting the keys somewhere as a means to remind yourself, and not actually
remembering to do it, but because
you created the memory you remember it as an experience due to the experience of having done it numerous
times. Just because it is possible does that make it probable? And, most importantly, is it a 'signal' or just a peripheral distraction?
mindful of distractions.
And take care.
edit on 15-11-2016 by Anaana because: (no reason given)