It seems to be a growth thing. Like I spent years reading everything I could find. During that time period I had the "external chakras opened"
experience. I also had the Freemason seeing "all is the measure of man" experience. And we are talking over ten years (maybe 15?)... a whole different
lifetime ago! Then the craziness of 3 and the synchronicity happening here after joining--talk about a strange trip! It took forever but it happened
over night! There is a calmness and serenity that over comes you. And yeah, sympathy if not direct empathy. So, like when getting half of the
groceries, picked up empty grocery bag that you can purchase for 10 dollars that goes to the food bank. Some people I do not even know are going to
eat this T-day because some person they don't know said, "ten dollars? That isn't even a six pack! Why not?!" I have been on the other end so it was
really a no brainer. And when I go back again, I will probably buy another one. I doubt anybody on the receiving end will ever read this post and that
is fine by me. Just TEOT sending out love to universe!
Bumbling along the Path at my own pace. Stubbing my toe, sitting on rocks
Is the air becoming rarified or am I?
Where h3ll was I going again...
Oh look, here I am! Right where I left me
I'm not a big fan of dressing, tomatoes and red onions are the best thing about salad. If you were to ask me, that is. I like the taste of the
individual elements, why smother them in something so they all taste the same?
Right up until I was 35 I was being asked for ID to buy alcohol. Then I hit 36. I suddenly looked my age, evidently.
The migration south had begun.
I've been on a controlled diet for months due to the sudden emergence of various intolerances. Temporary, thankfully. I am just starting to
reintroduce eggs which means finally I can eat cake. I enjoy baking, but I get almost no pleasure in doing it without the eventual reward of
actually sharing in the cake. Baking a cake for a charity sale is one thing, there's that rosy glow from doing something 'nice' to compensate for the
not eating it, baking a cake only to watch while my boy stuffs his face with it was becoming frustrating though. The consumption of one small slice
of lemon and poppy seed drizzle cake later and the world is a brighter place (it's not, it's actually grey and miserable, but metaphorically
A little of what you fancy does you the world of good.
Quite a few varieties of onions, the purple are my favorite on salads. The yellow makes very good fried ones, the red is a good chili and stew onion,
the vidalia onion is one that is lighter in onionyness which is a good burger and sandwich onion when raw.
Sounds like you need to explore salad options... That Americanised dressing nonsense makes for a better dip than a dressing.
Japanese Salads with Ginger are spectacular, Thai and Veit salads with a vinegar peanut dressing are lovely.
The Japanese salads are very basic iceberg(only way I care for iceberg) slivered carrots, sometimes red onion, and the ginger dressing various ways to
make it, but shaved ginger, rice wine vinegar, soy, and sugar are sort of typical.
The Thai and Veit, have about as many mixed greens as possible candied or chopped nuts sometimes sometimes candied or dried fruit and well peanut
dressings vary greatly depending on family.
The ceasar is about the only common American salad I can stand.
The herd is all about some ranch lol. It's a better flavor for french fried potatoes and fried mushrooms especially the homemade buttermilk sort.
The city I live in is considered to have more resturants per capita than anywhere in the United States. Of course there has been a lot of growth...
but that's likely because of the movie industry which the horrid state government has been throwing bibles at aka marking up filming fees licenseing
etc etc. they did that once before shutting down DeLorentis studios now they are trying to drive out Screen Gems and the WB because ahhh getting too
multicultural for their lil hearts to handle.
Seeing the multiverse layers of dimensions is kind of fun yes? So many layers of Mayko just as real and dense as a dream can make them...
Of course in the first video it took a bit for the persons consciousness to catch up like a drifting thought to her riding her motorcycle in another
Of course not knowing she was dead is atypical of such things... the second one? Well a not such free spirit as it is forming a Makyo lurking
Of course harnessing all of these various states is an important thing... it is why I am a willing hermit confining myself to my grave oh, it's been
here first as a dream face down in a field at that time oh about 23 or 24 years ago... so I sit on top of it like a monument simply watching all that
pass by in unawareness layer after layer destruction after destruction... it's kind of funny moving about and watching the undead dead thinking things
real and trying to act them out especially when one thinks all are dead or one or the other interacting with each other... especially in multiples. Of
course they feed on eachother sliding through so that their timeline or makyo can persist until the agreement of that reality takes place.
When in a toxic family what else is there to do once one understands all of this?
Notice the first one was all black standing there that part of the makyo person was taken deeper into the realms of becoming, the lighter one rising
in awareness of becoming in a makyo... yet still all makyo.
So that is the bottom rungs of Samasara or the wheel of life, the comglomerates attached shawshank their way up clinging and grasping for life and
when over taken in unawareness they die and split off a bit freeier than before... that's the heaven and hell realms.
All I do is point to how all of this operates and well being everything and nothing all at once seeing creation and destruction wrap around as all of
these energies are webbed together in "string" lol more like "thread" theory... it is actually fact. Of course not knowing such a thing takes faith
and belief... so pray if you want sin if you want it does not make any difference in unawareness and dreaming... of course if you don't want to be
connected to any of those threads and free as all pervastive space? Cut them off attach to what you want to attach too and leave the rest flapping in
the wind of their own four directions or matrix in which they blow... earth for solidity, fire for consumption, wind expansion and contraction, water
flowing right along.
The four elements constitute the nature of all things and the four wisdom kings/queens rule them... no biggie realize they are no different than
within and without and avoid all becoming once one realizes ones death... take all the heavens and hells but don't cling or grasp to your tormentors
and free all of those possible. Many like to take them as slaves instead... bad idea.
This sort of history of the infinite nature of being has been covered up throughout written history, silliness but eh? What can you do once
realized... all time all things being in and of itself and yet all and nothing all at once in dreaming unawareness of such things.
Awakening in the immortal womb after one has shed the mortal coil clears the path to make all things possible that appeared impossible.
So grasp what you like and leave what you don't is like a fire sale... eventually the body will become like lead but keep letting it all burn up and
burn up and it will transmute into the gold of all alchemy.
Letting go is one element at a time one molecule... left in nothing but pure light/energy to manifest how ever one wishes. Some dabble in such things
in abuses of power and it's laughible, but those stuck lifetime ater lifetime in unawareness is not... but making such jusgments only gets one back in
the bread to rise and fall to bake and to rise.
the meaning of renunciation seems a lot clearer than before and how suffering and happiness are like two in one taste, thanks to this post!
and also the final step of renunciation; renunciationing the renunciation and throw it to the winds and free our minds...
also very interesting tidbit about praying and sinning.
prayer at its core is a sincere wish from the heart for me and if we pray to stop some sinning we are doing and want to get out of clutches of
temptations or pretentions and fake masks...or whatever we feel like we need to get out of.
or should we pray not to get something out...but invite purity or whatever we want in?
but in eather case we want to become something different ... a change...which is the attachment that can have us in a loop running in circles, praying
and sinning...in this way prayer seems just giving up responsibility?
so prayer can be like throwing more wood to the fire or watering the fire or watering the earth so flowers can grow...in each case we are with praying
wishing for some change...and this can become a loop.
Well in case of flowers we are praying for others in some way and that never seems wrong in my mind.
should i than even pray for some change within...to achieve natural purity even if that means further attachment to what i am praying for OR should i
just forgive myself for the past, shut up and when i mess up...realize the mess and the causes for the mess/sin and avoid doing the same mess.
is praying for the change within than even helping at all?
you mentioned acceptance many times in your posts and i think that the answer is NO it is not helping. Because it seems like i don't accept in this
case, some bad aspect of me...and i should change in other way than with help of prayer...
power of will or inner strength comes to mind.
hm..suffering and happiness ... here i am ... in another loop - pointing to the first parts of this post.
hm...okey, till now i have considered praying just for getting out of temptations or stop doing sins...which are mainly product of imprinted bad
habits or emotions and therefore we can respond in a negative way.
but what about prayer before practicing...to help us get results and realizations?
i feel that such prayer is also fine as long as we have good intentions like practising for the benefit of other beings and not something selfish.
hm...wow there are many kinds of prayer when i really think about it more deeply.
In your view, how should power of prayer be utilized to really help and not just trap us in a loop or produce an attachment?
and also thank you and others as well, for continuing the participation in this thread!
hm...my own expectations about how should i act after i did something i regret?
against my own image of best version...yeah ideals and such.
this is from the relative view.
but it gets interesting when inspected from the absolute view.
here, it is clear that i am the only one clutching my mind on my own...and there is no mistakes or not mistakes...or anything or anyone else for that
matter... what happens happens and learning to achieve natural clutch free mind is the key to breaking the locks if i understand your implication.
the solution seems natural and simple - in this context it means not having regrets OR ideals and learn to not make the same mistakes again when it
comes around in the loop...which simply means not to repeat the same pattern when they start to repeat.
this are master Tilopa's 6 advices.
this seems simply learning to unlearn everything...which seems to be my next lesson, at least for now until absorption.
i realize certain sounds can be very powerful as mantras can have strong effect on the mind when practiced correctly.
do you maybe have any mantra suggestion to chant with the breath as this seems the easiest way how i will subdue my neurotic mind.
Bah! That's a lot of salad you're eating. I know raw food, especially veggies, are super good for you, and I do eat salad but I live in
Yorkshire and that being the case, it's usually wet or windy or cold, generally all three at once with the occasional burst of sunlight in between.
Rabbit food is no good to me in that quantity and my inner thermostat, I need hot food. I am well aware of 'flavours', spices and seasoning. I use a
lot of North African/Middle-Eastern (in terms of 'salads' tabbouleh is my favourite to cook and eat) and Asian flavour combinations in cooking. I
always have coconut cream, lime, fresh ginger, coriander and galagala, in the fridge. Cumin and caraway seeds in the rack. We have two Asia
supermarkets within spitting distance and I like most things 'curried' in some way or another. Besides, rice and couscous are very effective in
cheaply filling up my rapidly growing boy. I have nothing against salads being flavourful, it is just that when I have salad it is generally because
it is in season and I want to be able to taste that season in season, and that season is all about tomatoes up against onions for me, perhaps
with a little olive oil, salt and pepper.
I don't really eat out often, I don't have that kind of income or inclination to eat in public. One of the main reasons I took the job that I do is
because it means I have both the time to cook good healthy meals and to enjoy doing so, including baking cakes and the such like. I am a good cook
and I can make a delicious meal out of whatever is available. Sometimes what is available and on budget is not the tastiest cut, sometimes you
need to smother it with something, and cook it so slowly you barely raise the heat, to get it to taste amazing. I was raised to eat what was put in
front of me, and I am not even remotely fussy about what other people cook for me, or put in front of me, it's food, good or bad, and I eat it. But,
that's where your ranch dressing, ketchups and the such like come in very handy. They can help bad 'medicine' go down when needed, it helps lubricate
the throat when what is on the plate doesn't get the taste buds excited and the saliva flowing.
That's true of a lot of things possibly...applied metaphorically.
Yes micro and macro biotic cooking... in regards to the wind, earth, fire, and water inside and out being no different makes the seasonings.
My form in winter goes right down into bone and bites hard as a burning wind and makes a pocket into which it settles. Perhaps a hollow in a tree in
which to nest but filled with water that freezes over instead where a heart used to be.
lol talking about the core of things... all bark and some bite, until summer comes and I ge to unfurl and feel alive. How many rings two permanent two
metal and one on the way kinda like clay.
So I understand your diet well... now if I could get something aisde from this nutty squirrel business to nest in that hollow maybe I wouldn't seem so
Ideals are an unattainible thing this is why there is simply acceptance of what is what was and what arises passes... in such winds of change what
moves, what clings, what defines? The attachment does the pointing and the being follows. What life takes as one's being? Now here now there pin the
mind down and a picture has four holes.
thank you for the insight, i get the pointing ... i feel i simply need a bit more practice and let the dirt settle down by itself, much like withering
leaves falling from trees before winter with help of the blowing winds... and when summer comes sweet fruit will fall naturally and
spontaneously...without any effort at all.
Reminded me of To Kill a Mockingbird, when the poor kid comes to dinner and pours syrup all over his dinner because he is only used to eating
squirrel. I always assumed squirrel must taste bad but it seems to be a new fad. You can buy it all dressed and cling wrapped at our local farmers
market sometimes. Though I've never been tempted, it is a more practical way of dealing with overcrowding, I suppose.
The family in the past here killed so many squirrels the trees were barren of them for many years. My cousin saw one climbing into the roof of a house
turned storage climbed in the attic and pulled two babies out... I accepted the female and he kept the male.
She was a very fun pet she got acclimated to being outside one day and never came back to the hand... but about 20 some years later the trees have
begun to house them again... sort of like seeding the area... lots of pine trees that keep them off of the nut trees. Although pine nuts....
Sadly none of the trees on this land get harvested or kept properly, many rotting from worms, just hitting the ground going to seed being mowed down
and over... I'd take care of them and if left to me certinally will. But now? I avoid contact due to the perverted contact "family" likes to
initiate... it's not one of acceptance but control. Having seen and heard enough of them because that's the only kind of contact they want to
establish I hermited up... the state placed discriminitaory barriers from years of abuse that placed me in a system after over coming such things and
their refusal to deal with such things... then what else can one do but let whatever relitive time they have pass?
Sure I have seen several iterations of things pass... but it is others wants needs and desires for me and not for myself... echoing what they want and
desire and cling to as a life for me which makes myself not have one. So dead or alive doesn't really matter when minds filled with "I am" are
attached to such stupid things not oneself then push them on all others... acceptance of those attachments or denial of them is both a blessing and a
Freewill says thanks but no thanks... it accepts what it wants as a gift to it's life and nothing else. Those forcing their will onto another is not
freedom it is bondage. Once free? No thanks your mess you can keep it as not my job to perpetuate such things it simply is what it is despite saying
it is what anyone else wants or desires it to be... flowing on and flowing on until the "system" gets the god damned hint I don't want nor desire to
be a part of any familial bubble except what I choose in exercising free will.
So many ages some many deaths some many re-iterations landing back in the same place, torn asunder, ground, ripped apart, scattered, ached and
bemoaned to the point of being beyond any suffering except in the mirror of those attachments. The mirror says nothing the attachment points and forms
attachments to those illusions and concepts.
Gods of any sort? No thanks. Devils of any sort? No thanks. Taking what one was given called a life not one's own? No more... that is the excerising
of free will.
The attachment to an illusion of a "me" and "I" that others have that have never been any "me" or "I" except under the same illusion or delusion is
not any one... you will always see you differently the spite and control is trying to tear ones origional face off and place it on another not oneself
instead of simply appreciating the beauty of what already is and was once the origional face of being in and of itself has been seen beyond any
attachment at all.
Why two nirvanas? The first is one's own detachment from all the world... the second the detachment of the world to oneself that is not oneself but
the you they never knew and never could know as a part of them an empty bubble in a dream not oneself. It is the same as a picture is that image one
holds in hand or mind that person? Or simply the view and opinion they have of that person?
The amswer is obvious and if not? Then rote cannot understand the experience of such a thing... following these words are just as empty as the
edit on 23-11-2016 by BigBrotherDarkness because: (no reason given)
I live in the city, we have street-wise squirrels here, eager to compete with us for territory. In an all out fight, they probably have numerous
I don't know BBD, waiting for people to die seems to me like no way to live. We don't choose our families but nor do they choose us, and sometimes we
stick out like a sore thumb amongst our own kind, and no amount of tweaking is ever going to fix that, you just have to accept them for who
they are, even if they can't accept you for who you are, or can't understand the way you are. At the end of the day we are all alone, concentrating
on learning to live with myself is what I focus on, that which I can control, I do, that which I can't, I let be. I may get exasperated, frustrated
and hurt by the actions of others, I may need to let off steam from time to time, but that is what I need, and not an exercise in assigning
When I was a kid, around puberty, I started losing weight, had a lot of abdominal pain and was frequently sick. When the doctors could find nothing
wrong they told my parents that I was anorexic. When I questioned this, that I wasn't starving myself, or making myself sick, I was told that I was
in denial. It was suggested that people with anorexia are deceitful so I was called a liar, manipulative. The more I denied it, the harder I was
scrutinised, I was watched when I ate, I was watched when I went to the bathroom. My school and teachers were informed that I had a 'problem' and
that I needed to monitored. When I continued to lose weight despite all this watching, my Mum took to going through my things, my diary and writing.
I lost all privacy. I stopped writing things down. I was threatened with hospitalisation and psychiatrists. It wasn't until I left home for
university that I got 'better'.
In the end it became easier to agree with people, tell them what they wanted to hear. When I lost weight suddenly, I'd say I'd had a relapse, and who
knows perhaps that is what anorexia is, even though within five minutes of talking to 'another' anorexic we would both be well aware that our
'conditions' were quite different. I got very ill, and lost a dangerous amount of weight this time last year. I'd been pushing myself too hard and I
broke. Because it was easier, I told everyone that I had a relapse and because I had accepted that they might be right, it might be all in my head, I
believed it for a while, perhaps I was forgetting to eat, or forgetting that I hadn't eaten, or thinking I had when I hadn't. Perhaps I was
subconsciously willing myself to be sick...perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.
Anyway, I finally drew the right straw and I got a doctor to listen to me rather than what other doctors had said about me and last week
I got a diagnosis. I'm a mutant, I have a defective gene that explains everything. Colour me satisfied. And vindicated.
Do my family suddenly 'get me'? Purleeeaase!
I'll re-write my narrative, they'll re-write their's and never the twain shall meet. I accept that and don't lose any sleep over it, I try to love
them for who they are and know that they tried their best but had demons that they never learnt to chase away. What can you do? You can only be so
responsible for others but you can take complete responsibility for yourself.
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