I'm Tired - I'm Exhausted

I know how you feel. When you're the only one who does the research, when you're the only one who looks for the documents, the stories, and the videos. No matter what you present you're the one who is crazy, you're too pessimistic, or you're a "Right/left" winger. It really SUCKS to be a constitutionalist in a country that doesn't care about it's own rights, doesn't care about the future, only what it can get NOW. And it will be the death of the republic, if it isn't dead already.

I'm surprised at some of the responses in this thread. Certain members that I have until now held with high esteem have felt the need to make this personal.

It's as simple as this: if you can't relate to what the OP has conveyed then chances are you haven't gotten off your arse and endeavored to achieve anything significant enough to impart.

The OP isn't claiming to have a unique prophetic 'way' or 'truth'. He's sharing his defeatist feelings on educating a corrupt world that allows the few to control the many and a world that is contrary to the elevation of the human condition.

Some of you need to tone it down and redirect your judgmental wagging index fingers at yourselves. The OP has made an honest endeavor at combating the corruptions of this world and yet so many of you see fit make accusations of martyrdom.

To those I'm referring, you're like captured crabs in a fishing net. As crabs try to escape from a net they are clawed back by their captured counterparts. Rather than encourage the OP and suggest motivations you'd rather spit and name call. What a classy day for ATS.

@OP: For what it's worth, I relate. I started this thread only last week:

www.abovetopsecret.com...

[edit on 22-2-2010 by rexusdiablos]

(continued)

So, I guess my thought about the situation is this: leave the fools alone, there is nothing you can do about them - but the fight is still on and you're be a worthy warrior when you just don't give in...see, it's a subtractive method...you just don't do evil, and this is by itself a good action. It is enough pissing for the idiots, that you don't follow them in whatever they do...it makes it question the value of what they do. It is evident that plenty of people don't like what they like.
And if they're so idiot to not question the likeability of their #, well, I guess sonner or later they'll realize.

For it is #, and nothing else. And truth is definitely more real than a lie.

And they don't distinguish lie from truth. In the end, I think they'll lose. I can't see what good can come from such lack of skill in understanding reality. It can have a temporary benefit but in the long therm, it's definitely not convenient.

Nobody really like the sheeps, nobody finds true worth in them, for real. They're just another idiot. This would be very disturbing the day you realize that, as there's no escape, it is no illusion: it is real, you are (one of them is) unlikeable as a human being. Simply no dignity, no worth whatsoever. This has got to be depressive. But of course, one can always change. They don't wanna realize they're stupid? Fine, they are anyway. You must rejoice in knowing the truth. This is grand enough. It doesn't matter if they don't know the truth already or if they do. What matters is that the truth is the truth. Therefore truer than lies.

It is hard, I realize. Hard hard hard. But we're not alone.

Originally posted by XXXN3O
Question is, where do you want to finish and where do you want to lead others, the light or the darkness? Simple as.

Priceless analogy. Toast to you. Keep the faith. You made my day.

reply to post by KyoZero


sure ill put it in the pile with all your other incredibly useful posts.

its called the trash.

Originally posted by gwydionblack
I have spent the last four years of my life trying to wake people up.

The ego never gets everythign it wants. This is why you are tired and exhausted; your "mission" is entirely ego-based.

Let it go. The ego seeks to control everything.

reply to post by gwydionblack


You are the perfect citizen. The (insert your boogeyman here) love you. You have accepted your lot and prefer to live a life of hopelessness, despair, and powerlessness. Your equally powerless friends will pat you on the back and moan how "No one listens", I'm so much smarter and clever", ad nauseum, ad infinitum. Powerless people are sad. But powerless people who spread their malaise are a social concern. I'm confident their are many folks here on ATS who log off and then actively engage in activism in their communities. I do it all the time. Because it's what we can do. The best thing you can do is give up and keep quiet. You want to be passive. Be passive. You don't want to pay taxes, don't pay them. You want to engage in direct action against the state, then do so. Otherwise just go away. If you want to affect change start in your own backyard. Where you live and work. This requires commitment and effort. Ask yourself. Am I up to the task. Or do you just want to take the easy way out. I suspect the latter.

Originally posted by pumpkinorange

Originally posted by XXXN3O
Question is, where do you want to finish and where do you want to lead others, the light or the darkness? Simple as.

Priceless analogy. Toast to you. Keep the faith. You made my day.

I just don't see the sage like quality of this statement. Of course the OP wants to lead others to light all the while defining a trajectory from a start point to an end point. What am I missing here? It's cliche to me.

Click here for more information.

reply to post by rexusdiablos


Posting on the internet does not qualify as activism. Producing something of worth to someone other then yourself is.

I feel exactly like you do, but I sometimes think that maybe it is better to just live your life being oblivious to the evil and lies all around us.
I have been avid reader of ATS and other alternative news site for some time now and to be honest I do not know if I am better off knowing the truth about the way the world runs and the amount of evil and lies we are being sold. Maybe it is better off to live your life happy and content without the knowledge of the truth. Just my thoughts.

reply to post by gwydionblack


A quote from you -

And thus the people continue to wait. Instead of trouncing upon the opportunity that is given to us to enact a revolution with minimal bloodshed, we instead opt to wait...

That is why you are getting nowhere. Your violent and you want to overthrow the government not fix it.

The people you think are ignoring you are likely more qualified to protect themselves and make their own decisions than you are. The world does not need more madmen fighting for imaginary causes. We have plenty, thank you. We are also sane.

Who protects us from you?

Originally posted by gwydionblack
age does not determine maturity. I should think that it should do nothing to discredit my opinion.

...age does not guarantee intellectual maturity... intellectual maturity does not guarantee wisdom... it is the ego-less understanding of one's own experiences that encourages wisdom - and - that takes TIME - because - you have to have experiences before you can begin to attempt to understand them for what they truly are, rather than what your ego wants them to be...

...as for whether or not your age should discredit your opinion: sometimes age is a factor simply because it CAN be a measure of experience...

...ie: at 21, its highly unlikely that you've raised children to adulthood yet - so, your opinion on child rearing might be full of excellent ideas but they're still just ideas without practical experience...

...see if you find the contradictions in your own statements below... if you can, you MIGHT be on the road that MIGHT lead to wisdom... if you cannot see your own contradictions, your ego needs to be put on a fat-free diet... good luck...

Originally posted by gwydionblack
The truth is that ALL MEN are free, there are just those that are too blind to see it and take it.

Originally posted by gwydionblack
People think they are free, they are wrong. They do not know what freedom truly is.

Originally posted by gwydionblack
Do you think those people will take my advice? No. I don't bereave them or demean them in any way,

Originally posted by gwydionblack
What do I expect people to do? Grow a spine. Don't be lazy.

Originally posted by gwydionblack
Because I, unlike the people I try to convince, see true freedom for what it is.

Originally posted by gwydionblack
I don't want fame, fortune, or glory.

Originally posted by gwydionblack
I wouldn't mind running for office.

Originally posted by gwydionblack
I doubt the resolve of many of the people here on ATS because any I know anything about, are not prepared to go the lengths I am prepared to to make the dream a reality. I've been here for a year and I've yet to see somebody portray my message of freedom as I have done. I have yet to see someone else make the claims of change that I have. And lastly, I have yet to see anybody do anything but to doubt me, when in reality they know nothing about me, they know nothing about my resource, my circles, or who I am.

Originally posted by gwydionblack
I don't consider myself better than anybody

reply to post by whaaa


I tend to have the effect. I type and speak how I do it. I have had many people tell me they don't understand my rhyme or reason to it, or that I do indeed make myself out to be pompous. That may be your opinion but I assure you it isn't the truth.

The fact of the matter is that I hold myself in quite low self esteem, and if anything I consider myself beneath some people. However, the only people I consider myself better than are the corruptors of this world. If you disagree then perhaps you are a part of that corruption.


reply to post by rexusdiablos


At last, somebody who sees me for me. No worries, however, as I have become accustomed to the name calling and attacking of my character on ATS. As I said, it only fuels me more.

The only thing I have to offer to these people is my word, and never has my word faltered from my core beliefs. Yet they play me off as if I have lied to their faces and spat on their legacies, when in reality, I am doing the same thing as some of them are - I am trying to change this world for the better.

We may have our different ways to do that, and some of us may ACTUALLY be attempting that while others sit behind their computers and judge them, but in the end we are all working towards the same goal. The sooner you all see that and put aside the stupid petty differences the better.

I can't help but to see the comparison between those in history who have come with revolutionary thoughts and ideas and were chastised for them. However, if not for some of these men persevering past the ridicule and contempt, we would not have some of the great things we have today. Thus it only drives me more.


reply to post by purpleduck


Thanks for the lengthy reply. I can feel sentiment with your story and views and will take them to heart.


reply to post by Dogdish


I shall check out that thread when I get a chance. Thanks for the reply.

I also think most people greatly overestimate their worth and they will soon realize what they're really worth according to the Universe, not according to their own happy fantasy world:

they are worth, according to the universe, and according to me, an intelligent person, a #in nothing.

There's a lot of good in the world and many kind and decent people. I think a great way to make a real and tangible contribution to society is to give money to charity or donate your time to some volunteer cause, even if it's just washing dogs at the local animal shelter.

If you focus on looking for the negatives in every situation, the world is going to appear as a dark and scary place, and you will be fearful, paranoid, and pessimistic.

If you focus on finding things to be positive about, you'll find there's a lot of good to be found.

It's very very hard for one person to change the world but if you focus on being a good example to the people you are in contact with daily, thru kindness, tolerance, and generosity, you will change your corner of the world for the better and inspire others to do the same.

I would recommend reading the Tao Te Ching, translation by Johnathan Star. Can be read in under an hour and might change your life for the better.

Good luck on your quest for truth and meaning.

reply to post by gwydionblack


You want people to listen...

Use the global media such as TV and Radio to reach the masses...
(It must be true if its on TV... )

Beat them at their own game!

I have been thinking about the original post for several hours and what I really find sad is how weak a person must be to whine after a mere four years of fighting for his/her truth! I'm sorry, but you just sound weak and childish.

I have been active fighting "trickle down" economics and other travesties for thirty years and by that I mean I have been involved politically in concrete ways - getting people to register to vote, raising money, donating money and working on a local level to help fight poverty and crime, writing letters to local newspapers. What are you doing besides posting on ATS?

Yeah, I get tired and dispirited sometimes but giving up and throwing at tantrum after four years - you do not inspire confidence and you surely demonstrate no leadership skills...your violent solutions are those of a loser, IMO.

reply to post by Blaine91555


Hey Blaine I am so impressed with your successively being the voice of reason in the good fight against this particular form of delusional feelings of grandeur.

I think I haven't yet read something from you that I couldn't agree with.

To the op:

Your problem is not your government. Maybe the reason you can't wake anyone up (very telling that you use "wake up" for convincing) is that you don't have anything to say really?

This kind of diffuse anger and frustration with the "gov" and "the state of the world" was responsible for far more bloodshed and bull# than the worst political system imaginable could ever do.

If you want a revolution, revolutionize yourself and change whatever the heck it is that makes you so upset that you want to see blood in the streets. Really. The only Revolution that has ever worked was the Revolution of oneself. All the rest is just a childs poppycock fantasy about power and delusions of grandeur.

It seems you are just frustrated that you can't bully the whole world around you into looking at things in your own pseudodramatic way. History is full of doomsayers and wannabe Revolutionaries - they always look so petty in retrospect. Think about that. or not.

Rant. over.