reply to post by Akragon
It is quite the presumption, and I normally wouldn't presume... except that I have had a very close friend display almost identical behaviour, almost
word for word, in some instances from this thread. He addressed everyone with a "brother" as well as many other similarities. I also read through
many of IAMIAM's previous posts and saw a very similar progression of thoughts to my friend in the lead up to his psychosis.
At the time, we half thought he was joking and would somewhat encourage his theories, however this just confirmed a lot of these thoughts in his head,
and he developed an ever more detached, but intense personality, with more and more outlandish claims. His final downward spiral was extremely scary,
and it was only during one of his more lucid moments that he actually managed to ask to be committed, as I think he half realised that he wasn’t
thinking straight. I won't go into specific details, but many sad things happened during his episode.
We have talked extensively since the incident, and he has a very clear memory of everything that happened up until the last few days, and while at
times he almost seemed to be divine in his understanding of things (similar to IAMIAM), there was a price for it. He calls it "mind burn", and says
it is the best way he can describe what was happening inside his head, where "pure" thoughts or "answers" seemed to float out of nowhere (he
ascribed to it to God at the time, but now ascribes it to his sub-conscious), and if he "believed" them he would get more "answers". He says that
they shone, and would burn away his inner freedom of thought, and this led to a downward spiral where he couldn't independently make a thought or
decision but seemed to be ruled by his sub-conscious entirely. He did not understand this at the time, and thought he was completely in control, and
it is only years later, after much thought and meditation is he able to explain somewhat what was happening in his mind.
I have somewhat butchered my friends explanation in this post, but the general gist is there, and is why I am concerned for IAMIAM and felt the need
to relate my experiences and suggestions.
I think it is excellent to expand one’s mind, but IAMIAM seems to be speaking in circular dependencies (such as “I am who I am”), and this is
the basest form of mental loop that someone can get caught in.
I do apologise if I sounded overly forceful, it was probably just my concern, but I do think it is a good idea for IAMIAM to talk to someone objective
in private. At the very least it would be the first step in confirming his beliefs if there is truth behind them.