Men and Child support. What is the answer?

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by SevenBeans

 

See.....my children are in their FINAL year of high school..........HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLO !!!

Next year is UNIVERSITY !!!

And.. what? Your post makes no sense.

reply to post by Flighty


Well thats good and you should bloody well know you don't bring up 3 teens in a one bedroom apartment in Australia. No Australian does that. That was your first mistake. Secondly, when I put up figures, I don't second guess them. I only put up a rough estimate of mine only a couple of posts above.

The orginal question was an example based upon a rough estimate of what the Americans might pay in rent in a semi decent area bringing up 1-2 small children.

Now in my suburb there are no one bedroom apartments and there are no townhouses. We are in a small family community where our houses are 3-5 bedroom. I chose the area I'm in because it's one of the last remaining areas near all the best schools in Sydney where rent is still semi reasonable, my kids have plenty of room and are close to good sporting facilities.

I'm not being defensive.....I'm being realistic. Kids need to thrive.....they're not mice you can put in little match boxes.

reply to post by SevenBeans


Of course it does'nt because you don't have a clue!

Originally posted by bluemirage5
Of course it does'nt because you don't have a clue!

No point, that's what I thought.

Reading through this thread is SO ridiculous. A few have suggested to not have sex unless you're willing to have a child. The only response they get is "Nope, not gonna happen", "Teenagers have raging hormones", "It's not realistic for people to stop having sex", etc. Okay, so then what the HELL are you complaining about exactly? You have the mindset that human beings are helpless animals that aren't capable of making sound, well thought out decisions and are 100% impulsive....so why complain about the consequences you create for yourself if you aren't even willing to consider behaving in a more responsible manner? This reckless behavior has been passed down from generation to generation since the baby boomers and this trend of divorce and broken families will continue unless the adults of the world toughen up and teach their kids reality. Refusing to even consider abstaining from sex with people who aren't willing to mother/father your children properly and whining and complaining after the fact is NOT going to break this vicious cycle. You only add to the problem by doing that.

reply to post by bluemirage5


Sorry, missed the last sentence of your post.
As I've mentioned a few times in other threads, my son is 26 years old and is in the Construction Industry.
Very soon he'll be a fully qualified Builder and is on track to start his own company.
He did his time at Uni and left when he felt he had enough knowledge and experience to enter the Industry at mid level. He wanted to get cracking at working to save enough money to get a house and also to start his own business by age 30. That's his goal and he's put in the hard yards to do it.

But I don't know really know what this has to do with the topic of this thread of men and child support and what is the answer?

reply to post by Flighty


Cool.....lets hope the building industry continues to thrive.

The CSA is very different to that in the USA.....ours has made small improvements but we still have a long way to go however I'd much rather they overhaul the tax system first.

I don't have a magic answer as each individual case is different. I never had any elusions from day one and I have no confidence in the system. All I know is I managed without CS and I just thank God my kids are happy, healthy and thriving.

At the end of the day, if non-custodial parents want to sherk their responsibilities, they will pay the price at some point in their miserable lives; they always do. If these fathers think they'll get a knock on the door one day it will only be the health dept carting them off to a public nursing home where they will be left in their own excretment and medicated up to the eye balls in a room with 2 or 3 others until their last breath! Thats justice!

reply to post by bluemirage5


Edit: Never mind.

reply to post by HarmonicNights


Mate.....my teens have raging hormones and I can assure you they're still sweet and innocent

Originally posted by Aeons
reply to post by bluemirage5

 

None. Their answer is not a penny.

dead wrong i happily pay my support, my children and their happiness are the only things that matter.
i don't mind paying support at all i do it by court order on the children from my first marriage even though i paid it myself without court order for 2 years prior to the order.
I pay voluntarily for my daughter from my second marriage...cash... no order. i have paid for 12 years and NEVER been late on a single payment.

men aren't the heartless aholes you make them out to be. your attitude is very biased and your tone is constantly argumentative. You provoke you do not debate.

Incivility has no place in debate. only the playground.

Please all of you maintain yourselves as adults and no finger pointing about he did it first or she did.
it doesn't help either side of any issue to resort to base childish name calling and the silliness that is currently pooping on my thread.

reply to post by CaDreamer


Mate.....no one is complaining about those who pay reasonable CS........it's only those who whinge about it or those who think they should'nt be held responsible when their marriages fail or get a harlot up the duff!

Originally posted by sonnny1
reply to post by bluemirage5

 

Yes,hes asking for some kinda of help.Hes struggling.His BACK is against the wall.

i am just sharing my experience and talking to others that are going through the same thing hoping i can at the very least reassure them or even possibly help them.
that is all that is the only intent i have for this thread.

I am the OP

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by CaDreamer

 

Mate.....no one is complaining about those who pay reasonable CS........it's only those who whinge about it or those who think they should'nt be held responsible when their marriages fail or get a harlot up the duff!

edit on 3-6-2011 by bluemirage5 because: (no reason given)

If a marriage fails, I see that the man is responsible for the child. If the parents are not married, then he is not. If she can't afford it, she can have an abortion or put the kid up for adoption.

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by SevenBeans

 

So when a husband/wife team happily has 2-3 children then separated after 10 years, suddenly it's her fault and she should be 100% responsible for their children?

Or are you talking about a loser shanking a harlot and a child is conceived?

READ THIS: BOTH parents are equally responsible for their child. If you don't want to conceive a child.....keep your junk in your pants!

every single man and woman should heed that advice. marriage is a completely different story. if birth control is 99% effective... i bet there is a 1% moment within that marriage at some point....happened to me twice within marriages...to sterile*from the doctors mouth) women.
so i cant see how that applies to divorced people.

reply to post by SevenBeans


I am pretty lucky to have had family to help me. I understand all situations aren't like that.

"Tapwater..oh the humanity" If you'd taste the tap water, you'd understand. Our county's been sued by the EPA four times. People got sick last time. I am also up to my arse in student loan debt, but we did it.

Out of curiosity, how do you feel about adoptive fathers being nailed for child support if they get divorced? I personally do NOT think that is fair at all. I also don't think it's fair for a guy to be tricked and/or trapped into taking care of a child. That happens a lot here. Some girls even go to the lengths of putting pinholes in their boyfriend's condoms to "trap their man". They should not be able to hold the unknowing sperm donor (because that's what it is) responsible. It's their cradle, they should be the ones left to rock it, both figuratively and literally. But if the decision was mutual to have children, and after counseling, the parents still can't make it work, then they should share the expense of the kids. My mom never sued my father for support because he was a violent drunk.

A lot of nice guys turn into bitter jerks because they've been stepped on and tricked by a woman. Is it safe to assume your heart's been stepped on? There seem to be a lot of hurt feelings in this thread.

The whole system needs to be done over. At least DHS makes a person go to work for no less than 16 hours a week or go to job training to be eligible for benefits if you're a single parent. Boy do some people get mad when they hear that. What did you think of the other ideas I presented? Like making mothers or fathers keep detailed records of how the money is spent. It always ticked me off when while I worked at a convenience store when I suspected (or knew because the kids told on their moms) moms were buying cigarettes and beer with their welfare and child support.

reply to post by CaDreamer


How does a doctor know a woman is 100% sterile unless she had her tubes clipped or had a hysterectomy?

Originally posted by Aeons
Here's a thesis from Canada citing Canadian and US cases, thesis, and statistics.

www.collectionscanada.gc.ca...

I particularly enjoyed some of chapter three, showing that men advocating on behalf of men's lobby groups tend to ignore statistics.

i think the problem here is that you are using Canadian statistics...as you should your Canadian.I am in the united states and those are the statistics we are referring to, Canada's statistics are not relevant to the case.

reply to post by CaDreamer


How can you offer others help when you clearly need help to work out your own finances? I left quite afew posts in regards to yours and I'm not buying your story. Self explained. Op !

Originally posted by bluemirage5
reply to post by sonnny1

 

I did cherry pick it......

and I also DID mention in my post you live in shared accomodation. Where I come from that means you live with other flatmates!

Ok, here's another senario....think about it.

Mum works fulltime at Walmart (have no idea what min wage is over there), receives no child support, no alimony, and has 3 kids to feed. You on the other hand allege you are a professional earning a decent salary or wage and pay 30% of your gross wage in child support. Now.....who is better off?

Could I also ask any of you.....how does alimony work over there and how much % do they pay?

I'm trying to be fair here.....so please be patient!

Alimony is a whole different but the rate is based on " the lifestyle she or he has become accustomed to living"

do not want to discuss this issue on this thread. please restrain yourself.

reply to post by CobraCommander


Marriage or common marriage.....same thing but don't let those vowels to God bite you in the bum on your way out the door!