reply to post by CaDreamer
I can only come to the table of this discussion with my own experiences.
My ADHD son has a daughter - he also had a job paying good money and caught up on his child support.
My son's ex wife called his employer and got him fired. He found this out from a person there he use to work with.
Now he is jobless (thanks to his ex wife she cut her own throat because she enjoys fighting even more than money).
When my ex daughter in law began to divorce my son, I begged her not to draw this out into a nasty hateful fight using her daughter as a pawn. I
offered her $1,500 a month if I could remain in my grand daughter's life...........what happened between her and my son is none of my business.
If my ex daughter in law had played her cards right and not ignored "joint custody" rulings, and allowed us, my son, my husband and I to see our
beloved sweetie every two weeks, she and our grand daughter would now be living rent free in a three bedroom, 1-1/2 bath with full basement
But, my ex daughter in law used the exact same lawyer her own father used against her mother who promptly could not take the nasty tactics and abandon
her four children to a very mean man that enjoyed fighting with everyone around him.
Case in point, the only people that came to his funeral were my husband's family and two or three friends. I never went to a funeral where hardly
anyone showed up but her father was just like her a mean hateful sob.
My son is looking for work but he does not have a college degree and is ADHD, jobs are getting harder to come by.
For Christmas each year we buy our grand daughter 400-500 USD worth of clothes to take her through winter.
I also buy her summer wardrode............but like the brand new 80.00 coat we bought her and gave to her before winter set in, as they met in the
parking lot, my son's ex wife tore the winter coat off of our grand daughter and threw it at my son..............she would rather fight than have her
daughter receive anything from us.
The court is beginning to wise up but it has taken the "system" eight years to figure out this woman is a psychopath just like her father who refused
to see his grand daughter until 2 weeks before he died on his death bed.
Don't talk to me about child support.
My son has always paid his child support when his ex wife hasn't royally screwed with his life making it impossible.
She has contacted his fiancé, his previous employers, she has stalked him, and even her lawyer has commented to my son's lawyer "she is
Again, I love my grand daughter (I am the paternal grand mother) so much with all my heart and soul, I would move heaven and earth for her.
She just turned ten and still cries when it's time to go back to mama.
If my daughter in law had simply just made this an amicable divorce and not used her daughter as a pawn in her vicious games, she literally would be
the proud owner of a townhome in a nice neighborhood - we have a ten room home in another town.
My ex daughter in law is insane with jealousy that her parents could care less about our beautiful grand daughter, and that because she was running
around after work going to school and kareoking at bars every night after work, my son would come home after work and took care of our grand daughter
from birth up until two when the twitch took off for three months and disappeared with our grand daughter.
In short, because my son is the one who cared for our grand daughter she developed a bond with her father that usually the mother has........mom again
was too busy going to school and going to bars to sing almost every night. She also couldn't change a poopie diaper because they made her sick.
My son took care of our grand daughter the first two years of her life and their bond, even to this day drives my ex daughter in law crazy.
Yes father's should pay child support, but young women now are playing real head games and men can't seem to think with the head on their shoulders
and pick real spoiled mean princesses.
In short, people should live togeather for awhile to see if the relationship works out.
Then, if it does and they want kids, marry................marriage is a very legally binding contract and once children are involved it gets really
Many women now are using the system to muck over the men............men and their children are now being used as pawns by manipulating women and the
real victims are the millions of children now being raised in a one parent house hold because two adults couldn't hold off having children before
logically making sure their marriage is stable and going to last and that they can provide for their children.
If you want kids fine, but make sure you have a stable marriage - people muck around like dogs, get pregnant like pigs and cows without bothering to
really get to know the person they are sharing their gene pool with and don't take the time or effort to make sure they are going to be able to
provide a stable enviroment for their off spring.
Why in sam hell do you think we have so many prisons? So much sadness in the world, so many mean vicious, maladjusted adults now?
Two weeks ago I got to see my grand daughter for two days, it was the first time in almost six months. She actually asked me to sleep in the same bed
as her because she missed me for so long. During the night she turned towards me and hugged me and said, "Gram, thank you for sleeping with me, I
missed you and Grandpa so".
My ex daughter in law (again) flaunted "joint custody" ruling for almost six months and the system is just now beginning to take action against
her.................but it's taken eight years and my grand daughter says she hates her mother which is a sad thing for a kid to say.
And if you have a daughter that wears a size 12-14 u2u me as we now have 4-500 USD worth of clothes and six pairs of shoes & boots size 3-4 that our
grand daughter was never allowed to wear she has now out grown.
I am now putting in a trust fund money for her vs buying her clothes.
One last detail..............my son's "wow mom ain't she beautiful" spoiled princess tried to get her hands on that townhome, I would have gladly
given the townhouse to her if she had kept our grand daughter away from her hateful vengence she has unleashed upon us, but after her games, we showed
the court the receipts that my husband and I had literally paid for this townhome and we were award the townhouse this itch tried to steal from
us.......................yep, this little princess could have been living / owning a 1600 SF townhome if she had simply been nice and not made my son
and my grand daugher's life a living hell these past eight years.
Men, beware, be very aware and careful where you dip your wick because many women now are into the "give me a big fancy queen for a day wedding and
give me the baby experience" and like a black widow she than eats her mate alive.
Women have changed, many are very spoiled and self centered..............and it is our children that suffer.
I've been married to the same wonderful man for now almost 37 years because I was raised to give and take.
Our laws are prejudice towards the woman when 80% of all divorces end with main custody being given to the mother and joint custody is a joke, if mom
decides to honor the court ruling papa gets to see his kid(s) for 48 hours every two weeks.
Again, you young men out there, be very very careful..............many young women today are vicious harpies and will take you to the cleaners.
Some choices you make will alter not only your life but those who have to live with the consequences of your actions.
Men, please try to start think with your other head, the one on top of your neck and not the one inbetween your legs.
The last words my grand daughter spoke to me were, "Grammie, when is the court going to ask me who I want to live with? Papa and X (his fiance') love
me, not mama, she's not capable of love.
We have never talked badly about her mother, I have told her "you will always love her because she is your mother" but you may not like the way she is
acting or what she is doing."
She replied, "Yes she drives me crazy, I want to live with my papa".
And my son is a lot more strict with her than my ex daughter in law who lets the TV babysit her.
My son restricts TV, plays games with her, helps her with her school work because mom is too busy on the internet giving paralegal advice, going out
with friends and on her eighth boy friend.
edit on 1-6-2011 by ofhumandescent because: grammar and my heart aches so much from rehashing this I
can't see through the tears.