When Did You Choose To Be Straight?

I see what you did there in the thread titlke, pretty sneaky.

Seriously though....

Imo, Humans are born straight, all of them. Maybe not females, I'm still on the fence. I have this lingering theory that most, not all females have the urge to be bi-sexual, especially given the right circumstances. Just my 33 years of life experience talking.

Gays on the other hand (men) "choose to be gay", it's usually due to upbringing, rebelling against thier straight religious parents (theres a big one), confusion, psychological problems, curiosity, no luck with the opposite sex, no desire for sex, whatever the reason might be.

There's tons of reasons why gays choose to be gay.

I'm sure a person can be programmed at such an earlier age to turn out gay that they believe they were born that way. But it's usually a boy with 4 sisters, and only dolls to plat with, and dress up games, from the age of 3-6. Just cause you can't remember what made you gay, doesn't mean you were born that way.

I have nothing against gays. I have a gay uncle, whom by coincidence was raised in a house with 5 sisters, and a mean Drunk Father.

But he's a great person, so is his mate.

I'm just of the opinion that people choose to be gay, then again, with all the advances in genetics, I could be proven wrong, I may have been proven wrong already, it's not really something I spend time reading up on.

These are just personal life experiences, that I've seen all the kids in school who came out of the closet around 14-16, all had mny home/family issues that were very similiar, that I'm going on.

In Closing

But yea be gay if that makes you happy, more power to you. But for your own safety, and keeping others in mind, try to be discrete. As long as your haveing fun, and it's legal, and it's not bothering me, hey, Go for it people!

Originally posted by jisujaaljo
I do belive this prove it`s not a choice

www.pinknews.co.uk...

Yes sheep physcology, great to use as a comparison to humans.

I bet 70% of those "gay sheep" were just in heat, saw a hole and, oops.

So no, I don't believe an animals behavior with an IQ of .001, has anything to do with "PROOF" Humans are born gay.

Tune in to next weeks show where we examine the praying mantis, and question if it's morally ok for a pregnant wife to butchers her husband and eat him, so her embyo gets good solid protiens while in the womb.

reply to post by Nola213


Considering the neurologically and chemically a gay man's brain reacts similar to a strait woman's brain in the presence of attractive men, it pretty much rules out the idea that it is a choice. The brain 'hard-wires' itself in infancy, as a response to a particular cocktail of biological chemicals.

It's believed that everyone starts out with an innate bisexuality until they become sexually dimorphic in the womb.

And what are these "loads" of reasons to choose to be gay anyway because I can't think of any other than "because I am gay" (I'm not btw)? What's more, when is that decision made?

The study of human sexuality that has been done over the last few decades (go look up wikipedia) suggests that our sexualities are set from birth, and that environmental conditions (apart from trauma) have little to no effect on our sexualities.

Yes sheep physcology, great to use as a comparison to humans.

I bet 70% of those "gay sheep" were just in heat, saw a hole and, oops.

So no, I don't believe an animals behavior with an IQ of .001, has anything to do with "PROOF" Humans are born gay.

If it is from birth in sheep then it makes sense that the same mechanisms work in other mammals too. Which makes sense as you'll see similar presences of homosexuality throughout the animal kingdom.

[edit on 27/12/2008 by Good Wolf]

I never actively chose to be attracted to men, I just was. I however would not be so conceited to think that I know why or how someone is whatever they are, sexually speaking.

I don't know how or why it works just as I would wager a guess that most people don't either, they only think they do. I think we have opinions that are based on personal or religious teachings that make us believe we actually know whats going on. I have a feeling that somewhere in the universe god is either rolling their eyes at all of us or at very least getting a good laugh. I don't think anyone really knows, but it sure seems like a lot of people are certain they do.

Originally posted by Good Wolf
reply to post by archetype_one

 

My question is this: If you are bi identified and able to be satisfied by both/either gender do you still hold a preference for one over the other, or is your attraction indeed equal?

Yes, usually there is a preference. I think in most cases of bisexuality in men, the preference is for woman and for women the reverse is true. But with that said, it's my opinion that bisexuals naturally have rather flexible and dynamic sexualities prone to sway in our interests. That's my experience of it anyway.

It's also typical for bisexual men to like effeminate females and effeminate males. In this way usually masculinity is a turn off. Again the reverse is usually true for bisexual women.

The thing to remember is that the three terms; Heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual, are abit ambiguous because they are being applied to a spectrum. There are multitudes of variants between the extremes of exclusively heterosexual and homosexual.

You self identify as gay but have obviously been with a woman, so you are not exclusively homosexual but you will still be closer to homosexual than true bisexual.

[edit on 27/12/2008 by Good Wolf]

Thanks for the insightful response Good Wolf - I know that those who consider themselves bisexual also have a valid perspective.

I have seen a few posts that seem to indicate a sort of "domino affect" happening. The poster concedes to homosexuality but then turns and transfers their old beliefs about homosexuality on down to bisexuals. When this happens the cycle just repeats itself for yet another minority group and I think that's very unfortunate.

Even though I go around describing myself as "gay identified" I think it would behoove us to refer back the old Kinsley Scale or something similar.

www.kinseyinstitute.org...

I agree with you on the idea of sexuality being a spectrum. We really need to find a better way to classify ourselves as a whole. As this thread can attest we are all individuals with a myriad of life experiences. It doesn't seem right to try to fit everyone into 1 of 3 options - homosexual, bisexual or heterosexual. Even though I was, at one time, capable of being with a woman if you asked me to go there now I would cringe!

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you attested in an earlier post that you only just recognized your bisexuality in the last few months. So there there must be a scale of sexual awareness/attraction that we all slide up and down throughout our lives.

Yes, I want my relationship with my partner to be validated, but certainly not at the expense of bisexuals or any other group!

We should all unify our beliefs and coin a new term (or make an old term new again) and give everyone the freedom to slide up and down the scale of sexual expression as they see fit!

[edit on 27-12-2008 by archetype_one]

Originally posted by Nola213
I see what you did there in the thread titlke, pretty sneaky.

Seriously though....

Imo, Humans are born straight, all of them. Maybe not females, I'm still on the fence. I have this lingering theory that most, not all females have the urge to be bi-sexual, especially given the right circumstances. Just my 33 years of life experience talking.

Gays on the other hand (men) "choose to be gay", it's usually due to upbringing, rebelling against thier straight religious parents (theres a big one), confusion, psychological problems, curiosity, no luck with the opposite sex, no desire for sex, whatever the reason might be.

There's tons of reasons why gays choose to be gay.

I'm sure a person can be programmed at such an earlier age to turn out gay that they believe they were born that way. But it's usually a boy with 4 sisters, and only dolls to plat with, and dress up games, from the age of 3-6. Just cause you can't remember what made you gay, doesn't mean you were born that way.

I have nothing against gays. I have a gay uncle, whom by coincidence was raised in a house with 5 sisters, and a mean Drunk Father.

But he's a great person, so is his mate.

I'm just of the opinion that people choose to be gay, then again, with all the advances in genetics, I could be proven wrong, I may have been proven wrong already, it's not really something I spend time reading up on.

These are just personal life experiences, that I've seen all the kids in school who came out of the closet around 14-16, all had mny home/family issues that were very similiar, that I'm going on.

In Closing

But yea be gay if that makes you happy, more power to you. But for your own safety, and keeping others in mind, try to be discrete. As long as your haveing fun, and it's legal, and it's not bothering me, hey, Go for it people!

While I appreciate your acceptance of homosexuals - Does it not mean anything to you that seemingly EVERY gay/lesbian person who has posted here attests to the contrary! Even most heterosexuals in this thread attest that they didn't "choose" to be straight. Your perspective is typical - People get stuck in their mindset and refuse to budge even when presented with proof - correction, not just proof but first-hand-accounts from eye witnesses!

Furthermore, I have 4 brothers and 1 sister. I never played with Barbies and didn't make a habit of dressing in girls clothes.

I do remember having a crush on our paper-boy, I even remember his name, Tom. I was between 2 and 4 when he was delivering to our house. If our sexuality is affected by nurture alone it sure has a small window of opportunity to take affect - Whoever "turned" me gay then would have had to have done it between birth and 2 years!

[edit on 27-12-2008 by archetype_one]

reply to post by archetype_one

Even though I go around describing myself as "gay identified" I think it would behoove us to refer back the old Kinsley Scale or something similar.

Yes I mentioned that scale in an earlier post. When I came out to my friends, it was handy to have it to help to explain to them how I 'worked'.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but you attested in an earlier post that you only just recognized your bisexuality in the last few months. So there there must be a scale of sexual awareness/attraction that we all slide up and down throughout our lives.

Well I knew what I was for years but I refused to identify as bi even to myself. However, since doing so it's really changed me in a lot of ways, but one in particular is that previously I would consider myself about a 4.5 and now a 3ish. So if anything I've learnt how subject to change it is. But I don't think that's typical, I think people at the ends of the scale, 0's and 6's are sure to be really stable.

[edit on 27/12/2008 by Good Wolf]

reply to post by Good Wolf


Sorry, I must have overlooked your previous post about the scale. That's awesome though, I'm glad we share the idea that there is a spectrum!

I do know some very stable "gold stars" too, as we affectionately call them. People who reside in the far extremes of the scale. We have a very close lesbian friend back home who has NEVER had a sexual encounter with a man and she has been with her wife for 15 years! Likewise there are many heterosexuals who have NEVER had a homosexual experience and many who have but are still "straight identified"...

The more I try to defend homosexuality the more I realize that asking to be validated, in some ways, is also just asking to be put in a box and labeled and by doing so I am putting everyone else in their little boxes and labeling them as well - Is this really progress?