When Did You Choose To Be Straight?

I would like serious answers please.

This is a question that keeps coming up in threads about homosexuality and it keeps getting ignored by the very people who say that being gay is a choice.


So,if us homosexuals choose our sexuality I would like to know when you heterosexuals choose yours.

How old were you?
5? 15? 21? 35?
Have you always just known?
Were you born that way?

Did you try being gay first?
Did you experiment before making your decision?

When did you choose to let your subconscious,an uncontrollable part of the brain,think of the opposite sex in physical and emotional ways?


Inquiring minds would like to know.




[edit on 25-12-2008 by DantesLost]

I think it comes down to what you are attracted to,

I have never had a desire to be gay, I have no problem with gay people or the lifestyle they choose, but personally I have always loved the soft curves of a woman and never felt attracted to men.

I don't think it comes down to choice for hetrosexuals, like it isn't a choice for some gay people, you are attracted to what you are attracted to.

I also believe homophobes are those people who have had a sexual desire to experiment with the same sex and it scares them to think they may be gay, eventhough it is normal for humans to be curious.

being curious doesn't mean you have to act upon the urge, you may be curious to know what it is like to dive from 100 meters, but acting upon that curiosity may lead into something you can't handle and scar you for life.

I did not choose to be straight, I was born that way.

I honestly believe the gays, queers and quadroseuxals were born to the fate they suffer as well.

I love women. I love every thing about them. I love the way they smell, I love the way they feel, I love the way they make me feel...If God created anything better he kept if for himself.

I won't ever profess to know the path of someone who is gay.

I can only wish them happiness in the path they were born unto.

Their path is their own, May the creator of us all give them the wisdom to walk it.

Just my thoughts,

wupy

You do not choose , it is the way you are born .

I am not gay, but I am pro -gay , I have a lot of admiration for the gay community in their struggle against ignorance and bigotry .

I never chose to be straight. I was trained to be heterosexual from birth.

During my adolescent years I did experiment and must say it was pleasant.

After four failed marriages I wonder if things would have been different had I chosen a female partner.

That probably would not have worked because I really do love men.

I could have been bi sexual had I not been born in the stone age. I did consider it but chose to suppress those thoughts. My dad held various political offices most of my life and our life was not very private. I did not want to dishonor my family and become an "event".

Im starting a little theory....

That it is geneticaly designated when certian chemicals are released into the brain... so wouldnt it be possible for the first test fires of those chemicals, at the predispositioned time, to stimulate those areas.... Aftert this experiance of stimualtion you would then mentaly examine it and use your enviroment to decide what this feeling is and why it is felt..... from there you would begin binding the part of your brain that would begin conrolling those areas to that stimulus.

thus creating a sexual orintation....

kinda like sexual orintation transformers. they land, get turned on, and scan their enviroment for the behavior to mimic.

I think the opinion of most in the anti-homosexual crowd is that heterosexuality is the default for humans, and that homosexuals and bisexuals choose to stray into abominable territory. I have also heard it said that homosexuality is not necessarily a choice, and might very well be biological to some degree, but that it is nevertheless sinful and unacceptable (the old "You might not choose to be gay, but you can choose whether or not to act on it." argument). The opinions differ, but the majority of the naysayers seem to agree that heterosexuality is not a choice but rather the normal function of humans.

They can, of course, come to this thread and clear it up themselves. Just thought I'd offer my perception of their opinions.

Hey, OP. I think this is a great thread. I have heard the claims that gayness is a choice. I never really thought about that. As it pertains to me. I never made a choice. I just always knew. And I suppose gays always knew. I have a gay sister and a gay daughter. It just seemed natural to me that they were gay. But I suppose that at some point they did have to choose between being the "norm" and accepting their feelings. I am not saying they chose to become gay, but that they chose to accept they were not the norm. Thanks, OP. I will ask my beloved sister and beloved first daughter about this, like when did you first realize you were gay? I generally just accept everyone and don't ask for explanations. But this subject now intrigues me.
As for me, I didn't even understand or even think about the concept of being gay when I was 4 years old. But that summer, that cute blonde girl down the street, Karen, who was a year older than me, wearing that light flowery dress, her dirty bare feet with the cute stubby toes, took me by the hand and led me behind the forsythia bush and sat me down and told me she wanted to kiss me. And we closed our eyes and made a little peck and then I knew!! I liked girls!!! The question for me is not when I decided anything, but when did I know!!! Love to all, and Merry Christmas!!

Originally posted by DantesLost
I would like serious answers please.

This is a question that keeps coming up in threads about homosexuality and it keeps getting ignored by the very people who say that being gay is a choice.


So,if us homosexuals choose our sexuality I would like to know when you heterosexuals choose yours.

How old were you?
5? 15? 21? 35?
Have you always just known?
Were you born that way?

Did you try being gay first?
Did you experiment before making your decision?

When did you choose to let your subconscious,an uncontrollable part of the brain,think of the opposite sex in physical and emotional ways?


Inquiring minds would like to know.




[edit on 25-12-2008 by DantesLost]

I would like to add, that the term 'lifestyle' is an often used term aswell.
Do heterosexuals have the monopoly on 'lifestyles' and homosexuals only have one 'lifestyle'? gay?

Therefore, a lifestyle is a means of forging a sense of self and to create cultural symbols that resonate with personal identity. Not all aspects of a lifestyle are entirely voluntaristic. Surrounding social and technical systems can constrain the lifestyle choices available to the individual and the symbols she/he is able to project to others and the self.[2]\
en.wikipedia.org...

a 'lifestyle' seems to be based upon culture, country, social and economic wealth. Homosexualsity exist within all cultures, countries and economic statis, yet are labelled as a 'lifestyle'.

can anyone explain the term 'lifestyle' applied to homosexuality and do people really believe homosexuality is a 'lifestyle' considering what 'lifestyle' means?

Thousands of years ago when i decided to be what i was born to be by spiritual choice.

If i am to be born a female, i will do what is spiritualy required of me as a female.

If i am born a male, i will do what is spiritually required of me to be male.

(some Native American languages equalize the word "gay" to be "confused") though not all... some have them highly respected because of their confused state.

I CHOSE before i was born. Choice. Before. Birth. Forever...

I feel a little bad that some are confused in such a critical time (id spend this time a little more wisely than having my sexual urges determine my actions).

You have sooooooo much more on your plate right now than to be sidetracked by your banal urges...

Thats how a shaman of my calibur would answer your OP...

edit - having just read the whole thread, i think many of us are on the same page on this, just saying it in differing ways and perspectives...

[edit on 25-12-2008 by Grock]

I never choose to be straight either. I just am. I have been shy and uncomfortable around women in the past but I never imagined myself with another guy or like other things that are gay. I am not a homophobe as I respect people who are gay... I just can't really imagine changing my sexual orientation and being gay. I could imagine why other people would do it. But it just seems a little weird to me. .

Honestly, I never CHOSE to be straight...

I didn't choose to be gay either.

I was raised being told repeatedly that I'd grow up and have boyfriends... Go figure. I wonder how many others raise their kids telling them what their future will be like.

Interesting topic.

Originally posted by paperplanes
I think the opinion of most in the anti-homosexual crowd is that heterosexuality is the default for humans

so if you're straight your anti homosexuality?

?? how is "straightness" NOT the DEFAULT?!? there is a pretty good reason most people are not asexual. I dont have a problem with people who treat everyone like they are people. but ANYONE of ANY orientation/race/religion can be a blight on the human race.

oversexed Media and anti-social conventions play a great deal into a persons orientation. but it is MUCH more than that. You could write 20 books about the subject and you would still barely scratch the surface.

I never chose to be straight, I just am, because it feels so good. I imagine the opposing view feels good too, but that is anatomy for ya. my Ex-Fiance chose to become a lesbian after years of heavy drug use and a few engineered opportunities for more drugs "threw" her into a scene that rewarded live group voyeurism and her willingness to do ANYTHING she needed to do for more coke. I know that is the exception, and not the rule, and i am in no way saying drug use makes you gay, its just what happened in her life. I just wish i could have done more to keep her off drugs, but i guess it wasnt part of gods plan, or maybe i really did let her down by loving her and caring too much which eventually drove her away,

Think about it though, Romans had public baths, meaning, public nudity was common. they were pretty bi. (saturnalia, anyone?) now take a look at the early 1900's. when it was unheard of to see a woman's knees in public. how many people were gay then? i imagine not may because sexual imagery wasn't shoved down their throats 24/7.

for the past few decades sex has become a selling tool, and if you look at an image long enough you will want it, be it a half naked abercrombie dude or some naked chick showering and trying to push some pantine pro-v.

a much more interesting question and, imo a MUCH more valid one to be asking is a comparison to homosexuality rates as compared to the availability of sexual imagery throughout time.

has anyone ever seen a gay animal?


[edit on 26-12-2008 by drsmooth23]

I would like to thank everyone who has replied so far.

My reason for starting this thread is because i have never understood how some people can say that being gay is a choice,but then say that they didn't choose their own sexuality.

I've also never understood the argument mentioned by paperplanes,'you might not choose to be gay,but you can choose to act on it or not.' What difference does that make? I'll still be gay.I'll still find women attractive.I'll still daydream about finding that special someone and spending the rest of my life with her....what? I'm a hopeless romantic.lol.



jd140

"I thank God Almighty for titties and beer".

As do all lesbians who like to have a drink.lol.



kyred

I have a gay sister and a gay daughter. It just seemed natural to me that they were gay. But I suppose that at some point they did have to choose between being the "norm" and accepting their feelings. I am not saying they chose to become gay, but that they chose to accept they were not the norm.

Usually happens when living a lie becomes too painful and depressing.




meaguire

I would like to add, that the term 'lifestyle' is an often used term aswell. Do heterosexuals have the monopoly on 'lifestyles' and homosexuals only have one 'lifestyle'? gay?

Good question.
And what actually is a 'gay lifestyle?'




Grock

Thousands of years ago when i decided to be what i was born to be by spiritual choice.

And this isn't the case for homosexuals?
Having learnt about the Berdache tradition,I would disagree.

I feel a little bad that some are confused in such a critical time (id spend this time a little more wisely than having my sexual urges determine my actions)....

You have sooooooo much more on your plate right now than to be sidetracked by your banal urges...

Amazing how it always comes down to the physical.What of the emotional and the intellectual,why are those always ignored? And would you call falling in love banal?

Originally posted by drsmooth23

Originally posted by paperplanes
I think the opinion of most in the anti-homosexual crowd is that heterosexuality is the default for humans

so if you're straight your anti homosexuality?

Hmmm. You seem to have misread my statement. Would you mind giving it another shot?

"Most in the anti-homosexual crowd are..." does not equate to "Most heterosexuals are..."

The rest of your post is a bit convoluted (to say the least) so I'm not sure how to address it. To answer your final question: yes, homosexual behavior has been documented in hundreds of species. Biologists have posited that homosexual behavior may serve any number of purposes, from keeping population numbers in check (by providing non-reproductive outlets), to providing opportunities for mating behavior to animals who fail to find a mate of the opposite sex, to conflict resolution and reinforcement of social bonds. These are just a few of the explanations that have been suggested by the scientific community.

reply to post by paperplanes


Sorry i didn't not mean to bastardize your statement with all that, im just trying to say, that heterosexuality is indeed, the default.

as far as population control goes, im all for that, haha.

only one time have i ever seen a guy dog humping another guy dog, but in his defense he was partially blind, and that dog really liked humping, and who can blame him for that

my main point remains that sexuality has become much more complicated than evolution, and/or the instigator of it could have ever imagined. I like to play the blame game because it is pretty easy, and most media is pretty sexy....

'to each his/her own.'

[edit on 26-12-2008 by drsmooth23]

[edit on 26-12-2008 by drsmooth23]

reply to post by DantesLost



your last reply was a cop out.

"Amazing how it always comes down to the physical.What of the emotional and the intellectual,why are those always ignored? And would you call falling in love banal?"


As a highly regarded shaman/monk - yes i would.

Did you know that less that half the people in this world truelly fall in love with their soul mate?

Sex as a determining factor for my actions (love transcends btw) is so 4th grade.

Why get stuck on 4th grade when you could be at 12th or higher?

That cop out will get you stuck on levels that many of have trancended years ago.

(you bring up LOVE as your defense - let me ask you this: what is love?)

i bet you dont have an empowering answer...

If a person is bisexual, it is a choice. They are not gay, they are just horny...plain and simple, nothing more.

There are two sides to this. There are people who do make a choice to be gay. They have had such bad luck with the opposite sex, they choose to date the same sex for example. Other reasons, but there is a choice there.

Then, there is a genetic reason for it. In that case, there is no choice to be gay. However, there is a choice if they want to "cover it up".

That, is the choice they make. Do they openly accept they are gay and embrace it, or do they fight it, and live a life they will probably be unhappy with.

So I guess to clear up my answer. Anyone who is bisexual, it is a mental choice based off hormones. Then there are those who are gay by choice, based of circumstances. Once again, a mental choice. Finally, those who are gay because of genetics. There is no mental choice for being gay, but a mental choice if they want to "act" straight.