Is Tiger Woods an Alien?

Originally posted by Rudoph_x in "I'm coming clean on extraterrestrials"

"Well, proofs usually have some transcendental elements to them, so you'll never really have it all right there in front of you. In mathematical proofs that utilize Pi, for example, the truth expressed is usualy only an approximation. Like when you round off an infinite number to 2 decimals, and use is as a variable in some equation. Proofs that are not mathematical are of a different nature altogether as they seem be be decided by consensus, like in a trial by jury where evidence is given, where testimony of what witnesses saw and heard, and documents are presented, etc., and then the verdict is decided by a jury or council of judges. Certainly mathematical proof can be formulated, but only mathematicians would be capable of 'seeing' the proofs for what they are. All we (folks like us here) really can do is to consider whatever evidence we have at this point. It is unrealistic to expect any ironclad absolute proofs because we probably couldn't evalutate them even if they jumped up off the screen and bit us on the nose. Things can be put into mathematical terms, and proofs can be formulated, but these are the purview of world-class mathematicians. I don't have the funding to hire a staff of math geniuses to work on these kinds of projects. So what can I say? Give me the funding and I'll provide you with all the proofs money can buy."


And this little gem, also from Rudolph_x" I'm coming clean on extraterrestrials"
"I play a little golf from time to time, so I am familiar with some of the different types of special grasses involved in golf course architecture. Different grasses are used from fairways to greens, each having unique propteries for their intended purpose. Is it possible that perhaps some ETs with too much free time on their hands can help me out with a problem. I'm having problems putting on the greens. Could ET develop a special type of 'intelligent' grass that would make the golf ball go directly into the cup when I putt? "

It's a good thing you are around to give Sleeper someone to chat with.
Did you think I would not search your posts?
At the risk of getting a warning over this, I'm sorry but this has to be said.To say that Tiger Woods or anyone else is an alien because they just happen to be very good at what they do is ridiculous, and IMHO you are underestimating the power of a human driven to succeed in whatever they choose.Perhaps this thread was started by you out of envy for Tiger Woods?
I stated before that some sort of proof is required for an outlandish claim.What you did was duck & weave and run and hide when I asked for it.Funny how I found your "proof " statement in this reality.Unless of course there is another thread in yourdimensionthat I don't have access to.
Thank god for that.I'll stick to my reality, and you stick to yours, wherever that may be.


Still shaking my head,
AccessDenied

AD, don't be too hasty with our OP. While he may well be driven by a need to explain how Tiger Woods can be so good in the face of his own performance on the links, he could also be saying something else, even though he doesn't know he is being so obvious about it.

Now I really doubt that TW is an alien. But, I'm not so sure about the OP himself. And at the risk of DRIVING the OP from these boards, I want to get into the SWING of things and let him TRAP himself when the going gets ROUGH. In light of my thoughts that he might be an alien himself, I'll try to show how he is not up to PAR with mere humans, and how his accusations are just a way to SLICE into our species' ability.

Things to consider:

A) The OP is calling for other aliens to come to his rescue with gene altered grass. Unlike native born humans that play the game with only a few whispered prayers to a fictional Sky God, the OP seems to have a grasp of exactly who in the void can help improve his game.

B) Because he is unable to play at the level of TW, he automatically assumes that TW is an alien. This shows his belief that aliens are naturally superior to humans in games of skill, especially golf. Such a bias would lead one to think that he is pro-alien, just as Hitler thought that Germans were naturally superior when compared to other races.

C) In his delusions of adequacy, he is trying to cast doubt on the legitimacy of TW to play the game. Because he is not aware of how the human mind really works, he was not prepared for the fact that this is a classic switch technique used by criminals of Earth all the time. He was not aware how often Earthlings describe their opposition with exactly the same failures they themselves have. (Look at politicians!)

D) His offhand comments about off world courses, while meant as jest or jibe, ring true. Would a mere human be so conversant with the Martian conditions as they relate to golf? Would a mere human even take into consideration the arm length to swing ratio advantage had by some ET contestants?

In closing let me postulate that our OP is most likely some frustrated Reptilian, born off world, that thought returning to the world off his ancestors would allow him to be a top player due to what he considers "natural talent", and is now frustrated and seeking an excuse for his inability to be a real contender. I would be willing to almost bet that he has never made the cut for the Galactic Open.

'Fess up R_x !! (R_x is even a give-away in itself, as it is a form of our language meaning a prescription, and this was his way of curing his heartfelt woe at knowing he would never be as good as a human at the game of golf!)

Before we go any further I'd just like to remind everyone that since the thread is in Skunk Works a different approach should be taken towards the theory. It's best explained in the Skunk Works Guidelines thread. Just a reminder as a precaution.

It seems to me that this thread is turning into a discussion of Rudoph_x rather than the pressing question "Is Tiger Woods an Alien?"

I would say no, although as far as athletes go, I'm not sure about O.J. Simpson... I think he must have been using some sort of extraterrestrial mind-control technology on that jury in order to get himself off the murder charges.

[edit on 8/16/2007 by djohnsto77]

Thank you for pointing that out Gemwolf, but I believe I have made my point and I will move on to a different topic. AD

Originally posted by AccessDenied
Thank you for pointing that out Gemwolf, but I believe I have made my point and I will move on to a different topic. AD

Hello AccessDenied.

Thanks for your comment.

Vaya con Dios...

The link leads to Freddy Fender's version of the song. Once you get to his MySpace page, you might have to double-click on the song titled, "Vaya con Dios", if you'd like to hear it for old times sake. There are some other of Freddy's songs there to hear as well.

I should warn you that if you have a slow computer it might take a little time for the page to load and the song to play, but a nice good old Freddy Fender song is worth the wait. He started out as a Mexican crop picker, then went on to hit it big in the music business, etc. (Oh, and you might have to hit the reload button on your browser to get the page to load right.)

I got a kick out of hearing the song again after all these years. Maybe you will too?

Thanks again.

PS: Well done AD! (I never said, "Tiger Woods is an alien!" I posed the question: "Is Tiger Woods an Alien?" Big difference there. One is a statement and the other is a question.)



[edit on 8/16/2007 by Rudolph_X]

Hello NGC2736.

Thanks for your comments.

Nice post. (I took notes.) And, I'm certainly not going to argue with the likes of you.

Thanks again.

Originally posted by djohnsto77
It seems to me that this thread is turning into a discussion of Rudoph_x rather than the pressing question "Is Tiger Woods an Alien?"

I would say no, although as far as athletes go, I'm not sure about O.J. Simpson... I think he must have been using some sort of extraterrestrial mind-control technology on that jury in order to get himself off the murder charges.

[edit on 8/16/2007 by djohnsto77]

Hello djohnsto77.

Thanks for the comment.

Lose the cigarette, babe. But, I'd like a swig of whatever it is that you got in the bottle. It wouldn't happen to be the 'Elixer of the Gods', the stuff the aliens use on abductees, right before they get nasty? (They don't drink the stuff themselves, though. They just feed it to us so we'll have the energy, etc., to do the job right.)

Thanks again.

PS: I'll tell you right off the bat folks... A lot of the stuff I know about the aliens, I learned right here from the aliens on ATS. Don't think they're not posting here, because they are. Aliens are not hard to spot once you train your 'eye' to see them, etc.




[edit on 8/16/2007 by Rudolph_X]

Rudolph_x, the simple fact that you put your original post in the UFO/alien forum says a lot.Whether you are changing your opinion now means nothing to me.Neither does your affection for Freddy Fender. Not my kind of music thanx.IMHO, again you are dodging your original subject.However, since this is now in Skunkworks and not Alien UFO by all means go ahead and please tell us why you created this thread in the first place. I'm all ears.Except for Freddy Fender.PLEASE

Once again,

Please stay on topic ( Is Tiger Woods an Alien ).

If you want to discuss, avatars, drinks, music etc, use the U2U function or go to BTS, General Chit Chat.

Originally posted by elevatedone
Once again,

Please stay on topic ( Is Tiger Woods an Alien ).

If you want to discuss, avatars, drinks, music etc, use the U2U function or go to BTS, General Chit Chat.

Thank you elevatedone, I couldn't agree more.However perhaps, I should avoid this thread, I don't need a red flag.

Originally posted by elevatedone
Once again,

Please stay on topic ( Is Tiger Woods an Alien ).

If you want to discuss, avatars, drinks, music etc, use the U2U function or go to BTS, General Chit Chat.

Hello ElevatedOne.

Thanks for your comments.

You know, to get to the bottom of this issue, it requires digging deep, and sometimes touching upon what might seem (to the uninitiated) irrelevant material. However, a lot of background information is required to build up a coherent argument pro or con, regarding the topic at hand. Sometimes it is hard to tell when some of the background information which inevitably leads us to the proper conclusions are infact off topic or not. Only in hindsight, after the established fact, and not in our present state, can we be absolutely certain what is or is not relevant to our discourse. Plus, we need to be able to establish some kind of rapport with our conversants in order to gauge their level of understanding so as to take the right approach in adddressing the issues in a manner which can be understood and appreciated for what they are. So, I wouldn't be too harsh on folks just 'feeling' each other out, as folks learning to get along with each other often do, at the start of a new thread, or relationship. We've got to be able, first, to sit down at the same table (or lay down in the same bed, so to speak) in a civil manner before we can start to negotiate the ins and outs of the searing question at hand. Who, after all, is the greatest golfer in the galaxy? (And, is it the body or soul that deserves the credit?) Should we be so provincial to think that it might be one of our own? And a topic of such great depth, of such great magnitude and import as this, certainly needs to be unbounded from the narrow mind. To focus too narrowly on this subject, to set 'artificial limits of perception' on it, prevents us from seeing the larger vistas of the big picture which are required to grasp grand concepts such as these in their entirety.

Thanks again.

PS: In other words, please don't cramp my style.


[edit on 8/16/2007 by Rudolph_X]

I would say he most definately is an alien. To all those non human beings from another planet that is.

Originally posted by Neferes
I don't see how you can say that George Bush is a lizard man and then deny the plausibility that Tiger Woods is an alien.

At any rate, I have the proof that you all were asking for in regards to Tiger Woods' status as an alien.

After seeing the harsh treatment that Randolph or Rudolph or Jim or whatever the hell the OP's name is received for his psychotic...er...unconventional theories regarding Tiger Woods, I did a little research myself and found this picture. Yes, Tiger Woods is holding a man's face. He obviously ate him. He did a rather clean job of it. Looks kinda proud too. Hence, he can only be alien.

Case closed.


Signed,
Nef

Hello Nef.

Thanks for your comment.

Hey, Nef, thanks for the cool pic. (That could be why he wears the red shirts on Sundays?)



[edit on 8/16/2007 by Rudolph_X]

Originally posted by Cibai
Watch the movie.

Hello Cibai.

Thanks for your comment.

Someone should pitch it to Disney, the idea for a movie. Similar to the basketball movie, with Bugs Bunny and Porky Pig, and the 'big', I won't mention his name, basketball player, who liked to wag his tounge when he dunked the ball, who was the star of the movie. He had to join Bugs Bunny's basketball team and lead them to victory. Same (proven) formula, different star, different sport. I'm seeing $$$! (And in golf there are four rounds of golf, instead of just one game like in basketball, so there would be plenty of room for sub-plots, etc.)

Of course, in the movie, Tiger won't be the alien. His caddie Steve can play that part.

Like in those other hybrid human/cartoon combo movies Disney is famous for already... I think Tiger would make a great movie star, and golf is big enough for this kind of movie, if Disney was interested in doing it. But I ought to get a percent for coming up with the idea for it, right? (Disney has too much integrity to just go out and steal my idea, right?)

Hey, Mickey Mouse, are you listening out there?

Thanks again.


[edit on 8/17/2007 by Rudolph_X]

Originally posted by mrmanuva
I would say he most definately is an alien. To all those non human beings from another planet that is.

Hello Mrmanuval.

Thanks for your comment.

Why didn't I think of that? That's the best theory I've heard so far. I'm awarding you with the best of the best "Is Tiger Woods an Alien" accolade. Whatever that is---you got it.

Thanks again.

Actually, Jack (AKA "Tiger") is a shape-shifter looking to break his own records





[edit on 17-8-2007 by Zarniwoop]

Originally posted by Zarniwoop
Actually, Jack (AKA "Tiger") is a shape-shifter looking to break his own records

[edit on 17-8-2007 by Zarniwoop]

Hello Zarniwoop.

Thanks for your comment.

I like your idea! That is a distinct possibility.

Yeah, that's a great pic of Jack 'you the man' Nicklaus. What I like most about it is that you can clearly see how he holds the club with a closs-finger grip. The pinkey of the right hand is sort of crossed over with the index finger of the left hand, and both hands are locked in place, funcitioning as one unit.

Mr. Harry Vardon invented that style of holding the club. Jack used it well, and Tiger copied Jack, and uses the same style grip for holding the club. I also use the 'Vardon grip', as it is sometimes called, because, for me, the ball seems to fly straighter, when making straight shots. It is also a good grip because it is easy to manuver and 'work' the ball, making shots that 'hook' or 'fade' by slightly adjusting the grip, turning it either left or right. (See a PGA professsional if you need more help with your game, and take a lesson, if you can.)

Golf legend Bobby (I'm not an alien) Jones also used that grip. I think one of his famous sayings was, "I'm not an alien. I just want to play golf like one." Bobby Jones brought great integrity to the game of golf, and they dedicated the Masters Championship at Augusta, GA to him. The winner there usually gets a green jacket to go with the trophy. Now, why do you suppose the jacket is green? (A tribute to the 'Little Green Men from Mars' who help make the game what it is.)

Like I said, Tiger also uses the same way of gripping the club, using the 'Vardon grip'. So, I'm assuming that's the grip favored by most the Aliens, or at least those who have similar kinds of fingers as us. Now, aliens with the octuopuss like type fingers, (fingers with little suction cups on them) of course, grip the club in their own unique sort of way. To each his own. What matters is that you are comfortable in the way you hold the club.

Thanks again.


[edit on 8/17/2007 by Rudolph_X]

Originally posted by Omega85
Argh,

Not another one.....

Deny Ignorance
Omega

Hello Omega85.

Thanks for your comment.

Your avatar is too frightening for me to properly respond to your post. It sort of makes me weak in the knees from fear. (Can you hear them knocking?).

Usually what happens when folks are so deeply intimidated by the presence of some stately imposing figure, they fall to their knees, like subjects usually do when confronted by their Kings or Queens, and dumbfounded they cannot speak or even stutter a word. Only when they are told by their Regent to "arise Sir (given name)", etc., and have their new title, do they have the courage to rise and speak, royally having been granted authority to do so.

Thanks again.


[edit on 8/17/2007 by Rudolph_X]

Originally posted by Rudolph_X

Like I said, Tiger also uses the same way of gripping the club, using the 'Vardon grip'. So, I'm assuming that's the grip favored by most the Aliens, or at least those who have similar kinds of fingers as us. Now, aliens with the octuopuss like type fingers, (fingers with little suction cups on them) of course, grip the club in their own unique sort of way. To each his own. What matters is that you are comfortable in the way you hold the club.

Thanks again.

[edit on 8/17/2007 by Rudolph_X]

I didn't know Tiger used the Vardon grip ...probably because he started golfing when he was three or four ( You don't see too many people using that grip any more). I've tried it, but it just seems so alien to me.

I just got home from a nice after-work 9. Striking the ball well, but had one blow-up hole and a few 3-putts (45... yikes!)

Never took a lesson, but perhaps I should find an PGA-lien and invest in a few

- Cheers!