rape prevention , by " teaching men not to rape " a concept ?

eletheia
reply to post by EarthCitizen07

 

So therefor that does away with the reasons put forward for rape?? eg.

# Provocative clothing?

# Being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

# Slutty behaviour? (what ever that may be ...LOL)

# Having too much to drink?

Seems as if some men just feel an entitlement!?

No, I disagree! There is no sure factor in life. All you can do is mitigate the risks. There are plenty of a)naive women out there that take too much for granted because of slack parenting and thus fall easy victims or b)act in a promiscuous manner and then blame everyone else.

reply to post by EarthCitizen07




I see you are speaking from an American pov. I am from the UK and very few

people have guns .... also, many don't have a choice to pick where they live,

unfortunately 'social housing' doesn't give a choice ... making ones personal

finances the deciding factor in where one lives, and that should not make it a

reason for one being more liable to getting raped!

Maybe it needs spelling out to some people that it's the attitudes of some that think women being or dressing like a 'slut' is part of the problem. So is telling women where they can go and what times.
A woman should not be curfewed especially on her home ground.

reply to post by EarthCitizen07






Hmmmmnn..... Looks to me like you're one of the "She asked for it" brigade

"Provocative" is subjective - one man's provocative is another's charming or

glamorous.

eletheia
reply to post by EarthCitizen07

 

Hmmmmnn..... Looks to me like you're one of the "She asked for it" brigade

"Provocative" is subjective - one man's provocative is another's charming or

glamorous.

I guess you dont know the meaning of BOTH men and women are responsible for their appearance and conduct. When rape happens its not always a black and white issue, thats why courts exist and cases get tried. To determine a verdict and a penalty, if one should be applied. But hell who needs that right?

Sometimes women do ask for it. Its not that often though. And women do rape men as well. Men rape men, women rape women. This is the real world, not mommys basement bs!!

So sick of this its always the mans fault. Go live in saudi arabai or pakistan and come back tell us how well you have it in the uk and usa which is a female dominated society.

reply to post by EarthCitizen07


Hey EC,

I lived in the Middle East for a few years. I have studied quite a bit on that culture, and trust me, women are their property. If I can control what you do, where you go, who you marry, and if you live, then that pretty much sums up ownership. It might be a pleasant slavery, but it's slavery nonetheless. It all depends on your cage I guess.

It is also about culture, but trust me, lots of women get raped over there and they dare not speak of it because it's obviously her fault and she made him do it. Sort of like if a foreigner gets into a car wreck there it's automatically their fault cause if they weren't in the country it would not have happened even if you are parked and the Arab runs into you!

The men like their rules, they like their power, and frankly are not going to do anything to stop it. Women do not want to be tarnished or killed so they shut up. The women are still traumatized by it, and yet that is their lot in life.

I really don't think we can address rape here vs. rape there. For the guy who brought up old women getting raped and their sexy clothes obviously did not have anything to do with it, all I can say is try to keep with the topic. Those women were not out on a date asking or acting like they wanted anything. Criminal rapists broke in and took what they wanted. That is not the same scenario.

Rape changes women. I don't know if it changes men, but all I can say is men, look at your mother, your wife, your daughters and think if you want to see them changed by this. If you don't then be honest particularly with your girls. Tell them the truth, empower them to say no, and to show some self respect. Most of all show them you are always there for them and you love them no matter what. There is no love like that of a father for his daughter, and that more than anything might give her the power to be the woman you dream she may become!

reply to post by Merlynn


Again, another sad case of stranger rape. I am very sorry for what happened to you and damn proud you fought him, but what happened to you is NOT what I am talking about. You were not doing anything odd, and you were not knowingly in a bad area. So, please don't think what I am speaking of is directed at you.

Do you think it is wise for a girl who just met a guy and sets up a date to go to his bedroom? I mean, he says, "oh, I forgot my keys, come on in while I grab them"? I am saying use your darn head! You don't know him, and even my sorority sisters did know their friend for 3 years and he raped her when she went to his room.

I am a mother and I have three girls who I will teach, protect, and damn well make sure they are not stupid and put themselves into a bad situation.

I wonder though after your event, did you run anymore? Would you stop to talk to a strange guy? Did you carry anything with you? Most rapists tell what they look for...

A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim. Here are some interesting facts :

1) The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun, braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.

2) The second thing men look for is clothing . They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around specifically to cut clothing.

3) They also look for women on their cell phone, searching through their purse, or doing other activities while walking because they are off-guard and can be easily overpowered.

4) Men are most likely to attack & rape in the early morning, between 5:00 a.m. And 8:30 a.m.

5) The number one place women are abducted from/attacked is grocery store parking lots . Number two: Are office parking lots/garages. Number three: Are public restrooms.

6) The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to another location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.

7) Only 2% said they carried weapons because rape carries a 3-5 year sentence but rape with a weapon is 15-20 years.

8) If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.

9) These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas , or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands. Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.

10) Several defense tactics he taught us are: If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: "I can't believe it is so cold out here," "we're in for a bad winter." Now you've seen their face and could identify them in a line-up; you lose appeal as a target.

11) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell STOP or STAY BACK! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.

12) If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes), yell I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.

source

reply to post by taoistguy


Hey, dress however you want, go where ever you want, and when your a** gets raped don't say you were not warned. My God people, having the right doesn't make it smart. I have the right of free speech and would it be smart to go into downtown Harlem and Yell " I HATE N*****" ? (Dear God please know this is an example and not how I feel! I'm trying to make a point here.)

I might get my sweet white a** beat to # and guess what? No one is going to defend me. How is it that common sense rules in everything else but rape?



I should be able to go to my car at night, but why is it women are recommended not to go shopping at night or out into a parking lot by themselves? Do you know how many women get assaulted, raped, kidnapped in such places? It's not their fault, but you can bet I am going to teach my daughters to use their darn heads.

Do you think telling this sort of guy not to rape is going to matter? It's like telling criminals in Chicago not to shoot each other... really?!

reply to post by UnifiedSerenity


My point was other people who knew still felt like I put myself in harm's way (blaming the victim is so typical, specially a woman victim). And yes putting yourself it situations alone with someone you don't know very well, not smart. Watch Criminal Minds and you'll learn new reasons to be afraid of people.

reply to post by Merlynn


Oh, I'm sure that did happen, but sometimes in some situations much like what I witness of how sexual young girls are acting today, how can people be shocked when a boy / man thinks they want it. I have seen 2nd graders twerking before school! It's disgusting and guess where they learned it!

My condolences to you my friend, and I have my own stories to tell. I don't pull punches with my girls. Women need to be a lot smarter. If girls want free easy sex, fine. But if girls don't, then don't act like a whore.

UnifiedSerenity

My condolences to you my friend, and I have my own stories to tell. I don't pull punches with my girls. Women need to be a lot smarter. If girls want free easy sex, fine. But if girls don't, then don't act like a whore.

Thats the moral of the story. Act the way you feel and what you wish to accomplish. Dont lead someone on and then get shocked if someone gets the wrong message, then file a lawsuit to get that person in trouble, slander his name, etc.

I am glad you are teaching your kids proper behavior.

Of course there are also the hardcore offenders whom will rape anyone and for any reason. These people do belong in jail. Its a no brainer!

reply to post by EarthCitizen07

Sometimes women do ask for it.

Please, provide a single example of when a woman could be asking for rape. An example of someone who is at fault because someone else decided it was ok to force themselves on her. An example of a time when a woman could say 'no', and a man could say 'too bad', and that is the woman's fault.


You are a prime example of why this education in needed.

I think that Culture plays a huge part in rape.

I found a disturbing example from SA. India, I believe, is another Country with a problem.

It goes to show you that some people really need to be bred out of the gene pool in order for heinous acts like rape to drastically decline.
news.sky.com...

captaintyinknots
reply to post by EarthCitizen07

 

Sometimes women do ask for it.

Please, provide a single example of when a woman could be asking for rape. An example of someone who is at fault because someone else decided it was ok to force themselves on her. An example of a time when a woman could say 'no', and a man could say 'too bad', and that is the woman's fault.


You are a prime example of why this education in needed.

When a women goes out of her way to lead on a man and at the last moment changes her mind. Could be alcholol or drugs involved or confusion on her part. It could also be a slander attempt on purpose.

When they are in bed and its taken for granted they both like each other. I have been turned down during the kissing part but not after that. And I am not one who forces sex so save me your loaded opinions. In fact relationships need their time to advance naturally. But the one night stands are different and risky.

reply to post by UnifiedSerenity


In male dominated societies there is more tolerance towards "rape" but it still doesn't make it acceptable or legal. In other words the laws are much more conservative and fewer rapists get caught. The positive side is there is less slandering.

In western societies especially usa and uk which tend to be female dominated(some call it equality), the laws against rape are much stricter with virtually no gray areas in between. Well there are some, but not many.

Different cultures, different outlooks, different laws, etc.

Regardless you are doing your daughters a great favor in teaching them self responsiblity and street smarts. It will potentially save them headaches in the future.

Personally, I feel if you have a daughter or daughters, and you don't get them martial arts training at the very least, I think you are pretty nuts. When I had my nieces I had them in martial arts and knife training. Also taught them to shoot every gun in the house that they could handle. Obviously wasn't letting them shoot any of my shoulder cannons lol. I guess the same thing should go for your sons, as a parent, I find it negligent to not make sure they know how to defend themselves.

It's also a great way to help teach respect for their bodies, and respect for others as well.

reply to post by EarthCitizen07

When a women goes out of her way to lead on a man and at the last moment changes her mind. Could be alcholol or drugs involved or confusion on her part.

Pretty much as I expected. Hate to break it to ya, but even if the act of intercourse has already begun, if one partner says 'stop', and the other partner refuses, that is rape.

No ifs, ands or buts.

. It could also be a slander attempt on purpose.

I assume you mean a false accusation of rape? How does that mean a person asked for it?

When they are in bed and its taken for granted they both like each other.

So partaking in any sexual activity means the woman now HAS to have sex? She has no choice? What planet are you on?

I have been turned down during the kissing part but not after that.

Ok? What does this have to do with anything?

And I am not one who forces sex so save me your loaded opinions.

Im sure...except when she is asking for it, right? Honestly, you really are a prime example of why this education is needed. You go out of your way to defend rapists, to justify it, to blame a victim, then follow up with "but i wouldnt force anyone". YOU are part of the problem. YOU are part of the culture that causes all of this. I hope you dont have a son, and if you do, I really hope you dont teach him that "its ok to rape a girl, if shes asking for it".

Frankly, if I had any idea who you really were, i would turn this conversation over to the authorities. Yours is a predatory attitude.

In fact relationships need their time to advance naturally. But the one night stands are different and risky.

Sure they are. That still NEVER gives anyone a right to rape someone.

Please everyone, stop wearing seat belt when driving your cars. Its the other guy's fault if you go thru the windshield during an accident. You are Not responsible!

Spread the info!

Nice logic there!


The problem is soo many young women are being told whatever you do is not your responsibility, that is what is wrong with today's society. Telling someone they are void of responsibility for their actions if something happens.

There are Serial Killer, Thieves, Hit-man, Bullies and Rapist..... pick you poison or be responsible for yourself. You cant fix these, blaming normal people for it just going to make you look stupid.

If i wear gold chains, flashing money on hands, walking thru a neighborhood at 2 am that is known to be high in crime and has gang handouts.... i will get robbed, whether is a criminal activity and its the fault of the robbers... i made wrong choice going thru there thus i am partially responsible for what happens.

reply to post by captaintyinknots


You really come across rude and obtuse. I am not going to beat a dead horse anymore when I made my positions clear time and time again. You and others want to guilt-trip people into submission and frankly I had enough.

reply to post by captaintyinknots

but even if the act of intercourse has already begun, if one partner says 'stop', and the other partner refuses, that is rape.

laughable, still gonna scream not responsible after going thru the process?

The mindset like this is the problem nowadays. These "rapes" actually make the real rape loose its value.

Encourage more women to fake the "rape"... slept with the wrong guy at the party? embarrassed? your boyfriend found about your cheating? solve your troubles away, call it "rape".

But whatever, keep enforcing it, it will only make real one less important and soon come back to bite when the real disgusting one happens.

people going to be like "oh rape, i see.. okay.. Next!"