Originally posted by Charmed707
Originally posted by paxnatus
Tell me something, In may case, where I awoke to find the attacker crouched at the foot of my bed, what could I have done.
I mentioned AVOIDING certain situations. This involves logical decision making. Obviously you can't consciously avoid a stranger breaking in while
you're sleeping. I guess it's too much to expect people to be able to tell the difference between being aggressively victimized and walking into a
Being the victim of rape most certainly is glamorized...and it's sickening. There are T-shirts that say something along the lines of 'I was raped'.
You always hear the term 'rape survivor', when no one has ever died from being raped. Rape is a violent act that often puts one in a dangerous,
life-threatening position- but I rarely hear the term 'assault survivor' or 'robbery survivor'. 'Rape survivor' is used so often that it has become a
cliche. Victims of rape are emphasized much more than victims of other crimes. Being a 'rape survivor' certainly seems the en vogue thing to be in
these current times.
I'm sorry, but I felt I had to step in here and voice my opinion.
Situational awareness and all, putting yourself in *any* position is NOT
silent nor tacit approval to permit a rape. Certainly "common sense"
can be used to berate or fault, or partially blame a "victim" for being in a bad place at a bad time. Since the person is in the wrong place at the
wrong time, this somehow makes it ok for them to be violated? Really?
Perhaps a nearly empty parking lot after the mall has closed and you lingered to long to talk to a friend? A long, lonely walk to your car, and you
haplessly become a "victim".
The reason I used "victim" in quotes is for a purpose.
"Victimization" is a word that a "survivor" of a life changing event CHOOSES
to not use. The word SURVIVOR
denotes the mental and
psychological position the woman, man, or child has chosen to take a stand about their personal convitiction
on the matter.
Do you really not understand this?
Choosing to not be a "victim", but to be a "survivor" is for the person affected, not you and your high and mighty opinion of how they should act or
behave, and if they placed themselves in a bad position or not. That is not now, not ever, your decision. Only your opinion, and you can see how
popular that is. It's good though, that you have never been a "victim". This much is obvious, else you would not have this attitude.
Because, regardless of where that person was, the circumstances that surrounded the event were deeply personal, and choosing the outcome of surviving
and moving forward to be a stronger person in SPITE of it is what matters.
Choosing to be a victim means allowing yourself to continuously feel berated and undervalued, to re-live and suffer, to be re-victimized every time
you have to walk a dark parking lot alone again.
Strong women, men, and children choose to not be a victim over and over, and there is NO
glory in being a rape victim. There is strength and
courage and conviction, however, in be a rape survivor.
Again, this is for the person living through it, not for YOU. This is what you seem to
not be able to comprehend.
I was raped at gunpoint. I did what I could to save my life. I will not *ever* stand for anyone to even hint it was my fault, that I was in the wrong
place at the wrong time, and I am not a victim. I survived. No thanks to you or your opinions. But it is in spite of people like that, that wish to
taunt victims, that I will *NEVER* wear that label.
I too, am a rape SURVIVOR
. I am also a burn survivor.
I am also a rape counselor.
edit on 20-8-2012 by Libertygal because: typo