reply to post by smyleegrl
Smyleegirl, I'm sorry for what you experienced, but proud of you for sharing, and dealing with it. You are a strong women, and in my opinion just
about all women are mentally tougher than men.
I agree with almost everything you put there, except for the "rape is not sex."
I agree that the victim is the victim of a violent assault, and it has nothing to do with sex. However, for the attacker, the notion that it is only
about control and power is absurd and it infuriates me to have to argue the point over and over. Not your fault, because there is a lot of
psychological opinion and publication out there, but they all fail to recognize the glaring error in their thinking...... SEX!
If it was just about power and control, maybe they would kidnap, maybe they would force them to dance, maybe they would force them to learn the piano,
maybe they would marry them and control every aspect of their life, maybe they would spin them around in an office chair until they puke....... but
once they have sex, it is about sex. Sure, there is an aspect of power and control, as there are in most things, but it is not the driving force
behind all rapes.
Also, Smyleegirl, you don't have to address this issue if you're uncomfortable with it, but when we say "it is not about sex" it can be damaging
to women (especially young women), who had some physical reaction of enjoyment. It is not their fault. Just like men can be aroused and raped
without any consent or desire, many women also experience those same physical reactions, but all the "experts
" are telling them that it
isn't about sex, and so it compounds their guilt.
If someone is forcibly attacked and raped, it is no fault of their own, it wasn't their skirt, or their hair, or their perfume, it wasn't because
they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. It is 100% the fault of the attacker, and it is abhorrent, and inhumane, but it certainly is about
sex in some way, shape, or form, because if it wasn't they would choose another form of attack.
I've mentioned this on many threads, but I know a lot of women that have been sexually assaulted in some minor ways, and a few women that have been
forcibly raped. In fact, I have a cousin that was kidnapped in a grocery store parking lot, by a stranger, taken into a remote area, raped
repeatedly, and then eventually abandoned. She survived, retained a lot of details of her attacker, eventually helped to get him arrested, and then
went on to become a cop and detective herself! I think the numbers are a lot higher than 1 in 8 women. I think it is an ongoing tragedy, and I think
it is multi-pronged, and I don't think anyone in psychology, sociology, or law enforcement is addressing the big picture in the correct or most