The Truth About Rape

page: 4
105
<< 1  2  3    5  6  7 >>

log in

join

posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 08:56 PM
link   

Originally posted by phroziac
False accusations of rape are incredibly common, and if you have consensual sex with a woman and she. Ries rape, then wtf? What do you do then? How do you win? I [had sex with] a psycho once and she insisted i raped her. never went to the cops but said she would.....

Its incredibly common.
edit on 20/8/12 by masqua because: Profanity

Star to you as this issue is harder to breach than the rape issue.
Men can be victims as well, women can cry foul too.
This is another truth on rape that not many have the guts to speak about.




posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 09:01 PM
link   

Originally posted by getreadyalready

There is a difference between risk management and placing blame.


This is the truth. It seems the definition of 'placing blame' to many is advising against making stupid, reckless decisions.


Don't pass out drunk at someone's house, don't let foreplay go so far that you can't get it stopped, don't let yourself be coerced into something you'll regret later, don't feel like you have to have sex to be valuable to someone, etc., etc.


That's the type of thing I'm talking about. I'm not referring to basically being in the wrong place at the wrong time.



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 09:15 PM
link   

Originally posted by Charmed707

Originally posted by LightAssassin

Shame on those who think the fault lies anywhere with the woman.


There ARE certain behaviors one can avoid to prevent being on the receiving end of a rape. To pretend otherwise is NOT good for the welfare of naive young girls who have yet to develop a good sense of rationality. I'll be so glad when victimhood is no longer en vogue.


Will you now? Let's just hope a rape does not occur to someone whom is very close to you. Tell me something,
In may case, where I awoke to find the attacker crouched at the foot of my bed, what could I have done.

Here is my story, enlighten me please! above top secret
For the love of God!
I am glad people like Smlyeegrl, myself and many others who call ourselves rape survivors will not be swayed by such an ignorant post that would claim "you will be glad when victim hood is no longer en vogue". Before you go on espousing to something you obviously no nothing about, I hope you take some good hard advice! YES! It can happen to you too!!! Don't think yourself above it!! Educate yourself a LOT!!!

I give talks to teenagers and young adults constantly on this subject, and that is rule number one. You are very
naive, among other things that i could say but i wont!!!

Pax



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 09:18 PM
link   

Originally posted by g146541

Originally posted by phroziac
False accusations of rape are incredibly common, and if you have consensual sex with a woman and she. Ries rape, then wtf? What do you do then? How do you win? I [had sex with] a psycho once and she insisted i raped her. never went to the cops but said she would.....

Its incredibly common.
edit on 20/8/12 by masqua because: Profanity

Star to you as this issue is harder to breach than the rape issue.
Men can be victims as well, women can cry foul too.
This is another truth on rape that not many have the guts to speak about.


Well as a woman, I have the guts to speak about it. The Duke Rape case is a perfect example. One women who tried to destroy many lives. And that case is not alone in the very harsh reality that women do cry wolf and ruin men's lives.

Accepting that reality does not diminish the other reality that men and women are victims of rape and that it is a horrible crime and life altering experience.

The best thing we as women (and men too) can do for ourselves from this moment on and every day we breathe life....is learn self defense and be armed, be very aware of our surroundings, and always be in control of yourself (im an advocate of never getting drunk and never taking drinks - even water from strangers at a bar/club, etc). I dont believe women (or men) "ask for it", but I believe in some instances, women make very bad decisions and put themselves in horrible situations where they are unable to control the hideous actions of others. Again, that is NOT placing the blame on women. It is a cry for women (and men) to be CAREFUL at all times. Make wise and safe decisions always.

I have to admit....im more afraid of the everyday stranger out there than I am of the government. Ive gone over 30 years w/out the government EVER harming me. Yet ive had people I personally know and even strangers do far more harm to me than the government ever will.

Self control (in control over ourselves at all times). Self protection (learning self defense, martial arts, using a weapon....and our smarts). Awareness (of those around us, the surroundings - dont walk in a dark alley alone). All things we need to exercise daily.

Hopefully the women out there did not take what I said wrong....



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 09:25 PM
link   

Originally posted by paxnatus
reply to post by Heresy
 


You are dead wrong!!! As a survivor myself of brutal rape, I can tell you this has nothing at all to do with sex!
Rape is about violence pure and simple!! It is about terrorizing the victim, humiliating them and making them feel
powerless! Sex indicates pleasure of some sort as in physical pleasure. There is no sex involved in rape.

You are missing one major point with your argument. We are not animals, we are humans and that sets us a part. You do not see in any specie, the male beating the crap out of the female to overpower her. You do not see animals drugging their prey. Do not compare animals to humans in this instance, it makes you look ridiculous.

Rape is also a hate crime. It is violating someones security at the deepest level. As far as your misguided evolutionary theory goes, it doesn't hold up. As humans we are given a conscience and a mind to reason right from wrong, from a moral standpoint. Animals do not have this same ability.

Call it what it is, A VIOLENT CRIME!!!


Being a survivor of rape doesn't give you any idea as to what the motive is for the rapist. What the ordeal meant to YOU, and what the ordeal meant to HIM are two completely different things. It's fairly obvious you don't have any idea as to the man's motivation because you said the following thing:

"Sex indicates pleasure of some sort as in physical pleasure. There is no sex involved in rape. "

Which, by your own definition, rape IS sex. A rapist WILL be experiencing pleasure while raping women. To him it's sex. Just because it's violent and traumatizing to YOU doesn't mean that's why he is doing it. He's doing it to get sexual pleasure.

Even during consensual sex often times men don't care about the woman's pleasure or emotional feelings. They are just having sex to have sex, not to be close with someone, not to bond, there is none of the emotional attachment that women give to sex. This is the very reason that women don't think sex is a part of rape, because their idea of sex is very different than a man's.

Sex is far more emotional for women, and far more physical for men. A woman would assume rape is about power, control, humiliation, etc because to her sex has such a deep emotional aspect to it. She isn't experiencing any good emotions as a result of the rape, therefore to her it's not sex.

But SHE is not the one initiating the rape, the man is, against her will, hence what makes it rape. Which means the man's motives are what define rape, and the man's motives in the majority of cases is simple sex. No doubt there are a few cases of masochists or other similar types that the act of rape itself is what they like. They enjoy inflicting pain on other, watching them suffer, etc. But this is not the majority.

Take for instance date rape. Most of the times the women is not even awake while being raped. The man doesn't inflict any violence on her (other than the penetration itself) the man is not watching her suffer, the woman doesn't even know what's going on, and the man wants to keep it that way. He does NOT want the woman to know she was raped.

Which means to him it's simply about sex. He wants it, can't get it, so he has sex with a woman against her will. If it was about power, control, and inflicting pain and suffering then he wouldn't drug her up. He would want her to be conscious to experience suffering. He doesn't do that though, because his goal is not to inflict pain or suffering, his goal is simply to experience the pleasure of having sex.

I'll repeat that just because someone was raped doesn't give them any more authority to say what rape is or the motive of the rapist. I'll give an example.

Say an arsonist burns down a business. The victim of the arson doesn't necessarily know the motive of the arsonist. The arsonist might have been trying to kill the victim. Might have been trying to destroy evidence. Might have just set the fire because they like setting fires, and there was nothing more to it.

None of this is to be construed as me defending anything having to do with rape. I think it's arguably THE worst possible crime imaginable, possibly worse than murder, because the victim lives on. Someone who is murdered is dead, they aren't suffering. Someone who is raped will suffer the rest of their life, which is why I think it's even worse than murder.

I just don't understand why so many people refuse to admit that, for the rapist, most of the time rape is simply about sex. There are exceptions of course. I just don't understand the resistance. Does it somehow make it worse if the rapist is doing it for sexual gratification instead of other reasons? I'd really like to understand the resistance to the idea, if anyone could explain it to me.



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 09:32 PM
link   
Thank you for a exceptional thread SG.

Rape sadly always reduces to "girls who cried wolf" discussions on ATS which is a minority circumstance and distracts from the rife examples of depowerment women (mostly) are subjected to. Further hating on women that I am tired of reading.

I hope your thread manages to stay on track with what this awful violent crime does to men, women and children.

It is something no one should have to live through.

I mourn for that the day will never arrive, that a woman can dress, drink or do as she pleases with out the fear of someone else violently attacking her.
If women want to wear a short skirt, it is sad, they cannot. And if she does, then she "asked" to be raped. What a despicable, antiquated concept, perhaps if we just sit in Burquas all day we wont encourage any violence towards us.
And look how well that "cover up empowering" technique has worked for women, see, its not about whether we are covered or not, it is the fact that someone tries to overpower you to take what they want. It doesn't matter if women are in burqaus or miniskirts, till attitudes towards individual rights are addressed it will happen regardless of the dress, its not about asking for anything, its about having something taken.

After all it appears from reading here, it is a womans' responsibility to not make herself attractive to rape. Rather than educating people on the rights of others.


Rape often occurs by someone they know anyway and not the dark stranger in the club. It is a violent crime. It is not sex.

I have been reading these ideas for decades, and deeply deeply mourn that that fallacy will never be broken.
edit on 20-8-2012 by zazzafrazz because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 09:36 PM
link   
reply to post by smyleegrl
 


I agree with everything you said. Funny, cause normally I just don't agree with anybody says regarding rape, because there's some emotional argument attached to skewered facts.

Now you've shared your experience with us, that takes courage, but I would have even agreed had you not had that anecdotal evidence to provide


Sexual assault is a common sense sort of a crime. It's heinous, no matter the circumstance or the parties involved. The victim is never to blame as consenting sex is not rape, so if you were forced into sex, that's not consent, not your fault is it?

People who cry rape falsely however, deserve no respect and should be subject to the same harsh punishment that rapists should get.

One of my big problems with the whole issue of rape, is that we do have a culture of jailing people instead of attempting to reform people. Our prisons don't create productive members of society. They make super criminals.

The prisons are like breeding grounds for the underworld these days. Although I do not sympathize with rapists, I do think that probably a good portion of them can be reformed, as to not be rapists anymore.

Certainly not all of the, maybe not even the majority, but any human life saved is a win.

~Tenth
edit on 8/20/2012 by tothetenthpower because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 09:42 PM
link   

Originally posted by smyleegrl
I’ve been diagnosed as having severe anxiety, major depressive disorder, and Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. I will have to deal with this for my entire life; as must all survivors of violent crime.


Just wanted to come in and say that you don't have to deal with these things for the rest of your life - and i'm not referring to taking drugs to mask the emotions, or spending hours "talking" about the trauma - thus reinforcing the negative emotions.

Lookup neurofeedback and how efficent it is at treating PTSD, anxiety and depression.


(i'm 33 sessions into my treatment for PTSD, anxiety and depression)



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 09:42 PM
link   

Originally posted by paxnatus

Tell me something, In may case, where I awoke to find the attacker crouched at the foot of my bed, what could I have done.


I mentioned AVOIDING certain situations. This involves logical decision making. Obviously you can't consciously avoid a stranger breaking in while you're sleeping. I guess it's too much to expect people to be able to tell the difference between being aggressively victimized and walking into a situation.


Being the victim of rape most certainly is glamorized...and it's sickening. There are T-shirts that say something along the lines of 'I was raped'. You always hear the term 'rape survivor', when no one has ever died from being raped. Rape is a violent act that often puts one in a dangerous, life-threatening position- but I rarely hear the term 'assault survivor' or 'robbery survivor'. 'Rape survivor' is used so often that it has become a cliche. Victims of rape are emphasized much more than victims of other crimes. Being a 'rape survivor' certainly seems the en vogue thing to be in these current times.



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 09:49 PM
link   
reply to post by smyleegrl
 


Good thread, Im sorry you had to endure what you did. I hope you find strength and continue on educating the incredibly stupid.

Im glad you whooped his ass like sea bass..wish I was around....I would have helped you bury him.....

There are few things that anger me quickly in this world......rapes one of them...I hold no quarter for rapers and molesters.....I just as soon find a tree and some rope.



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 09:50 PM
link   

Originally posted by Charmed707

Originally posted by paxnatus

Tell me something, In may case, where I awoke to find the attacker crouched at the foot of my bed, what could I have done.


I mentioned AVOIDING certain situations. This involves logical decision making. Obviously you can't consciously avoid a stranger breaking in while you're sleeping. I guess it's too much to expect people to be able to tell the difference between being aggressively victimized and walking into a situation.


Being the victim of rape most certainly is glamorized...and it's sickening. There are T-shirts that say something along the lines of 'I was raped'. You always hear the term 'rape survivor', when no one has ever died from being raped. Rape is a violent act that often puts one in a dangerous, life-threatening position- but I rarely hear the term 'assault survivor' or 'robbery survivor'. 'Rape survivor' is used so often that it has become a cliche. Victims of rape are emphasized much more than victims of other crimes. Being a 'rape survivor' certainly seems the en vogue thing to be in these current times.


.... when no one has ever died from being raped..

Such ignorance.

People do die after being raped, and while being raped - due to being murdered. It's a common occurrence and both crimes stem from the same type of control issues the attacker has.

Furthermore the emotional damage that being raped can cause on a woman, can lead to suicide.

There's nothing glamorous about being victimized, and rape is a common crime. Annually 1 in 1000 women will be raped, so over a generation of women 10% of them will end up being raped.



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 09:55 PM
link   
A close friend I know thought I would take her side after this happened : Let a man go down on her. LET HIM. Then, she claims she didn't want to have sex, so he raped her. Did she incite him? I want to hear your answer.
edit on 20-8-2012 by Vandettas because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 10:01 PM
link   
reply to post by Vandettas
 


If she consented to oral sex, then she consented to oral sex.

If she said no to him sticking his man-wand into her woman-cave, and he still did it anyways, then he raped her.

How's that hard to figure out?

What your proposing is that it's ok to force another person into coitus based on said person willingly engaging in other actions. If you really believe that, then let's go out for drinks and i'll slam one down your brown hole later, because you willingly went out with me for a drink.
edit on 20-8-2012 by Evil_Santa because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 10:02 PM
link   
reply to post by Charmed707
 


Sorry mate but I cannot conceive of a single situation where a woman isn't allowed to back out.

Why?

Because there are none.

If the guy is suffering so bad from blue balls after being 'teased' or 'aroused' by the behaviour of a woman even though she has denied wanting sex then......

GO TO THE TOILET AND RELEASE THE LOAD.

There are no excuses for rape. NONE.

edit on 20-8-2012 by LightAssassin because: (no reason given)



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 10:03 PM
link   

Originally posted by Vandettas
A close friend I know thought I would take her side after this happened : Let a man go down on her. LET HIM. Then, she claims she didn't want to have sex, so he raped her. Did she incite him? I want to hear your answer.
edit on 20-8-2012 by Vandettas because: (no reason given)


There are probably many women who will have oral sex, but do not want penetration, for varying reasons. If she said no, and he persisted, its still rape , in my opinion.

So if some woman lets a man fondle her breasts, is that inticing him to rape , if that is all she consents to?



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 10:05 PM
link   
Any man that rapes a woman should be castrated then have the word b**** tattooed on his forehead and thrown into general population in the prison.

2nd



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 10:08 PM
link   

Originally posted by Evil_Santa

.... when no one has ever died from being raped..



People do die after being raped, and while being raped - due to being murdered.


You do realize the major difference in those statements, right? 'From' does not have the same meaning as 'after' and 'while'. I can't believe I even have to explain this.

People are murdered while or after being assaulted or robbed. Rape 'survivors' are not worthy of more sympathy or praise than victims of other violent crimes, yet they are put on a pedestal.


Furthermore the emotional damage that being raped can cause on a woman, can lead to suicide.


There are a LOT of things that are emotionally damaging. Why not call anyone who has been the victim of a violent crime, lost their home, lost a loved one, or gone through a bad breakup a 'survivor'?


There's nothing glamorous about being victimized


I'm not the one who thinks there is. It's the media and feminists who glamorize it.



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 10:09 PM
link   
post removed for serious violation of ATS Terms & Conditions



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 10:10 PM
link   

Originally posted by Charmed707


I'm not the one who thinks there is. It's the media and feminists who glamorize it.


ORLY, where is this feminist glamorisation of rape agenda, DO tell.



posted on Aug, 20 2012 @ 10:14 PM
link   
reply to post by LightAssassin
 


errrr

*splutters

ummm
Lucky Mrs Assassin





new topics
top topics
 
105
<< 1  2  3    5  6  7 >>

log in

join