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Let me also add, that even one week at a gym will make you feel like a stud!
Originally posted by mossme89
I'm somewhat socially awkward. Nothing too bad, but lots of little things that end up offending people or making them dislike me. I'm not sure how to fix these things. My biggest issues come in my sociology class, which I refer to as my "shady" class, because there's a lot of shady looking people in there and types I wouldn't otherwise affiliate myself with. I don't know why because I'm always nice to them, and my opinions of the class don't change how i treat them, but they seem to find a lot of issues with many of the things I say or my mannerisms and are very quick to judge.
-Today I was working in a group with a few african american people and I said "so what do you people want to do?" They found me saying "you people" offensive. I just don't get how that's offensive. It's one thing if I say a racist name, it's another thing to say something like this. I don't see how the words "you" and "people" are offensive.
-I have ADHD and have a hard time sitting still. Sometimes while working in groups, I'm standing up and walking around when talking to people. That's just me, I work best when I'm moving around and thinking and many times don't even realize i'm doing this. But my group members said they found this intimidating.
-My teacher sometimes gives me a hard time because while she's talking, she says I stare at her. I don't do this intentionally but sometimes stare off when I'm thinking.
-I'm an introvert and my group sometimes gives me a hard time because I'm not constantly talking like they are. They say I'm not contributing. I mean, I do. I'm just not constantly talking.
-There's this one girl in my group who seems to find fault with much of what I do and what I mentioned above, moreso than others. I'm sitting on my chair wrong, I'm not talking enough, I'm standing up too much, etc. I don't know why, but she has an attitude towards me and doesn't like me. Then again, she has an attitude in general so I'm not sure if it's just me.
It's little things like this that make people judge me and dislike me. I'm not sure how to fix these things other than experience, or if I shouldn't worry about people who are so quick to judge. What do you think?
Originally posted by Teriq
i just have one question after you said "you people" to the African American people
Originally posted by mossme89
Nothing too bad, but lots of little things that end up offending people or making them dislike me. I'm not sure how to fix these things. It's little things like this that make people judge me and dislike me. I'm not sure how to fix these things other than experience, or if I shouldn't worry about people who are so quick to judge. What do you think?
And maybe look through some socially awkward penguin meme's to have a good laugh about the whole thing.
Also pay attention to thought patterns that tend to erode self-esteem:
All-or-nothing thinking. You see things as either all good or all bad. For example, "If I don't succeed in this task, I'm a total failure."
Mental filtering. You see only negatives and dwell on them, distorting your view of a person or situation. For example, "I made a mistake on that report and now everyone will realize I'm not up to this job."
Converting positives into negatives. You reject your achievements and other positive experiences by insisting that they don't count. For example, "I only did well on that test because it was so easy."
Jumping to negative conclusions. You reach a negative conclusion when little or no evidence supports it. For example, "My friend hasn't replied to my email, so I must have done something to make her angry."
Mistaking feelings for facts. You confuse feelings or beliefs with facts. For example, "I feel like a failure, so I must be a failure."
Self put-downs. You undervalue yourself, put yourself down or use self-deprecating humor. This can result from overreacting to a situation, such as making a mistake. For example, "I don't deserve anything better."