reply to post by IblisLucifer
man i hope you get ah chance ta reply to this mister lucy.
it was hard to understand all of what you said or if this happened recently,
but the tenth was me birthday and aye found that interesting.
i dont remember if i walked home er got ah ride from the bar,
but perhaps someone knew (i didnt tell anyone it was me birf day)
or found out and wished me ah good one and i told them "birthdays are the devil"
at anyrate i most definatly have felt this.
i too have been trying to "get on me sh*t again" as im caught saying often.
i am a musician and an artist but have always missed the three mont period where i finally started meditating sucesfully and understanding my
energies, about three or four years ago.
ive always had powerfull energy and heightened senses that was both confusing and exciting growing up.
dreams dejavu and thought maifistation paticularly
it gets me down thinking how far along i could be now
but still feel as if its for ah reason as everything else
for example if i am trying to play something too hard for my musical capabilities
i give up and dont play for ah week and come back and its easy.
life has always been like that fer me.
short pasionate bursts
and now my biggest rutt emotionaly
ive delt with depression or whatever one calls it all my life
no big deal its just there sometimes but this has been different
like standing on the edge of ah cliff overlooking ah beautiful green lagoon
you know youll be fine if you jump just like eveyone else you watched jump
you want to jump thats why yer toes are off the edge
youve drempt of this jump many times
youve jumped this jump
i dont want ta be pushed...
but i think thats what im waiting for
my appetite is gone (which was huge, work at ah pizza place, food net, i smoke, i drink) all make me hungry
my bed is too comfortable (which is me tent set up in my room makes it even harder to leave)
so now i sleep anywhere from 10 -12 hrs ah day
when it was more like 3 hrs for three days and 8-10 ah day between
i drink at least two liters oh water ah day (fluoride all the way baby)
but since my birthday ive been waking up at six and cant sleep again till noon er so
today is one such day
the dreams i had the morning of my birthday (after 12 am jan 10th)
was the first time i ever thought to attempt flight while lucid
it was amazing and pretty sucessful
i definatly pulled it off but was too excited and kept loosing it with my awareness
aye got that # next time
people fly in dreams all the time but i always end up doing silly things when i go lucid
too stuck in this dimension.
never want to leave it as much as i do
the only material things that hold me back
things im not finished with and dont want ta lose are musicL instruments
music is too important to not be ah part of our future
it will take new form and in no doubt ah more unifying sense
but i like how primitively complex they are
guitars and such
then drums harps and saxophones?
i know the answer is obvious
most importantly meditation
now has ta be ah great time
better eatting habits, water supply, drinking less and sleeping better will follow
sorry if i got off topic
lets sea where we go from here
birthdays are fer noobs
time ta fly
: o j