posted on Aug, 5 2008 @ 04:35 PM
After going through all this now it’s like it’s opened my mind to how thought patterns, emotions... And so on, have a chain reaction on your whole
being. It’s like the TSOL thing that’s gone on; the negative outcome is what I was looking for in the first place. Why? Because I had already
been identified with the negative outcome and I wanted to “Hold onto it”
As soon as I said “I need to stop this” I had become indentified with the whole negative situation. Negative being my response to the situation,
like seeing the reflection of my ego in the enemies eyes “in a sense”. Who is the enemy anyway, somebody I disagree with and judge as wrong.
In meditation last night I was trying out something, I would lie on my back until I was just about asleep and then play the watcher, just before I
would drift off there would come like “Random thinking patterns” I noticed how these would trigger off compulsive thinking. You know the type
e.g. just before you sleep you start thinking about what you need to say to somebody the next day. People may have money problems and it may be some
random yet simple word like “Coin” that enters the mind
Once this words comes into the though stream it sort of looks for an energy pattern to connect itself to. Once the mind processes the information on
the word “coin” you connect the word to other words, before you know it you have you whole money problem paying through you mind.
This is not just before you go to sleep though, it happens millions if not billions of times a day. Words, images, sounds all connect to words,
images and sound that are in your mind and create a reaction. So this whole negative reaction I had was nothing more than what I perceived it to be.
Once I drew in that negative line of thinking it has a knock on effect on my whole being.
It’s been a brilliant learning experience and I am now able to see how I react to situations. At work today something made me get a little annoyed.
They screwed my wage up and paid me short, straight away I noticed the urge to say something “To prove my point” to say “I am right I want my
money” once I noticed the reaction to the situation kicking in a sort of saw it there in front of me. It was like I was stood over myself
listening to my own voice and reactions, emotions.
In the end I had to laugh at myself because I knew I decided to react in an annoyed sort of way. Nobody set out to annoy me; maybe it was an honest
mistake. It’s not the end of the world and money is not my identity.