Schizophrenia

I will look at it. I've gained more 'insight'. Why would spirits talk with commentary? What would the purpose be? It makes me wonder if they are indeed spirits.

Originally posted by Dracotic
GENERAL EYES, I dont know what your getting at with Donnie Darko. I was diagnosed as schizophrenic before I even saw that film. Are you suggesting I'm imagining it all to be like him? That would be pathetic.

Your posts are starting to take on the nature of another young poster who was in here several months ago with a different "storyline" but same general theme...he too, was obessed with the "Darko" movie and was claiming to have found himself on a golf course with several years missing from his life.

I made mention then he sounded like he was trolling for ideas on a screenplay, and sure enough...I see the same pattern evolving here with your posts, including the overt sensitivity.

You might want to check out the "Indigo Children" thread on the main forum. If it's not up in the newer posts, you can find it under the search function. It might contain some answers you're looking for about your condition.

Too be honest, as someone who suffers from schizophrenic symptoms so servere they isolate me from normal functioning - you'll have to excuse my skepticism on what seem to me - a pattern of posts and themes that seem to come from the same person I mentioned earlier.

You hear voices. Lots of people do, and I can tell by your posts that you are seeking self-validation - and that's fine. But please, don't tread so lightly on a subject that affects millions of people so severely.

You seem awfully candid, and that might be because of your age.

But I refuse to contribute any further to this discussion until you can give me some verifiable proof of your "status" as a bona-fide schizophrenic.

People abuse the internet all the time, especially young up and coming kids who think they can throw out a few tidbits of info they picked out of a psychology book or a movie, and then get the rest of us to help them in their "project research".

I'm NOT saying this is the case with you, BUT I am very suspcious right now. Something is adding up to lead me to my previous conclusions, and considering I have suffered SEVERELY from my condition as well as my art for over 7 years - you'll just have to forgive me if I refrain from playing games any longer.

Good luck on your documentary - your screenplay - you search for validation and self identity....I have better things to do right now than stay of topic about trivial points and coddle your ego.

If you're just grasping at straws looking for answers, that's one thing.

If your serious - contact me through U2U.

Like I mentioned before - you're on serious ground with me on this.




[edit on 15-12-2006 by GENERAL EYES]

Originally posted by Dracotic
I will look at it. I've gained more 'insight'. Why would spirits talk with commentary? What would the purpose be? It makes me wonder if they are indeed spirits.

What purpose does it play for humans to gossip or talk about what other humans do or have done? Now what if they die and find themselves around other dead humans of like frequency? Would they just suddenly become enlightened or would they keep their same habits? The ebook has some more possible explanations.

I'm not saying they are disincarnates. I have no direct evidence for any particular theory.

What!? This is just absurd. Ask a moderator to compare both of our IPs. I am not treading lightly on it as mentioned in my introductory post. HOW DARE YOU brush off my schizophrenia as though I do not have it! I was placed in a psych. ward when I was first showing symptoms. I've seen things you've only seen in your nightmares. I was 16 back than. I find this deeply offensive and quite frankly ignorant.

[edit on 15-12-2006 by Dracotic]

P.S. I will probably be leaving ATS, just because I try to share my inner feelings/thoughts and this is the s*** I get.

Lol, you also keep talking about my age GENREAL EYES, I'm 20 and in college.

Stop being condescending.

Your posts are starting to take on the nature of another young poster who was in here several months ago with a different "storyline" but same general theme...he too, was obessed with the "Darko" movie and was claiming to have found himself on a golf course with several years missing from his life.

What.......are you talking about? Who ever said I was obsessed? This is sounding a bit crazy and that's comeing from ME! Seriously, it seems paranoid. Have you considered in-patient help? I did and it's worth it despite the dark times.

Offer "proof" lol. Do you want my psychiatrist or therapist to call you? How ridiculous. Why don't YOU offer proof. As I find YOUR story just as hard to believe.

Honestly I'm on the verge of tears reading this. You're denying like every hardship I've ever been through. GOD! I'm so pissed! Time to go for a walk.

EDIT:

This is the best I could with "proof". Would you like me to take a snapshot of my Zyprexa as well?

img183.imageshack.us... - Blurry M.D. note of appointment

img328.imageshack.us... -Another note of appointment from my therapist

[edit on 15-12-2006 by Dracotic]

I noticed you only focused on the negative aspects of the post :

NOW - Since I told you this was going to be a difficult task since we are trying to do this online, are you ready for the next step in the Shamanic Process or are you going to insist YOU are the only entity out there with thoughts, feelings, perceptions and schizophrenia?

Your voices are there for a reason - as are mine.

But please, just because you're not being coddled by me is no reason to stop the journey now.

You asked for information of Shamans and Scizophrenia, and I'm walking you through the tests to see how much information you can handle, and - at the same time - guaging whether or not you are mature enough to handle this.

I told you it wasn't going to be pretty, but I've found a understanding of certain techniques will keep keep you grounded in the event of a severe episode.

Sometimes such lessons are harsh, but I had to go through them well.

The first lesson you should learn is that you are not alone out there, you're playing in dangerous waters, and you need to learn to be a little more respectful of opinions and people who differ from you. Otherwise there is a strong risk of you becoming so isolated from those around you that you'll never come back - and I don't mean the forum.

You want an easy road? Take your meds and forget about the voices.

Just forget about them, ignore them and trust modern psychiatry.

You come in here wanting to know Ulimate Truth, and you expect everyone to coddle and kiss you like mommy and daddy would? That's not going to help you overcome the more dangerous trial those voices might put you through - not to mention the breaks from reality.

Seriously - this is not a personal attack. This is for a reason.

There are no easy answers to what you are dealing with, and trying to sum everything up in a nice neat tidy package as quickly as possible is never going to be of my service in the long run.

Running away isn't an answer.

Being strong and maintaining your composure is.

Hope you enjoyed your walk - are you ready to get serious?

I'm not going to just throw out over 15 years of personal hard won research to someone who doesn't respect me and what I've been through, and how I feel about certain issues.

If you're not willing to prove yourself worthy of my time, I'm not going to divuldge any "sacred insight" to your questions.

Kid, life ain't like shopping. You can't expect everyone to be your personal salesclerk and just lead to to the shelves and hand you what you want all the time.

[edit on 15-12-2006 by GENERAL EYES]

You're right I did kindof did fly off the handle. But it felt like I was being attacked....I would like to begin. Only thing is how do I know it was a test? I don't want to take advice from someone who seems to be a shaman if they can't "feel" for what's truely going on. Including how I would react to that. It was very negative for me. My OCD was almost out of control there. I'd go as far as to say it was cruel.

I'm not going to just throw out over 15 years of personal hard won research to someone who doesn't respect me and what I've been through, and how I feel about certain issues.

If you're not willing to prove yourself worthy of my time, I'm not going to divuldge any "sacred insight" to your questions.

Kid, life ain't like shopping. You can't expect everyone to be your personal salesclerk and just lead to to the shelves and hand you what you want all the time.

And I don't think I want to learn from someone that doesn't respect me. Again with the "kid"....very condescending.

[edit on 15-12-2006 by Dracotic]

LOL - don't worry, I call everyone under the age of 30 "kid" because I know how it gets on your nerves.

Glad to see you didn't drop out on me.

Regarding being able to "feel" another person - it's much more difficult over the internet - if you were in person it would be much easier and the misunderstanding wouldn't have happened.

Contrary to most literature, a Shaman is not above human error. In fact, they are very close with the natural world - which is one reason you see them more in primitive/tribal societies than walking around the streets of Manhattan.

Some people are naturally more sensitive than others - we're both in the same boat here. I was overly sensitive to patterns I saw, and made mention. You thought I was attacking you (honestly, I wasn't) and responded with a natural defense mechanism. It's cool, no harm done.

So - right now you just have the running commentary with the voices?

Imagine a "spirit" in the shamanic sense of the word, a being or entity that lives outside of our visual spectrum - these beings are thought to have feelings, emotions, curiousity, everything we as humans do...and this is why some of them can be dangerous.

Right now you've got what I wall "watchers" - they like to watch and they like to comment on it. Much like little old ladies talk to their friends about their cats "Oh, look - he's clawing the sofa" kind of thing.

Now we, as people, don't really think that cat understands us. But what if the cat DID? What might that cat be thinking about us?

At least, that's how I look at the "commentators". Generally harmless spirits.

When you hear the third person in your head like "you should take your meds" (I get that one a lot) - they're what I call "helpers". They remind me of things I usually forget, or things I may not be taking notice of.

Once again, they're not all that bad to have around once you get used to them.

The ones that speak as if you're talking to yourself, well - those can be a bit tricky. If it tells you to do something dangerous like "I think I'd go play in traffic during rush hour" - thats the kind I call the "players"...they like to try and make you think you're talking to yourself because...if you'll forgive the silly little metaphor here....some "watchers" might be a little bored and they got their no-good cousins to try and get you to entertain them.

It's like the guys who scream "don't go in there!" in horror movies but they actually want to see blood and gore.

Spirits are known for being mischievious and playing/tinkering with people. As any bonafide medium or psychic and they'll tell you they can be annoying as all get out sometime.

But what does this have to do with Shamanism? Well, like I said before, getting "too personal" with your spirits is dangerous. They lead you deeper and deeper into the woods of your psyche and some of them don't mind leading you up to some pretty big Demonic forces looking for a tasty snack, if you catch my drift.

There are many different types, sizes, natures and dispositions of these Spirits, and if you spend too much time with the little ones, the big ones get interested. And then you've got a problem.

Some people think it's cool and fun to see how "deep" they can go into that other world, and like I told you before - the deeper you get, the darker it gets.

I think I'm running out of room here - so, I'll cut this short.

But anyway, that's a bit for starters and I'll wait to hear back from you before posting anything too heavy, just so you can ask questions or get clarification about these little guys.

(I know it comes off as kinda cheesy, but we'll touch more on that in the next post.)

Take care - glad to see you're serious about this.

That's actually one of the most interesting things I've read in awhile. I have two questions and would like to hear more about whatever you feel like sharing.

I understand the old ladies analogy. But why something as trivial as, "he's putting the blue towels on the handle"? Like the cat clawing comment I'd understand a little better.

What created the spirits or Spirits?

Those are the only questions I have at the moment. Also I get that thing about how it's easier to feel people out in person....I don't know why it is though. I've gotten it ever since the paledrome though.

Yeah - I wanted to write childrens books when I was younger, so sometimes I can get kinda "fairy tale" when it comes to certain spirits.

But why your voices comment on silly things like towels I can't say for sure.

Just like some people get fixated on little things like your belt not matching your shoes I guess the spirits do that also.

It's possible they're not shamanic nature spirits at all, because that towel thing does seem like a very Western Mentality - towels, the fact they are blue, and the fact that you're fiddling with them.

Perhaps it might be the spirit of a departed person who is just hanging around you out of interest or just passing through.

Your sensitivity might be because you have the same abilities of mediums and psychics - but that's not really my field of expertise, so I can't say that for sure.

The most important thing you can do is find a storyline that works for you :

Some people call their voices angels, some call them demons.
Some think they're the souls of the departed, watching over us.

Shamans kinda think the same things, just in different language.

Hopefully, you can find your own terminology and perspective on them, something that resonates with your personal worldview, and after a little thought, you might be able to write your own theory about them.

I know it's difficult wading through all the different terminology used throughout various cultures to describe the same phenomena - but let me know what kind of things you believe in in regards to the spiritual world and I'll try to keep in that language.

Towels? Wow. I had one really pesky spirit that nagged me like an overbearing mother all the time..."shave your legs!" she'd command, right before I was going to do it anyway. Almost as if she was having some sort of delusional power trip.

LOL!

Weird having voices that have psychological shortcomings as well!

On the bright side, I don't hear from that one anymore. She and I had a falling out and I refuse to cater to her bossy nature anymore.

As far as who or what created the Spirits, I can't tell you. Maybe it's just art of the Divine Plan, maybe it was God or a Goddess - maybe it was random chance.

I still don't know myself, to be honest. I just know that they're in between worlds, and take an interest in people like us for some reason.

[edit on 15-12-2006 by GENERAL EYES]

I wanted to write childrens books when I was younger as well.

Lol, the matching clothes thing though makes more sense than the towels though....like they're towels, lol! I just don't get why the voices are so pivotol on that....I feel if I get to the bottom of the towel dialogue I will feel better for some reason.

[edit on 15-12-2006 by Dracotic]

I agree with General Eyes...

I believe there are two sources for the voices.

Your perception and precognition is one thing.

The commentary is from the Watchers who are the guardians of the underworld which means they are already aware of you.

Consider this... children hear and talk with imaginary friends, but, children are unafraid and go unharmed. Fear, anxiety, uncertainity and negative emotions may produce undesirable results. Some doors are easy to open and extremely hard to close.

We live in a time where natural gifts and or abilities are discouraged unless they can be controlled by the powers that be.

The commentary more than likely follows a precog event or directly precedes it.

Hmm, interesting. I do get visions when meditating on the third eye.

Another thought... remember the movie "Minority Report", think about this: the precogs were kept and guarded. If you do not want to be kept and guarded they will try to drive you crazy.

coronamoz~(post id: 2675750) brought up bicameral mind,
its a stretch to me but the bicameral brain may have a connection with modern schizophrenia,
even though i'm inclined to view schizophrenia as your brain not totally 'disconnecting' from the dream state when its actually time for one to be in their functional 'Awake' state.




also interesting is this idea/thought...

clearwater (post id: 2677252)

But I do agree Dracotic that probably some of the prophets, shamans and god men of old would today be classified schizophrenics.

there are ideas going around that the Apostle Paul (of the: 'On the road to Damascus', Bible story)
also the Prophet Mohammed of Islam fame, were both striken with Epilectic Seizures throughout their later lives

whether its Seizures or Schizophrenia, something beyond the normal
can/will inspire individuals, and creative inspirations can be of a spiritual or religious nature...
insights, inspirations, epiphanies, all are associated with non-ordinary reality, but are 'acceptable' mechanisms as opposed to Schizophrenics worldviews & utterings??




be careful & mindful that modern medicine &the pharaceutical indu$try
term most everything a Disease that needs remedied (over a long & expensive treatment period)

imho, schizo's are the leap forward that's anticipated as the 'consciousness raising' of civilization, due around 2012...
talk about a world being turned upside down, eh?

But no one would be functioning. Everyone would be off in their own fantasies. One would see the devil, another, an angel.

Originally posted by St Udio
coronamoz~(post id: 2675750) brought up bicameral mind,
its a stretch to me but the bicameral brain may have a connection with modern schizophrenia,

Yes, I don't think this has anything to do with it and this theory seems off to me. The "schizo" in schizophrenia refers to a split with reality, not a split brain, split personality, etc.

People have had their corpus callosum, the bundle of nerves that connect the two hemispheres of the brain, cut surgically (usually because of a problem with severe seizure) and have displayed some quite bizarre behavior/symptoms in psychological studies due to the lack of connection between the two brain hemispheres, but I don't think any of them are similar to schizophrenia.

Originally posted by Dracotic
I was also watching something. I found it unusual that with twins one can have schizophrenia and the other not. Even if they are brought up in the same environment. The only inconsistency I would see would be emotional. Such as tough relationships with girlfriends or boyfriends.

Schizophrenia has nothing to do with your emotions or the environment you were raised in. It's a mental disorder, meaning that you are born with it. I'm sure you know this, having a mild case and all.

That being said, I really wish I could believe that hearing voices was somehow something psychic or spiritual, but it just seems that science can pretty much narrow down 100% what's happening in your brain.

This has been a very interesting thread. I think I'd like to research this some more.

When I was a child I had an imaginary friend, his name was Junior, and it didn't seem wierd, at the time. I've had a few instances with visual hallucinations, but only when I was young and had a fever. These were so real that I remember them in detail to this day.

I also remember having a few odd experiences in a house that we rented near the beach. It was an old house and my roommate complained of hearing noises coming from the walls. I laughed it off and told her they might be mice. It was inhabited at the time by me, her and my boyfriend. Us two girls had all these strange dreams there. The kind of dreams in which you don't know if you are awake or not. They weren't always pleasant. I had a recurring dream of a lady that look like she had drowned. My roommate had nightmares.

I had a couple of instances in which I'd be dozing off to sleep and thought I could hear voices, like a party going on, in the other room. But, just out of earshot, so you couldn't discern what they were saying, you'd only pick up pieces of it. My boyfriend never experienced any of this and thought we were cuckoo. lol

Then one afternoon, we were in the bath and no one else was home (otherwise we wouldn't have bathed together) and we heard 3 loud knocks at our bathroom door. We both yelled out "We're in here!" so as no one would just come walking in on us. My guy jumped out of the tub and went to check to see if anyone was there. Our house was empty, and he even checked the closets. So, now to this day, he will also tell the story.


What I found that was interesting also was that we moved out of there to get our own apartment a few months later. After we moved out, I called my old roommate up and was asking her if she liked her new place. We both shared the fact that our nightmares and other occurrances had stopped completely.

To this day I haven't had dreams like I had whilst I was living there.

Just thought I'd add this, don't know if it helps or means anything.

I really enjoyed this thread. Thanks for posting it.

xxxx
Prax

Cellar Door

[edit on 16-12-2006 by Praxilla]

[edit on 16-12-2006 by Praxilla]

Originally posted by Dracotic
But no one would be functioning.
Everyone would be off in their own fantasies.
One would see the devil, another, an angel.

[[this most extreme scenario...is a spin by the puppet masters!]]

exactly why the elites, sheeple herders, & TPTB
demonize the condition called schizophrenia, and employ an army of agents
from guidance counselers, police, clergy, coaches, human resource offices,
to search out and identify the non-conformists and/or mavericks in the population (aka: schizophrenics)

? the old time witch hunt & inquisition still exists for the 'schizo'
..............(and soon may include radical Muslims)

whereas the continuing War(s) on Crime, Drugs, Poverty, Communists forever Waxes & Wanes


Edit to Add:
'functioning-in-the-world' Schizo's as opposed to the most severe cases


[edit on 16-12-2006 by St Udio]