ThreadKillers Anonymous

Your report is just SLIGHTLY overdue there, Ms Resident Assassin. *taps foot* But the way members have been dropping I guess we'll forgive you this time. Have a donut.

Step away from the fleas. We almost went to war recently, and things are a little tense still. We will NOT have open warfare in my clubhouse.

Originally posted by fritz
Queen Anne Dearest at least 'till my Beloved Tinkle gets back I didn't even know you'd gone!:shk:

That's because I am stealth incarnate, Dear Fritz, feline wonder of charm and perserverence.

Are you implying, on your return, that we, at the hallowed TKA Clubhouse, have a problem with my NinjaKittyfleas?

Not at all...just keeping us all abreast of the latest scuttlebutt downtown!

I personally don't have a problem with fleas, never have--likely due to the fact that I am not prone to hirtsuism. And I'll venture the suggestion that you have absolutely no type of flea problem, either...

However, I cannot stand idly by, hearing or reading about my beloved NinjaKittyfleas being slandered or libelled.

My dear Fritz...I slander no one, and any truths I must utter fall under my 'forward facing, steady gaze to all' policy.

In the meantime, welcome back. I trust you'll grab a couple of cushions off the couch and sit by the fire.

Here. have one of my special Mature Cheddar cheese Kittydoughnuts or if you'd prefer, some of my very special extra-cheesey Lasagne.

Yum! Cheese! How did you know?

You know, with a little extra garlic with your cheese, much could be peacably resolved...

Have I ever told you about my dear lovey cat--her name is Dudesie? I think you would really think she's swell. I'll find a picture of her to show you.

[edit on 11/28/2005 by queenannie38]

Originally posted by Zaphod58
Your report is just SLIGHTLY overdue there, Ms Resident Assassin. *taps foot* But the way members have been dropping I guess we'll forgive you this time. Have a donut.

Thought you'd never ask...

We almost went to war recently, and things are a little tense still. We will NOT have open warfare in my clubhouse.

There is never a viable call to war, these days, IMHO--especially when much can be resolved in a discreet manner if assassins are available for the task. Of course, I only kill ideas and delusions, with a sharp sword of verbal alacrity--my pacifism extends even to the insect kingdom. I relocate unwanted 6 legged guests rather than squish them.

I feel that perhaps a review is in order--the lyrics of 'War Pigs' never fail to provide a powerful reminder on the atrocities engendered by a war-seeking mentality...

by Iommi/Osbourne/Butler/Ward

War Pigs

Generals gathered in their masses
Just like witches at black masses
Evil minds that plot destruction
Sorcerers of death's construction
In the fields the bodies burning
As the war machine keeps turning
Death and hatred to mankind
poisoning their brainwashed minds
Oh Lord yeah

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight
They leave that all to the poor

Time will tell on their power minds
Making war just for fun
Treating people just like pawns in chess
Wait 'till their judgment day comes

Now in darkness world stops turning
As the war machine keeps burning
No more war pigs have the power
Hand of God has struck the hour
Day of judgment God is calling
On their knees, the war pigs crawling
Begging mercy for their sins
Satan laughing spreads his wings
Oh Lord yeah

I am noticing an increasingly militaristic atmosphere in this club house...

For example, I was not aware we had a resident professional assassin among us. I had assumed this was a support (term used very loosely) group for armature posters who inadvertanly killed threads. However, I am delighted to learn we can actually get PAID for such talents. The free markets never cease to amaze me....

queenannie38:

I do not believe we have had the pleasure... I am loam...a somewhat reluctant member of TKA... ( My first TKA post. )

As a relatively new member, I seem to have a tendency to push the limits of most rules around here....

Take these donuts, as an example.



I understand that they are prohibited, BUT...I...LIKE...the simple waxy kind....

Speaking of food....


fritz:

*dangles strips of string cheese*

(I like how they remind me of these...)


I will agree to a condition of nonaggression, provided the Pokemon fleas stay at bay! Any sign of even an intent to violate our agreement, shall result in immediate deployment of more persuasive means...




Any coffee around here? Negotiating peace settlements against my better judgment takes real work...

[edit on 29-11-2005 by loam]

We are a very peace loving group, however when Queenannie applied for membership we were so impressed with her resume and kills, we had to give her that title. She went undercover, but apparently went so deep she forgot who she was until recently.

Well, I appear to have two more kills to my name. One I posted a couple days ago that got one response, and one that I posted last night, and after 7 or 8 hours, has almost 40 views, and 0 replies. I have to see if that one is going to die on the vine too, or if people actually reply. *I* thought it was pretty interesting, but yet again, what I find interesting no one else does apparently.

Originally posted by loam
For example, I was not aware we had a resident professional assassin among us. I had assumed this was a support (term used very loosely) group for armature posters who inadvertanly killed threads. However, I am delighted to learn we can actually get PAID for such talents. The free markets never cease to amaze me....

I must offer a clarification--you are right--as I said above, my WOC (weapon of choice) is the proverbial sword (ever mightier than the pen). My thread-killing is totally inadvertent in relation to the social structure of internet discussion boards--for someone like me they are both panacea and bane...
BUT, as concerns the nature of the things I often choose to participate in the discussion thereof, to kill a thread means often 1 of three things:

1. I have left nothing more for anyone else to say of any noticeable import.
   
2. I am a totally obnoxious and unwelcome addition to the thread and as such, repel all worthy conversation which lay in the wait of promise before I so arrogantly butted in with my over-rated, inflationary '2-cents-worth.'
   OR
   
3. I have effectively served a heaping helping of food for thought and the silence indicates the rumination thereof.
   

Since #1 is both an uncharacteristic assumption on my part, as well as completely impossible, and #2 is both abhorrent to me as a human (and so comprises a good portion of the attention of my 'self-checks') as well as not sufficiently evidenced otherwise (based on various other aspects of my social life, both on- and off-line)...
then I'm hoping and believing that perhaps #3 is the most accurate assessment regarding the root of my thread-killer tendencies.

As far as 'pay,' well, where the heck did you get that idea? 'Professional', I think, must be here applied in the loosest of fashions, indicating method and prowess more than compensatory status. I have little doubt that if I sought any kind of reward for my activities, I would be rendered completely ineffectual in a short period of time.

If you can dig where I'm coming from.

queenannie38:

I do not believe we have had the pleasure... I am loam...a somewhat reluctant member of TKA...

You're right--we haven't had the pleasure, 'formally,' that is...
Here is my first post.

I do, however, remember your entry into our humble yet infinitely fascinating group.

Nice to meetcha!

As a relatively new member, I seem to have a tendency to push the limits of most rules around here....

Somehow that seems so incongruent with your earthy moniker.

I understand that they are prohibited, BUT...I...LIKE...the simple waxy kind....

With all due respect, Loam, you are sick!

Jutht thick, I thay!
Dithguthting.

But, as we all know, 'different strokes for different folks,' and 'variety is the spice of life.' (Yet some of us give other ones indigestion!)


JK

Copasetic, baby, all the way!

[edit on 11/29/2005 by queenannie38]

Originally posted by Zaphod58
She went undercover, but apparently went so deep she forgot who she was until recently.

Not an uncommon occurence by any means.


'Deep' is my home away from home.

At last somebody has brought something into the clubhouse I can get my Kittyteeth into.

Johnson's Raid! I grew up on that stuff. It's like the KittyKat elixir of life to me.

Grand Field Marshall Tokugawa humbly before your magnanimous generosity.

On a more serious note Benevolent Leader, our thread is slipping down the page, way too fast. I have mentioned it before and, for a moment we held our own. But now I have to report that we are in freefall and heading down the chart faster than a runaway train speeding downhill.

I am of the firm opinion, that there is a force outside TKA who would wish us harm.

Accordingly, I have place my beloved NinjaKittyfleas on Alert State 2. The Grand Field Marshall has unleashed my NinjaReccefleas to the furthest corners of the globe with orders to hunt these misguided persons down.

Once they have made their report, I will place my NinjaKittyfleas temporarily at your disposal and, provided you do not waste their lives needlessly, they are yours to command.

I, myself, will continue to Kittysnuggle up to Duzey under the cushions on the couch, munching my way through buckets of Kittydoughnuts.

Ok ....... Greetings! Gawd I have missed all of you oh so much, Ive developed a twitch, nasty hives, and a really bad stuttering problem, because I haven't been able to be here in like a week and a half !!!!!!!!!!!!!
We are moved down to the lower half of the US, and it's going ok, F THAT This thread will not sink, the only thing I can think of, is maybe theyre afraid of the Canadian guns being flashed around here. Also, Have you guys bathed at all?? Maybe the cheese closet, is getting a little rank? Fritz, for the last time, clean your litter box and get some front line, that may help a bit. PS has anyone bothered to check under the cushions? Maybe, we lost a someone or something in there, I know Kal was stuck in there for a few days, maybe thats what happened to TInk? Well I shall see you kiddies later Adios from Dial up land
Denial

PS I posted a story about 2 different things on ATS and both times I wound up with at least `10 U2Us in my in box sayin things like bad headline, title misleading(which was stupid because it was the title of the article) wrong for atsnn and crap like that. I am actually going to post a gripe about it I think! DOnt feel bad, Im there right with you

[edit on 11/29/2005 by denial28]

How's the lower half doing? Get some broadband?

Hey Kalapedea. Good to see ya back. What makes you think it's safe in here?

There is a horrid (but tastey) layer of haze from my extra Mature Cheedar cheese Kittydoughnuts and Lasagne.

Duzey, my Special DragonLady, keeps farting green smoke within our widdle hideyway beneath the pile of cushions.

If that was not bad enough, somebody intent on world doughnut domination, is bringing in 'glazed' doughnuts into the clubhouse. I for one cannot stand this strain anymore.

Snuggles deeper undercushions and curls up against the DragonLady, who promptly farts! "Glazed" doughnuts, indeed!

Originally posted by fritz
If that was not bad enough, somebody intent on world doughnut domination, is bringing in 'glazed' doughnuts into the clubhouse. I for one cannot stand this strain anymore.

Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication. ~Leonardo DaVinci

fritz :shk:


[edit on 30-11-2005 by loam]

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.~Albert Einstein

Originally posted by fritz
Duzey, my Special DragonLady, keeps farting green smoke within our widdle hideyway beneath the pile of cushions.

Fritz darling, they are most certainly NOT dragon farts.

They are part of my ever-so-sophisticated dragon defense system. Unlike you, my furry feline friend, dragons do not have NinjaKittyFleas to protect them from danger while napping under the cushions. That is why we redirect the methane gas that we use for breathing fire in our waking hours to produce a protective bubble around ourselves.

It also has the added benefit of keeping dragons from coughing during the night and burning the whiskers off anyone who might be kittysnuggling with us.


[edit on 30-11-2005 by Duzey]

Duzey my Special Green Dragon Lady. I just love the way your warm breath cascades down my orange fur, gently ruffling it as you snore.

All to the power of your Dragon Methane. It keeps me safe and sound and I know as I Kittysnuggle up against your warm belly, you are protecting me as I sleep, against the bringer of death - the dreaded glazed doughnut man!

Originally posted by fritz
the dreaded glazed doughnut man!

Speaking of which, I sense we are low on supply.

*whistles for the truck to back up slowly to the loading dock*





[edit on 1-12-2005 by loam]

Hey Loam.

You is one crazy dude. I mean nobody but nobody, could eat ALL those freaky doughnuts guy.

Wait a minute!

On closer inspection, they do look kinda fun. I mean, if you look very close, you could almost imagine Mature Cheddar Cheese gently melted and drizzled over them.

MMMmmm. Looking good; smelling good. Oh yeah, tasting sooo gooooood!

Mr bringer of Mature Cheddar Cheese 'glazed' doughnuts, you is forgiven.

Now! Order me a bucket full and tuck Duzey and me up till they arrive.

fritz:

To each his own....

Here is my special gift for you....



The cheese is still warm....

WOW Loam, that is tremendous!

That cheese looks soooooooo tastey.

Grand Field Marshal Tokugawa, in his most infinate wisdom, has decided to award you the highest NinjaKittyflea Humanitarian Award:

You are hereby awarded the NinjaKittyflea Golden Rose of the Sacred Kittydoughnut. Wear it with pride.