You want a life long relationship?
Hook up with your best friend.
The problem these days is many people just rush into things these days.
I have literally seen people hook up in a night club, and be living together by the end of the week.
And they wonder why such relationships fail.
I see people do this over and over and expect different results. What's that thing about the definition of insanity?
My parents generation and previous used to have social guidelines. Long courtships. You had to take things slow and get to know your potential life
I recall my grand parents and their friends, my parents their friends, my friends parents, all seemed to be pretty happy average families.
But they all had one thing in common. They all seemed to be friends with their partners. True equals, even if their 'roles' were different. Sigh miss
those days when we acknowledge we were different but could still be equal.....
I've had purely sexual relationships, in that I was attracted to the women based on looks and attraction. Not personality. Thinking with the 'wrong
They never worked out.
What did work out was meeting a woman, spending time with her as a friend for several years, getting to know her as person, and falling in love over
Been happily 'married' now for a decade.
Looks fade, sex appeal changes and sometimes even goes over time for most if not all. We're always changing. But my partner and I know is when we're
old and saggy, we will still be able to talk and have a joke with each other because she is my best friend first and my lover second.
But yes, she is a woman, and I am a man. She likes to do girl things, I like to do guy things.
We don't ignore our physical biological differences. I am physically stronger than her, that's just a fact. Doesn;t mean she's not a strong person.
I mean her not being a man is like 50% of why I like her, and me being a guy is part of the appeal to her lol.
And it's okay we're not exactly the same. Differences don't have to be a bad thing.
But don't get me wrong, she is my equal in every way.
Thing is we don't focus on our differences, we focus on our similarities and outside of that we just do 'us'.
We are a team, but we're also individuals.
We don't give a crap about what you or the rest of society views us.
The only opinion that matters to me in our relationship is hers. (And for her mine :p )
And this is why it works for me and her, and why it works for her parents, and mine, and worked for our grandparents.
The problem is we've lost this. Many have allowed society and the media to manipulate them.
Women think they need to be men to be equal and happy. Instead of just being equal and happy while being 'girly' is just fine.
People are told constantly, especially by modern comedy that you don't need to work on relationships, that social team working creatures like humans
can be independent and don't need anyone for a happy life.
You just pick up a one night stand, have sex, and if they have something that bugs you like they snore, you just dump there butt and move onto a new
one night stand.
I just know so many people, people I went to school with that watch shows, like seinfield, ellen, friends, sex in the city, and like most pop culture
they end up emulating this stuff.
Look at sitcoms from the 60's that highlighted and promoted traditional family values, and the societies of the time, versus the 80's 90's and 2000's
where the media seems to celebrate being dysfunctional and positively encourages it and how society as a whole changed.
and divorce, failed relationships, promiscuous sex and fighting over alimony and child support are comedy gold......
there's definitely a correlation between main stream popular media and it impacting and shaping society.
It's just a whole combination of things that have lead us to being on auto control. We've let in bad 'programming' (sorry bad pun because TV) and most
humans have just forgotten how to human any more.
We've ignored basic science, common sense and logic for a few peoples feelings, and we're surprised this is where we are going?
Gotta expect young men are going to be scared of relationships when consensual sex can become rape the next day because the willing partner didn't
enjoy it and had regrets or just felt like being vindictive to become a university campus celeb.
When all the media is pummeling them with stories about how they just by being born male are evil and responsible alone for all the evils of the
While they are told they still have to be men and take care of and build society.
The problem is not as large as it seems, but the media sure as heck makes it sound like it is.
And that is the solution. Men and women alike. Stop rushing into relationships. Stop doing what others tell you you need to do to be happy ad just do
what makes you happy. And also stop worrying about what OTHERS do with their lives.
Ignore the TV, the internet, the blogs, the posts, the youtubes, stop listening to 'single' life coaches and parenting experts and start listening the
person you want to be your lifelong partner.
Slow down take your time. Think about your choices. Do you know this person? Are they the one for you? BEFORE YOU LET THEM INTO YOUR HOUSE. Dating is
mean to be the test drive period.
Stop blaming society because you date the, same wrong people, the same wrong ways over and over, and it never works and you now have 6 kids to 7
different guys, or that woman you let move in after a month is now claiming defacto status and is spending your money and sleeping behind your back
while you work 12 hours a day and you're not sure the baby is yours.
Take some responsibility for your and work on yourself. That's the one, because it is the one thing that always remains the same in every relationship
we have. Ourselves.
Who got you into your situation? YOU DID. nobody else.
It would help if men would get their alpha back. Seriously a lot of these guys have simply wimped out.
Too much soy and a life time of playing Halo and buying DLC's.
Being a manly man is okay. It's about how you treat others.
(I play video games and can work out too!)
But yeah things have become screwed up. But as usual things won't change until they change.
But yes young men, stop hiding and take back your world.
Thankfully I think this problem isn't as bad as the media makes it out, it's a very loud and vocal minority.
The majority of humans are still okay with traditional gender roles. Not all women are evil life sucking banshee feminists like not all men are rapist
So don't give up on dating guys and gals. Just be smarter about it and stop buying into the hype and feeding peoples agendas and narrative.
Make your life what you want it to be.
edit on 30-5-2018 by AtomicKangaroo because: (no reason given)