Women don't like quiet males. (They prefer alpha males who are all bullies)

I agree with you completely, and I have known this since I first started dating, fortunately. But then again, it can be difficult to "change" yourself, but it is simply a matter of repetition and focused thought. You are also correct that attraction has a biological mechanism. Attraction is not a choice, in men or women, but especially in women.
Have you ever heard any of them compare alpha males with passive sissy-guys? It does not matter if they believe the passive guy to be more stable, or "nicer," because attraction is not a choice.

I'm sure we have all seen at one time or another a woman who stays with a guy who is no good for her or to her. Why is this? Because she is biologically attracted to him, and this has nothing to do with making a conscious decision to be attracted to that person. But some people think you have to "be mean" to girls to build attraction, which is false. It is mainly about confidence, but confidence can branch out into many different things. A willingness to take initiative in various things, a willingness to be playful in a way that subconsciously makes a woman attracted to you, etc.

I have heard guys talk about their lack of success with women here and there, and they seem to get put into the "friends" zone rather early, if any sort of relationship progresses at all. I do not care how much you think you like a girl, once you are placed into that category, which means she feels no attraction towards you, you are much better moving on than attempting to change the unchangeable. Acts of kindness and related acts may cause a woman to say to herself, "hey, this guy really likes me, and is willing to do whatever for me," but if that primal attraction is not there, the girl usually will not attempt to rationalize being with a guy she is not attracted to.

Originally posted by fadedface
reply to post by Akragon

 

I'm not particularly good at anything and don't really enjoy doing anything anymore (except maybe eating) I enjoy watching old television programmes and reading occasionally. I try not to go out as often as possible but when I do I walk around aimlessly for hours on end but even that wears me down now.

I thought (and hoped) the ufo's would have taken me away by now.

Dear faded - after going back a bit and reading this post, I'm wondering if you are dealing with depression? I'm not trying to diagnose you or anything (I hate it when people do that on threads, btw) but I encourage you to sit with that idea and see if it fits. Could that be the case? If so, there are things you can do about it that might make life a whole lot better, if you so choose... Again, I'm really really really not trying to project this onto you - but if my empathy meter is at all correct, I would say that I'm picking that up from you. I could also be wrong! But you sound far from happy...

Just a thought...Take care....

peace,
AB

Who ever told you that alpha males are bullies has lied to you and you believed him/her. You bought into it like my little cousin buys into the whole Santa Claus idea. I'm an "alpha male" if that's how you wanna put it, I'm not a bully; in fact I'll take my jacket off and give it to you in a winter storm so wouldn't freeze and not give a shyt about myself. I don't have to know you know you, but I love you as you are: as another aspect of myself. Another human being. Another life, like mine. As my brother/sister. Yah I'm confident, that's how i feel...you can too. I'm humble because I I'm beyond my 3-D body, my appeal, my state of mind. I'm the imagination of myself, and this is how I'm painted in this life...this is me...You attract more people into your life with that state of mind than ...walking around like a cocky/arrogant/self-righteous mother-trucker. There are different flavors in the world of Alpha -males...you have only been told about one kind...keep discovering more, don't stop.

Those are not women they are immature girls of all ages who never learn.

Real women are attracted by men who intrigue them.

Originally posted by fadedface
I'm 28 years old and I've never been in a relationship with a woman, had a girlfriend or even ever had a friend who was female. I'm a quiet and polite person who lacks confidence.

When I was younger I use to naively think that because I was a friendly, polite and quiet person I would eventually attract the interest of a woman now I realize how wrong I was and that women are only interested in alpha males who know what they want and don't care how many people they walk over to get it. The fact of the matter is that women are attracted to confidence in men more than anything else and it doesn't necessarily matter if the man is a good person or not so long as he is confident. Which is why women like 'bad boys' and 'aggressively confident and competitive' men because they are alpha males.

Throughout my life I have been a quiet and polite person lacking in confidence and have always been ignored and sometimes laughed at as well by women and seen them go for the confident and competitive smug males or the aggressive bullies so my views are shaped by my experiences.

Its not right that quiet, polite and socially awkward males like myself are completely ignored or rejected by women and I have no intention and am not capable of changing who I am and there isn't anything wrong with being quiet, over polite and socially awkward and women should start to notice men like me instead of only acknowledging the confident alpha male idiots who compete for their attention.

I just think its sickening and unfair the way women ignore and reject nice quiet males who lack confidence but always fall over themselves for the confident and arrogant idiots. Women aren't worth bothering with because they have a bias against us quiet and polite guys who are uncompetitive and passive.

This post chilled me to the bone. To the bone.

Every so often, I see the news reports where they neighbors are saying "he was such a nice guy, he was such a quiet guy... who knew... ?"

It ain't healthy to be so far down in the pit that you feel like you have to look upwards to everyone else.

You want them to notice you, but you don't want to compete for their attention? How are they supposed to notice you, then? Just because?

You've never even had a female friend? How could you possibly know anything about them, then? You have no basis to pass judgement.

Women are "not worth bothering with"? WHY is it bothering you, then?

"Women should start to notice men like me"? Why? If you aren't even willing to set yourself out there, differentiate yourself from the herd, WHY should they notice? HOW WOULD they notice you?

There is such a thing as being TOO timid. It produces frustration and anger, a feeling of a lack of power, even over themselves. Eventually, in a bid to gain power, they do bad things. That appears to be the road you tread, going by your posts. They are contradictory, and appear to have far too high an expectation without a concurrent output of effort.

Instinctively, people feel the need to avoid the predators, and your posts are screaming "sumpin' ain't right here".

If that comes through in your posts, what in the world do you suppose people are feeling in person?

P.S. - laughter is often a defense mechanism. There is a reason that the phrase "nervous laugh" has entered the English vocabulary. make a woman laugh, and you own her - but not THAT kind of laughing. I mention this only because you specified that women have laughed at you. Women go largely by "feelings" - are you sure they're getting the right KIND of feelings?

I don't believe OP has to actually change who he is to find a relationship. He just has to take the risk of getting hurt. LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. And stop expecting women to come up to him and ask him first.

It's childish to pin your problems on half of the human populace and expect them to change to cater to your expectations and desires. You act as if you and your "omega" kind are the only ones that suffer. Are ridiculed. Are bullied. And that "barbaric" women are the lucky sex and have it so easy. (Which is bull, if you ask me. We ALL have our own problems that plague us and we must overcome.)
You could use your negative experiences to become a stronger individual. Instead, you choose to play the victim card and wallow in your own self pity.

I know I sound like a douche. I just don't pity people like the OP. Why? Because I have been there myself. I have grown up in a verbally and physically abusive family. I have been bullied and made fun of in school. I have always been a quiet, shy, and introverted individuals, hoping someone would notice me and ask me out. But one day, I woke up. I was tired of wallowing in my own pity party. I realized just how immature and ridiculous it was.

Life throws us hurdles. We are to overcome them. But from what I am seeing, the OP is standing there, having a staring contest with the hurdle. And losing.
He is proud of his self proclaimed victim status and wears it like a badge while looking down on others.

OP needs a reality check.

Here's something for you, OP:
How many women have you asked out in your lifetime? Have you even tried??? Do you expect women to have some kind of mind reading power and just KNOW you're interested?

Oh, and by the way. Confidence does not equate to bully in all cases. I could call you a bully of women by your intolerant behavior.

Originally posted by fadedface
reply to post by Klassified

 

Women have got a lot to answer for in rejecting quiet, passive and timid males.

"Have got a lot to answer for"? Answer to WHO? That, sir, is a scary, scary thought. My daughter, my wife, my sisters - they all have to walk in the same world as people who think like that.

This is the attitude that caused cave men to develop spears - for defense.

No woman, ANYWHERE, has to answer for YOUR insecurities and lack of confidence. No woman, ANYWHERE, has to answer for whom they are attracted to. If you don't fit the bill, look inward, don't project your problems onto them - they appear to be doing fine.

...they should change their outlook from perpetrating the survival of the fittest through their insistence on procreating only with alpha males and start acknowledging, accepting and even approaching socially awkward males who lack confidence and have no social skills like myself.

Why should THEY change their outlook? That outlook has worked for them for thousands of years. Why should THEY have to change their outlook, and not YOU? That sounds dangerously close to the edge of a controlling attitude. That's what wife-beaters are made of. Bullies, such as you claim to detest.

Who are you, really, to demand that they start acknowledging anything at all, much less approaching what does not appeal to them? More controlling. More bullying.

You can't demand that ANYONE notice you at all, nor can you demand that they "answer for" anything at all.

That is what bullies do.

reply to post by fadedface


There are 3 kinds of males, the "nice guy" the "jerk" and the alpha male.

The alpha male is a balance between the two and doesn't take crap from anyone. The alpha male depends on himself and is Confident in all that he does while also maintaining a good side.

You are confusing alpha male with the jerk. While many will ignore this post and still believe the OP, if you study the books on how to become an alpha male, (which are many many books) you will see that the alpha male is neither a jerk nor a nice guy. He simply is.

I can't really disagree with the OP though.

I was one of those guys who would be all lovey and say all this eloquent poetic crap, and I actually believed in it.
NEVER WORKED ONCE EVER.

But hey guess what? Once I became a total douche and didn't mind being a complete jerk whenever I feel it necessary, and don't mind telling people the harsh horrible truth to their face with a laugh, I started getting noticed by all the chicks.

I am not anything special looking, pretty average IMO. What changed was my attitude. My disposition.

I became the essence of aggression and I cannot help but be domineering most of the time. I do it to my friends, family, everyone! I feel kinda guilty a lot but have to remind myself, no chick would ever like a guy who didn't mop the floor with everyone's faces regularly.

I know it sounds insane, but it's true. I tried for 15years to get a chick the "legit way" by being passive and not pushing or anything like that. It simply never worked and it always led to a very bad heartbreak.

I still fight for the forces of good, and I do think our society is corrupt and disgusting most of the time.

What I did was molded my aggressive warlike personality into a specific form, whereby I channeled my energies towards specific issues and I refuse to bully the innocent (if I cannot help it).

Originally posted by fadedface
and why should people like me be held back because I am like this the world should be changed so passive and ineffectual people can thrive as well

Because the world has never been that way, and never will be. Those who have it all aren't willing to give it up for those who want it all. What you're basically asking for is social communism.

Originally posted by fadedface
if anything I think failure should be rewarded.

I can't do this anymore. This guy has to be a troll.



Edit: Just noticed the flood of YouTube videos below. I'm surprised it took this long for it to turn into a PUA thread lol

reply to post by fadedface


I disagree with this statement. I am extremely confidant and aggressive when it comes to what I want. But I am one of the nicest gentlemans most women will ever meet. So boo to your theory that only "genuinely nice" guys are weak.

Originally posted by fadedface

Originally posted by hotel1
Remember girls/ladies alpha does mean admirable.

All alpha males are inherently bullies because they are competitive and aggressively confident and care only for themselves and their own success and it is this which so attracts women.

The only genuinely 'nice guys' are weak, passive and timid socially awkward omega males like myself.

No they are not, the alpha male is a balance between the jerk and the nice guy. BALANCE, you are spreading misinformation which is not true. There are books and videos on how to become an alpha male. Please do your research before you confuse the term.

if anything I think failure should be rewarded.

If that's what you believe in...that's what you project out. *Failure*

So don't blame anyone else but yourself...

/thread.

Originally posted by nenothtu
they appear to be doing fine.

Most of your posts are fair but this right here is over the top Nenothtu lol.

Almost no one appears to be doing fine, most people believe in complete delusions and suffer daily in the grind, wishing they had it just a little better. Always wanting a little more.

I am doing better than almost anyone psychologically and emotionally and financially speaking, and it's an intense battle every day to stay sane in this screwed up world.

Originally posted by SammyB0476
reply to post by fadedface

 

I disagree with this statement. I am extremely confidant and aggressive when it comes to what I want. But I am one of the nicest gentlemans most women will ever meet. So boo to your theory that only "genuinely nice" guys are weak.

I also see myself in the Jekyll Hyde dichotomy often times.

I consider myself to be a very nice person with very high standards of decency.

But as consequence, the failure to meet those standards typically results in unleashing the beast within, the ravenous creature that we all hate but that we all eventually become because we have little options for alternatives.

Maybe you need the professor Tom leykis. I am a nice guy and tried his stuff and it worked like a charm.
Watch this video and learn something and maybe grow some balls

IMPORTANT PLEASE READ THIS POST OP DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT

This is one of the seminars on becoming an alpha male led by David D angelo

The alpha male traits are extremely rare in this world. Women prefer them because they are balanced.

After watching this video, tell me where the bully part comes in cause all I see is helpful advice on becoming a better person and a better lover.





I have PERSONALLY taken these seminars and applied these teachings in my relationship and they helped me become a more balanced and a more spiritual person not only towards my lover but also to those around me. I debunk Op's claim on the alpha males because he clearly did not do his research.

This. Is. Ridiculous.

I know it's all been said, and he's probably either a troll or a very immature person, but I feel like I have to say something.

Women are attracted to all sorts. Really they are. I'm friends with girls who date shy guys; I'm friends with girls who date shy girls, for that matter. If the girl is nice, she'll go for nice people. Simple as that.
But if you close yourself off, or alienate them with misguided beliefs, no amount of pity of sympathy can be of much help. You need to put effort in, and so does she.

It depends on the woman. I'm by no means an Alpha male. I'm actually fairly feminine, in a lot of ways. Quiet. I read a lot. I have a hard time talking to strangers. And yet, I don't have any problem. Because I'm happy enough with who I am; I'm a nice person; I'm polite; I know how to speak well; I have interesting taste in things; I go places; I'm optimistic, good-natured, and all that good stuff. I'm also fairly shy, and quite skinny. And oh, I'm stylish, which actually does make a difference. It implies that one is stable and cares about themselves.

Anyway, I'm also emotionally stable. Which you seem to have trouble with. I blame myself for my shortcomings; I don't delude myself into the idea that it is the fault of someone else.

I met my first girlfriend online. Which is actually a much less nerve-wracking medium in which to get to know someone. So long as you are capable of being nice, truthful, &c, through text. And in person, when you finally do meet them. I dated her for two years when I moved across the country and we broke up. My next girlfriend I met in front of a cafe while I was reading, a month after becoming single. She just sat down and we started talking. We've been dating for two years.

Again, I'm no alpha. And sure, luck might play a big role. But I think so does my good nature, my willingness, my polite manner, how often I smile, and the fact that I go places. Had I not been at a cafe, I could be single right now. Not that being single is all that bad.


I'm a firm believer in the idea that you can't be in a happy relationship until you're happy with yourself.


Now, alpha qualities can certainly be appealing. Self-confidence, intelligence, showing comfort (smiling), dressing well, and talking clearly. And a few others. But being an abusive jerk can never help. And oh, blaming women when they are not at fault is certainly part of being an abusive jerk.

Not reading anything but the OP title: Dude, get some balls......

reply to post by Joopson


Aye, the alpha males are actually very few in numbers compared to the jerk and the nice guy which are numerous. A true alpha is an honest leader, and it is not what OP claims. But I will agree with you also on the possibility of OP being a troll. As I mentioned in my previous posts, ive taken seminars and have become a better person because of it. I treat my gf with respect and I am loyal to her.

I am an alpha male and I am no bully. Sure I use a bit of psychology, but see, psychology is not a bad thing when used for the right reasons and to actually help others.