Why not forgive everyone?

I was wondering why we all don't forgive everyone that we thought wronged us and everything that has happened to us. It is only us who really suffers by not forgiving even the worst of people in the world. We may think that some people just don't deserve to be forgiven but really that just punishes us. It doesn't make sense to not forgive someone when you really think about it.

The reason why I don't forgive a lot of the time is because I have a hard time unlearning the judgment philosophy that I was taught as a kid.

Why don't you forgive others or at least a certain person in your life?

reply to post by Ralphy


I consider myself to be a little too forgiving. Sometimes I'm glad I am the way I am, and sometimes it just really pisses me off. But, someone once said, and this is paraphrased: Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. I'm not sure who said it, but I think it's true. It's one thing to be burned by someone and never trust them again and to adjust a relationship with that person accordingly, but to forever hold onto anger is just self-punishment.

reply to post by Ralphy


Okay. I forgive everyone - but only on the condition that everyone forgives me too!

Originally posted by Ralphy
Why don't you forgive others or at least a certain person in your life?

Depends on how much that person hurt you

reply to post by Ralphy


And what would it change?

Granted there are some 'grander' situations in our world that are a result of the judgement you suggest, but in reality; there are too many other things that would just ramp up, such as greed, jealousy of what others have and just plain old megalomania.

I also wonder, how many times could you stand being wronged by people before the price of forgiveness becomes too much for you to pay?

It just isn't that simple imo.

it all goes back to the "ego"

It feels good to hate people.

You have to find balance. Forgiveness should only be used when somebody has done something wrong enough that it needs your forgiveness to calm them. We are very bad when it comes to viewing other peoples vantage points. Stop and assess the situation and see if it is even worth getting upset about. Most times youll find its nothing of any importance or fuss.

However, situations do arise that need forgiveness. And it is ultimately up to you as too when you will grant that.

Originally posted by Hellas

Originally posted by Ralphy
Why don't you forgive others or at least a certain person in your life?

Depends on how much that person hurt you

If forgiveness is that way... we are all screwed!
Subjective much?

Tell us your rules for bad stuff... I'm sure we will listen.

Humans suck.

reply to post by Ralphy


Good thread.

I have tried this also, because you are correct, holding onto the grudges of the past only affects us. Those who have wronged us don't give a damn if we're up at 2am ruminating over things that are now completely out of our control.

Cognitive behavior therapy attempts to help with things like this, learning to catch a fleeting thought before it becomes an emotion, which often appears out of the blue as we rarely notice the thought before we're overwhelmed with anger or regret.

Forgiveness for me has to be a subconscious thing, or it's a constant struggle to remind myself that I won't let someone else be in control of how I feel.

Originally posted by strato
It feels good to hate people.

Say that when you're in your 40's and it's all you've done for the last 30 years.

and if you are in your 40's... man, how are you even sane???

It all comes down to memory IMO. I usually stop giving a crap about old conflicts because the details get all fuzzy and I forget my initial emotions. That wouldn't happen with a super brain that remembers everything. This reminds me of a Dr. House episode where a woman that remembered every single detail of life hated everyone and had no close family members. She was unable to forgive anyone.

reply to post by Ralphy


Dear Ralphy,

When we are looking at our last moment on earth we have the choice of forgiving everyone or carrying that baggage with us, when I was facing death I chose to forgive. It was a very freeing experience and I felt as if I had the weight of the world lifted from me. Peace.

A very close friend of mine was molested by both of her brothers and her father. At 29, she still has night terrors, occasionally wets the bed and is on more medications than I'd care to think about. Should she forgive them? Hate has a place in day to day life.

reply to post by Ralphy


Because they are going behave the same way again...

and again..

then one more time..

so.. eventually one needs to severe the tie.

Click here for more information.

I would love to be able to forgive everybody who has ever wronged me, and for the most part, I have....however, there are a few people that I just can't. The hurt and betrayal is such that, if I said I forgave them, it would only be words.

I struggle with it, naturally, and hope that eventually I can find it in my heart to forgive them. In the mean time, I try not to think about it, and hope that time will heal the wound over enough to allow me to let it go.

For example, one murdered a family member. It's been 13 years, and I just cannot bring myself to forgive them. Eventually, I hope to, but after all these years, it still feels fresh, painful, and just plain awful.

Why forgive anyone? Forgiveness requires one to judge and only feeds the ego.

Why kNot instead learn there's no reason to forgive anyone and from there, Love everyone, including yourself?

"Love is the Light when Filtered thru the Prism of Logic." - Old Toad Proverb

Ribbit

Maybe..in a perfect world.

If only it were that easy..

Originally posted by SmoKeyHaZe
Maybe..in a perfect world.

If only it were that easy..

The Perfection in Imperfection Paradox states:

That if Imperfection is the end goal, when Imperfection is reached, it's Perfect.

This is an Imperfect Utopia.

Learn the truth and from there, it's easy to Love everyone but no matter how much Love you have, stoopidity can still piss you off, especially if you's a toad.

Ribbit