I Was a Victim: The Steubenville Rape Case is Not Isolated!!

Blaming men, blaming women...

We have to blame ourselves, every single person alive.

Every parent, every child.

We perpetuate this culture daily.

I am a male and i'm sorry.

Originally posted by Druscilla

Originally posted by luciddream

Steubenville rape victim was dumb. Period.

If a person is going to get drunk beyond their limit, without friends to have their back, men or women, they should be expecting things like this, especially at a party filled with horny teenagers.

Blame the victim. Always blame the victim.
She was just asking for it the way she was dressed.
She should have known better than to go that part of town.
She shouldn't have gone to the party alone.
Associating with those kinds of people was an invitation.
...

Essentially we should all wear burkas, and be escorted everywhere we go, and only then to approved places to do approved activities, otherwise we're asking for it?

It's attitudes like this that cause me to entertain scenarios illustrated in my previous post.

If most of the men on this planet were just ... gone, we wouldn't have this problem at all.
The left over men could be like domestic animals.

edit on 19-3-2013 by Druscilla because: (no reason given)

Yeah, i could go running at any time of the night and not have to worry about being vulnerable, Sucks being a woman sometimes!

Yano what makes me laugh even more? Even those women who wear burka's get raped, and guess who's fault that turns out to be!? Just cant win in a man's world it seems!

Very insightful thread, and many of us have experienced some form of sexual assault. Children too, as if it is a domination thing, for we moved due to the boys enduring threats and sexual assault of sorts from a bully who terrorized the neighborhood. I had the younger kids at the complex running to me, as we were singled out and my kids had been standing up to it some of the time. But often it is fear of threats made that keep kids from speaking up, and we don't realize that to a child, a dominating bad boy who threatens a friend of his will knife them and tells them they've already gotten away with murder, most parents don't realize that kids don't always speak up or come and tell you right away. So its common, very common.

I actually appreciated Druscilla's posts on this thread as well, for while in no way shape or form would one wish that reality it would create a different world, 3 generations later, and I understand the concepts behind that. My 5 boys have never been raised with this mindset, in fact its hard for me without a thyroid to be a coach or disciplinarian, but talk to them, share things with them, out of the box, and find that each of them was a handful without the stricter parenting, but by the time they reach preteen and teen years, you can tell they have love in them, and awareness of the world somewhat. So nope on that solution, not a go.

reply to post by wildtimes


I chose not to date football players in high school for these sort of reasons! I did date one though and he was not like the rest of his buddies; he was smart as a whip and had very strong values. He was a true leader and genuinely a fair and honorable guy. No one in high school understood why he dated a loser like me, but me and him both knew why and it was our little secret. When his friends ragged on him he stood firm and told them to back off. He understood things from a different perspective than the whole high school popularity contest crap that our culture is obsessed with. He refused to get caught up in the drama you could say.

So, while many sports guys do get off on the status of it all, I am reminded of him and how he proved the stereotype wrong...he proved a lot of stereotypes wrong btw. I love it when I meet people who do that! He went on to further breakdown stereotypes in his life, over coming a lot of obstacles in his path and his ability to play football helped him, so I can't knock jocks, just those that act like the Steubenville boys...and yes, they are boys, boys who need to desperately grow up and realize what it means to be real men and leaders.

I just couldn't understand anyone's mentality of:

"She's drunk and passed out - i'll have sex with her"
"She's wearing a short dress and looked at me a couple times - I'll have sex with her"
"She's clearly drunk - I'll have sex with her"
"She seemed up for it earlier but now seems to be having second thoughts - I'll force her to comply"

Not every man thinks this way (Thank god) But the bottom line will always be:
No matter how drunk, slutty or passed out she is, if a woman doesn't consent to sex, its rape.

This pretty much sums it up for me

Originally posted by Druscilla


If most of the men on this planet were just ... gone, we wouldn't have this problem at all.
The left over men could be like domestic animals.

edit on 19-3-2013 by Druscilla because: (no reason given)

and right here is where you lost me. What a narrow minded, self-righteous, bigoted statement.

Your research on the topic has obviously been extremely one sided. And it makes your message weaker.

Originally posted by Druscilla

Originally posted by luciddream
reply to post by Druscilla

 

Prisons with 100% male populations are some of the most violent, unhappy places on earth, and that where all the inhabitants are prohibited from having weapons and under constant watch a guard.
When men can't rape women, they start raping each other, forcing their victims into a projection of female servitude as their b**ch.

An unregulated overwhelming majority male population implodes into violence and self destruction.

Originally posted by skorpius
reply to post by Druscilla

 

It's well past time for the boys to step down and let Amazonia happen.

edit on 19-3-2013 by Druscilla because: (no reason given)

Yes I'm with you on this one. It seems the male gender will not evolve past this violent raping mindset, however they were programmed by nature there is no excuse after all this time. It's just ridiculous to allow such a destructive mentality to 'lead' anybody. Women need to wake up too - we are (collectively) the ones raising these neanderthals. I see young moms today indulging their little boys violent tendencies w/ video games and chaotic tv shows, feeding them sugar and yelling at them for being out of control... they should be learning how to access their minds and their better natures through discipline and channeling their focus, etc. not just running amok and thinking whatever I want... I want... I want... me... me... me... and boys are stronger physically so they get used to bullying their way through situations. They need STRONG MOTHERS who will stand their ground and teach them how to be of quality character. Of course the fathers should be doing this too but so many of them have already been programmed beyond sensibility into their cave-man boy club way of thinking it's just more likely that the right guidance is going to come from a strong and savvy mother.

Any excuses like nature makes it so men/boys can't resist jumping on an attractive female, I say BS to that one! There are plenty of males who can handle such things just fine and don't go around raping women/girls because of their impulses. Idiotic to blame rape on nature. We have minds for a reason.

As the one poster quoted about rape - it is ALWAYS WRONG. It is ANTI-HUMAN same as molestation and child-rape is - and as such is a threat to the entire human race. We should view rapists and molesters as enemies of the human race and treat them as such. PERIOD!

sorry for the above format, not sure why it posted like that but I did something wrong. Apologies!

Originally posted by jella888
sorry for the above format, not sure why it posted like that but I did something wrong. Apologies!

If you click to edit your post, you need to remove the quotations from the start and finish of your reply

Example [ quote] and [/ quote]

You're welcome

reply to post by Druscilla


@ NavyDoc - @ Chasingbrahman -
Thank you for your non biased intellectual insight; star for both.

@ Druscilla -

As I linked in a previous post to this thread was my personal experience
to this heinous crime but what I did not explain to anyone was what it did to my psyche;

I have spent the better part of five [5] years in a prison due to my 'challenge' as a survivor
and with this experience I say that you are WRONG on your assumption.

It is a SMALL handful that do what you claim MOST men do and if you were to spend time in
a woman's prison, as I have also, you will find that the mindset you described ALSO is inherent
in women and not limited to men.

I am in not insulting or flaming you but instead trying to allow those without personal insight
to see the world as it truely is.

To everyone - please, please refreain from the hatred issue...it solves NOTHING!

Please, for the sake of humanity and future generations;

Can we not, man and woman, work together to solve this disgusting issue..?

Originally posted by Druscilla
reply to post by wildtimes

 

There'd still be men around, and those men still around would love it because they'd never want for feminine company, sex, and most of those things that tend to drive the male ego to act out.
They'd be too busy acting out their rock and roll super porn star fantasies the rest of their days to start wars, perpetuate gang violence or even start or be in gangs, as well as any and all similar pursuits and exercises demonstrated in abundance among the least common denominator out of all exampled men.

edit on 19-3-2013 by Druscilla because: (no reason given)

Wow, I have never seen a more crystal clear example of Misandry, you sound no better than those that claim it was the victims fault.

It truly is a measure of how messed up society has become that you can make such statements so plainly.

WE all are just human beings, every life is valuable, every human is important, I could go on how you are painting men with the same brush the defenders of the rapist paint women.

Your part of the problem, RAPE is a much more complex issue than gender, to paint it as an XY issue is to do everyone whose ever suffered through such horrible crimes a disservice.

uh..

Men CAN get raped,

I was almost literally raped by a transexual.

It happens.. it just doesn't get talked about, because men are too proud to admit stuff like that.

reply to post by Druscilla

That is about the most bigoted thing I have heard of in a long while. So lets get this straight, you propose to kill off 3.5 billion - 350 million men = 3.15 billion men. And in this fantasy of yours you are going to create utopia, men will be treated like rock stars, porn stars; but at the same time you do want to get rid of them. How do you propose to kill such a large number? Gas chambers, shot in the head, bleed to death, going to create a virus that will target the Y-chromosome?
I am thankful for one thing - that you don't have the means, know how or intellect to actually go ahead and try to bring this sick fantasy of yours to fruition. I don't know what has happened to you in the past but realize that there are good and bad people everywhere and of both genders. Try to break this circle of hate that you are perpetuating. Sad..

reply to post by Druscilla


to me, yes, it sound balanced.

Its the only way to be sure nothing bad happen to anyone anymore.

reply to post by runetang


I have the utmost respect and admiration for any man who is willing to step forward on this issue and redefine the misconception that this is a "female only" problem.

I believe your words and the words of other men who come forward will do much to help mend the wounds of rape that both sexes endure and that affects us all. Men need to know this is not their fault either, it doesn't make them weak or powerless, it doesn't have to define them or destroy their sense of self worth. They are still very much men and they need to hold their heads high.

People are often most strong in their most vulnerable moments, it is a paradox but I see proof of it right here on this thread. To those who have been hurt this way, I think of this: you are here, writing these posts, if that isn't proof of your strength I don't know what is.

I think that by men remaining in the shadows and not discussing this, it only allows further oppression and pain to grow within our society as a whole. Thank you for being honest and brave enough to speak. In my eyes that makes you more of a man, not less of one. And also a leader who possesses the ability to not be defined by the prevailing attitudes of humanity.

reply to post by Starwise


Ummm... So just what are you saying?
Are you suggesting that we ban all men?
Sorry that you say you have PTSD due to the bad things you say happened to you but, there are women who do the same to men.
Terrible things happen to all people, that is the sad fact.
The strong people get up every morning and put on their war face and do the task at hand.

All this men vs. woman nonsense is entirely superficial. Both genders rely on each other out of necessity. Removing or reducing one or the other is an absurd concept.

Rape is an insidious violence perpetuated by insidious individuals of all genders, creeds and backgrounds. Gender alone isn't the cause. No one is guilty for being a man or woman.

Originally posted by Druscilla

Originally posted by luciddream
reply to post by Druscilla

 

I guess it would be the same way, if men perfected a in vitro fertilization system to grow babies, then if all females die off it would not be a problem. Men will probably be more sane and less territorial if there is no females to protect!

Bzzzt! Nope. Wrong.
Go visit a prison.

Prisons with 100% male populations are some of the most violent, unhappy places on earth, and that where all the inhabitants are prohibited from having weapons and under constant watch a guard.
When men can't rape women, they start raping each other, forcing their victims into a projection of female servitude as their b**ch.

An unregulated overwhelming majority male population implodes into violence and self destruction.

What, you mean a place that houses violent and dangerous criminals is going to have a lot of violence and be an unhappy place, how shocking. Using the actions of convicted criminals as a barometer of how all of the male population will act isn't exactly an apt comparison imo.

reply to post by LesMisanthrope


Yep.

( I am not in any way belittling your comments, you summed up my thoughts regarding this entire issue. this is just my way of "trying" to get flagged for making one liners, it is meant to give smylee a laugh).

Originally posted by Starwise
EVERY 2 minutes, someone is sexually assaulted. EVERY 2 MINUTES!!!!!

In the United States?..

No surprise. Sex is praised above all, and sells. People get that in their mindset from young age.

It will NOT get better by throwing the book and certain young males.

FACT FACT FACT.