Manic/Psycotic episode on ATS

The OPs story reminds me of Don Quixote
Thanks for the good read OP
I think the moral of this story is that people really need the 7-8 hour sleep per day
stay healthy and rest well

reply to post by stirling


stirling - man I have to say. i can completely relate as well.
that story about the dog milk, i shared it with my family. honestly it had us rolling on the floor laughing. oh my oh my! i hope you write stories for a living.

back to subject (to the author of thread) Samuelis... i am very proud and happy to see you recovering so well! i have had my own "crazy" moments and struggles... your message was extremely encouraging. without opening up too much your message may have helped bring me to enough reality to seek help. thank you; i honestly mean this. i hope i can write you in the near future about some similarities...

Be blessed.

Originally posted by Samuelis
Thanks for posting, When I was unwell. I had managed to memorize a few De La Soul songs

Hey Samuelis, I can report almost identical experiences. Yes to extreme creativity and expertise, superhuman feats. And does this story below seem a bit familiar?

R. Crumb, [THE RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE OF PHILIP K. DICK]

Here's a bunch of random info about Kundalini/Bipolar/Insomnia episodes. Might work for others.

First, these episodes might be entirely triggered by sleep deprivation, then kept going by insomnia. Nothing to do with drugs or anything else: just get heavily involved in some intense project and try to avoid sleep. If true, this is critical information, because you'll never experience another episode if you never try to remain awake for many days continuous. (Then, are you truly bipolar? Or just vulnerable to sleep-deprivation psychosis which started self-kindling?)

During this mental state you're *incredibly* sensitive to diet. The delusional/darkness/psycho aspect is immensely reduced by adopting an extreme diet such as Paleo (caveman). Vegetarian works, especially raw diet, but doesn't seem a strict requirement. Bread seems to push you psycho, also cheese, and any food which is stale or slightly decayed. Highly processed food does it (I guess bread is the first ancient highly processed food.) Yet a serving of yoghurt, beer, wine carries no bad result, despite being fermented. And with practice you can identify good/bad foods by "feel," without having to actually eat them to discover any bad results.

During this particular type of hypomania state, you aren't truly insomniac. Instead, you simply can't sleep for any hours-long stretches, but instead start to slip into a fast-cycling napping pattern. Unfortunately it's easy to create REM-deprivation by continuous forced wakefulness, added with being unable to sleep at night. But this only happens if you ignore that you suddenly become sluggish and drained every few hours, then it passes. If you lie down and close eyes during the sluggish feeling, you go instantly into vivid dreaming sleep, then wake up with a burst of energy (sleeping for 10min, or 30min, or sometimes 30sec.) Brief naps and you're fully refreshed as if you'd slept all night. Hours later it happens again. By taking that sluggish feeling very seriously, and always napping briefly when it appears, you find that nearly all of the delusional state is removed, yet all the high-confidence, high-creativity (and food-sensitivity) remains. You end up sleeping a couple hours per day total. Look up "Uberman sleep" and "polyphasic sleep" for groups of people who attempt to trigger this mental-hyper state intentionally.

To escape from the hypo-mania trap, just wait for a few weeks, and it slowly eases off unless you carefully keep it going. Or the quick way: slowly start eating bad American-type junk food. Do this over several days, lose all your creativity, and end up back in the dull gray world with 8hr nightly sleeps. Then pop back to the raw-foods diet, otherwise you may end up in depression that equals the mania.

Why would anyone want to trigger off a weeks-long episode of bipolar mania by indulging in intentional sleep-deprivation?!! Ask Nikola Tesla. Edison. Picasso. Triggered hypomania seems to be one route to unlocking superhuman mental powers and creative genius, as well as inexplicable events and strings of coincidence that can terrify any onlookers. And don't just use it to memorize albums, instead listen to instruments in your head playing new music which never existed before, and get it down on paper. But it requires figuring out how to climb the "mountain" while taking a path to avoid falling off hidden precipices which put you in the hospital. Diet and brief napping might go far to keep you from being smashed at the base of a cliff.

"When attempting to remain awake continuously, to restore your powers, sit down and hold a pie pan full of coins in the air. Close your eyes and sleep, and the crash of the dropped pie pan will wake you." Was that Picasso's secret? Or handed down by Leonardo DaVinci? Ah, but that's just the instruction on how to first enter the "world of the Hero" without hitting any full-blown mania. Once the insomnia-napping cycle takes you over, no more pie pans needed.

Originally posted by okyouwin
reply to post by Samuelis

 

So what, you on ,medication? You just licked the whole thing on your own? What the"""? Cause you seemed far out there. I don't know this just seems a little incomplete. Not saying this is all bull, but you are pretty heavy on the details of your insanity, and pretty light on the cure. There is also a little bit of connection with your involvement with conspiracy forums and alternative thinking inciting this episode. If there were no heavy drugs or alcohol involved with this, and you think you have licked her on you own, you probably haven't. you might want to get some professional help. Then there is always the possibility you are just writing a story.

Basicly, except not on my own. I was lucky to have an amazing network of family and friends around me.

I used the medication to bring me back to reality which took around 2-4 followed by 2 or so weeks of intense depression and suicidal thoughts. It really has been a 12 month recovery to be at the point where I can dicuss it without an overwhelming sense of doom. Music was a large part of my delusions and I would have problems with music bringing back memories from the episode that would haunt me. It wasn't easy. But eventually I got here.

Just wanted to post.

I too have had two episodes relating to sleep deprivation induced psychosis (no history of Mania or Depression before hand). Both events were triggered by horrible incidents, after which something just stopped me from sleeping. I literally couldn't sleep for weeks, then something would snap inside, and well the "adventure" would begin.

Tons of similar experiences from the OP and those in the thread.

-Usually my psychosis would peak with me following "signs" and synchronicity events. Which oddly enough happen more so during said periods. The amount of synchronicity was very eerie as if reality was locked into it, or that I was just more aware of it. It was as if I was being led some place. It was always a positive feeling trying to get there (like I was looking for "heaven on earth").

- Sun Gazing. Literally every day I would make an effort to look directly into the sun, and felt energy from it. I didn't learn it was a real practiced thing until early this year while researching "psychosis and staring in the sun." I would also do the same with lamp lights and the moon, but the sun was something different. It's still crazy that Sun Gazing is a real practiced meditation ritual that I would love to practice again.

- A sense of telepathy. Reading and Feeling emotions. It was really uncanny. Not just with Humans, but more so with Animals. During one of the events, I lived near the ocean, and would find myself going to the beach for sunrise, and walking in the wooded area next to the beach and would walk upon animals with no fear (trust me, unlike me and odd to walk right near a Deer at dawn, without the Deer running away).

- Time slowing down (saw and avoided a car accident, Since I was blocked by a guard rail on my left and a big rig on my right, I quickly had to speed towards the flipping car to get in front of the big rig to change lane before said flipping car smacked me on the highway. It happened in slow motion).

- Heightened ability in Music and Art. Heightened ability in understanding song lyrics and universal messages found in movies, books, art, so on. It's was almost as if the psychosis was locked into a true understanding of what art is. The oddest part was stringing guitars in oddest ways, that were playable (a few of my guitar playing friends were shocked to see this, and my new found ability to play, when I wasn't proficient before hand). I've composed many musical pieces then that I can not even duplicate now.

- Both events had a very spiritual feeling to them. It wasn't any one Religion per say, but a melding of all religions and sciences, feeling wise. While following "signs" to find my "heaven," at times it would feel as if I was searching for Edan, or a Mt. Olympus. My goal was always to find a perfect ending, like if I could navigate through an unwritten maze, I'd find my utopia. This was also mixed with a sense that the world was ending, and would be ending soon (sort of a back theme to my journey).

- I was highly suggestive to others (in sort of a teacher sort of way). Sounds odd, but I had some followers here and there, include one of my Mother's co-workers (a math teacher, who was fascinated by my theories on math during said time).

- I was almost never hungry, but would only eat small meals here or there (sometimes I would force myself to eat), but when I did the tastes were incredibly heightened (much like my other senses during said time). During the episode I would loss a lot of extra weight, but was also was more active (and oddly enough more athletic(doing push ups, sit ups to release extra energy).

I could go on, but I will not steal the thread's thunder.

All of my experiences were always non violent, but usually ended with me in a hospital. My family never understood what I was going through, and were always scared about it (so much so that during my last experience they called a ambulance on me and I was involuntarily committed). The hospitals were like prisons, and never once did the Doctors ever try and understand what caused my psychosis (sleep deprivation). They locked me in a room, and wouldn't let me out until I agreed to taking their medication.

I was labeled Bi-Polar 1 and the whole hospital experience was inhumane and shocking to say the least. Keep in mind, before my family called the ambulance on me during said "Mania" I was working a full time job, had my own apartment, wasn't making any crazy life threatening (to myself or others) decisions (like spending vast sums of money, so forth) and neither my boss or co-workers could tell a difference, only finding out when I was held in the hospital against my will for 3 weeks, that anything was wrong.

I'm medicine free now (over 2 years), and still do not suffer from Depression or Mania. But I do know that if I encountered a very stressful event that stops my sleeping I will contact my doctor accordingly to receive the proper sleeping aid(s). I know the events I experienced sound crazy, but I found (other then my families treatment of me and the hospitals treatment of me), both events to be extremely positive and eye opening to human condition, and what we might be capable of as a species. If only it could be controlled.

reply to post by Samuelis

¡sʞuıoz ˙ʇɹɐdɐ sǝǝɹƃǝp 081 ʎןǝʇǝןdɯoɔ suoıʇɔǝɹıp ʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp uı spɐǝɥ ʇǝʎ puɐ punoɹƃ ǝɥʇ uo pǝʇuɐןd ʎןɯɹıɟ ʇǝǝɟ oʍʇ ɥʇıʍ ƃuıpuɐʇs ɥʇoq ˙ɥʇnos ǝɥʇ oʇ pɐǝɥ ɹıǝɥʇ ɥʇıʍ dn puɐʇs ǝɹǝɥdsıɯǝɥ uɹǝɥʇnos ǝɥʇ uı ǝןdoǝd ǝןıɥʍ ɥʇɹou ǝɥʇ oʇ pɐǝɥ ɹıǝɥʇ ɥʇıʍ dn puɐʇs ǝɹǝɥdsıɯǝɥ uɹǝɥʇɹou ǝɥʇ uı ǝןdoǝd ˙ʎןןɐɹnʇɐu ɹɐןodıq sı ʎpoqʎɹǝʌǝ ʞuıɥʇ ı

reply to post by Samuelis


Hell, this is Wednesday for me.

Maybe I need to call someone?

reply to post by Samuelis


Rofl....so you slam DUNKED a basketball..and from there made your escape? That was probably the most creative way to escape in style. You could have just climbed the basketball pole, but no...you had to dunk a basketball before doing so. Lmfao

reply to post by Ewok_Boba


I didn't dunk a bball. Just jumped and hung off the ring. There was no pole, obviously that would make it too easy to escape. It was mounted on the wall. It was removed from the outside area when I returned from my escape. Normally would have no hope of touching the ring at my height.

I'm a young adult who during the past three years had a near death experience followed by multiple stays in mental hospitals and a bipolar diagnosis...

I was one of the smartest kids in a class of over 2,000 in high school, scored a 1400/1600 on SAT, was in the highest classes, but had average grades because I never did homework and really didn't care about school. I was suspended multiple times and was always in trouble, but usually avoided the principal, so it accumulated to the point where i had inschool suspension and detention every day of the last month of my senior year. Never went to any of them, still graduated. My fourth quarter average was something like 35. Was also athletic and a starter on the varsity baseball team as well as a member of the top summer travel team in my area...

Also loved partying, and was a an alcoholic/ daily pot smoker by the time I was 17.

All of this success led to a huge ego and an assumption that I could easily make a living as a creative writer. Never took college seriously, and the only school I applied to was University of Sunshine Coast in Australia to which I was accepted. Eventually abandoned that plan.

Anyway, I was involved in a car accident the summer after graduating and was seriously injured. In the hospital it happened to be "2012 week" on discovery channel. I started seeing everything as signs from God, and my mind started a run away track that culminated in a manic episode where after a few days of no sleep, and no food other than beer, I was arrested for causing a scene at a supermarket where I was demanding a refund for expired beer as a 19 year old. (Date on case ended up being sell by, not expiration, so it wasn't even expired. Funny part was watching the staff hustle to get stacks of fine beer to the back.) This manic episode was characterized by religious obsession.

So at that point I spent two weeks in a hospital, where my mood shifted from euphoric mania to nervous breakdown. Within weeks of leaving the hospital I stopped taking meds, and that fall I stopped going to school at the local community college and failed all my classes in my third semester after having two semesters on the deans list. Instead of college I focused on writing my first novel, which included Reptilians, pervasive government surveillance, corporate conspiracy, and a super psychic upper class. When I first outlined the novel, I had done zero research on these subjects and wasn't aware that people actually believed in a reptilian conspiracy. To me it was just a cool idea, I called them Raptors. I also wrote a lot of lyrics, about 50 songs in two months.

The following spring I stopped writing and instead decided to put mental theory into action and left my house with the goal of climbing the highest mountain in New York State (Mt. Marcy), then building a raft and riding the Hudson River to NYC where I would become the greatest artist of the world. To me this was totally realistic. I left on foot from Albany, Mt. Marcy is 150 miles away, and had no supplies. I made it 40 miles in one night, until I got to Saratoga and decided to check myself into their mental health unit.

This is a long post, doubt people will read it, but I'm enjoying writing it as a reflective exercise....

Around that time I learned that my stepfather had raped my little sister and was faced with a personal crisis. My response was largely blaming my mother and couldn't let go of a conspiracy theory that she and my sister were lying because they just didn't wan the guy around anymore. (He has been sentenced to 15 years recently)

During 2011 I had four separate stays in two different mental hospitals, the most recent being in December after leaving my house on foot planning to walk to NYC. I was on medication for a month but have not taken any since January.

In May of this year I left my house planning on living in the Adirondack wilderness all summer as a way of continuing my mental development as it relates to spirituality. This time, I made it about 60 miles to Lake George before having my Dad come pick me up. Never went to the hospital.

Every day I fantasize about leaving with no supplies and going to the mountains. Or New York City. I haven't worked in three years now (no official work with paycheck), but am convinced that I am developing mentally in a way that will allow me unlimited success in the future. As I perceive it my main challenge is dealing with the drive to experience life at it's highest level while surrounded by people content with mediocrity, or otherwise cynical toward achievement.

Still think I'm one of the world's great artists, and still spend time doubting that belief in intense depressive states. My writing output this year has been OK, not great, but I feel like I'm not quite ready to write a masterpiece because my mind is still somewhat clogged.

Love to hear your thoughts on all that if you got the stomach to read it...

reply to post by MassOccurs


Very interesting. It's remarkable how many of us suffer from sleep disruption (caused by a trauma of some type) that proceeds said events. It also begs the question, why are Psychiatrists not rooting out issues of the sleep disruption instead of blanket medicating? I find Melatonin to be very helpful when I encounter bouts of insomnia, but never once heard a Psychiatrist bring it up. I wonder why?

My only suggestion would be to try and eliminate the alcohol and certain strains of the green stuff if possible. Alcohol is a depressant. Certain strains of the green stuff are stimulants that sort of induce mania if your not careful, so avoid them if your susceptible (I can't mention what strains really due to ATS rules).

Many that experience these states have depression of some sort, or on going issues between the mania of depression, so it's best to avoid such triggers like depressants or stimulants . I could go into more, but I find this to be a very personal discussion. If you have any specific questions my PM is always open.

Although being labeled as Bi-Polar 1, both of my experiences were because of sleep deprivation. I've been off medication for over 2 years now, and have not once suffered any bouts of depression or Mania despite the affirmation that I would need to medicated for my life.

The main problem is the Doctors are so quick to label and medicate, and bill insurance companies instead of spending time understanding what is occurring and actually understanding the root causes for said ailments. "Group Think" deciding "ailments" to label in the DSM VI is not science. Considering that there's an ailment for almost everyone, I can see how this unchecked "science" is sort of a failure.

I think someone linked this in the thread before, but I'll link it as well and I suggest all that have experiences to at least to watch a few of these videos:

www.youtube.com...

It's an interesting take on things. It's an alternative way of looking at the states involved in this thread and there are Alternative Psychiatrists out there looking to help if we just look for them...

In today's world, like in past societies, it's rather risky to have these experiences, in that most of the Psychiatry world is so quick to medicate without understanding the pathology that causes the states. I can't stress that enough. There are no medical tests that can determine a chemical imbalance, nor are there any cures in Psychiatry.

It's sort of an unchecked pseudo science that's highly tied with the Pharmaceutical industry. The money gained from it's operation has given it complete control over everyone's Mental Health. It's powerful and rather sad. Granted, it could be worse for us. Just a quick glance of the history of Psychiatry is eye opening and sort of alarming. It doesn't help the rest of society which still holds an openly accepted prejudice of mental disorders is all for it.

Do Mental Illnesses/ emergencies exist? Yes they do, but it doesn't help that the Mental Health Industry and Psychiatry is sick and broken. At this point, one day all citizens will either be medicated or in Jail.

www.youtube.com...

I wonder what's going in the brain that enables psychosis.

Fortunately i don't, AFAIK, suffer from any diagnosed psychological problems but i have had episodes that would probably be classified as psychosis if i were conscious. I sleepwalk occasionally and have four or five times in the past, while sleepwalking, attempted to break a window because i was convinced that the building was on fire.

It's a very scary experience, i snap out of it when I start punching the window, unless i can open it in which case i'll try to jump. In one occasion i was held back halfway out the window.

It's such an intense experience and so real. When you wake up your heart is pounding, can't breath, it's awful.

You take a dream state to be reality. I wonder if psychosis, as described by the OP, has a similar cause but is more embedded in day-to-day life - a partial dream state if you will.

reply to post by squidboy


Yeah I really have a hard time accepting medication. Seems to me like metnal health establishment is sort of taking the easy way out and accepting a lot of profits in the process.

reply to post by Samuelis


Thank you for sharing a brilliant summary of how a psychotic manic episode gradually escalates. This is a wonderful way for people to be able to understand. After all, it can happen to any one of us at any time if the right negative triggers occur in life.

This is data mining...Tell a story that relates to as many conspiracies as possible, try to relate to the mentally ill on a personal level.
"Man, I've Been There, Too."
Ask them to share their story of mental illness, log and catalog.
Be sure to mention that violent behavior is acceptable to disclose too.
Wow, some people are really blind to these tactics.
I encourage all to read up on how people mine for information on forums like this one.
This is textbook

Originally posted by reverandrandy
This is data mining...Tell a story that relates to as many conspiracies as possible, try to relate to the mentally ill on a personal level.
"Man, I've Been There, Too."
Ask them to share their story of mental illness, log and catalog.
Be sure to mention that violent behavior is acceptable to disclose too.
Wow, some people are really blind to these tactics.
I encourage all to read up on how people mine for information on forums like this one.
This is textbook

I guess that makes some sense, but what if a person's condition is already documented by a hospital? Seems rather pointless for an agency to mine for data when it's already on the books... I guess hypothetically it could be mining for data of those who were never hospitalized and outside of said system.

Personally, as I posted on this thread, I have nothing to hide from my past experiences and feel just like OP presented, it's good to try and get a story out there. Those who can relate can relate, and those who do not understand might gain some much needed empathy and understanding.

The violent aspect is interesting addition and sort of points to the validity of your statements. I've never been a violent individual (even when in psychosis, on the contrary in fact that). I always felt during episodes that I wanted to help everyone out in some way. I never felt empathy and caring for strangers as powerfully before).

Statistics show that most people that suffer from these ailments are not violent (unless of course anti-depressants are introduced which has a history or causing violence and suicidal behavior). I do however see a trend of equated mental illness with violence in the media... It's sad and almost becoming a modern day witch hunt of sorts.

When you look at the history of Psychiatry and its relationship to Eugenics and currently the Pharmaceutical power structure, it's good for more people to get both sides of the story even when it's a small audience like this thread. If that means me giving up part of my privacy willingly so others have more of an understanding of what occurs during an episode, so be it.

If this were some kind of data mining and it could prevent a mass shooting, then I'm for it.

I have no gripes with being a subject of study.

Privacy is the most overrated thing going.

Originally posted by MassOccurs
If this were some kind of data mining and it could prevent a mass shooting, then I'm for it.

I have no gripes with being a subject of study.

Privacy is the most overrated thing going.

I have no problem with being part of an open, healthy discussion. However, Privacy is something that should never be taken away from involuntarily. I gave up my personal story here voluntarily. I think there is rather a big difference between the two...

Equating Bi-Polar and Schizophrenia to violent mass murderers is rather a huge leap . Of course there are violent people who have mental issues, just like there are sane people who are violent. I've seen this correlation of mental health being used with the recent tragedies more and more lately.

On the first day of the Aurora incident, they were already declaring the man Bi-Polar or Schizophrenic via the media, without one shred of evidence. Again, a rather bold step.

Two questions?

Why do they never declare innocence when pleading insanity if it's a mental issue? More often then not, it is often a useless argument in the courts.

How many people commit mass murders per year? Less then a handful perhaps?

57.7 million Americans-experience a mental health disorder in a given year

www.nami.org...

So a couple incidents here and there, when there are approximately 57,000,000 affected individuals.

If there was a correlation between the two then there would be many more incidents, don't you think?

Seems, an easy ploy to a) take away more freedoms for that specific population. b) Make the public afraid of said individuals (which is factual). c) Basically force medication or hospitalization on said individuals.

Privacy is not an overrated.

It's a horrible incident, but honestly you have a better chance of being struck by lightning than being killed by a Schizophrenic during a mass murder spree.

Personally, I think we should be data mining the Pharmaceutical Companies and Pharmacists for back room dealings. It doesn't help that a majority of these incidents involve anti-depressants. Perhaps investigate that correlation?

I wish those industries had more checks and balances more though then data mining for sick people to possibly imprison or forcefully medicate.

Are you renouncing the entire Indigo thread?

reply to post by reverandrandy


I tend to disagree. I speak openly of my own mental health issues here and in real life. In my opinion open discussion of this subject is NECESSARY in our society so that we can educate people to the reality of mental illness and the lack of mental health care in society - and get rid of the stigma that goes along with saying "I guess we've reached the point where I should mention that I have PTSD and am bipolar...."

~Heff