Last year I was unlucky enough to suffer a manic episode with a psycosis that lasted for 6 weeks, and ended up hospitalising me for 7 days in maximum
security at Hobart Royal Hospital.
At the time I was jobless, and it was a long dark depressive winter in Tasmania, and my partner went on a holiday with her family for 2 months around
Europe. Around 2 weeks in I became completely fixated on ATS and global new's events to such a degree that I didn't sleep for 5 or so days. I [SNIP]
and ate next to nothing other than macdonalds and junk food.
I created this thread while I was fairly manic and dillusional. It's actually very easy to tell I wasn't well. As the thead goes on I get worse and
The day the cracks began to appear I arrived at the airport to greet my partners family, and realised that I had odd shoes on. The decent from there
was very slow and very steady.
I began waking at 3:33 everymorning in cold sweats, I became irratable and very short tempered with my friends and my partner. At this point I began
listening to binaural beats in my sleep and was staring at a candle for 30 mins every day (to crack the pineal).
One day I stood up from the computer, I got dressed into my old work clothes from my previous Insurance job and began doorknocking all local business'
with an amount of confidence and fearlessness that is just not me or my normal personality.
This is where things get a bit weird.
My perception of time had slowed right down. Time felt slower. I could have a discussion with 3 different people at once, and remember where I was in
each conversation. I could focus on individual rain drops while driving 120k'sph while it felt like I was driving 60. Music and colour became
amazingly vivid. I felt invincible. I was fast, organised, confident and on top of the world. But the body can only handle this state for so
I began believing almost anything that was presented to me. Suffering from delusions of granduer, might have had a short period of believing I was
Jesus. Would not shower or drink water under the belief that fluoride was killing me slowly, so I was looking dirty and skinny and very wired.
I would see syncronicity in almost everything I did, song track time lengths & lyrics, 11:11, 2:22 and so on and so on.
My partner left for work one morning and I packed my bags and left. I drove my car to the airport and flew to Townsville where I stayed at the Jupiter
hotel. I told noone where I had gone. I spent and gave away my entire life savings. I gave $500 to an aboriginal lady down the main street. I gave my
raybans to a kid. I donated to every single charity I could find.
I somehow latched onto the new age theory about the electro magnetic grid framwork of earth that is to be completed this year to ascend to the next
I spotted a black hawk helicopter flying up home hill in townsville. I dressed in all red, and ran to the top of the mountain to do battle with the
evil elites trying to complete the final piece of this grid that would have the entire human race enslaved. Red so that the martians would think I was
one of them... hmm.
I climbed to the top of the mountain, and then jumped the barbedwire fence, and then climbed up the radio tower, so damn high I wasn't even scared of
heights like usual. I took a large metal support bar from the dish on top and began carrying it down the mountain. Before long I am walking down the
side of a tropical mountain in the pitch black dark in shorts and t shirt. Enormous Spider webs shining in the moonlight in front of me at every turn
(normally very fearful of spiders) not a problem in this state. I managed to safely find my way down the wrong side of the mountain, that had many
cliff's and shear drops. I took the peice of antenna back to jupiters hotel and was detained by hotel staff trying to sneek the 10ft support bar into
Anyway, a week or so later I was found in a strangers back yard in only my undies rolling around in the dirt. I was eating worms and crying quietly to
myself. The nice owner told me I would be ok, and called the ambulance. Next thing I know 2 police officers grab me and hold me down. I jumped up and
push one officer to the ground and turned to battle the second. I remember clearly at this time looking at the officers gun, and making a move to grab
it. I had managed to convince myself that these police were corrupt reptillians coming for me because I was the antichrist.
Anways, being forcfully medicated in a straight jacket and then pissing myself in my sleep was the most sobering experiece in my entire life. I
managed to slam dunk a basketball ring outside (im 5ft 10) and climb through the hoop, then along the window frames to the window, jumped out a 2
story window and landed on the footpath amongst people. I just ran. I made it back to my partner, who after an hour or two of dicussion, convinced me
to go back to hospital.
Anyways, Today one year on I am no longer depressed, I have an excellent full-time job, I'm healthy and my partner managed to keep loving me through
the entire thing. I guess im pretty lucky.
Very interested in hearing some other members stories about mental illness. I figure that the only way to help remove the stigma surrounding mental
health is to have healthy discussion about how it can happen and how to react when face to face with someone manic or suffereing from psycosis.
Just because your mentally ill doesn't make you dangerous. Just because your dangerous doesnt make you mentally ill.
Also if anyone is struggeling with depression or anxiety or bi-polar and are needing some advice I am here to answer anything.
Thanks for reading this far.
edit on 8-8-2012 by Samuelis because: title change
Mod Edit: Please review this link
edit on 8/8/2012 by kosmicjack because: Removed