The Iraq War Ruined My Life.

Originally posted by CrimsonKapital
reply to post by usmc0311

 

Now this might seem a little insensitive here, but whilst the Iraq war may have ruined your life, do you know how many lives YOU ruined?

That I could not answer. Maybe a few, maybe not. I do know that I did do good things for many people over there. I also know with 100% certainty that I never killed, or wounded, a women, child, or innocent civilian. Actually the most civilians I saw wounded and killed were from enemy IED attacks and enemy ambushes.

The depleted uranium (DU) issue reminds me of Gulf War Syndrome. No one wants to talk about it or acknowledge it, but it is very real nonetheless.

I'm a veteran. I'm a patriot. I had recently thought about re-enlisting but decided not to. Stories like this, though sad and disappointing, confirm my decision not to go back into the service as a good choice.

Hope you find peace marine.

Originally posted by skitzspiricy

Originally posted by CrimsonKapital
reply to post by usmc0311

 

Now this might seem a little insensitive here, but whilst the Iraq war may have ruined your life, do you know how many lives YOU ruined?

Wow, kick a broken man when he is already down, real nice

-------------------------------------------------------------

To usmc0311, keep talking, don't bottle it up inside. Don't give up, keep fighting for your rights as a veteran who served your country. You deserve to be helped.

edit on 5-5-2012 by skitzspiricy because: (no reason given)

Thanks. I will just keep my head up and keep pushing forward because that's what Marines do. I will find the help I need even if I have to extract it myself. I just never thought the fight at home would outweigh the fight on the battlefield.

I see some members are calling B.S. on the O.P.'s story but I will second his experience as hauntingly similar to my own concerning V.A. They are overwhelmed with returning vets but even before our current conflicts they sucked in the mental health department. Nothing but pills and more pills.

IMO, my service was to evil and contributed nothing positive to the world. I didn't believe that at the time but that is my opinion in hindsight. One of the most frustrating things I experienced after my service was watching society continue to glamorize war and incentivize service in the armed forces. Even here and now with so many lies about our government exposed and our Constitution shredded, we still have a large portion of our population that supports this never-ending "War on Terror".

I hope you find your way back to a decent life. Don't give up, get and stay sober, and don't forget: "It's just a ride".

Originally posted by Rosha
reply to post by usmc0311

 

Been through a different war..same process tho...I feel for you mate. I wanted to say something..slow and clear..it probably wont stick in for some time yet but I think given where you are at, its important to say.

I want you to know that YOU are not the one with the problem. You are the unfortunate recipient of the terrible consequences of someone elses problem.

That little sentance can save you a lifetime of self abuse and self pity if you want it to.

Dont wait for gov to help.they wont....dont wait for friends to understand..they cant..if you want to recover your sense of soldiity then just put one boot in front of the other and keep walking. Follow your gut...look after YOU...eat good food..get plenty of rest...WRITE a lot...use your good reason..you've got a good mind...dare I say even better now you're seeing things outside of the illusion.

You cant have been there and back again without knowing as well as I do that there is more to this show than meets the eye...so when you can..stand back up....trust god..clean house..and more importantly, act on what you know...take the steps you already know you have to. Through really is the only way.

The only thing you can change about any of this is your attitude....and this entire experience wont be wasted if you've learnt better about what is and what is not from it. The "waste", if there is going to be one..will be *your* choice. As a marine..you know you can make better choices than that...there's always another option.

I realise how presumptive this post is..if you have no idea what Im saying..thats ok..dont worry..Im just a blip...but if it rings true..know your not alone...there's loads of us neck deep in the river..when you can..wave n say hi...you might be surprised who's swiming beside you.

It does get better..even THIS sh*t passes...even chaos ..ends.

SF



Ro

edit on 5-5-2012 by Rosha because: editing...what else?

I think I understand what your saying. Thank you. Your words were especially helpfull.

reply to post by usmc0311


Dear USMC0311, I read your post and really feel for you. The Iraq war ruined my life too, but in an entirely different way. I think its sick the way our military is treated, after they risked their lives for our country. Then come home with horrible images that they can't erase. I was happy to read at first you got help for ptsd, I keep wishing a dear friend of mine would. Then I was horrified, but not too surprised to hear your experience with it. I guess the VAs crappy care goes out in every direction.

When I get a chance and my hands on a computer (using my phone) I'll private message you. I might have a few resources you are not aware of. I did research to get my friend help.

Glad you have your daughter. I'll be praying for you.

Miss Sile

I really hope you find peace in life, man...I've known a few vets from the war, and I can say that your story is more common than it should be. Nobody (myself included) who hasn't been there can possibly understand what you're going through - it's just unfortunate that your family doesn't get it.

If I have one piece of advice though, I'd say to try and not make the drinking thing a habit. I've known a few alcoholics, as well as having nearly gone off the edge myself - and most of the time you can't even see it coming.

Take care, brother.

Originally posted by usmc0311
Are there any other veterans on here who have had simaler problems?

Yes.

Air Force rescue firefighter/EMT 1998-2009. Seven tours of duty to warzones, four tours in Iraq. Medically retired after experiencing some extreme situations and being too close to stuff that went boom a few too many times. Diagnosed with ptsd, tbi, and schizoaffective disorder, none of which existed prior to service. Some of which I don't believe exist now, especially the schizoaffective disorder.... BUT... if the government wants to pay me an extra grand a month for agreeing with their diagnosis then who am I to say no? And my denying it is just one of the symptoms of schizoaffective disorder, apparently.. and we can't argue with that logic.

In the course of my 3+ years in warzones my sense garnered experiences most people have little basis for comparison with when attempting to wrap their minds around. Something happens within when one's own "reflexes" become diametrically opposed to the instinct of self preservation.

These are some of my thoughts right now. I've got stuff to do, and will be back later perhaps to share some more.

Originally posted by sparrowstail
Reading your story; it echos what is taking place in Canada. It is shameful. I really liked the idea to mobilize yourself with other mistreated Vets. Give yourselves the help you are being denied. Plus, together, your voices will be louder and the message will be sent that your gov. doesn't give a crap about your safety and welfare, on foreign or domestic soil. I am discouraged by the propaganda messages put ot by the tyrants. This one below is so well done it sounds like a movie production of Marvel X-Men with all the heavy base sounds and High Definition images of the latest and greatest tech. This is what really annoyed me though, the narrator saying,

"And when the time comes they are the first to move towards the sounds of tyranny, injustice, and despair."

They left out the part that the tyranny, injustice and despair they are having to move towards is in Washington, on Parliament Hill.

I wish you the best in finding the support and help you and many let down others deserve.

edit on 5-5-2012 by sparrowstail because: (no reason given)

I actually know some Marines that participated in that commercial. Many agree that their aim should be on Washington as well. I would love to see someone take those commercials and edit them to be running towards the whitehouse and the capital building. Thanks for the post.

Originally posted by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep


Op, I feel for you mate, and I wish you all the best in trying to figure out your next step.
Godspeed.

vvv

edit on 5-5-2012 by VreemdeVlieendeVoorwep because: (no reason given)

Thank you, and congrats on that awsome jump last week. that looked like so much fun.

reply to post by smyleegrl


First of all thank you for your kind words. I am so sorry you have had those experiences. I have been on Paxil, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, and another I cant remember, maybe prozac. They all just made me feel like a sick zombie all the time.

Are you familiar with the medication Clonidine? It's an older med, been available for decades, and is generally used to treat blood pressure. However, Clonidine has recently been used, successfully, in treating PTSD. It soothes the area of the brain affected by PTSD, thereby reducing symptoms. You might want to research Clonidine and consider giving it a try.

This I have just become familiar with recentely through this site.stressproject.org...
I asked the doctor at the VA about it and he claimed to not know a thing and just brushed it off but I am going to find a doctor around here with knowledge of it and possibly give it a try.

I don't keep a journal but I do write alot. Usually end up burning it afterwards but it does help. Again thank you for the info and the support.

reply to post by Dustytoad


I'm sorry your going through rough times too. Sounds like you might have been dealt a bad hand. U2U me if you ever need to talk about it.

Originally posted by scoodoo20
reply to post by usmc0311

 

I wont get into my issues with the VA or my PTSD but after dealing with both for several years after service I decided to look elsewhere for help and came across the new techniques being used to help PTSD. It saved my life and i have never heard anybody who has gone through such treatment say that it did not help. Please look into this:

www.brainspotting.pro...

Thank you for posting that. I will deffinitely take a look at it when I get some time today.

Originally posted by Salamandy
Your a brave dude OP.

I think soldiers will continue to feel this way as long as we send them to war due to political posturing and not out of self defense.

I think your absolutely right. The only question is when will there be enough to instill the change needed.

Originally posted by eyesinthesky
i have been in the shadows of this site for years....i registered finally just to reply to this post...i can honestly tell you that you are not alone there are a vast number of us experiencing the exact same thing..you have figured out that once this government is finished with you your not worth a damn to them, screw your rights, screw your health and screw your opinion. there is a place for people like us....its called the militia...and it isn't about protecting the sheep who you will learn aren't worth protecting. its about protecting ourselves and getting what we gave ourselves to this country for. it is our duty to have the chance that so many paid for in blood, i have alot to say about this...im sorry that you had to learn the truth like you did. i am from your area, and i would welcome a message from you, i am here anytime you need to talk. together we can make it, us veterans have only each other. and if we dont stick together we have failed in our duty. im tired of watching these things happen to my comrades, tired of veterans with no choice other than taking a bullet that would be better used on the ones responsible for our trouble. i for one will never let this governments foolishness defeat me. most of us who served in the middle east wars will most likely die of cancer. and someday they will erect a monument to our failure and recognize us and offer help only after its too late. i better stop before i go off the deep end here......but you have a friend and together we CAN stop this.

Welcome to ATS first and foremost. If you are in my area and involved with the militias we will probably cross paths sooner or later as I am going to join the MI militia as soon as my mental health is stable again.

Hello, I am replying after only reading most of the first page here, so I hope what I say is not covered.

Firstly, you will find your salvation in your own wants. For example, you mentioned service dogs and helping other vets. This is most commendable and a great line of action, and I believe can really help you, and especially if you are struggling financially, as most of us are right now, information is usually free on the internet. Not only that, but just helping vets in your area is easy - just go hang out and talk. Spend $5 and get candy bars and TP and try and find homeless vets in your area, and just go talk and offer some free food. Have you ever heard of Schutzhund? It is extensive guard dog training with Rottweilers, you should really check it out.

Secondly, please dont give up on the VA. I think its great you are going to go there and volunteer, just stick it in their faces!! But my mom works at the VA, and just to present the other side of the story, she just has to follow rules, and gets guys in there saying "Help me now or I will slit your throat you dumb bitch." She explained it best to me this way - the government will help you. You just have to follow their rules and play their games. For example, when they said you couldnt talk to someone until you take pills, agree to that, then dont take the pills, then when you get to talk to the psych again, tell him the pills make you feel suicidal. You just walked away from their game, which is what they want you to do, because then you are out of their hair. If stay and play by their dumb rules, they have to play the game with you. So dont give up, you earned that coverage, dont spurn it unless you can afford something better - which even then, as you found out with your wifes insurance, might not be tailored to your needs as a vet.

I really hate to say this, but those of us who saw this coming 10 years ago were and are called "anti-American", "against the troops", etc. Do you now understand we were never against the troops? We just didnt want them to have to go through this....

Good luck brother, dont give up the fight, that is what they want. They want to use you and throw you away like a broken doll, never let them!

Originally posted by nagabonar
going to war, invading homes and killing some ones father, all to get a big monthly paycheck, is just plain bad.

what goes around that comes around, both on individual and nations scale

on the bright side... nothing which can't be mended, as long we are still alive.

edit on 5-5-2012 by nagabonar because: (no reason given)

You may be right. I did not do anything for the paycheck. But you are entitled to your opinion. Thanks for sharing.

Originally posted by Willbert
OP, I would suggest starting from the ground up. You took the first step and know you want help. The second I would suggest is printing out your post and giving a copy to your family members.

We as men in general do find it difficult to communicate, not by choice.. but by our very nature. Yes, yes.. some have been able to not be the norm.

Would be easier to have it in writing so as not to mix in your mixed emotions when communicating it to loved ones.

Those who read your letter may wish to have you elaborate.. if so.. then find a mutual location, resteraunt... park.. etc..

I will deffinitely take that into consideration. Thank you for that idea.

reply to post by usmc0311


When the 'battlefield' that's now behind you ultimately takes shape as the battlefield you're faced with going forward ... it just makes it that much more difficult to distance ones self from both - past & present.

You seem to have a firm grasp of where you are, where you've been & where you want to go from here - Just Do It.

It's most likely the best foot forward for yourself and others, and your stated desire to volunteer at the local VA speaks volumes with regards overall character and person, in my opinion.

Not only that, but by aiding, assisting and interacting with/helping others you'll likely find it quite therapeutic and 'medicinal', if you will. (?)

Semper Fi,
MARINE.

Originally posted by SeventhSeal
The Iraq war ruined the lives of everyone. Just not everyone realizes it yet...even after the fact that we're broke has been reported over and over.

Add the other wars in the mix and your absolutely right. It's just a shame.