posted on May, 4 2012 @ 06:35 PM
This sadly doesn't surprise me. I have heard similar stories from various friends over the years. I have one friend, a father of 4 who has done 5
tours and has high functioning PTSD, meaning when he is at work he is super soldier, when he comes home at night he locks himself in his bedroom and
drinks himself into oblivion.
The VA is soooo big on the damn meds and it drives me crazy.....even us spouses get shoved that crap. I went to a routine appt while my husband was
down range and they asked me all the standard questions, but the last one was "is your sponsor currently deployed" and when I said "yes" they
asked if I suffered from depression......automatic, like clock work. Yes, it is true many spouses get depressed while the service members are gone,
but Xanax and Paxil are not the end all solution!
What people really need are people who really care. People they can talk to, people who won't judge them or create more anxiety in their heads.
People who are compassionate and above all patient. Veterans have wounds that take time to heal.....there is no "quick fix" for emotional, mental
and physical trauma.....the intensity of your life threatening experiences is not gonna be erased so quickly, but with support of those that care and
stand behind you, your chances get a lot better.
I don't know if you have looked into IAVA or if you are eligible for the military life consultants, but that might be a place to start. my husband
has volunteered with the IAVA guys, and he had nothing but good stuff to say about the group he worked with. He has since given several speeches
advocating for those guys, if you want more info about it, PM me and I'll get you whatever info you need.
You need your family now more than ever and they need to understand even if you can't reach out to them, they should not stop reaching out to you,
often service members put up walls, cause walls keep them safe down range but those walls can be hard to tear down when you get back home.....the
instincts and mind sets that kept you alive are not necessarily the ones that allow you to reintegrate when you get back. And don't even get me
started on the military's reintegration policies and programs......they scratch the surface at best IMO.
I volunteer at the ACS on my post, and I know they offer things to the active duty people, but it seems the vets get shuffled off to VA and that is
the end of the story. It kills me to hear of another person who has to struggle this way.
And FYI markers mark is the drink of choice it seems cause my dad swigs that stuff like its Evian, and he has definetly had one too many deployments
downrange. Guys actually carry flasks and bust them out at barbeques and have their unit emblems engraved on them......it sounds cool, until you
realize just how much they are drinking the stuff. I know why they drink, but the drinking is just a way to cope when really you need someone to show
you better coping skills.....this is what a good therapist is for.
Do not give up looking for someone who can help you, if you are at the point where you are able to talk to a therapist, then you are one step ahead of
a lot of guys. Keeping reaching out, even if it has to be here on ATS, as you can see by the responses to your post, there are people who care.