Your Views On 'Smacking' children.

Originally posted by Indigo5

Originally posted by Deebz


Now at 25 I am without children of my own but I have seen the results of children who are coddled...

This deabte would be much more credible if folks acknowledged that it wasn't a choice between coddling/spoiling children and hitting them. Spoiling your child is not the same as not spanking them and a child who gets spanked can be at the same time spoiled. That should be obvious?..right?

edit on 30-1-2012 by Indigo5 because: (no reason given)

I agree with that and I suppose I am using the word 'coddling' in my own view of the experiences I have been exposed to personally. In my opinion, if a child is hitting you, and all you can think to do is set them down and try talking to them as they continue to scream in your face and hit you, then you are coddling them.

I believe living in this slave state, forces us to correct our children. I am against hitting a child or hurting anyone for that matter, but in this world, if one is to understand to respect authority, it would seem abuse would teach them to be subservient. If your kid is about to stick their finger in the socket, then remove their hand, you don't have to hit them to get the point across. You should have all of your sockets safetied anyways.

reply to post by Magnificient


That is the biggest bunch of horsecrap in the world. Some parents who smack their children do it because that's how they were disciplined, some do it out of stupidity, others do it because they realize that it is sometimes necessary to REALLY get their children's attention when it is important for them to understand something that is beyond their years to understand.

Parents who think that it's NEVER necessary only fall into one of the above categories, anyone care to guess which one? Let me provide a hint, it's after the "how they were disciplined" and before the "...necessary to REALLY get their children's attention".

Jaden

yes chiildren should be spanked and im not talking about a violent or aggressive smack but a smack on the bum isnt wrong kids need discipline or else they turn into your steroytypical dick head of a teenager
and please i know what im talking about im 17 and i used to get a smack on the bum as a kid and im thankful to my parents for that
whenever i have met an adult (scince i was 12 ) they always said i was very mature for my age and easy to talk to
now i dont contribute all of that to my spankings but if i hadn't have been spanked i would have turned out to be a pretty bad egg

The only time I've done it us when they've done something that places themselves or someone else in danger. That was a spank too (and not that hard, really). I can't imagine just smacking my kid when I felt like it. Seems like lazy parenting.

reply to post by ALOSTSOUL


When you spank (not smack) a childs rear it causes an adrenalin rush. When you spank a child (not beat and not kick and not punch) along with telling that child what he/she did wrong reinforces the fact you are trying to get across.

When you abuse a child - you cause a very elevated adrenalin rush which can cause lasting negative mental 'pain.' It can also give them lasting nightmares.

Some parents do not know the difference and takes things way to far. That is why their are strict laws about spanking.

ABSOLUTELY NEVER! Never lay a harsh hand on a child or anyone!

I never did and my grown children are the most kind, loving, thoughtful children anyone could be blessed with.

Im glad my parents slapped we around when I was "out of line" looking back I know I more than deserved it. That now makes me respect my parents more knowing that they were keeping me in line so I could be a better person.

Originally posted by ChuckNasty
reply to post by ALOSTSOUL

 

When you spank (not smack) a childs rear it causes an adrenalin rush. When you spank a child (not beat and not kick and not punch) along with telling that child what he/she did wrong reinforces the fact you are trying to get across.

When you abuse a child - you cause a very elevated adrenalin rush which can cause lasting negative mental 'pain.' It can also give them lasting nightmares.

Some parents do not know the difference and takes things way to far. That is why their are strict laws about spanking.

I think that you are right about the Adrenaline rush. Which can either lead to an adrenaline junkie and mainfest in either a need for daredevil antics or abuse of drugs, women and so on.

David Lammy knew full well the impact of making such a statement, these people or rather MPs live in a bubble, they are assimilated into a world of potential gain , be it from lobbying firms , business etc , this sound bite culture is fed by MPs who need to be on the radar , they are no better than the B list celebrities who appear in the trashy weekly lifestyle magazines. The british electorate deserve all they get , for not waking up decades ago to the daily game that is Parliament.........the mother of all parliaments , the Lords in the house of Lords pick up £300 pounds a day for signing in and this is called democracy.

The banksters need a bloody good smacking.........smacking with long jail sentences for a start. I was smacked as a child , I have never broken the law , don't do drugs but I think the same would be If I was not smacked

My sister's kids are not spanked.. and they are emotional and physical terrorists.. evil children.. I know I shouldn't say that.. but god damn it those children are evil. My brother's kids were spanked and they are so much more behaved.. they still act out some.. but not anymore than most kids.

i'm sure genetics could be some part of that.. but just my observation.

It all depends on how you want the world to turn out.

If you want it to be a violent, chaotic place like it is now, the by all means, beat your kids up every chance you get.


But if you want it to change at some point, then take the higher ground and resist physical abuse. You can be angry and take things away from them, ground them, but don't hit them.

It's not just physical discipline that our children are lacking. Many of today's young parents didn't get the discipline necessary either!

I'm not sure what can be done after a generation lived and breathed Dr. Spock?!

I notice my children when I raise my tone, or give a rap on the hands for attempting to run across the street. This is after I have told/taught in a teachaable way...3 seperate occasions. Memorable experiences like a swat on the but, are worth teaching the harsh lesson of not running into the street.

reply to post by getreadyalready


My point is, there are other (and better) ways to teach your kids a lesson rather than hitting them.

I'm just a no violence person, my mind will never waiver on this.

But i understand the reasoning behind what you guys are saying..just don't agree with it.

And no i still don't think the "perfect" parent would slap their kids around.They find a more effective and non-violent way to teach them.

reply to post by samerulesapply


This quote sums up the argument.

Pointless discussion, I'm out...but I will say this, if you won't discipline your kids...someone else just very well may do it for you.

As in society. If in the process of disciplining your child you don't need to smack them on the rump, good for you... But discipline needs to be taught in some fashion... Or society will in one way, or another... They generally call it jail.

You can not have a law abiding society without discipline. At least not one that I want any part of, thank you.

There are bad parents who spank their children.

There are bad parents who don't spank their children.

Just because a child who is a horrible little beast is not necessarily indicative of whether or not there is physical discipline at home. Bad parenting is to blame.

I personally don't agree with spanking, but bad parents, in general, have bad children.

Lets not confuse the topic here.

Originally posted by v1rtu0s0
It all depends on how you want the world to turn out.

If you want it to be a violent, chaotic place like it is now, the by all means, beat your kids up every chance you get.


But if you want it to change at some point, then take the higher ground and resist physical abuse. You can be angry and take things away from them, ground them, but don't hit them.

edit on 30-1-2012 by v1rtu0s0 because: (no reason given)

I hardly believe that physical abuse and spanking are on the same level in the slightest. If the ONLY thing that your children know is violence, if that is the ONLY thing that they have been shown, then of course that would be regarded as abuse and of course that will have a long lasting and negative impact on the child.

If your child knows love there should be no problems. But sometimes a kid will act out and using words to reason with them just simply won't cut it, and a tap on the butt will snap them out of it right quick without leaving emotional trauma.

Be serious... How many people do you know that were smacked growing up, ONLY smacked as a means of discipline, hold deep resentment towards their parents for it and have to go through therapy to deal? We are not talking about leaving the kid with a concussion, or losing our temper over a plate of spilled food, a.k.a. abuse... we are talking about a child who is sorely out of line to the point where your typical methods of discipline aren't cutting it.

Originally posted by blazenresearcher

Originally posted by ChuckNasty
reply to post by ALOSTSOUL

 

When you spank (not smack) a childs rear it causes an adrenalin rush. When you spank a child (not beat and not kick and not punch) along with telling that child what he/she did wrong reinforces the fact you are trying to get across.

When you abuse a child - you cause a very elevated adrenalin rush which can cause lasting negative mental 'pain.' It can also give them lasting nightmares.

Some parents do not know the difference and takes things way to far. That is why their are strict laws about spanking.

I think that you are right about the Adrenaline rush. Which can either lead to an adrenaline junkie and mainfest in either a need for daredevil antics or abuse of drugs, women and so on.

That is true - the adrenalin rush during firefights is also thought to be the cause of a soldiers shell shock.
Moderation and just as a last resort and a few smacks should work on a child of proper age (if the child can't read or speak a complete sentence, then they are not of proper age or mindset for spankings imo) and never exceed their age in spanks.

Growing up I've had an assortment of disciplinary procedures put on me, including smacking and spanking, all the way up to abuse.

I think spanking only works as a social humiliation. When I was young, I would get spanked, at it did not yet register in my little mind that that is supposed to be a humiliating thing. It hurt, but that was part of the trips, bumps and falling downs of growing up, and the hurt would go away. So a hurt without the ability to reason why the hurt happened, doesn't work in a growing up way. It's confusing and abusive if I'd get spanked and I didn't know why; to put in a panic trigger with certain actions, to be afraid of the hand.

When spanking was useful, it was when the authority figure had the same standard in front of more than just me. In a competitive atmosphere. With siblings in a family who I had to compare myself to. I actually went to a school where paddling was a potential punishment, and just the imagery of being humilated in front of your peers, that for the rest of yoru life you would be that student that got paddled, that was enough to motivate me to follow the status quo.

I think spanking should be a last resort, but because of a lot of short-fused parents with their short-fused children, and for abusive parents who threw it out according to their mood or intoxicaton level, it got a bad reputation for discipline. I don't believe in tools, that's horrible: spoons, forks, belts, paddles, canes, etc. I don't believe in spanking being the first or only response. But I also believe that not every method works for every parent/child relationship. Some kids learn well and act safe when they never get spanked. Other kids learn well when spanking is an item on their list of things to avoid. I believe in age and maturity levels and body boundaries, and a limit to the force applied. But if it's illegal, respect the laws, don't do it.

So glad you started this thread.

To spank or not to spank, that is the question. I firmly believe in spanking with reason. I truly believe that the world is the way it is because people don't discipline their children properly. Too many children grow up without learning that there are negative consequences one needs to pay for breaking the rules.

Let me clarify my stance. I don't think spanking should be the first choice of punishment but sometimes reason doesn't always work with children. I always make myself clear with my son, I tell him that if he doesn't listen to mom or dad he'll get a slap on the backside. An example, my son always runs off in any direction and doesn't listen when we tell him to stop. He has been told numerous times why he needs to listen to us when we tell him to stop and what could happen if he doesn't stop (ie. get hit by a car, get lost or snatched etc.). He still chooses not to listen at times and understands that he'll be spanked if he doesn't. Now when we tell him to stop, he usually will. Spankings help establish who's in charge. Treating your child as an equal only encourages them to disobey you in the future because why would you obey someone who is your equal?

I just know what I was like when I was a child. Most of the time the only thing that kept me from doing bad things was the fear I had of being caught because I knew that I would get a spanking. If my parents would have only given me "Time-outs" or what ever, I'm sure I would have been much worse.

Most of the parents who don't ever spank their kids believe they have well behaved children but I have found that more often then not, they usually have brats. Most of the kids I grew up with who didn't get spankings were spoiled rotten and many of them grew up to become criminals. Yes! I do believe there is a direct correlation. If you say you have never had a reason to spank your child, perhaps you are being too lenient on them. Perhaps you just choose to ignore their bad behavior. That's okay, because the law wont when they grow up. Discipline your children now or law enforcement will do it when they are adults. Your choice. Personally I would rather discipline my kids now rather then raise a couple of future criminals.