Your Views On 'Smacking' children.

MP's have said in the media this week that the UK riots where caused by the lack of physical discipline, not the lack of jobs, education and a decent family lifestyle.

The Tottenham MP David Lammy claimed that Labour's 2004 decision to tighten up the smacking law was partly to blame for last summer's riots, which erupted in his north London constituency.

m.guardian.co.uk...

For you yanks out there, it is against the law in Great Britain to smack (spank) your child, although I have never heard of someone being convicted of it.

Personally I am undecided somtimes I think children do need a smack every now and then, mainly for there own sake. Lets say my daughter puts her finger in the plug socket do I give her a little slap (on the hand) and say "no, don't touch or it will hurt worse than that." luckly i haven't had to yet, she is still to young to crawl.

I understand that we live in different times (hell, I got a leather belt if I was naughty) but a complete lack of physical discipline can't be good for a Childs development can it?

I don't know, it's a very touchy issue, what are your views.

ALS

Simple:

You do not lay your hands on a child. Do so and go to jail.

Simple enough yeh?

As a mom, there is absolutely nothing my daughter has ever done or could do that would cause me to lay a hand on her and cause pain. I have found many other solutions to discipline and teach.

I am 100% against infilling any type of pain on a child.

I believe it is assualt to physicall hit a child. Just like if I smacked you, I could be charged with assualt.

reply to post by ALOSTSOUL


My mom spanked and used a spoon when I crossed her. It wasn't often but I had a mouth and pushed boundaries at times. I see nothing wrong with spanking, as long as it's not over done to abuse.

Kids today aren't disciplined, they are spoiled and catered to. They need to be knocked down a few pegs if you ask me. They need to learn respect.

If you don't "Parent" your kids assume they are in charge. You can't be your kids buddy, they will walk all over you. Just like their TV shows, what they can do to their parents. "monkey see, monkey do"

You can be friends with your kids, but establish who makes the rules, and mete out proper punishment if the kids are severely out of line with what you would, do in a situation.

Spare the rod, spoil the child.

A swat on the ass when only absolutely necessary works just fine, if you have already taken the steps to shape them into decent responsible people.

So what evident improvements do we see in society based upon these new laws?

No improvements whatsover! You could almost say these nit-picky laws are for the worse!

All because of a few bad eggs the good parents who know how to bring their kids up in a controlled, loving environment are being let down.

The world is goin' loooopy!

reply to post by ALOSTSOUL


I am a big fan of smacking. And it doesn't have to be a specific spanking.

Now, I don't always hit them, because I like to keep em guessing, so I do whatever they least expect at the time, but if I am within reach, and a quick smack will get their attention and make it memorable, then I use the smack.

Timeouts work well for some kids, taking away some favorite thing might work, even chores might work. Anything that makes them think, makes them uncomfortable, and makes the event memorable is on the table.

One thing I NEVER do, I never make idle threats. If I threaten a spanking, and they disobey, no matter how comical it is, or how much I don't want to, I ALWAYS follow through on my threats. For that reason, I rarely threaten them. It took a long time to get that rule through the heads of my wife and mother-in-law. They were constantly making serious threats, and then they didn't want to follow through, but I never let them get away with it. Many nights at Nanny's house got cancelled because Nanny, or Mama made a threat that if they didn't stop something, they couldn't come over, and they didn't stop, and I didn't let them come over. I usually got the silent treatment for the night, or sometimes the whole weekend, but eventually they stopped making idle threats, LOL!

I let my kids get away with quite a bit, but once I speak, they mind. I am proud to say they are the absolute best-behaved kids at karate class, and baseball, and in any restaurant you will ever see. Not just a bragging dad either.

reply to post by ALOSTSOUL


I think a parent using their hands to punish a child is the result of them lacking the mental ability to control and discipline their children.

Yeah, even putting your finger in a kids face should be illegal. Really yelling too loud should be illegal, you could scare them. Any form of punishment, should actually be outlawed. If kids don't know any better why should they be in trouble by another human that also makes mistakes. For example my oldest son punched my youngest son in the face, so I said, hey if you don't punch him anymore I'll give you money. He said, "Ok Dad." He stopped punching him all the way until the next day. Now, every time he punches him I just give em money and he stops.

Smacking is one thing...Spanking is another.

I had spankings and am still alive today.

It seems that when spanking became illegal, kids started to go wild with no way to control available to parents.

Sure there is love, talks and guidance. But sometimes a smack on the ass is a gentle reminder of who is really the boss in the house and it's also a way to get their attention when all the soft love doesn't work

Many will say that you should just talk to them but what happens when talking doesn't work? Just let them run your life and ruin theirs? No.

Govt. made the law so are they going to correct your children? Again...No. They will just take them away to their "Care" and/or put them behind bars when even they don't have the resources to do the job that parents should be doing.

Parents should make the choice here. Who is responsible for your kids? You or the Govt?

Peace

reply to post by greeneyedleo


But what if all alternative route fail. Do you simply let them get away with it?

ALS

Although I had my time with the belt by my parent, I don't think that is the solution to discipline a child. I do think discipline should start at a young though. I find where i live many teenagers these days are spoiled, disrespectful and think they are owed something.

Originally posted by mblahnikluver
reply to post by ALOSTSOUL

 

My mom spanked and used a spoon when I crossed her. It wasn't often but I had a mouth and pushed boundaries at times. I see nothing wrong with spanking, as long as it's not over done to abuse.

Kids today aren't disciplined, they are spoiled and catered to. They need to be knocked down a few pegs if you ask me. They need to learn respect.

Clearly abuse is in the eye of the beholder.

If you crossed me and I didnt like it...and I hit you....you would call the cops on me......

reply to post by ALOSTSOUL

A skit from Denis Leary goes some way at least to explain it...possibly?

Originally posted by ALOSTSOUL
reply to post by greeneyedleo

But what if all alternative route fail. Do you simply let them get away with it?

ALS



Absolutely not. Do I come across as someone who lets anyone get away with anything?

My daughter is almost 8. I have never ever needed to hurt her. Never. She is a good kid and when she is acting up, I never lose control and I have alternative means of disciplining her.

I truly believe a lot of kids issues are..............the parents themselves....

Originally posted by mblahnikluver
reply to post by ALOSTSOUL

 

My mom spanked and used a spoon when I crossed her. It wasn't often but I had a mouth and pushed boundaries at times. I see nothing wrong with spanking, as long as it's not over done to abuse.

Kids today aren't disciplined, they are spoiled and catered to. They need to be knocked down a few pegs if you ask me. They need to learn respect.

Exactly...there is a difference between beating and setting rules that every child needs! Kids these days don't get consequences for their actions, My daughter 11yrs bout to be 12yr, by age 4yr had manners down, and I love the complements on how well behaved she is compared to her other friends/kids. guess it goes on parenting.

reply to post by matthewgraybeal


I remember once I told my mum to F.... off (I was 7). My dad give me a couple of whips with the belt and safe to say I never said a bad word to her again (except once when I was 18 and drunk and I got a slap that time to).

To be honest I think it made me tougher and a lot more respectful towards my peers.

ALS

Originally posted by InfoKartel
Simple:

You do not lay your hands on a child. Do so and go to jail.

Simple enough yeh?

No, not simple enough. A parent is a parent. Let them try to put me in jail for some BS like this. I know people that like to call the Child Protective Services over BS just to get each other in trouble..... a very trashy form of entertainment for some low-class people, and I've made them all aware that if anything even remotely affects my family, they will be going on a one-way fishing trip with me!

The real world has painful consequences. Parents can teach those painful consequences without doing permanent damage. You can tell a child 1000 times that a stove is hot, but they only have to touch it once, and they get the message! A smack is similar. You give a smack to make the connection between some bone-headed idea and pain. It is a natural consequence and a natural way to learn. Also, the world has bullies, and bad guys, and real consequences. We are raising out kids to think none of those bad things exist, and then we wonder why they aren't ready to be adults at some magical age.

I'll put my 5 year old up against any of the moddy-coddled 12 and 15 year olds any day. He is already more mature and savvy than most of the kids entering high school these days.

reply to post by greeneyedleo

I never lose control

That is the key.

No one should ever hit a child in anger. If a parent has lost control, they should not even consider touching their child. It should be an intentionally measured and purposeful punishment, not an angry one.

The discipline depends on the issue and development phase of the child.

When my son was young, no or stop would be all I had to say. As he grew so did the discipline. I have spanked my son before, we don't do that anymore because he is at a different phase. Taking the computer or movies away are effective now.

And for all you you that say he shouldn't have fun, well I am his parent, if he fails to do school work or his chores (dishes, woopty doo) then he looses toys.

I definitely don't agree with beating your child, but a smack on the hand or bottom - just to get across that no means no or stop means stop, then I'm okay with it. (tbh, I am happy that I rarely need to discipline my son)