have you ever known a psychopath?

Originally posted by needlenight
Something else you may want to know.
Lets talk about morales and conscience.

While I dont feel any difference between doing something good or doing something bad. I choose to do things, that I know is good and helpfull towards other people. Why I do it? Because that is the best way to hide. If people think highly of you and consider you a good guy, or in my case, silent and wierd by helpfull and rather friendly. You get to hide the fact, that you are someone others should watch out for, or keep in check.

My conscience was "destroyed" years ago, when a did something considered bad. I lived with the shame of it for some years before the feeling of shame went away completely, which according to my psychologist was probably what started, or "unlocked" this side of me, that I am now. My mind eventually had to drop all emotion for me to function. This started when I was around 8-10 years old.

If you were to look at my other posts here on ATS, you would see that I talk highly about peace and being good to others, helping each other and showing respect and instead of fighting about things, agreeing to disagree.
This is the "mask" that I have chosen to be the "real me" outwards towards other people. It is the "mask", I have figured would give me the easiest life and minimal problems. I show alot of concern about how to treat the planet, how we treat each other, because I know that the best way to hide amongst others.

why wear a "mask" on an anonymous internet forum?

What was the bad thing you did?

Having a kid may sort yer canker out?

reply to post by blueorder


TPTB, that are running the world are mostly white males. Do some research. That's not to say that other races can't be psychopaths. What I am saying is that White male psychopaths a the ones mostly occupying positions of power in society and it has been this way for centuries. Most people tend to refer to them as "The Boys Club."

Yes. He is currently in prison for murder. He blew a guys brains out for owing him a few hundred dollars.

The interesting thing is that I have known him virtually since his birth, and from the very beginning, everyone around him saw the signs. Even as a baby his reactions were abnormal. As a toddler he would hump your leg like a dog does, as if he was hypersexual. He was very cruel to his family members, and his parents guarded his sisters very carefully to prevent him from raping them. The parents tried all forms of psychiatrists, medicines, reform school, military academy, etc., and nothing made any difference. Shortly after becoming an adult he was selling drugs, abusing women, and generally scaring the hell out of everyone who knew him. I personally avoided him.

His family, by the way, are perfectly normal and as far as I can tell, his parents did an excellent job with their kids. This guy was just born evil.

reply to post by Grumble


what a sad story. over a couple hundred bucks? sounds more like a junkie than a psychopath (not saying he was). i've had friends do some awful things but not sure how i would take hearing that someone i know blew someone's brains out over a couple hundred.

Originally posted by yurichan
reply to post by blueorder

 

TPTB, that are running the world are mostly white males. Do some research. That's not to say that other races can't be psychopaths. What I am saying is that White male psychopaths a the ones mostly occupying positions of power in society and it has been this way for centuries. Most people tend to refer to them as "The Boys Club."

what specifically has there race got to do with anything, I am white and have barely a pot to proverbialy urinate in- you do some research

A psychopath i know is always a step in front and it's hard to tell if it occurs naturally without his knowledge or if he just means to do it.
If you compare a psychopath with someone who has ADHD or a learning disorder you will find that psycho's are the opposite, they learn very fast and what they know cannot be altered. Any attempt to modify what a psychopath thinks he knows will result in your downfall with or without violence. Only another psychopath can match a psychopath and this doesn't happen much because they can sense each others awareness.

reply to post by little1


He was definitely using, but not a junkie. He was the dealer and had plenty of cash to throw around. He didn't need the money or the fix. He just executed him for nothing.

And BTW, the victim, who was a customer, had a wife and children who loved him.

I'm empathetic. I feel the pain that any living creature I see, feels.

It makes me wish I was a sociopath, because this world is so cruel. When can you let go of emotion to save yourself? I can't. But I despise so much now, because of this.

It's a damn conundrum. I cannot even squash a roach without feeling pity. Perhaps it is an affliction, and sociopaths are free from it.. who knows.

?

reply to post by needlenight


I'm interested, and have a few questions.

Do you ever experience anxiety, shame, or sadness over the fact that you've been diagnosed as a sociopath? When you discovered what you are, did you feel badly about it, or were you relieved?

Do you ever watch a movie or listen to a song, and cry from the emotion conveyed, regardless of whether or not you normally experience it yourself?

You say that you do not experience true happiness, but does that make you feel depressed or hopeless?

Do you ever feel the need to connect with someone? And do you wish you were able to experience love?

Are you asexual?

Do you listen to music?

I ask these questions because I've read a variety of different explanations for the ways that sociopaths "feel," and it would be informative to get some answers from someone with personal experience.

Originally posted by baphomet420
i was married to psychopath...
the experience was so messed up, after 5 years, i still will not date... its not worth it...

i don't really want to get into it much, but I encourage everyone to look for the signs of psychopath (probably not the things you would think), if you end up around one of these people, RUN.. They do not like you, they do not love you, they can't, they have no emotions...

a couple signs,
a psychopath will go to bed, go right to sleep... wake up, and get right up immediately.. there is no "damn, i dont wanna get up"...
a psychopath usually has a real fake smile. they always use it, so it is hard to spot, most psychopath do not get crow feet around the eyes for that reason...
a psychopath usually will have a past that does not quite add up...

i have ran into plenty of psychopaths dealing with the public, but being married to one just takes the life out of you...

my psychopath would also get up in the middle of the night every night. empathy was faked. he had no reaction to things most people would react to. there are 2 missing years that i can't figure out what happened. he lies about everything. he's HUGELY popular but keeps enough of a distance that no one figures him out. i fully believe he's capable of anything.

edit to add: i also don't want to date. it's not worth it. i don't trust anyone new and neither do my kids.

reply to post by Norro


No, I never experience anxiety, shame, or sadness over anything. The time I felt shame was many years ago. I believe that shame, harboring it and never letting it go was what "locked" my emotions far away. So that I could function and survive.
I did not feel relieved either when my psychologist diagnosed me. She explained to me what it was, that lead her to the diagnosis and I could see that it made sense. There was nothing more than me agreeing with her diagnosis. I did not feel anything about it either way.

I can not cry to a song or a movie. However I am able to understand why someone acts the way they do in movies, why they feel pain they do or even why they are happy. I am perfectly able to understand that one situation and a certain chain of events can lead to some emotional outcome. I understand emotions, I just dont feel them.

The absence of happiness does not lead me to depression or unhappiness. You could say that I am stuck somewhere in between the two. Perhaps indifference is the best word to describe it here. I do however fake happiness. At my grandfathers funeral i faked sadness aswell. I have become good at faking certain deeper emotions, but only because I have observed them up close.

There are times where I wish that I could experience love or even true sadness. But only out of curiosity. You see, I am very interrested in what makes us humans tick and why we do what we do in certain situations. I would like to experience these myself to have a better understanding of them.

I have sexual desires, but I have not had sex in over a year now and I dont feel the urge for it as such. I think sex is pleasurable, but it is not something I feel is vital. I also masturbate sometimes like everyone else. I get the same release as any other guy.

Yes I listen to music. I like music alot. Currently I am listening to Owl City, Coldplay and The Fray.

Originally posted by maria_stardust
reply to post by pasiphae

 

i'd like to hear some other experiences with psychopaths. i'm not talking about people who are just mean.... but people who have no conscience.

It sounds more like you're speaking about people who are amoral, as opposed to a true psychopath. Those who are amoral operate within a social vacuum without cause or concern for others. I'm sure some of this behavior can be pinned down to mere selfishness, but it is more than likely a bit more complex than that.

it is more complex. i'm not talking about amoral people. i'm talking about psychopaths. no feeling, no conscience, no ability to love, take pleasure in the destruction of others. not all are killers but all are capable of it.

Originally posted by LongbottomLeaf
reply to post by pasiphae

 

Maybe you could help your friend, get him to seek help before he hurt somebody?
I know it's not easy to throw your friend in the clink, but it's alot easier than living with the guilt and regret that you could you prevent him from destroying not only someone else's life but his own.

if you're talking about the psychopath he is NOT my friend. we dated and i fear him. he can't be helped. he has no desire to be helped. he thinks feeling people are the ones with the problem. psychopaths cannot be helped. i would like to stop him but i have to seek out more evidence.

Originally posted by ToneDeaf
_________________________

psychopaths will premeditate situations, example :
flatting someone's car tire then coming to their 'rescue'.
False-flags are definitely psychopathic.

Psychopaths cannot shed tears,
however a wink, shallow laughter, anger to intimidate
comes natural to them.

they can shed tears. they teach themselves how to fake it just like an actor.

Originally posted by WeekendWarrior
reply to post by pasiphae

 

I have known one and also narcistic comes to mind from your description. Was a buddy of mine, but that something always stopped us from becoming friends. I felt like alarmed when he was around, couldnt relax in hes company.
One day I told him that hes sick and he was gone out of my life and its good.

psychopaths are narcissists. not all narcissists are psychopaths.

good you got rid of him!

Originally posted by yurichan
reply to post by pasiphae

 

Yes I got a job at a Corporation like Wal-Mart paying $10 an hour because I wanted to get off the benefit. The manager there who happened to be in charge of company surveillance put me on a gang stalking list/ under 24/7 home surveillance using corporate money I guess.

SO form day one I began being followed, harassed, workplace mobbed etc. I was also poisoned 3x and now have a horribly a scarred and disfigured face. But it took me 6 years to workout I was being gang stalked because I couldn't make sense of what was happening to me and gang stalking is kept a huge secret by TPTB.

I was then forced out of my job because of my face but am still under 24/7 surveillance.

It makes me laugh when people say lower your standards if you need a job etc and take anything you can get.

I did that and being humble has ruined my life completely.

I think my situation sort of shows how Psychopaths seek positions of power and then use their positions to intentionally destroy others freelance. This manager and a couple of the other white male managers there are nothing but murderers\serial killers, who will never get caught because of their powerful connections in the community and corporate arena.

wow. that's awful! yes, they will seek out positions of power. they are usually very lazy but cover their laziness well enough. master manipulators.

reply to post by needlenight

Psychotic people do not care what other people think and feel. If you care enough to make a post on ATS and expect people to feel enough about caring you are already dismissed. You are not a psycho.

reply to post by blueorder


Why wear a mask here? Because this mask is a part of the person I "want" to be. I need to constantly feed this "mask" with opinions, interrests and such, all in all I am creating a personality, and making it as real as I can. This borders to personality disorder. But it is the best way for me to live a life, without being known as a "psycho".
My psychologist have warned me of this and tells me that it is making it more difficult to dig down and find out who I "really" am. But for now, I need it.

The bad thing I did, is not something I am willing to share, not even here.

Having a kid? I fantasize about this often, I believe I would be a good father. I know how to raise a child, how best to teach a child lessons vital to becomming a strong and independent human being. But I am afraid that I might be incapable of giving the child the love a parent is required to give. I know the importance of being loved, the effect of true caring and how that helps shape a child. How I know this is of course from studies I have read. And if I am not able to give a child that, what good would I be as a parent?

Yes, one of my siblings... or two.


I'm sure one of them is. Their selfishness and lack of self-awareness is astounding.

Originally posted by needlenight
reply to post by pasiphae

 

I would not call myself a psychopath, but to use my psychologists words I am a socially functioning sociopath. Which is not uncommon today. This is not something my family and friends are aware of. I have been like this for aslong as I can remember, which have given me plenty of time to adapt and learn the norms human interaction.
While I do have urges that are uncommon and inhumane, I have always been able to ignore them. It is not easy but it is possible for me to do so, with the help and regular talks with my psychologist.

To try and give you a sense of what emotions are to me, I can say it like this. I do laugh and I do get annoyed, but thats where the limit is. I dont get mad, nor do I ever get truely happy. That is something I live with, it is as normal living like that to me, as your life is to you, cause I have never known otherwise.
This does gives me some complications when it comes to relashionships, I am pretty much incapable of feeling love for others, but I do have some sense of connection to my family. This works both ways, as I am incapable of sensing when others are loving towards me, or even annoyed and mad at me. But I have learned to recognise body language, changes in voices and such to know when things are positive and negative. Bottomline is, I rely on logic, calculative thinking and experience with other persons than emotional senses. This makes it very easy for me to manipulate people around me, act as I believe they would want me to and hide behind several masks depending on the situations I am in and the people I am around.

I am not dangerous in any way. But the chance of me snapping somewhere down the line is of course a possibility, which is why both me and my psychologist are constantly watching out for any signs of me loosing control of myself. Honestly I could never have done this without her help.

I do understand that this post may come across as a cry for attention and "uh look at me, im dark and dangerous". And while I am very narcissistic and love to talk about myself, this post is very true.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask and I will try and answer to the best of my abilities.
If you believe this post to be a bunch of bull, feel free to ignore it. Either way I got to talk about myself.

Welcome to the mind of a sociopath.

edit on 11-1-2012 by needlenight because: (no reason given)

completely fascinating! some psychopaths (such as yourself) are able to function easily and not harm others. i'm glad you have help. i think what your saving grace is - no anger. if you were easily agitated that would create a problem because then you would not care about not acting on your impulse to do physical harm. my first red flag with my psychopath was his strange anger. i hadn't ever witnessed anything like it before. his arguments with me always left me feeling awful but also so confused. it wouldn't make sense. i wish i could explain it. almost as if i was arguing with a 2 yr old who had excellent debate skills LOL!

thank you for sharing that.