reply to post by pasiphae
I would not call myself a psychopath, but to use my psychologists words I am a socially functioning sociopath. Which is not uncommon today. This is
not something my family and friends are aware of. I have been like this for aslong as I can remember, which have given me plenty of time to adapt and
learn the norms human interaction.
While I do have urges that are uncommon and inhumane, I have always been able to ignore them. It is not easy but it is possible for me to do so, with
the help and regular talks with my psychologist.
To try and give you a sense of what emotions are to me, I can say it like this. I do laugh and I do get annoyed, but thats where the limit is. I dont
get mad, nor do I ever get truely happy. That is something I live with, it is as normal living like that to me, as your life is to you, cause I have
never known otherwise.
This does gives me some complications when it comes to relashionships, I am pretty much incapable of feeling love for others, but I do have some sense
of connection to my family. This works both ways, as I am incapable of sensing when others are loving towards me, or even annoyed and mad at me. But I
have learned to recognise body language, changes in voices and such to know when things are positive and negative. Bottomline is, I rely on logic,
calculative thinking and experience with other persons than emotional senses. This makes it very easy for me to manipulate people around me, act as I
believe they would want me to and hide behind several masks depending on the situations I am in and the people I am around.
I am not dangerous in any way. But the chance of me snapping somewhere down the line is of course a possibility, which is why both me and my
psychologist are constantly watching out for any signs of me loosing control of myself. Honestly I could never have done this without her help.
I do understand that this post may come across as a cry for attention and "uh look at me, im dark and dangerous". And while I am very narcissistic and
love to talk about myself, this post is very true.
If you have any questions, feel free to ask and I will try and answer to the best of my abilities.
If you believe this post to be a bunch of bull, feel free to ignore it. Either way I got to talk about myself.
Welcome to the mind of a sociopath.
edit on 11-1-2012 by needlenight because: (no reason given)