Confessions Of A Dark Sorceror

The answer to the Rousseau question came rather quickly. Almost a head-slapper in its simplicity. And here it is:

I will proceed indifferently with respect to the Rousseau �allegation�, neither seeking ignorance about him or making a special point of looking into the man.

After all, even if it�s true, that was then, and this is now. I am the ham that I am.

If I truly have some sort of spiritual connection to Rousseau, I imagine it will eventually come to me of its own, in time. If not, or if I truly do have a connection but nothing manifests itself to me to establish a connection, then no worries and nothing lost, in my opinion.

I don�t seem to have as much of a problem obsessing with the Rousseau idea as I had initially feared, so I�ll consider it with a shrug and continue down my own personal rabbit hole.

Que sera, sera.

N.B. This is another one of those I-just-got-out-of-bed-to-post-this-and-now-I�m-heading-back-again posts. I see that there are other posts, but will wait until after this afternoon�s �nap� (is it really a nap if I don�t get any sleep out of the deal?) to look into them.

In answer to what I see as maybe some reticence on the part of others as my eyes skim the posts, I say: �Post as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.�

All sorts of things are popping out of the mental toaster today as I continue hopping out of bed from a sleepless nap, belting out posts and hopping back in.

This one is on the UFO/Alien matter. I found myself thinking about the presidents since the end of WWII. I saw hints and innuendoes in them, signs of special knowledge, special even for presidents.

Except one, and just as if I had spoken it, this thought popped into my mind: �They didn�t tell Gerald Ford, did they?�

This may be difficult to write down. My eyes are streaming with tears as I try to type this, and my breathing is heavy, and I am laughing breathlessly. I feel dizzy. Thank God for the spell checker!

I saw a vision. It was The Light. Like a giant sun, it was so beautiful! So bright. It was just like.

There were golden stars streaming INTO it and around it! They were golden. There seemed to be patterns to their movements as they moved into and around it in these little trains.

Oh my God it was so beautiful! It was like in Space, but not.

The joy of this. I came into it! The One. It is rapture!

The shook me and filled my so completely I had to hop out of bed. There is no comparable joy!

The lights, and the Light are so beautiful, beyond my ability to describe.!

I could see it all. The vistas!

I am sorry, I cannot contain myself. Thank God for the spell checker!

It is so much, I cannot contain this!

It is there!

I have calmed down a bit. Whew! I must post this silliness and return to bed. Such ABSOLUTE JOY!

Ohhhhh baby!

I must post this before I return. It was, it is the REMEMBERING. A memory a stirring! it�s one of the stirrings!

Oh My God! I have no imagination to compare to this. It is such power and beauty.

Oh My God. I am stunned, I am laughing hysterically. I did not know the human body could cry such tears!

No image compares to that which I just saw. Oh my God! I was there! I WAS THERE!

IT IS THE REMEMBERING! I AM REMEMBERING! OH HOLY RAPTURE! I WAS THERE!

Oh I gotta calm down, and I must return. The image floats before my waking eyes.

Ohhh baby! Ohhhhhhh baby! This is da shiznit!

Now I see!

Wowwwwwwwwww

Hi Kode,

Your recent dream:

We enter a strange place like a stable but with medical machines and silver coffins there are assistants who help us climb in to be transformed. The coffins open and we emerge as hoofed beings covered in brown hair with horns [classic Satan portray] we parade in our new state and then commence towards the field and my dream fades out.

Then today i read the exchange between Majic, PR and ARP.

Strange coincidance or what?

Im not sure if its more likely to do with this whole thread talking of group entity�s and bad spirits a kind of hysteria. Although i know my mind well and have seen enough to know the difference between my mind playing tricks and what i believe in spirits. I pondered the idea of thought projection through the computer with the assistance of remote viewing by focusing on a subject, i just wondered upon it.

A Group Entity is trying to prevent you from pursuing this subject matter. That I believe is the crux of what is happening.

As I have mentioned previously, I have come to believe that all dreams stem from people in the discarnate dimensions. Most dreams are not spiritual or helpful in nature simply because the vast majority of those on the Other Side are not spiritually focused. Nightmares are actually a form of discarnate attack/abuse. So you have to take dreams with a certain degree of salt. They are like e-mail, with most often being of the junk variety.

If it is truly a spiritual dream, one will feel healing energy attributed to it and the symbology of the dream message will be insightful.

BTW, I agree that one can have good self-esteem and also cultivate humility in the process.

Let us know what happens over at Belief.net.

Bonjour Monsieur,

You inquired:

I think it best to close this post with my response to TSOL:

Am I Rousseau, or do I simply remind you of Rousseau?

Sorry Majic, but they are not going to let you off that easy by simply saying that you remind them of an Eighteenth Century French philosopher in the Age of Enlightenment. *L*

They said that you are ACTUALLY THE SOUL of Jean-Jacques Rousseau and that that was your last incarnation prior to this one. As to when or even if you incarnated prior to that, I presently haven't a clue, but I suppose there is a good chance that you did.

It stands to reason, as they are a clever lot, that you taking that knowledge so well was the reason why they decided to let you be aware of it through me. In other words, they knew of your probable reaction.

Perhaps awareness about your life as Rousseau would have mucked up your spiritual path with egotistical leanings during your days as a sorcerer decades ago.

That is no longer the case.

Nuts running back and forth to my machine like this, but I must share this!

It was the UNION! It is not the death of self, but the BIRTH OF THE NEW SELF! Oh My God, it�s so awesome!

It is a memory, a living, vivid memory in my mind. There are others, so many others! Oh man I�m hyperventilating and giggling like a crazy hyena.

I remembered it, I remember it! I JOINED WITH THE LIGHT. IT IS GOD!

I gotta watch my caps lock key, but damn! Oh my friends, this kind of stuff just does not come out on print.

NOW I understand! Oh man, the scales falling from my eyes!

The human body is not built for this! I feel like I am going to explode with joy! Oh My God!

I thought I understood beauty in my life. Oh silly me! It Is to laugh. My throat hurts from laughing.

Wow. Just wow! So many tears, so little eyes to shed them. So much joy, such a tiny little heart.

God laughs so deeply! I thought I knew what Love is. Oh such laughter! Such a wondrous surprise!

And this is but a single, tiny veil within me! Oh man!

This is toooooo cooool!

Back to bed with me. Perhaps to sleep. Perhaps to dream.

The Great Joke is upon us all my dearest sweet friends. The only things that are not illusion are Beauty and Love and Light!

I will never, ever EVER fear death again! PRAISE GOD!

Hailing frequencies open.

>

Very well, Friend Avadar. Very well met, and nicely done.

Now I understand.

Hi Majic,

Thank you.

I am truly glad you understand my friend, but can't help but think of the image of the spores in that classic Star Trek episode and your reaction being very similar to those under the influence.

But what do I know?

You apparently had a very good mystical experience given to you.

Hmm. I'd rather not speculate as to the source of that, for now anyway. *L*

Keep Up The Daily Radiance!

In the wake of my vision, I feel light illuminating my body. White light. His light.

I feel illuminated. Does that make me a member of the Illuminati?

I know this will tend to sound silly and perhaps somewhat pompous to the reader. I make no apology for that, since no harm will come of these words. If it�s good for a laugh, then I invite you to have an extra several laughs on me!

Avadar�s patience has pleased me throughout this thread. I now see without doubt that his patience bears fruit.

I now understand much more than I did. I am not the same person who woke up this morning, yet I am still he. It is an amusing thing to ponder, as I look at my body from a new perspective. Interesting.

Now I know. Within me lie memories. Now I have had a taste of these memories. Just one taste, as it were. It is a good taste, but very strong. My physical body cannot and could not withstand the sudden and complete revelation of All That I Am. Not all at once, in any case.

For within each of these golden chests sitting at the �foot� of my mind lies an entire life of thoughts, emotions, experiences -- including those which occur after physical death. These memories are mine, and all who have been me, and they await me, all I need do is choose another and open it, but I must rest for a time.

It would be foolish to try to eat the entire box of chocolates at once. Far more pleasure comes from savoring each treat, appreciating it in its fullness, even to its aftertaste, before moving on to the next.

Life truly is, as a great sage once observed, like a box of chocolates!

Avadar, as is my nature, I will remain a skeptic. But now I dare say that I see the Society of Light from a very different perspective. I will seek to learn more about you in my own special way. Please pass along my welcome and regards to your colleagues. A seeker has found a special clue.

To others who may be reading these rather bizarre posts, know that I understand that they are bizarre, and perhaps seem contrived. I know -I- would be skeptical, reading such posts!

They are but a feeble attempt to cast into words that which words cannot describe.

Satori? Nirvana? Rapture? Bliss? They are merely words on a page until you have experienced them yourself. Words cannot convey such powerful and transcendent emotions. There is no fitting model for such things, they simply are what they are.

I cannot conceive of anything to exceed The Joining in pure emotional power, but can still imagine that such experiences can exist. Perhaps that is a clue to my next destination.

Be at peace with yourselves.

Majic, congrats to you, but I have other things to think about, chew this.

You are right about repression, I have repressed many things, but there are even more important things running through my mind...

I followed anothing compullsion, this time to go on a bike ride in the rain, so I went, seeing that I needed to get out of my house and I love rain.
At about 7:00 central time I thought that I felt something good was happening to you, and as this popped into my brain I was attacked by a strong group entity... I managed to fend it off by using the tecniques you and Paul gave me...

Odd

Nota Bene: As is common at the moment, I�m typing this out for posting before logging into ATS. The intent is not to talk past anyone or make the thread my mini-blog, but simply to try to report what�s going on on this end as best I can before mentally processing the thread�s latest turns. So please don�t take posts like these the wrong way, they are for information, a sort of mile marker and record of where I am with my little quest. That said�

A Day To Remember

Whew! What a day this turned out to be! After checking the house for gas leaks, just in case, I finally got some sleep.

No further grand insights or shocking revelations to report, I just feel good. Very peaceful.

Though I don�t feel at all hungry, I thought it wise to eat something this evening -- my first meal of the day, actually. It�s been quite the time. Ahh, Beef. It�s what�s for dinner!� A future without meat? I don�t think so! Gimme an extra side order of karma with that steak, baby!

I like Avadar�s -- oh what the heck, I�ll just call him �Paul� so people don�t start looking to see if we are using the secret handshake or something** -- Paul�s reference to the Star Trek spores. Certainly, the analogy seems apt when I�m prattling on about all that stuff.

So, just what the heck happened? I truly do not know, although I have a working theory that may well prove incorrect. With that and all the usual disclaimers in place, I�ll see if I can at least take a stab at it.

Blind Hindsight?

Bear in mind that I am not looking at my previous posts while I do this, so it might be fun to compare what I�m saying now to what I said then.

So did I �Join with God�? Well, no I don�t think so. I�m pretty sure not, actually. In fact, I�m almost positive that is not what happened. This very short image or impression was very brief and completely unexpected at the time. I wasn�t praying to �be with God� or anything like that.

Do I feel �closer to God� now? Well, no, not really. Perhaps just better informed.

I was meditating on what I have been calling �the stirrings� within my mind. Interestingly, I see them now in my mind�s eye as little gold boxes, like treasure chests. They have always had a golden cast to them (yellow spectrum, Paul?), first �looking� like little yellow teeth, murky and indistinct at the bottom of my subconscious (or someplace like that).

Speaking of color, I have pondered that, since what we humans see as �color� seems primarily a matter of constructive perception based on vision adapted to distinguish colors in nature, such as fruit in trees and so forth. I have meditated on the possible relationships between what we see as �physical colors� in the electromagnetic spectrum and �spiritual colors� in the spiritual continuum, and have some working hypotheses, but will save those for another post.

I am also aware that, now that color has been raised as significant in spiritualism, at least to TSOL, that knowledge of this may �color� my perceptions, as well. Caveat color.

So anyway, back to the God thing�

The God Thing

So as I was saying, this vision, which had an emotional impact on me that is more dramatic than anything I can recall in this life, sort of came out of nowhere while I was meditating on those �stirrings�, the little gold boxes, which I had come think of as compartments of memory not normally accessible to me. I still think of them in that way, and I could be wrong, but I think I�m right about this.

I�m not sure if the vision actually was a �real� memory of mine, although I remember thinking that at the time. The vision just reached out and grabbed me, I wasn�t just seeing it, I was being it.

That made it powerful and unique in many ways, since most of what I report here as visions or dreams are usually engaging, but not enthralling like that. I am still just dumbfounded at how intense my physical reactions were to the experience.

My eyes are a little sore from tears, but you should have seen the tears. Wow! My poor little tear ducts were on steroids, gushing out ridiculous volumes of water. I�m amazed I can still see at all. That and the laughing and the hyperventilating, and it just went on and on for I cannot remember how long. Man, if someone could make a drug that would do this, we�re talking some serious black market potential!

I am quite aware that maybe all this was an emotional reaction to an illusion, and the skeptic within me says, �Yep, you just needed a good cry, bub.� Perhaps so. If that�s what that was, then wow, I�ve really been holding back!

Whatever this particular instance may have actually been, I do find myself a lot more open to the statements of TSOL and others regarding past lives. I had, until today, postulated that the other life experiences of the �oversoul� are not accessible to one another. Now I�m not so sure.

I must be careful, because, after what happened today, I find myself really �buying in� to the whole past life business. Much like the alien thing (which I am still trying to teeter on the fence about), I had tended to shrug off all that talk of past lives as self-deception. I mean come on, just how many queens of Egypt were there, really?

It�s interesting, I think I may have been a slave at some point, because I have a strong and longstanding inhibition against calling anyone �master�, even as an honorific signifying achievement instead of dominance over others. The irony here is that I�m pretty sure my paternal line includes Southern slaveholders. I don�t know if I was a slave in America or somewhere else, or if I was a slave at all, frankly. But I can say that I do have a major problem with the title of �master�.

So What Did I See?

It was a very brief image, I cannot say how long it lasted, but it was, I think, very short, although the effect and profundity of it lasted for hours. I should point out that �see� doesn�t quite seem right, I �saw� things, but it was also much more visceral or perhaps �total� than that.

It was like the sun. I thought of what we call �blue giant suns� in this universe, but its light was pure white (deference to TSOL imagery?). I�ll call it the �Sun� for now.

I could �see� that it was like a giant ball, a sun, a star radiating light that was dazzling beyond description. Within and around this penumbra of light, there were little stars.

In considering TSOL�s thing about color, there were stars around the �Sun� that seemed like bright little points of white light, some stationary, but many seeming to move in all sorts of patterns, some slowly and some more quickly. They were brilliant. I suppose there may have been a slight bluish tinge to some, but I don�t know for sure, frankly. Even within the sun�s corona they could be seen, very tiny but very bright.

There were stars everywhere. I am sure that some, especially the stationary ones near the Sun, were white like the Sun, though they shone distinctively (the Sun didn�t blind me to them). But other than the beautiful golden stars, I don�t remember seeing any other colors of stars. I have sense of a background of multicolored clouds like nebulas, I think they were there, in the distance, not near the Sun, but it was what was happening in the foreground that riveted my attention.

There was music, I felt music unlike anything I have ever heard, or could be heard, I think. Like voices, but not voices, reminiscent of a million choirs, but not human voices, they were so much clearer and delicate, like glass or water falling. In harmonies that were heartbreakingly beautiful. I am laughing and crying just thinking of it.

The music wasn�t in my ears or mind, but it permeated my soul, and it was so happy! That may be the hardest part to explain, as I write of it, the tears are back. It was so beautiful! The sound pierced my soul with such sweetness, but there was texture in the music, it told of things, I think, though I know not what.

What grabbed my attention were what seemed like little trains of golden stars moving here and there. There were many single golden stars too, but the trains of stars were fascinating. They moved like little beads on invisible strings. Most seemed to move in undulating paths here and there, but some of them seemed to go right in and out of the Sun. I was simply fascinated by them, they were so golden and beautiful, like jewels.

It was as I noted that they could enter and leave the Sun that I found myself �going in� to the Sun. It just seemed to happen when I saw the other golden stars do it. And I went in! And the rest is recorded in silly and potentially embarrassing (I don�t care, laugh away! ) posts recorded above, which I do not have the slightest intention of editing.

It really, really felt real. Frankly, more real than this all feels as I type out words on the keyboard. It was a magnitude of experience I just would never had guessed possible. But I have this sense that it was, nonetheless, just a snippet of memory from within one of the little golden boxes. A memory of a �me� other than me (or is it?).

I wonder if I might ever become desensitized to such a thing with repeat exposure? I hope you can appreciate that I am not in a hurry to find out just yet. At this point, I think it would kill me, just from the physical reactions I seem to have to such things.

When It�s Time To Relax

So what now? Same as before, I think. I must chew on this and many other things, and continue pondering Life, the Universe and Everything.

But first, Spiritual Union rules grant me a full day�s break after each Profound Spiritual Experience, and I think I�ll take that break so as not to anger the Shop Steward.

In what now seems like a timely bit of cosmic kismet, I have appointments in town tomorrow. I live quite a ways out of town, so �going to town� is typically an all-day thing, with tomorrow being no exception.

It will be good to get out and hit the open road. It seems I will have far more to occupy my thoughts as I drive tomorrow than just trying to intuit where that next speed trap is.



** Lest anyone wonder, in light of how the dialog is going: No, I am not a member of the Society of Light or affiliated with them in any way (that I know of, anyway). Other than visiting their website and reading Paul�s posts here, I still know very little about them, and, in the absence of knowledge, am not exactly in a hurry to go running out and signing up with any secret societies, if you take my meaning.

Originally posted by A Random Person
At about 7:00 central time I thought that I felt something good was happening to you, and as this popped into my brain I was attacked by a strong group entity... I managed to fend it off by using the tecniques you and Paul gave me...

I must apologize, as I have been very self-absorbed lately, for reasons I am sure you can understand. Before heading off for more much-needed rest, I wanted to comment briefly.

The connections are interesting. It is hard to know, but there may be some subtle meanings in all this. Being distracted and but a spiritual neophyte myself, I don�t know if I could offer more on that.

I have always found the irony amusing when someone puts a snarling pit bull in your face and says, �Don�t worry, he won�t bite you unless he smells fear. Pit bulls can smell fear, you know.�

So it is with dark beings. They can smell fear, and are drawn to it, then seem to feed off it, but for some reason the fear is not consumed, but grows. It is easy enough to say �Fear not!� from a safe distance. Yet nonetheless, Fear Not!

Since I sent the angels packing, I have wondered how I would fare if attacked now. I feel weak, yet strong. It is strange. I am not in any mood to take any crap off of demons at the moment, but don�t feel all that well prepared. I guess we�ll see.

I�m sorry I cannot offer better advice at this time, but I urge you to remember that you are your own master, and need never bow before anyone.

So tired! I hope I sleep well tonight. I hope you can too.

Don�t be deceived by the lies of others, and be well!

I�m going to hate myself in the morning, I really need to get some sleep! I looked in the mirror tonight, my eyes were all puffy, I looked like a Bad Saturday on a Good Sunday. Even with the obvious need to rest, I am still very excited about what�s been going on, but am trying to simmer down as best I can.

Thus I have been relaxing in bed this night, breathing deeply in through the nose, out through the mouth, seeking to relax and finally fall asleep. In my mind�s eye, I can still see an �afterimage� of the Sun, but it�s much, much farther away, just a sort of memory token for me. Very nice, really.

I had to come back to the computer because I was told a name and did not want to forget it.

As my thoughts wandered in my relaxation, I thought about Rousseau, and imagined what he might say if I were to talk to him. Just sort of an idle musing, really.

It�s funny, he kept complaining about his �follies� or �folles�. I think in reference to his work. I�m not sure, it was all just me musing, I wouldn�t put much stock in it.

But one of the things he told me in his quaint French voice was a name, and I thought to myself that I should not forget this name, whatever it should mean or refer to. He pronounced it with a French twang, so I am representing it phonetically as it sounded to me.

The name he told me is �Etevon�.

No rest for the wicked. Sigh.

The wind is my source of power, at least magically. I feel in tune with it, I love it. The wind is my element.

As I lay in bed, again trying to actually get some freakin� sleep, I listened to the wind outside.

In my mind, these thoughts sort of popped in: An ill wind blows, a dark wind, a poisoned wind.

I�m not a prophet, and have a delightfully terrible record for predicting things psychically, but I get the feeling people are going to die from something carried on the wind, and that it�s going to happen pretty soon.

I tried probing for details, like where or when, but nada, no dice.

Sorry to post what is basically an �I have a bad feeling�� post to an otherwise interesting (to me, anyway) thread, but at this point, oh what the hell.

My brain has been working overtime the last few days, even in my sleep, and I have realized some things and have some questions...

Somehow my brain managed to partially translate what the group entity told me yesterday. It wishes me to stop posting on this website, to stop everything that I have been doing these last few days. If I dont stop it will attack again, but it cant enter my house, I dont know why though. That offers some comfort.

Paul, I have been reading the solist website and am thinking on becoming a solist, though I must put more thought into it. Also, are you the Paul Richard mentioned on the site? Just curious.

Majic, from reading through the website I have a theory on what you saw, could it be a Secondary Godhead Sun?? Just a theory.

To A Random Person

I have followed closely this thread over the last couple of days, the fact that it has captured my attention is testimony to its strangeness as i am a curious being to say the least. I would not have followed it so closely had it not been of interest. What you might find of interest is the lack of other member posts to this thread, i wonder really if they are not so gullible. Although it is not my place to tell you what to do, i think it wise of me to at least make you aware of my concerns.

In light of reading your last post the same thing happened to me just the other night, and i feel it has everything to do with this thread. Be careful ARP people can weave all sorts of things in to their words, the power of suggestion is often not addressed [the authority�s like it that way]. I to have had a message not to continue on this thread and that is what i intend to do. I don�t believe that it is a group entity warning me against learning the truth, i believe something is warning of a deceit. Somebody who is posting here is not what they say or anything like what they would like you to believe. If you look closely at this thread you will find arrogance which there is plenty of in the subtlest of ways.

Remember ARP there are many beliefs and as yet there really is no proof that any singular belief is the correct one. It is a matter of ones own choice of belief which when made and learnt will bring peace to ones inner self which is i think most peoples ultimate goal. There are many beliefs that can other this and if learnt objectively [tis good to be sceptic now and again] will get you there. I personally would steer clear of anything that produces any kind of attack. BEWARE. You could be walking into a trap.

I found it interesting that Majic should point out that he is in no way associated with TSOL. As indeed after last night�s performance i did feel this thread had become a recruiting ground for them.

To call Majic a genius PR goes a little bit to far.

Majic
"All that glitters is not gold, its reality that you need"

hey majik
very interesting thread
one of the great tebetan buddhist lamas was once, in his youth, a practitioner of black arts and destroyed a village by fire, when he repented, he went to an old lama, scared that he would be condemmed to hell and have no hope of salvation, the lama told him "no worries, just build the village again all by yourself, by your hands, and you will have balanced your evil acts". He did so, and far from residing in hell, went on to become enlightened.!!!
thats not to say anyone who does this stuff is special and will become enlightened, well i spose we all will and none of us are any more special or powerful than another, don't want to add to any over inflated egos here :-D, is foolish to practice magic for selfish purposes and anyone who does carries the consequences with them for a long while, who needs magic anyway and if we have such power humans are the last ones fit to use it, best to let the world take care of what the future holds and not us, blah de blah de blah
what i wanted to say was just that all bad deeds can be made up for, if we bother to


[edit on 25-8-2004 by moranity1]

Kode, I will be more careful from now on, though I must think about not posting anymore, and first I must consult a friend who does not know about this for a third party opinion.

I too have seen some arogance, it is one of the greatest follies. English, though bad for conveying certain messages can be used to weave a delicate web of deception.

Earlier I became aware of a sense of something bad coming, a dark shadow, but the odd thing is that I did not so much sense it as was "told" it. It was as if something was trying to get a message through. I will discontinue posting for a while, to decide what to do, this thread could be weaving something dark...

Much to ponder...

Honest Criticism

Originally posted by kode
Although it is not my place to tell you what to do, i think it wise of me to at least make you aware of my concerns.

Kode, we may very well be twin sons of different mothers. As I have previously stated, I love the way you think, and urge you to maintain a skeptical attitude. Also, I just like the honesty that you are manifesting by posting what you really think.

I think yours is one of the most important posts to the thread so far, because I find myself losing sight of some basic truths about which I should know better. Emotion has a way of clouding reason, a lesson I have had to relearn many times, and apparently still do.

This thread is a rather bizarre record of what is turning into a journey of discovery for me. I�m a rather private person, so posting what I am posting here is pretty outrageous, really. If you knew me, you�d freak.

If I were to come upon this thread, and it were posted by someone else, I would be very skeptical. Indeed, as of late it looks like some sort of dog and pony show for TSOL. I have to watch myself, because I am getting the feeling that perhaps I am trying to buy more than I can afford.

Whatever the post or direction this thread takes, I continue to urge and encourage skepticism on the part of all readers, and especially me. By its nature, this thread is about me and rather self-indulgent, so all the more reason I should take my own advice!

I�m not sure how to get around the self-focus, in light of the topic and its evolution. A side effect of this stream-of-consciousness posting by me is that things will tend to wind in strange directions. Maybe I should just let the thread die a natural death, but I�m not done with it just yet, I don�t think.

I can say that what I am posting is true to the best of my knowledge and belief, but who reading this knows who I am? Hopefully, except for my mom and maybe a very few others, no one does.

So I suggest assuming that I am a bald-faced liar, spinning a tale to sell you a bill of goods. After all, look at the titles I have chosen for myself!

If nothing else, I can assure you that I am not offended by your suspicions, but rather urge you to cultivate them. This is a pretty thick topic. It would not do to go flying off the handle -- I think I have that base covered.

Psyoperator, Eh?

Originally posted by kode
Be careful ARP people can weave all sorts of things in to their words, the power of suggestion is often not addressed [the authority�s like it that way].

This is a good description of �perception management�. Beware, far more people indulge in it than probably any of us suspects!

Pegging the Bogometer

Originally posted by kode
I to have had a message not to continue on this thread and that is what i intend to do. I don�t believe that it is a group entity warning me against learning the truth, i believe something is warning of a deceit.

It may be your subconscious, or simply your �bogometer�. �Group entities�? Well, it seems to match certain observations, but that idea is still part of a conceptual model that is not proven, only assumed for now, and hopefully not assumed by everyone reading this thread.

We humans are complex creatures, and I think it would be just plain wrong to attribute every strange feeling to outside influences. We�re quite capable of a wide range of experiences within ourselves, as I am coming to realize to a profound degree.

Whatever world view I am forming is only appropriate for me, and maybe even not for me. I urge anyone reading this to take my warnings seriously and not buy into anything without knowing what you�re getting.

Who Is Who Is Not?

Originally posted by kode
Somebody who is posting here is not what they say or anything like what they would like you to believe.

Well, as best I can tell, I am being truthful in my posts. I invited my mom to read this thread specifically so I can get feedback from her if she sees something fishy. She knows me better than anyone, I think, and I have asked her not to post here, just to comment to me over the phone.

My real name is not �Majic� and I don�t look like my avatar (well, maybe 30 years ago), and I sure as hell am not making my life an open book. What comes through about me in this thread is not even the barest fraction of who I am. I have done many things in my life. This is a new one for me, but you can get a lot done in four decades, believe me.

My advice is to assume that what I post is contrived. It is not necessary for you to believe me. Pretending it�s a story thread or something might not be a bad idea, because, like I say, this is some pretty thick reading.

The True Original Sin

Originally posted by kode
If you look closely at this thread you will find arrogance which there is plenty of in the subtlest of ways.

This is one of my major criticisms of TSOL. There seems to be much on their website borne of desire and fantasy. To seek spiritual advancement is not in itself an unworthy goal, I should think, but to what end? To create a tropical planet for a life of ease?

Also, I have, as stated earlier, issues with lofty titles. In The Society Of Majic (TSOM), one would start out as a �Grand Exalted Master�, and work one�s way up through the ranks through �Adept�, �Acolyte� and then to �Neophyte�. The ultimate achievement would be �Uninitiated�, meaning that one stands alone and is not beholden to the adorations and accolades of others.

I know that sounds perhaps a bit harsh and sarcastic, but I am not making such observations from derision. I agree that pride and the ascension of ego are dangerous traps not only for the mind, but the soul.

And yes, arrogance can manifest itself in very subtle ways. Beware anyone who seems to be looking down their nose at you!

Home-Made Or Store-Bought?

Originally posted by kode
Remember ARP there are many beliefs and as yet there really is no proof that any singular belief is the correct one. It is a matter of ones own choice of belief which when made and learnt will bring peace to ones inner self which is i think most peoples ultimate goal. There are many beliefs that can other this and if learnt objectively [tis good to be sceptic now and again] will get you there. I personally would steer clear of anything that produces any kind of attack. BEWARE. You could be walking into a trap.

This is extremely good advice. Lest anyone misunderstand where I am coming from, there is only one belief I can, in good conscience, urge upon another: To believe in yourself.

I would amend your words, however: It is good to be a skeptic ALWAYS. This is a lesson I keep needing to learn, also.

Shill Or Nil?

Originally posted by kode
I found it interesting that Majic should point out that he is in no way associated with TSOL. As indeed after last night�s performance i did feel this thread had become a recruiting ground for them.

Some of my �afterglow� posts seem to be saying to Paul/Avadar �Hey buddy, I got it now! Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more!� What I saw seemed to confirm some of what Paul has been saying. It was startling, really. Maybe that�s because it�s true, or maybe that�s because it was due to the power of suggestion.

I saw it too, an apparent collusion based on my words. That�s why I posted that disclaimer. But I certainly don�t mind your assuming we�re in cahoots, though we are not. I understand and acknowledge that charge, and deny it, but don�t mind it if you don�t believe my denial.

In fairness to Paul, I don�t think he agrees with some (or more likely most) of my conclusions. I can tell you flat out I am not in with these guys, but I know it sure looks like that at this point, and thus agree that you may as well assume as much. Better safe than sorry. I don�t want to be an unwitting recruiter for Heaven�s Gate II!

There has been, on my part at least, an adoption of some TSOL teachings, notably the model of the spiritual continuum and aura colors. But I agree that matches on some points do not necessarily imply matches on all points.

I R Smort

Originally posted by kode
To call Majic a genius PR goes a little bit to far.

Well, I like to think I�m a pretty sharp guy, but yeah, I don�t (anymore) buy into the �cult of genius� thing. Paul is not the first person to use that term in referring to me. In several different schools I got to take part in those �gifted� programs.

They were fun, and being smart can be fun. But it�s not godhood, and it sure as hell doesn�t make me better than anyone else, though in my youthful arrogance I bought into some of that nonsense. That sort of stuff can warp you. It�s a damned-if-you-do and damned-if-you-don�t scenario.

I would say that I should �play dumb�, but my friends, that game gets old very fast. I suggest drawing your own conclusions about my intelligence, and remember that intelligence and wisdom are very different things.

At least I never bought into the Mensa mutual-admiration society.

Really Unreal

Originally posted by kode
"All that glitters is not gold, its reality that you need"

Were that the nature of reality were so well-defined! I continue to seek it, perhaps in vain.

I know this thread is a rather funky experiment in online journalism, but for now, I wish to continue and see where it ends up. Crazy? Hell yeah!


Edit: I call do-over!



[edit on 8/25/2004 by Majic]