I'd like to share a chart I stumbled upon just the other day when I was looking for answers for my own relationship.
Love vs. Lust
It helped me see things a bit more clearly for myself. I long for a true, deep meaningful relationship. I feel as if I am an object to my
significant other and I'm very tired of it. There's no deep connection, he's fine with it, but I can't handle it anymore. But anyway, that's a
whole other story...
You may very well be a victim of the media pumping sex and vanity in your head but don't lose heart because you have the power to change that. Lust
is short lived as you know...if you keep seeking it, it will eventually turn on you. It will make you it's slave. You don't want to spend your
life being a slave to your base desires. You will be chained and boxed in. You will never experience the deep joy and the full beauty of loving...of
giving and receiving. I read somewhere that we have only two choices that really matter in life - choosing to love and choosing to be loved.
You can disconnect yourself now and begin to repair the damage. Get to know yourself again and focus on the true beauty within yourself, others and
in nature. Your heart and mind are in a conflict, which is a good thing. If there's a battle going on inside, then your spirit is not at peace, it
is telling you something is out of balance and is begging you to do something about it.
There's a great book on spiritual wholeness (non-religious but spiritual) that might help you. It's called Seat of the Soul by Gary Zukav. Check it
out if you can. The chapter on Choice may be particularly helpful for you. Here's part of the book on Google Books:
Seat of the Soul
I hope that in time you will find peace and true love.