Child Free and Proud! Why have kids?

I found this article at www.grist.org. It articulates very simply (some of) the reasons for not having children. The author believes that being childfree is the best choice we can make for society, our future and the future of our home, planet Earth.


www.grist.org...


Personally, I dont have children because I have other things to take up my time and give my life meaning. I feel like many couples have children out of boredom or they have kids because all their friends are having kids. I understand that having kids can enrich your life and give it meaning, but why do I have to hide the fact that other things give my life meaning and having a kid would simply detract from that? Parents, when you ask, "When are you going to have kids?" and I tell you the truth, "That I don't want kids, EVER", does that offend you and seem like I'm insulting your choices? Should I tell the truth or hide behind a veil of uncertainty and say, "We'll see"?

Also, I like my freedom, my independence and disposable income. I do not like diapers, whining, crying or having to instill society's rotten values into a new generation.

I believe that to bring up a child in our current state of society is actually a disservice to them. Our school system treats our brains like the inbox/outbox on an office desk. Our jobs are humiliating, boring and simply to get money to eat food. Some people, mostly our leaders, are mean, selfish and self serving. Why would I want to put another human being through all that? The purpose of my life has been to SAVE people from that misery. Aren't 7 billion suffering people enough? I wont have kids until society is ready to treat them like human beings.


Biology and society make it very compelling to have children. But if you simply follow biology you're an animal and if you simply follow society you're a sucker. I say, be a human being and make a thought out, well planned CHOICE to have children.

What does ATS think?

reply to post by doctornamtab


PS. I don't know how to put this into a different forum. I want it to be in Fragile Earth but don't know how to do it. Can anyone help?

I didn't have kids either. And I'm SO glad I didn't. There was a time when I very much wanted to, but it didn't work out for us and now, I wouldn't have it any other way. I wouldn't want to bring kids up in this world. I wouldn't want them to be exposed to the hatred, violence and sickness that is this society. I wouldn't want to leave them to straighten out the messes we've made. The dirty air, water, food... I don't know why people are still choosing to have kids in this world today.

Without children how are we going to advance as a civilization...?

I think some people should have children some people should not. But we should still have kids in general.

Originally posted by doctornamtab
Also, I like my freedom, my independence and disposable income.

Bingo. I mention these things often to those who ask me when my wife and myself are going to have children. I tend to get a negative response back as well. "Oh that's just selfish isn't it?" "You don't know what you're missing." "Oh you'll find a way to afford it when it happens." etc. etc. etc.

My wife and I choose not to have children. Neither of us are financially or emotionally capable of raising a child. Both of us have discussed our feelings on the subject and have concluded that at this time and in the foreseeable future our minds will not change. We have agreed to talk about it further in a few more years to see if our feelings have changed.

Heck the only reason we're even talking about it is because I at least entertain the possibility that I may change my mind. My wife on the other hand believes that she will never change her mind on the subject.

Neither of us particularly like children ("Oh but it changes when it's your own!") nor do we have the patience needed to deal with a child. Also, both of us like our disposable income and our "toys". All of those go out the window with a child sucking up your extra money. Same with vacations, we like to go on cruises on occasion, hard to bring a child with you for one of those.

Although I do have to stop myself from time to time when hearing friends and co-workers state "Oh we're having a baby", I have to hold my tongue from saying "Why on earth would you do that?"

reply to post by doctornamtab


I fully agree with the above posters and have chosen not to have kids myself (Well, my beloved and I, really). Personally for me though the strongest reason (and this is true to some extent for anyone caught going to this website) is that saying the things I say and doing the things I do makes life unsafe or less free for me and all those who are connected to me.
Now most of my friends and co-workers know this and accept it as a necessary consequence, or they just don't know anything about my opinions or habits.
But uh, it would be way mean to a child to expose them to these kinds of risks without their consent (or ability to consent, perhaps). Any child of mine would be spied upon unmercifully, attended to more closely by controller-types, and probably questioned a few times and asked to spy on me themselves. Like I said, this is probably true of almost anyone who comes to ATS, unless they only come here to support the official story of everything.
Also, you can never really do anything important which is against status quo if you have kids. If what you did was important enough, the authorities would simply take away (kidnap) your children, because you must be an unfit parent. If you have children, you can try to change things, but only so hard. When it gets too thick, you either get out or drag your kids in there with you. So if you still have your children, and you think you're making the world a better place, it must not be working very well.
Now this only applies to a certain extent in the United States right now. For this week the government still feels pressure to maintain a certain courtesy in their machinations and renditions of folk, etc., but that isn't true in a lot of places, and isn't true here forever.
The second biggest reason is that I love my girlfriend too much, and it wouldn't be fair to either of us to have to divide our attention. That's just the way we like to run things though, not for everyone. Some people (most) who have children just aren't desperately in love every minute of every day, and the children aren't really too much of a distraction. Like it or not, once you have children you are no longer a happy couple. Now there's an interloper.




[edit on 2-4-2010 by IceOwl]

Originally posted by Maddogkull
Without children how are we going to advance as a civilization...?

I think some people should have children some people should not. But we should still have kids in general.

yes- let's make all the quakers, monks, and nuns have children as they are the only people worthy or capable of love (that's a joke, throwing in the quakers.....you see all those listed don't usually have sex anyway)

i don't have kids- i was paralyzed as a teenager and decimated as an adult.
from my perspective it seems like having a kid is the same as sacrificing both yours and their lives (freedom, happiness, hope, however you want to look at it). i have the greatest respect and sympathy for parents.
that's my last name "Parent" and yet, no kids......life can sure be funny

Yeah I don't have any kids either and don't plan on having any with the world like it is now. Why bring children into this world to suffer at the hands of the control system. It would be alot better to have kids on a civil planet where everyone did not have to be slaves. This is probably what the system is aiming for too. Have all the smart people who realise this not have any kids, so they will be able to control the newer generations easier as my kids would not be allowed to be brainwashed by the TPTB. Fits in with their population control plans too. I could go back to my high paying job and play the slave game and bring kids into the world so they can be slaves too lol but why would I want to!!

Yeah, because when you die, you will have accrued more stuff and probably had more casual sex than someone who has had kids.

Is a relationship with a child or children of you're own worth the drawbacks? That is the real question...

[edit on 2-4-2010 by SmokeandShadow]

[edit on 2-4-2010 by SmokeandShadow]

i feel lucky to have recovered from the mental disease that was subjected to me from my own parents. most people dont.

i certainly would not want to be responsible for screwing up some other kids life.

I applaud those that can stand free and proud without needing to breed.

Many people do not understand that they can find their own life purpose, and have a perfectly fulfilling life without needing to drown the rest of us out with their offspring.

People have no idea how much WASTE and crap goes into the earth and atmosphere, just because of what resulted from their one unprotected romp.

And yes... If we think governments are becoming tyrannical and controlling now, just wait til future generations figure out what is going on.

I do not feel offended by people that choose not to breed. I feel happy for them. And proud of their ability to find reason in their own life without needing that extension of their own ego to make them feel whole.

I kind of wished MORE people would choose this lifestyle by now, or that at least we would be encouraged to do so.... Instead of tyrannical asshats needing to inflict famine and disease on us, to accomplish population control THAT WAY.

Another way I see it, is why give TPTB more free cannonfodder for their wars for profit? Makes no sense to me.

My Ex had a couple of abortions due to here being a stundent and a diffrent race. Since then i never fancied kids,

Im only 26 so i cant rule it out but i like the article, its the way i have been thinking since i was 20

Cool post thanks

I always wondered why people in the 3rd world would have children after seeing other children die of hunger..

reply to post by doctornamtab

I believe that to bring up a child in our current state of society is actually a disservice to them.

That's where the parent comes in. If you're letting society raise your kid, there's a problem.

Our school system treats our brains like the inbox/outbox on an office desk.

In reality, I think that has more to do with the teachers than the system itself. I had many teachers when I was in school that actually took an interest in the kids and made sure that we actually were learning stuff.

Again though, this is where the parents come in. If parents are involved in their children's schooling, the system would become less and less of this "in/outbox" that you speak of.

Our jobs are humiliating, boring and simply to get money to eat food.

Not everyone views their job that way. Yes, some do, but that's because they probably took this view about work (that it's just for putting food on the table, humiliating, and boring) instead of trying to go and do something that they'd actually enjoy doing for the rest of their life.

Some people, mostly our leaders, are mean, selfish and self serving.

A parent can teach there kid to not be that way.

I just thought that, our leaders have kids often times. If us normal folk choose to not have kids, that would mean that the whole human race would become worse off than it is. Why should it be that way? We should try and turn things around!

Why would I want to put another human being through all that?

As I said before, the parent can make all the difference in the world.

The purpose of my life has been to SAVE people from that misery. Aren't 7 billion suffering people enough?

Not everyone is suffering.

I wont have kids until society is ready to treat them like human beings.

It starts with the parents. If you're not willing to buck the trend, maybe you shouldn't have kids.

From a materialists viewpoint having kids would be absolutely ludicrous, and i feel sorry for the materialists that do, as kids do cost a lot of money, and they do take up a lot of your time.

From a spiritual viewpoint though, I don't believe there's anything greater than having my little girl walking around shouting "Daddah". She is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I think having kids is a fantastic life experience, it holds countless challenges and there's definitely a lot of value in that for the evolving soul.

Yes these are hard-times though, and at first glance bringing a child into this world could be perceived as selfish, unless you do infact take into consideration the value of hard situations.


"Adversity is the stone on which I sharpen my blade"

Each to their own i guess, just throwing my two cents in.

I really liked the article. Personally I did choose to have kiddos love them to death

I would like to say, there are many reasons why people choose not to have kids.

I guess I would like to say is, that when a person chooses not to have kids, for the right reasons (gah so trying to articulate this correctly and thoughtfully here.. bare with me okay) and dug deep for the reasons why and made the best possible choices for them. I think it is great. It is a hard choice to make with all of the pressures from just about everywhere coming at them from every direction.

It really does take a strong person to make the best choices for themselves. And I think that should be applauded.

I also really liked how the article pointed out that they did like kids. Because lots of time people who choose not to have kids get lumped into the 'hate kids' bandwagon. Which is often not the case.

And for the person who asked about 3rd World Countries still popping them out.. Poor areas, no real birth control kinda equal breeding like rabbits.

here's one of the best reasons for not having kids I've heard in a while.

caution strong language

reply to post by LostNemesis

People have no idea how much WASTE and crap goes into the earth and atmosphere, just because of what resulted from their one unprotected romp.

I don't buy into the whole all humans are bad for the environment thing. We do not have alot choice in this system if we want to be somewhat normal like... Companies do not use bio degradable packaging so the dumps fill up. Compaines keep putting out chemicals so they end up out in our environnment. They surpress pollution free travel and make us use gasoline. The system is slow at changing and hence we end up with a polluted environment. Humans having babies is not the problem, the problem is the system!

Anyone who thinks that people should not have kids should put their money where their reproductive systems are. And if they walk the walk, then good for them.

For those who understand giving/order and Life, teach your children to live well. When has this world been the best place to raise a good soul? Teach them to live for things that are eternal and stop letting the weak minded drag us down.

[edit on 4/2/2010 by Dasher]

reply to post by Dasher


I would like to find out how many of us at ATS are fixed.

2nd line.

3rd line, just as important as the last two.

reply to post by woodwardjnr


lol that video was horrible. Carbon imprints lol. Don't let them brainwash you too bad now! Oh humans are so bad for the environmnet, we better start exterminating them all its for the betterment of the world lmao. Its the system that is bad for the world! Not the humans! We could have a pollution free system! But guess what... that would mean way less control for TPTB!!


[edit on 2-4-2010 by (C2C)]