Child Free and Proud! Why have kids?

reply to post by tappy


same here at least im not the only one,show picture of an animal and i cant help melting but show me a baby and i cringe.
i even hate the smell of babies its the smell of milk sick hate it makes me gag

A good friend of mine once told me why he thought people should have children. He said that if people who are in a relationship love each other so much that they want to share that love in a third person who is the very embodiment of that love then they should have children.

That struck me when he said it. It seemed perfectly right to me. I suppose that's both a positive reason to have children if you experience that type of love in your relationship and a negative if you don't.

It's possible to be happy with kids.
It's possible to be miserable with kids.
It's possible to be happy without kids.
It's possible to be miserable without kids.

There, that covers most of the bases, doesn't it?

i do wonder why some people take such offence to people not wanting children.
its a life choice just like any other choice in life.

reply to post by doctornamtab


Without even reading any other replies to your topic, I am going to give you my opinion.

I am a Mom, and have 4 very beautiful children, who are now of child bearing years.

None of them have even the slightest thought of ever reproducing. I am so proud of them!

They saw me struggle as a single parent, putting aside my own dreams to make sure they were taken care of. They saw me be both a mother and a father, keeping the family together, as being both nurturing, and the disciplinarian.

Why risk it, when over half the children in the US grow up in households that are single parent? Unless they are sure they want a child for just themselves, most people should not, ever have any!!!!!!!

A biological clock might be kicking, but so are the other responsibilites that go along with it. It never ends, even when you children branch out on thier own.

Wan't a nice house? Don't have kids. Wan't a nice vacation, where you can travel anywhere? Don't have kids. Like free time for yourself, after working all day? Don't have kids. Wan't a nice car that doesn't seat 6? Don't have kids. The list could go on and on......

Increasingly, it hard enough to support oneself in a lifestyle that isn't infringed upon by just about everything.

I'm pleased not to be a grandmother, that my own children can have a nice life, taking care of themselves.

If I end up with some little ones to cuddle and hold, I will love them just the same, but my children being happy, is over and above that of any little other soul they might pop into the world.

My oldest son, and daughter pretty much summed up what children will be to them, and I can't disagree.....parasites............

Children can, and will suck the life and soul out of you. Be sure you are ready!

reply to post by doctornamtab


i bet you 50% of people with a child did not intend the first child. it just happens. then you have no choice but to take care of it or murder it in the womb. and most people make the choice of taking care of it.

Originally posted by kerrichin
reply to post by tappy

 

same here at least im not the only one,show picture of an animal and i cant help melting but show me a baby and i cringe.
i even hate the smell of babies its the smell of milk sick hate it makes me gag

That's not milk - its formula. You've only been around formula fed babies.

With many of the people on this thread, this is a form of discrimination and hatred.

One that would be considered gross under other contexts.

Replace the word "Black" or "Woman" in your dialogue, and this would be apparent to you.

Don't have children. I would actually prefer the haters to not have children. I would feel bad everyday for your children.

But you are what you are - and what most of you are is haters. You actively participate in an internal and societal dialogue of hatred. One that by its nature extends into hatred of women often, and the curtailing of their freedoms as well.

Child Free isn't. In some realistic people, it is merely a lifestyle choice. But in the other group, the "parasite" group for example, it is an accepted form of discrimination and you should be ashamed.

Originally posted by Aeons


Child Free isn't. In some realistic people, it is merely a lifestyle choice. But in the other group, the "parasite" group for example, it is an accepted form of discrimination and you should be ashamed.

Why be ashamed of the truth?

Some people do not need children, and if more people gave it consideration before actually creating some, the world would be a better place. Some people have children for all the wrong reasons, #1 being that they lack so much love themselves that they think a child will replace that.

It doesn't work that way. Children are their own people, and will have their own agenda's with or without you.

Let me tell you from experience that some people do not need, or deserve children.

My husband has a daughter who is a meth addict and lost 4 of hers last year. The state took them away from her, so her sister who had 3 children of her own stepped in and took them to keep them out of the system. So, now she is raising 7 children. Lo and behold, the sister who lost 4 throught the system decided she was entitled to claim them on her income tax, because she thought she would get enough money back to buy herself a car.

Not every situation is the same. Some people who plan for children and whom would make wonderful parents, never get any.

In any case, the thought of brining little SOULS into the world, and not just babies, is something that takes serious thought and preperation.

By hindsight, with the hardships that I suffered alone as a single parent, I never would have had any children at all, and my children know this, because I am honest. I would hate for any of them to ever endure what I did. My life would have been 100% better, but it does not mean that I don't love my children. I'm happy they learned to look out for themselves, and weigh what a CHILD, would do to their lifestyles, after struggling like they did when they grew up.

Children are a lifelong commitment, long after they turn legal age. They are not like adopting a chihuahua!

Have them for all the right reasons, not just because YOU think you might be a good parent, and babies are cute.

Originally posted by Blanca Rose
Wan't a nice house? Don't have kids. Wan't a nice vacation, where you can travel anywhere? Don't have kids. Like free time for yourself, after working all day? Don't have kids. Wan't a nice car that doesn't seat 6? Don't have kids. The list could go on and on......

Really? My parents had three kids, and we had a nice house, a great car and went on nice vacations. Dad would bust his ass at the squadron and still come home and do stuff with us, and have his free time.

Kids don't hold you back, you just have plan differently. It's all a matter of logistics.

Originally posted by jerico65


Really? My parents had three kids, and we had a nice house, a great car and went on nice vacations. Dad would bust his ass at the squadron and still come home and do stuff with us, and have his free time.

How wonderful for you, that your Dad was able to do all of that. You are very blessed. You said it yourself, though....."Dad would bust his ass." I hope you are able to reciprocate to your father for that!

Kids don't hold you back, you just have plan differently. It's all a matter of logistics.

Kids do hold you back, from accomplishing all the above you mentioned, at a faster pace. People should have those things in place already before they have children. Also, while you might have missed a comment I made above, it was really important in the equation. Half of marriages end in divorce, leaving a one parent household. Now, if your father had managed to keep you accustomed to the lifestyle you wrote about, would a single parent be able to accomplish that as well? Pretty hard to do, so thank your lucky stars you had what you did.

Then there is another issue to consider, which is children who are raised in a lousy household where the parents should divorce!

So many pro's and con's to having children....every situation that is possible should be considered first!

Only people who are, on some level, unhappy or insecure with their own choices insist that everyone else live the same as them. Tnis is because the can't stand to contemplate the possibility that some people might be happy having made different choices -- it reminds them of their own (largely subconscious and unvoiced) regrets.

This goes for both people with kids and people without kids.

When I was young, I was very careful, as I wanted to CHOOSE to have children, rather than fall into fatherhood.

Later, when I met my bride, by that time I didn't want to have kids, and thankfully she was of the same mind. Later God/Nature[insert other] backed up that decision and she had to have a hysterectomy. Of course, we could've adopted.

I can't say, though, that I'm particularly proud of being childless. I don't feel the loss that many seem to feel FOR me (family and friends), and I realize that one of us -- either my Bride or me -- will ultimately die alone.

It's a tough ol' world out there, and seems it has always been so. I wish more than anything that children were chosen and then created/adopted into a loving relationship. I wish children didn't have to emerge into a world of suffering. I've seen a lot of horror in my life, but what touches me far more than death and the atrocities of human monsters is the hunger, terror and suffering of children who've never known what safety felt like.

Nope, I'm not proud of being childless. I would've made a good dad, but I'm not sorry for the course we chose. We enjoy other peoples' kids and then send them home with fanciful ideas. I know my Mother was disappointed to not have grandkids. She shouldn't have laid that curse on me....... "someday! YOU! WILL! have! kids ....... JUST! like you!!!"

reply to post by doctornamtab


silly boy...you're a child till you have one!

I respect your choice to not have children. That is your right. I felt that way for a long time, but have recently changed my mind. I am the last in my family tree and I feel a responsibility to carry on the family. It probably wasn't until I learned of the depopulation agenda that I REALLY wanted to have a child. Those two reasons have opened my eyes to many other better reasons that I should, like the incredible feelings of watching your child grow, mature and become a man/woman. I also feel that my child may someday make a difference in the world if I teach and nurture them properly. Although the world we live in is a terrible place, it has always been full of the very same things we go through today and that perspective also helped me change my mind.

[edit on 15-4-2010 by BrianInRI]

Honestly - - there is not one unselfish reason for having a child.

Choosing to have a child is a purely selfish and self-indulgent act for personal gratification.

reply to post by doctornamtab


it's funny you say that, because while I share similar feelings you do regarding the subject of children. I look around and can't help but notice how many people are in fact pregnant. I know a girl that wants to get pregnant, because she feels it will "get her life on track". Aren't you suppose to have a children out of love? More importantly aren't you suppose to bring a child into to this when you can take care of it? What are you going to do though; ask people to fight their natural instinct to procreate lol?

Why have kids? Three reasons....

1) It is a thumb in the eye of the environmental fascists, who want to "save the earth" from more pollution, waste, overcrowding;

2) Passing on my very superior genetic material;

3) So I will have somebody to play with.

I do like kids, well behaved, but won't have any. Personally, I just don't want to spend the money or time. Unfortunately, most people that decide not to have kids are upper income, college educated, just the type of people you WANT to have children to raise the bar so that there are more educated, thinking people in the world. People that don't give a flying leap tend to have lots of kids that they can't support or educate. Yes, it's a generalization, but the more educated people step back and say hey, i can't afford this (without gov't help), or I don't have the personality/fortitude for it and I don't think it would be a good idea.

So while it might keep a few less people from being born, overall it does nothing to stunt population. Just allows more and more dumb people are born into the world to crap all over it.

On the other hand, I do think souls need a place to learn and Earth is da bomb for kicking your ass and teaching you some very important things. I think what I learned this time around is not to have kids...can't afford them, can't take the screaming, demanding attitudes and crapping all over the place, and I have the intelligence to know I am not missing out on anything. If I ever have to parent, and feel it is something I MUST do, I will adopt or foster. 'Nuff kids to go around from what I can see...