A Little Help For Women Trying To Understand Men!

Absolutely BRILLIANT .. I e-mailed a copy to the Woman, maybe something will click in her head and she will "get it" haha..

The "Toys" aspect is absolutely true.. my computer burned out and for me it was the end of the World as all I have now is my phone and a dinosaur of a laptop.. she just doesn't understand..

# 5, 22, 7 (also loosing socks haha), 18 are my favs...

And of course if it wasn't mentioned..

Us men like to think ourselves as manly men who control every aspect of our world. We are masculine and invincible.. until we get sick. Then we have to be treated like big babies .. it's quite pathetic sometimes.

yea true true,we need toys and we are babyes sometimes,but comeone thats cute...its better then being some ugly prostitute drinking ice tea and punching the elevator door yeling "eeeeeeeee"...i was so sleepy and relaxed,scared me,god its not easy to not hit women like that!

reply to post by operation mindcrime


Anytime we park on the street we have to do a Chinese Fire Drill in the middle of the road so I can parallel park for her. Otherwise the car ends up half way in the road 5ft from the curb .. possibly facing the wrong direction, you never know.. (and if you're wondering why I don't just drive to begin with, I CANNOT stand back seat drivers! .. So I absolutely refuse to drive her car with her inside at ANY time.. I told her one day to shut up or drive, well she didn't stop so now she drives. Been protesting this way for about 8 months. In my car I can drive, if she tries to backseat navigate I turn the radio up and say it's MY car. And if we get lost, which we sometimes do, I blame mapquest.

It's not that guys hate asking for directions.. we just hate a constant nagging voice in our right ear the entire time we are trying to drive and figure out where we are!

To clarify as my girl may be an exceptional case. She has this anxiety issue.. lets say we are driving down the highway on I-5 .. busy highway, and I will be driving along and she will suddenly scream and say something like "WATCH OUT!" ..... a truck just merged from the onramp to the lane to my left. I was in my lane, he was in his lane, there was absolutely no potential collision. Doesn't matter, she still screams. Or if cars break in front of me she does a dramatic grabbing of the "oh ** bar" and one hand on the dash, and I get a lecture on proper breaking distance.

[edit on 8/28/2009 by Rockpuck]

Originally posted by DaMod
22. My personal favorite. Boys need their toys. We love our toys. We cherish our toys and sometimes want to get more toys. Remember this is a must for all men. For some men it's a truck or a car or a boat or a 4 wheeler or all of the above. For others its a bad ass gaming computer and all the peripherals. For others it might be their shop with all their power tools or the guy with a particle accelerator in his basement

. Some have small toys and some have big toys but only one constant remains, we need our toys.

Well said brother. My fiance has a pretty rocky relationship with my 4X4, lol. And when i'm not wanting to buy new stuff for it, it's gold mining equipment. I think #22 is the biggest problem area between us and them, rightully bolded.

Originally posted by Rockpuck
To clarify as my girl may be an exceptional case. She has this anxiety issue.. lets say we are driving down the highway on I-5 .. busy highway, and I will be driving along and she will suddenly scream and say something like "WATCH OUT!" ..... a truck just merged from the onramp to the lane to my left. I was in my lane, he was in his lane, there was absolutely no potential collision. Doesn't matter, she still screams. Or if cars break in front of me she does a dramatic grabbing of the "oh ** bar" and one hand on the dash, and I get a lecture on proper breaking distance.

I can assure you she is not the exception. I deal with the same exact thing, only her anxiety also includes ANY driving next to semi trucks, at all. She's certain we're going to be sucked into the wheels of the beast and thrown like a pebble, lol. And any time she sees brake lights ahead, no matter how far, she gasps for air. Also, when she's riding in the passenger seat, she is a terrible judge of our position in the lane, and thinks i'm riding the left line, when i'm perfectly centered in the lane. Makes me crazy.

[edit on 28-8-2009 by 27jd]

Different things are important to men than women.

For example, it gives Mrs. Frogs emotional pleasure to have the house clean. To me, sure it looks kinda better when it isn't all cluttered, but at the end of the day - it just a task that needs to be done. I don't really get any happiness out of everything being dusted.

But, she does - so when she askes for help with it I try to do a good job of it because I like to make her happy. However, I'll admit she could not understand how all the knick nacks being dusted did not bring me happiness. I was happy that she was happy. The level of dust on the knick nacks didn't effect my happiness one way or the other.

We communicate differently. Often times we use few words. I've gotten in trouble before because after doing something like dusting I'd be like, "Ok - its done" and move on to the next thing. To her it was like I didn't care about something important to her because she could tell it was basically just a task to me.

Until --- she asked a guy she worked with to do something. She wrote him a very lengthy email. Detailing what she wanted, how she felt about, hopeful outcomes of it, etc. The email was like a screen long.

She got back a one word reply.. "Done!"

That kind of showed her that we'll often do things because we like you, love you, you are our friend, etc. But, that is the reason we do them. We likely won't attach the same value to them you do.

Like if you guy asks you - "Honey, will you bake me a cake?" To him he may love your cake and it will have meaning for him. For you, you may do it because you love him - but for you its just another thing to cook.

Bravo!

14. Some men like video games. Some games are online and cannot be paused. If you want him to do something at least let him get to a good stopping point. Sometimes this may take 20 mins or so to achieve. He will find that stopping point and get you whatever you need. (most of the time, again all men are different) Please remember number 10 here.

Ha! that is one of my favorite rules, and i feels it's universal. Can't stand someone interrupting me on an online game like it's the end of the world when they don't realize it's so important because THEY want it.

reply to post by 27jd


YES sounds EXACTLY like my girl.. wow I thought I suffered alone.. so surely you understand my protesting of refusing to drive her car with her inside haha. Sometimes we would be driving and she would suddenly say I need to switch lanes because I was "getting to close to shoulder" lol.. and when we lived in Ohio in all the highway construction, the lanes were walled in with concrete barriers for about 5 miles.. it was like torture every time, she would get so worked up I almost thought I really was going to be magnetically pulled into the wall and run over by a truck haha...

Incidentally, my Chevy met it's end when I was crushed by a RV into a concrete wall on the highway.. tis a good thing she wasn't in the car i'd have never heard the end of it.

Originally posted by 27jd

Originally posted by Rockpuck
To clarify as my girl may be an exceptional case. She has this anxiety issue.. lets say we are driving down the highway on I-5 .. busy highway, and I will be driving along and she will suddenly scream and say something like "WATCH OUT!" ..... a truck just merged from the onramp to the lane to my left. I was in my lane, he was in his lane, there was absolutely no potential collision. Doesn't matter, she still screams. Or if cars break in front of me she does a dramatic grabbing of the "oh ** bar" and one hand on the dash, and I get a lecture on proper breaking distance.

I can assure you she is not the exception. I deal with the same exact thing, only her anxiety also includes ANY driving next to semi trucks, at all. She's certain we're going to be sucked into the wheels of the beast and thrown like a pebble, lol. And any time she sees brake lights ahead, no matter how far, she gasps for air. Also, when she's riding in the passenger seat, she is a terrible judge of our position in the lane, and thinks i'm riding the left line, when i'm perfectly centered in the lane. Makes me crazy.

[edit on 28-8-2009 by 27jd]

Oh boy. I do the same thing when I'm a passenger in any car, no matter who is driving. The reason is that I have been in four major car wrecks over a period of years when someone else was driving; 70 mph into a tree, flipped end over end in the middle of the street (no brakes), head on into a ditch at 60 mph, broadsided into a school bus at 65 mph and finally, rear-ended on the freeway at a sudden traffic jam. So, my reactions are perfectly understandable, if annoying. The only time I feel safe in a car is when I am driving. I don't think it has anything to do with gender or control issues. Its reactionary. I have never had a wreck while driving I might add. I hope this post doesn't jinx me!

Edit to change the math. Five major wrecks not four. lol

[edit on 28-8-2009 by Hazelnut]

Men are not emotional creatures.....

If we explain why we are so wound up about something it gets very frustrating if our “feeling” about the situation is diminished, ignored, negated, blown the hell off because you want to get back to your video game. Men often use the excuse “I’m a man. I won’t ever understand so that keeps me from having to talk about it and I can go back to the video game” escape method and that in and of it’s self shows utter disrespect to your partner. You can play video games for the rest of your life. Right now your partner is upset.

2.

Men take things literally. If you say don't buy me a present, to us that doesn't mean buy you a present. If you say you don't care (even if you do) it means you don't care to us. Say what you mean for the love of god.

Just a hint guys we get frustrated when you ask, “What do you want for such and such celebratory gift”. We’ve looked at things all year and have pointed them out. We’ve told you all year about things we would like. We don’t want to tell you what we want a week before it’s time for you to purchase something. We would like for you to try and remember the things we’ve mentioned in the past. We want you to put some effort into it. Perhaps you could keep a list like we girls do and write things down throughout the year if you can’t remember. If you know it’s a weakness that troubles your partner work on it. The excuse of “I’m a man and therefore CAN’T do this right” is a cop out and diminishes thoughtful men everywhere.


3.

Men need more alone time than women or we go clinically insane

Really so if your partner takes care of the kids all week, does the grocery shopping, cleans the house, does the school registrations, & refreshes her make up before you come home all while working 10 hour days with 2.5 hrs of travel time each day she doesn’t need some alone time? If her alone time means she has to get out of the house and away from everyone what she’s thinking is that she’ll kill two birds (or 5 or 6 ) with one stone and go to the mall where she can a) get some badly needed exercise b) find that size 15 pair of shoes one of your sons needs c) drop off the movies you rented last weekend d) see if she can find a gift for Christmas that you would like e) stop by the grocery store to pick up the milk you need f) relax. You are negating the value of the work a woman puts forth in the household and relegating her to a slave status that needs to do more work with less personal time.

4.

Men communicate differently than women.We are more straight forward with the way they say things. We may say something we mean one way and women throw it all out of proportion.

This instance is familiar to me. Not so much the makeup thing but the twisting of things. I saw my step mother do it to my father for years and it’s a sure sign you’ve picked an emotionally unstable immature partner. It’s almost abusive. On the other hand my husband told me last week that he doesn’t rush home because no one else in the office does. I just walked away but thought to myself that I had been rushing home for 19 years to take care of kiddos so why can’t he rush home on the week before the boys start school to help out? Why can’t he rush home on a Friday night? We’ve been out with each other 1 time in 2 years. Just once I would like to see him rush home so we could take care of business and then maybe go out. I don’t think I blew it out of proportion visibly but it sure hurt.

5. We don't like being talked down to, which is actually the biggest reason we cheat. Disrespect of males is pretty common…...

I’ve seen this too and I never thought I would be a person to do it. However, when your man shows that he can’t be trusted to make decisions or utilize his time wisely and it has a profoundly negative impact on the family over and over again because he won’t listen to your loving suggestions or gentle reminding then he’s shown his lack of respect for you. You didn’t sign on to be his mother you signed on to have a partner.

7. Most of us leave socks on the floor, deal with it.

Ok we’ll deal with your nasty socks but we get to start leaving bloody period underwear laying around or soaking in the sink when your guy friends start coming over for a beer.

8. For some reason we feel the need to release methane into the air on a fairly regular basis. I'm sorry, you have no choice, get used to it.

Ok but if you fart and burp and then grab our boob and try to get a little sumpin sumpin within 30 seconds of said release don’t expect a good response. Instead we might just be ready to start a good’ol competition.

9. Men must have time to do manly things. For some it's hunting or fishing while for others it could be a jam session or bowling league.

Oh silly me and all this time I had been asking my hubby to sit down and crochet afghans with me.

10. Men get drawn into things. If you talk to your man while he is focused on something and he doesn't respond stay calm, it's just how we are.

Wow I thought only women did this. You know like when I’m trying to have a little me time and he asks where something is or tells me a kid is bleeding or has an open fracture and I just like totally don’t hear him. Men listen but just like women we all get wrapped up in stuff. We all have too much to do now days and communication can be daunting at times. At the end of our day our brains are fried. It’s not just a man thing we are all victims of this anomaly.

11. Men sometimes don't understand why you are mad at them. This is normal, when they ask you whats wrong tell them wtf is wrong…..

This too can happen to anyone. Man or woman. I’ve seen both do it. Stop what you are doing. Think about what has just transpired. What was said? What was done? How did you act or react? Why does everything require a complicated explanation? Try to figure it out. Your partner may be so upset that if she or he does try to explain it they are going to go nucking futs on you because you just did something completely uncalled for and totally insensitive.

12. Men are not your slaves. If you think or act different we will not like it very much.

Real women don’t want slaves. They want partners. I’ve made sure the kids did their 1 chore every night this week. Why can’t you go grab the 15 year old that’s smoking with his friends in the backyard and jump his ass for not having the dishes done on his night? I can get my own damn lotion and tea. You go pull the plug on the 20 year old’s internet and tell him to clean his damn bathroom because his momma ain’t his bitch. Maybe if you guys stop playing the victim you’re woman will stop feeling justified in asking you to wait on her hand and foot for 30 minutes once a week. If you aren’t doing much or aren’t thinking things through and doing them effectively or teaching your children then I think you can wait on your woman every once in a while since she's probably been doing all of it to the best of her ability.

reply to post by Fu Hao

Really so if your partner takes care of the kids all week, does the grocery shopping, cleans the house, does the school registrations, & refreshes her make up before you come home all while working 10 hour days with 2.5 hrs of travel time each day she doesn’t need some alone time? If her alone time means she has to get out of the house and away from everyone what she’s thinking is that she’ll kill two birds (or 5 or 6 ) with one stone and go to the mall where she can a) get some badly needed exercise b) find that size 15 pair of shoes one of your sons needs c) drop off the movies you rented last weekend d) see if she can find a gift for Christmas that you would like e) stop by the grocery store to pick up the milk you need f) relax. You are negating the value of the work a woman puts forth in the household and relegating her to a slave status that needs to do more work with less personal time.

I find it very sexist that Women think they do EVERYTHING and men to NOTHING... it's simply not true at all .. many men do far more than the credit we are given. But does our society respect FATHERS? Absolutely not.. men are portraited as sitting in front of the telly with a hand down his pants drinking a beer watching the game while the women in the background runs around frantically doing all the things that matter. Or else if you've ever noticed in ANY commercial for, well, anything, the wife is seen as the "I can do everything" while the husband is always portrayed as barely being able to put his own pants on right.

Exactly. The media treats men horribly but many men use just those examples to do less and to reflect what they see on TV or even hear in music. Women do it to. They dress in uncomfortable clothes and wear goobs of makeup and then go out and spending tons of money they don't have at clubs while they leave their men at home on the weekend because somehow they deserve it. There's some song by Alan Jackson I think that my husband and I just hate. It's got some lyrics like,"I picked up the baby this morning at the nursery.
That ain't no big thing; It's a gold star for me." We always thought that if you think that's some big thing you should get a gold star for maybe you shouldn't have kids or be in a relationship.

13. Men tend to like different certain subjects than women. For some men like science, women don't. For some the difference is books, or movies, politics, religion. When your man starts talking about a subject you don't like, listen to him anyway. We listen to you when you talk about the color curtains you want to put up so please listen to us if we want to talk about the fleecing of America. It will all be over soon and he will feel a sense of fulfillment.

Stop dating girls and go for women. They can discuss science and economics and hard stuff like that.
For the guys:
If you take your woman out for dinner and she starts talking about world affairs please try to have a discussion about the subject. We girls know it’s hard. For the guy who dreamed up these comments we know you just took your woman out as an obligation. You know, so you can say,” I got you out of the house and bought you dinner from our joint bank account and I expect to be able to smoke a joint and drink a beer and then go home and get me some. I do not expect to have to carry on a conversation”. We know you want to sit there and zone out on your chicken tenders and southwestern egg rolls. It does not make us feel valued or loved and we are not going to want to put out. Oh and if you ask us what’s wrong on the way home we are probably going to be pissed.

14. Some men like video games. Some games are online and cannot be paused. If you want him to do something at least let him get to a good stopping point. Sometimes this may take 20 mins or so to achieve. He will find that stopping point and get you whatever you need. (most of the time, again all men are different) Please remember number 10 here.

If your guy is on a video game or mowing dead grass all day on a Saturday when the house needs to be cleaned and the kids need to be fed and he’s done this for hours every weekend you might think about breaking the game/mower/weedwacker. Guys we women need to get up and get things done and then we can relax. If you spent less time on the video games and started taking care of business then in a couple of hours when you wife goes grocery shopping, checks on the sick relatives, picks up the kids friend for the sleep over and yada yada you can play games. But if you can’t see that the fish tank needs to be cleaned and filled, the toilets need to be scrubbed, the table needs to be wiped off, and the microwave degooked then there’s a problem. And again when you want her ready to pay attention to you in the evening after you’ve played video games or sat in the garage all day don’t expect her to be too passionate about anything but sleep.

15. Men don't think every little thing is the end of the world, neither should you.

We don’t except when you’ve not listened to us, not rushed home but did rush to go out with your friends, ignored the kids, spent all day on video games/in the garage/mowing that same dirt, while we had to remind you that the liquor store closed at 9pm like it does every night, had to pick the snotty toilet paper you threw on the floor right in front of the trash can, and picked up your socks, and then you farted in the shower while we were washing your back and trying to get a little sumpin sumpin it all adds up and we feel like our world is crumbling and that we are working for nothing. So please excuse us if we get a little emotional.

It’s been mentioned that men don’t care how their women look but if we come to bed smelling like sweat and floor cleaner with a top that’s too short showing our baby pouches and stretch marks you won’t be impressed and at the same time it’s mentioned that we should try some sexy underwear. Do you guys want that with or without the baby puke on our T-shirts? Appreciate it when we try to look nice for you. We don’t want to put on make up and have you play video games.

All these experiences women have are common. I beg you to take a moment to reflect

One of the differences in our house is our approach to cleaning. When I clean, I clean the entire house, not just work in one area.

For instance, I might start in the kitchen but, somehow there is a bill on the counter. I take the bill to our filing cabinet and file it but I find a library book on the book shelf and walk over to place it by our cabinets by the front door. There I find my jacket so I go and place it in the hall closet etc. etc.

Pretty soon, although I've been cleaning diligently I hear my wife raising her voice. "What are you doing?" I reply "Cleaning" Her retort, "The kitchen is still a mess!"

So I go back to the kitchen where I find another bill that needs to be filed etc....

So, now, I do my housework on the days that I have off and she is working. She appreciates my efforts but can't stand to watch me work.

Originally posted by DaMod
reply to post by Hazelnut

 

Yup, I can't speak for every man but a mister nice guy is always a sure fire winner. It's too bad that these are often the last choice. I've seen a lot of good guys get screwed over this way.

Not all but a fair percent of women want the bad boy for some reason.

I don't know if it is a majority, but it is quite a few.

The phrase nice guys finish last became a phrase for a reason.

reply to post by schrodingers dog


thank you

I don't know what else to say

:-)

I've just commandeered this video - I need it

reply to post by ziggystar60

...At least you should never ever say something like that to a Scandinavian woman if you don't have a death wish or something...

I have seen something like this said - up close and personal - to an actual Scandinavian woman

it wasn't pretty

:-)

however, it's not just you women of the far north that get riled...

[edit on 8/28/2009 by Spiramirabilis]

Yes, it's me- here to make the 'women' cringe and curse me to my grave yet again.

I have noticed one really interesting detail... This only seems to apply to American/ Americanized women... How come women from other cultures aren't so tightly wound their springs squeak? Why is it women from other cultures are completely OK with doing the 'duties of the house'? How is it women from other cultures CAN do a lot of things at once- and from the pics I have seen, the 'less civilized' ones can do it wearing a whole lot less in the fancy accessories/ makeup dept? How come we never see any 'how to understand the opposite sex' books/ manuals/ threads/ from anything but 'civilized' Western countries? (I am not including Muslim/ hard line Islamic countries in this- they're on a planet all their own. Yike.) And before you light those torches, you'd better have a shot at blaming our stupid fast food and dumbed down entertainment culture first, and yourselves second for following it to the bloody, gruesome end.

I am all for seeing a potential mate reach for any heights she can reach- but it's obvious American women only wanna see what heights their fat complaining rears can reach. If you're not one, then you don't need to include yourself in the rant. I'm happy to exclude the ones who are actually acting like they should, and not like Hollywood's idea of a woman. The rest of you ought to be ashamed of yourselves.....

reply to post by wylekat


Lol, well I'm American so of course I apply this to American women. (even though Latin women are basically atomic bombs in a pretty package) I don't think Americans should be stereotyped as fat asses. I'm in really good shape actually, and I rarely eat fast food.(which doesn't only apply to the US, you have McDonald's too...) I get home cooked meals every night. Nothing like a pot roast, asparagus, and mashed potatoes to make your day better eh? Your right about American women (except for the fat part.. guess you've never met an all American hottie before. There are plenty.)