A Little Help For Women Trying To Understand Men!

alot of what's written here is based on info from "men are from Mars , woman are from Venus" and the sequel, "why woman cant read maps and men don't listen".

I suggest any person (male or female) who truly wants to understand the opposite sex and has enjoyed this thread, read these books.

On some levels men and woman are almost different species completely. the books have a humorous tone to them and are very informative.

One funny quote is "when a man reads the newspaper and is heavily involved with what he is reading" brain scans show that he is practically deaf".

[edit on 27-8-2009 by mouldy crumpet]

[edit on 27-8-2009 by mouldy crumpet]

Originally posted by ziggystar60
"Little head..?" I know you probably said it in good humour, but here is a secret for you: Women don't like being talked down to either!

At least you should never ever say something like that to a Scandinavian woman if you don't have a death wish or something.

A few years ago a male politician in my country (Norway) said something similar to a very beautiful and intelligent Swedish female writer in a debate. He spent the next couple of weeks doing this and ONLY this in the media:

Just like everywhere, females are different. Some like to be spoken down to for some reason, most dont. But I wouldn't say Scandinavian women are any more hotheaded then american. Italian women on the other hand..
Who was that norwegian politician by the way? Can't get myself to remember that incident.

For any of you men who have not figured out how to get some alone time I suggest setting up shop in the bathroom. You will discover a generous number of hours alone especially if you leave the door open. Not even her cat will come near you.



[edit on 27-8-2009 by solarstorm]

reply to post by DaMod


Wow men are complicated. I always thought men to be so simple, but the list is pretty long. So I have to rethink my perception. But I like the fact that we are trying to understand each other. Men and women need respect each other.

Even if it is from a book, most people wouldn't read them anyways. But nice job, especially #2, seriously that's a huge peeve amongst us manly types.

You got any tips for men to understand women? Because I'm totally lost.

reply to post by Chovy


yep, this is a reply to: www.abovetopsecret.com... from a few days ago

Nice thread mate, but I'm gonna have to disagree (respectfully) with these two:

7. Most of us leave socks on the floor, deal with it. (If she hates it - you're the one who's got to change. Not that big a deal.)

8. For some reason we feel the need to release methane into the air on a fairly regular basis. I'm sorry, you have no choice, get used to it. (That's just... not cool.)

There was one more that kind of made me flinch, but I thought these two will be enough... I'm sure some will want to argue.

Being a gentleman isn't bad...

Only my humble opinion.

XIIIth.

reply to post by Republican08


Hey, great post. Also, gals, just because you man might end up in a strip joint and come home horny. Hey, don't waste the opportunity! Yeah, so, he was excited about some lesbian shaking her booty, and he came home. HE CAME HOME! And, maybe, if you went to a manshaking booty bar, you just might get a bit turned on too, and then come home and, well, just maybe, you and your husband might have the greatest sex ever since, well, last weekend, when you man thought it was the greatest sex since, well, the previous weekend.

One of my daughters found out that her husband went out and once, ONCE, experienced a booty bar. She was so angry! She equated it to him cheating on her. WTF? He was just watching something. Women, next time you watch Antonio Banderas in a movie, or the guy with the wonderful thighs and six pack in the movie, The 300, and YOU get a bit turned on, just remember, do you consider that cheating? If you do, then that is a problem. That's another problem you need to get over. But if you don't consider that cheating, then,well, what's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Whatever, if watching something spices up your monogamous sexlife, how is that bad? Unless you just don't want to have sex. Then that's a whole other problem that needs to be addressed, at least for one of your couple.

Heh.

Another thing. Don't pretend you gals don't fanticize. Heh. We know better. There's plenty of gals out there that tell us otherwise.

Meanwhile, my Honey, go on out there to the Dancing Bear Revue, come on home and wake me up. I won't complain.

reply to post by XIIIth


Oh, yeah, women don't leave their stuff lying around. And, oh, yeah, gals, just because you farts don't make a noise, doesn't mean they don't stink.

Men go brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt and women go pfft. Smells the same.

Originally posted by MrDesolate
25. You like shopping, we like sports. Feel free to go shopping while we watch sports. No, we can't pretend shopping is a sport.

Gotta disagree there. Shopping CAN be a sport, especially if shopping carts are involved. I say, if you've got to do grocery shopping, why not make it more along the lines of a time-trials rally? Women hate that for some reason, they can never seem to powerslide the cart properly around the end-of-lane hairpins, and that costs them precious seconds....

I read a few years ago about a study. It dealt with women complaining that their men ignored them, well, just didn't hear them at times. The study remarked that women's voices are generally like music, you know, the stuff you hear all day in elevators, on the radio. Don't really pay attention to it. You hear it, but it's just there. The result of this study, analysis, was that women's voices affect men's brains differently than, say a bold man's voice. My wife, my sisters, my female cousins just laughed at this and remarked that it was just another excuse for men to just ignore women and think of them as lower beings, not worthy of listening to. But, hey, a solution pointed out from this study was that women could make physical contact with the man in question and he would "acknowledge" their words. Just a tap on the shoulder. A hand placed on the man's hand, that would get his attention. Why do many women want to disregard this? Do they think they are so important that if they speak a man must immediately acknowledge it? We, men and women are different. If it takes a man some effort to work with women, then doesn't it stand to reason that women should make some effort to work with men? Actually, it shouldn't be "work". There lies the problem with both genders.

When did this site become a place for gender wars and relationship advice?

reply to post by TeddiRevolution


It does seem kind of out of place here, I agree.

Unless this site has an ATS version of Match dot com, LOL.

SEX, ladies. SEX. SEX. SEX.

That is all you ladies need to know!

Well, ok, we're a little more complicated than that...

But as to the OP's OP, well then...I have to agree with #5

It has become so acceptable in our (American, for me) culture for women to completely talk down to men, even humiliate them. This I have seen, and experienced this, in personal relationships--not professional ones.

Women can say/do things to men that men would be socially and legally punished for these days, if the situation was reversed.

reply to post by DaMod


Only a few things I find that will help in regards to relationships...

Dudes...

First and foremost...

Dont get into a relationship without experience...period. Seen to many friends get their sexual organs handed to them by some chick who thought she was hot stuff...(but really wasnt)

Girls like men with experience...They want someone who can take care of themselves and then her as well... That means financially, mentally and physically. If you dont think you can do these things then know your heading down a track that ends at the edge of a cliff...

If you think you dont have those three abilities (or the confidence to display those qualitites) then dont worry about a relationship. Even if you land that pretty looking face and nice body. Things wont workout until you are menatlly and financially mature. Give yourself a reality check before you consider a real relationship...And know that is what you want. You make that decision to get involved...You had better know that is exactly what you want. Then be prepared for all the stuff that comes with it...

If you arent prepared, you will screw everyone around you by messing it up...cheating, non chalant half ass attitude, and all the things that makes things end in disaster...

A relationship is real work...not all fairy tales and happy endings...It takes a lot of work...

I would say if you are under 28...dont even attempt a real relationship...flings, girls that understand you just want to be friends...all good...but when you decide to settle you had better be prepared.

That is the best advice I could give...Got married at 19...went through a seperation at 21...and all the insanity that went with it...then had two kids with her......but have no fear...I wouldnt trade them for the world...My first was what kept me in the game...Parents know what Im talking about...

The only quality I had to support that relationship was the physical... Mentally I wasnt there in the slightest. Financially I was a mess because I wasnt there mentally... Due to that fact, I was completely ill-prepared, it made it impossible for that relationship to thrive or to even make it work.

Hope that helps who it needs to help...

reply to post by Threadfall

SEX, ladies. SEX. SEX. SEX

you think that now...

Having all the sex in the world wont make a night out any more fun, or a having a real intelligent conversation with here when she is as dumb as a sack of hammers, or make her a good care taker or a good partner..

sex is just that... sex...

if that is all your worried about dont worry about a relationship...just have fun...

theres nothing wrong with it either, but do yourself the favor and be honest and lay the cards on the table so theres no misunderstanding..it could get real nasty when she finds out you are just leading her on...and she will find out...

Hey, most of that sounds agreeable to me.

A few comments, however.

Regarding #8: Understood. However, please don't do it in confined spaces like the bed covers and the car. Also, not while we are eating.

Regarding #21. I won't talk about an ex if you don't keep asking "Was I the best you ever had?"

I would like to believe myself to be unique, but reading the OP's list was like reading my own wish list throughout my seven years of marriage (of which I am two years removed). Much of my time is still spent in regret, and reflection of what could have been, and what has been lost, not dismissing nor diminishing the beautiful gift that is my son. I love him more than I care to breathe the air, and never in my time upon this earth would I seek a different path than to be in his presence and witness the splendor of his life, even at such expense to suffer again the humility and despair that is the destruction of a family, and divorce of a marriage. I see each individual conveniently itemized issue clearly and well met as a friend, having spent many a night in the doghouse for the same such offenses.
It makes me realize that it was not the nature of these offenses, rather the dynamic of my own marital situation, and the underlying nature of the struggle there present, having proved cause for tension relative to very minor issues, as I perceived them affecting my ability to live a "normal" life in my household, absent the threat of the"rage of aeons" unleashed upon my very soul as I struggled to provide in a manner consistent with my understanding of a "proper upbringing", in a world gone mad, and no palace of sanity known to me, not even in mine own domain. So faulty are we to believe we are any different from one another being that upon our feet are shod the same tread. In one fashion or the other, we may substitute the descriptions of our common complaints regarding the opposite gender for the idea of power, and the subsequent issues there arising from a conflict due to the exercise of stubborn steadfastness to perceptions of our roles as dictated by our understanding of gender, and our ingrained acceptance of abandonment of reason and fairness in the quest for "being right" in light of our beloved counterparts obvious misunderstandings of our inherent proclivities as men or women.

A good concept (got it from a book) is the "women are like Spaghetti and man are like waffles" analogy.

Men are like waffles. Their minds,interests,emotions and feelings all have a little room with walls around them. Work is separate from home , play, sex, food, wife, kids, guns, so on and so forth. They are all dealt with on their own.

Guys even have a few empty rooms just in case something new comes up. Sometimes we hang out in these rooms. Usually it is right before we fall asleep at night and you ask us "What are you thinking?"
Then we say nothing and you get mad because you think we are lying.

It's true ladies. We are actually capable of thinking about nothing when we chose to do so. It's a zen type thing. It just happens.

Women are not at all like waffles. They are like spaghetti. All of the stuff that they think about, feel, need ,want, care about, hate and worry about is piled together like a plate of spaghetti. It all touches everything else.

That's why a man can turn on sports center and the next thing he knows his stuff is on the front lawn on fire and the cops are pulling up in the drive.

Waffles and spaghetti.





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