A Little Help For Women Trying To Understand Men!

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posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 02:22 PM
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reply to post by Rockpuck
 


I couldn't agree more! I go to work, bust my ass to provide everything. I mean everything and it's never good enough. EVER! All I want to do after a long hard day of work is sit on the couch and have some brew or a scotch on the rocks or maybe a couple hours of counterstrike to wind down. Is that too much to ask?

The media portrays all men as lazy, cheating, childish bastards.




posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 02:24 PM
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reply to post by DaMod
 


I just read through the whole thing - see - love to hear this stuff

from your list - liked these most:


2. Men take things literally.

this one makes me laugh - I still don’t want to believe it’s true - but I’m starting to believe...

there are many men who are quite capable of using and understanding nuance - but I have come to see that sometimes what I say better be what I’m saying - or it’s my own fault for being misunderstood

I’ll say this much - it is a simpler and time saving form of communication :-)

3. Men need more alone time than women or we go clinically insane.

that’s #2 on Greenize list -

I think we all need time alone - and away from each other

5. We don't like being talked down to...

it’s already been said - but nobody does - and we both do it - both women and men

10. Men get drawn into things. If you talk to your man while he is focused on something and he doesn't respond stay calm, it's just how we are. Why not try walking up to him and putting your hand on his shoulder to get his attention. It will work.

:-) I like that - that’s a useful tip

but I’m curious - is this really a man thing? Do other men see this as a real guy thing? I can become completely focused on things too - so, I wonder

11. Men sometimes don't understand why you are mad at them.

here’s the thing - we sometimes (sometimes) don’t know why we’re mad at you

and sometimes - we’re not even mad at you - we’re just mad

I know that doesn’t help at all

15. Men don't think every little thing is the end of the world, neither should you.

it’s actually one of my favorite things about men - in the whole wide world

I’m not kidding - it’s comforting to be around someone who can’t feel the impending doom

Remember I am not claiming to be an expert.
I think it’s a decent list -

I think it’s funny that there are 22 items on yours - and only 6 on the sister list
:-)



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 02:34 PM
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reply to post by Spiramirabilis
 



10. Men get drawn into things. If you talk to your man while he is focused on something and he doesn't respond stay calm, it's just how we are. Why not try walking up to him and putting your hand on his shoulder to get his attention. It will work.

:-) I like that - that’s a useful tip

but I’m curious - is this really a man thing? Do other men see this as a real guy thing? I can become completely focused on things too - so, I wonder


Well I know when I am drawn in on something I can be almost completely deaf until my attention is swayed. Physical contact seems to work the best, at least on me.



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 02:34 PM
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Great OP and very entertaining,LOL!

I would agree with many of the initial comments...as someone who's probably enjoyed MORE than "her share" of men,both fabulous and not so I would say that the only real "secret" to having a "great one" on hand is to simply let him be...do NOT try and change the handsome beast!

Rather just consider bending over to pick up socks a "foreward fold" as in yoga and remember how good it is for you.
Cook for him: doesn't have to be anything special. Do NOT nag...not about anything,anytime. Let him play with those toys and his friends and you will be rewarded: claim say a couple of hours a week as "yours" and them let him go the rest of the time.

Look your best even when you're just hanging out,do you wonder WHY he checks out other women if you truly believe he should "love you for what's inside?" He probably DOES but most men enjoy and appreciate a bit of effort outside as well.Trust me on this,all men appreciate a woman who takes care of herself.
Don't set him up with "Do I look fat?" or "How do I look?" Do your best and hope he notices...he might not but that's okay too.They "see" women MUCH differently than we see ourselves....at all times...LOL!

IF and I say IF looks, money, power, or talent are high on your list of female "must have's" don't compromise and THEN blame or hate on him because he's not "Mr. Right": I have snagged more than one millionaire but I have always known what I wanted.Do NOT blame the poor man if he isn't living up to your expectations,it's not good for either of you.Move on and let him do the same.

I think men are amazing an honestly,the worst "thing" about most woman is simply other women they hang with that don't "get it." They feed off each other's nagging and create an unrealistic "how it should be" scenario most of the time.

If you choose to pay with the boys,do NOT wimp; do what they do have a great sense of humor,take your knocks if need be,and don't pout when it isn't "about you." Men play by a very different set of rules so respect them even if they make no sense.

Men are fun and un-complicated...I am not saying "insensitive",they are just different...viva la difference!

EDIT: Oh...and about those "gifts?" I consider it to be cruel and inhuman punishment to EXPECT a guy to wander around like a zombie prior to a date on the calendar tryng to find what MIGHT please you.If he asks you "what you'd like",tell him and then also add that it would be GREAT anytime but that he doesn't need to TOTALLY stress out and fight the crowds on Christmas Eve (yes,he might procrasntinate a bit
but that you'd be happy to have it anytime it works for him...I usually end up with MUCH nicer gifts because of this attitude.






[edit on 28-8-2009 by irishchic]

[edit on 28-8-2009 by irishchic]



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 02:38 PM
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reply to post by Fu Hao
 


One question before I reply to your very long posts.

What does your man do for a living?



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 02:43 PM
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reply to post by irishchic
 


Wow, that was hot
. If only I was single
. We could use more women like you in the world. A lot more!

See ladies, this woman is going to make her man very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very Happy. I bet when she asks for something to be done, she gets it without having to ask twice!

I bet the lawn is mowed for her when she needs it!

Oh you live in texas... I bet the dust is raked.... lol jk

[edit on 28-8-2009 by DaMod]



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 02:50 PM
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I think any dude posting here should probably clear this first:

worldwidenetweb.blogspot.com...

/naukl3



[edit on 28 Aug 2009 by schrodingers dog]



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 02:51 PM
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I am given attention when I'd like it, your're right, LOL!

It's just not that "tough" to me...I have lots of seriously gorgeous,talented,female-friends who make damn good money and are really nice people who feel exactly the same way.
Who wants to go to lunch with the "girls" and hear nothing but bitching about men???

Maybe a bit more "praise" and less bashing would be a good start for many women?

A bit part of it is accepting, moving on, and enjoying what men ARE and not what they are NOT!



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 02:56 PM
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Originally posted by Spiramirabilis
[11. Men sometimes don't understand why you are mad at them.

here’s the thing - we sometimes (sometimes) don’t know why we’re mad at you

and sometimes - we’re not even mad at you - we’re just mad

I know that doesn’t help at all


I've learned that this is true and that sometimes you aren't mad at us you are just mad.

But here is something that will really help the relationship for those times when you aren't mad at us - but are just mad.

If you're not mad at us - don't take it out on us.




[edit on 28-8-2009 by Frogs]



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 02:59 PM
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reply to post by Frogs
 





If you're not mad at us - don't take it out on us.


ditto

:-)



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 03:04 PM
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reply to post by irishchic
 


Hey lady... just wanted to inform you I may have a new found infatuation with you... Your daughter wouldn't happen to share your ideology, eh?



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 03:05 PM
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I hate to bring this up but ...

The whole business of conjugal activity is sordid and frightful, but it is at least ... short.





posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 03:06 PM
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reply to post by schrodingers dog
 


I think we are all guilty of douchebaggery every now and again. I think it's going a little far when you approach the realm of douche silo or douche quarry or some other form of douche container.

If you are a container of douches or a shipper of douches you need to rethink your life.



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 03:14 PM
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reply to post by DaMod
 


Wisest words ever spoken on ATS.


We should probably add them to the list.



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 03:17 PM
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Originally posted by Spiramirabilis
reply to post by Frogs
 





If you're not mad at us - don't take it out on us.


ditto

:-)


Indeed...




posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 03:27 PM
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Originally posted by Rockpuck
Absolutely BRILLIANT .. I e-mailed a copy to the Woman, maybe something will click in her head and she will "get it" haha..

The "Toys" aspect is absolutely true.. my computer burned out and for me it was the end of the World as all I have now is my phone and a dinosaur of a laptop.. she just doesn't understand..

# 5, 22, 7 (also loosing socks haha), 18 are my favs...

And of course if it wasn't mentioned..

Us men like to think ourselves as manly men who control every aspect of our world. We are masculine and invincible.. until we get sick. Then we have to be treated like big babies .. it's quite pathetic sometimes.


Its a really sad day for all of us when a good man looses his favorite toy. She doesn't understand just how much it really means to you. She doesn't know how much you cherished it. My woman knows full well that if my XBox, my computer, my car, or my tarantula (pet spider) bit the dust it would be hell on earth for a little while. I am lucky in that my lady knows how much my toys (and pet) really mean to me and she takes good care of them when she uses them.



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 03:38 PM
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Originally posted by Rockpuck
reply to post by operation mindcrime
 


Anytime we park on the street we have to do a Chinese Fire Drill in the middle of the road so I can parallel park for her. Otherwise the car ends up half way in the road 5ft from the curb .. possibly facing the wrong direction, you never know.. (and if you're wondering why I don't just drive to begin with, I CANNOT stand back seat drivers! .. So I absolutely refuse to drive her car with her inside at ANY time.. I told her one day to shut up or drive, well she didn't stop so now she drives. Been protesting this way for about 8 months.
In my car I can drive, if she tries to backseat navigate I turn the radio up and say it's MY car. And if we get lost, which we sometimes do, I blame mapquest.


It's not that guys hate asking for directions.. we just hate a constant nagging voice in our right ear the entire time we are trying to drive and figure out where we are!

To clarify as my girl may be an exceptional case. She has this anxiety issue.. lets say we are driving down the highway on I-5 .. busy highway, and I will be driving along and she will suddenly scream and say something like "WATCH OUT!" ..... a truck just merged from the onramp to the lane to my left. I was in my lane, he was in his lane, there was absolutely no potential collision. Doesn't matter, she still screams. Or if cars break in front of me she does a dramatic grabbing of the "oh ** bar" and one hand on the dash, and I get a lecture on proper breaking distance.

[edit on 8/28/2009 by Rockpuck]

~~~

Since this is my first post in the thread I'll start by giving kudos (S&F) to the OP. Really cute. We love a sense of humor!


~~~

I'm so in league with your girlfriend. 9 out of 10 times my gasps and exclamations are annoying and useless but it's that 10th time when he's pulling over on top of someone, or someone is pulling over on top of him (this past week) that makes me feel that all of my coaching is justified. He's a much better driver than I am from the purely mechanical aspect of it all, but he isn't nearly as focused as I am when I drive. He daydreams and glances off at the scenery too often for my comfort. On regularly traveled roads I anticipate how the traffic behaves depending on the local and adjust accordingly, either changing lanes or slowing down. He waits until he's on top of it or in the thick of it and then tries to find a way out. It points to different styles. Since his ability to maneuver the vehicle is better than mine, he just doesn't see the need for all of the anticipation.



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 03:40 PM
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Irishchic, absolutely wonderful post.

For a second, I though you were my wife posting.


Give this a listen :




posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 04:02 PM
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reply to post by irishchic
 





Cook for him: doesn't have to be anything special.


I remember on more than one occasion how I have ALWAYS said any woman who ends up with me needs to be able to cook. Then, I would explain why: I simply CAN NOT. I get food poisoning at least once every 3 months, more if I am not super careful. And no, this isn't an exaggeration. Most womens' responses? "Typical male- EXPECT the woman to cook!" Ummm, wha? I just explained why you'll need to, unless you like being over the toilet blowing chunks....

Ah yes... 'toys'. I would gladly give up what few 'toys' I do have for a good, loving woman who was sane. Unlike a lot of you, they don't consist of a car, or a boat, or what have you. Video games? I rarely play them, except when boredom is at an all time high. Only thing I cant give up is the computer. I am actually learning 3d art with the thing- and well, it = $$. I spent hours learning the program, and I have much more to learn. I'd LOVE to have a woman to collaborate, or even show a glimmer of interest in the software. Or even art in general. Sadly, in this state (NC), If it doesn't have NASCAR, wrasslin' or any of those crazy shows (Dancing with the Stars, et al) somehow incorporated in it, there's very little interest.

I also notice an amazing amount of running for lives, and general panic the minute I say the dreaded word 'disability'. Yes, my back is shot. No, I am not in a wheelchair, yes, I am on disability for it. You'd think I said I wanted to rape their children the way they run screaming in horror and disgust.

I can say that living alone has given me MUCH time to look into the how and why of women.... and it's pretty ugly picture. I have spent not a little time crawling various personal ads- not to answer, but to see what women put on them. Here's a prime example of what I see regularly (note- age varies greatly):



I am a 51 white female, divorced after 30 yrs, 5'7" plus size, attractive, hazel eyes, brunette, large breasts. 1 man, 1 lover, but very good. What I am looking for is a man who would like to get me back into things, pay for my hair, nails, buy me clothes, whatever I need. I work and have a staple home just need help with the extras. Open for relationship, or whatever you desire. You wont be disappointed.


Between this, and nearly endless ads for a 'sugardaddy'- And ads that only point out the landmarks and cash assets of a guy they want, Is it any wonder why (some, the actual ones who seek love) guys a) give up, b) in some (uncommon) cases, commit suicide c) go gay d) in some (somewhat more uncommon) cases, slowly devolve into sex offenders e) just go completely crazy.... I am sure this list can be added to. This isn't limited to the internet at all. Going face to face dating is exactly the same, only a lot more like stepping into an alligator pit naked and smeared in bacon grease. But hey- at least the alligators wont sneer and snicker just before they rip your limbs off and eat you alive.



posted on Aug, 28 2009 @ 06:50 PM
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I just hate it when women talk about their past boyfriends or crushes.

It's like, if you like them then what the # are you circling around me for? Lemme go so I can get another girl.





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