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A Little Help For Women Trying To Understand Men!

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posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 03:28 PM
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This post was inspired by a "sister" post from greeneyes.

I've seen it many times women trying to get through to men and failing miserably. Why do you think that is? On with the post!

1. Men are not emotional creatures. Sure we have emotions but we aren't influenced by them nearly as much. Some are more emotional than others but most of the time we react in a less emotional manner. This creates conflict because of the apparent lack of caring. It's not that we don't care, its that we don't get what all the fuss is about. Calmly explaining yourself is always a better solution.

2. Men take things literally. If you say don't buy me a present, to us that doesn't mean buy you a present. If you say you don't care (even if you do) it means you don't care to us. Say what you mean for the love of god.

3. Men need more alone time than women or we go clinically insane. For some it's a trip to the garage to work on the truck / car. For others it's a good video game or sports match. Don't think this means we don't like being around you. Many times some of us need a few hours by ourselves. Don't worry your pretty little head you will see him again!

4. Men communicate differently than women. We are more straight forward with the way they say things. We may say something we mean one way and women throw it all out of proportion. (this has happened to many a guy)

For example: You ask how you look and we respond with, "just fine". A woman then replies with, "only fine?(in a annoyed manner)". Then we say, "no you look good". Then you say, "but you just said I only look fine which is it." This could go on for a long time...

In this situation "Fine" was a suitable answer. To a woman it is an insult. See the clash? Hopefully one day women will figure out that your men think you are beautiful no matter what you're wearing.

This is one example. This thread would be far too long if I where to name the others so I hope you understand the point on a larger scale.

5. We don't like being talked down to, which is actually the biggest reason we cheat. Disrespect of males is pretty common. Some women think they can treat their man however they want with no consequences. Some women don't even realize they are doing it. If you talk down to your man constantly (and yell at him on a consistent basis), there is a good chance he thinks about leaving you or screwing around on you more than 4 times a day. Be nice to him and have respect for him, he will love you forever. Remember he is a person too, with his own mind, his own thoughts, his own wants.

6. Men don't like when women make everything about them all the time. They like to be included in things and feel emasculated otherwise. (for another definition of emasculation please see #5) If he comes home and starts talking about how *snip* his day was, don't chime in and one up him. We hate that. This is one time a man will think you don't give a (snip).

7. Most of us leave socks on the floor, deal with it.

8. For some reason we feel the need to release methane into the air on a fairly regular basis. I'm sorry, you have no choice, get used to it.

9. Men must have time to do manly things. For some it's hunting or fishing while for others it could be a jam session or bowling league.

10. Men get drawn into things. If you talk to your man while he is focused on something and he doesn't respond stay calm, it's just how we are. Why not try walking up to him and putting your hand on his shoulder to get his attention. It will work.

11. Men sometimes don't understand why you are mad at them. This is normal, when they ask you whats wrong tell them wtf is wrong. Quit avoiding the subject! It will get you no where and will have no impact on us.... at all... not in the slightest...... You're just going to piss us off and then escalate the fight to a level it never should have gotten to in the first place.

12. Men are not your slaves. If you think or act different we will not like it very much.

Here is a good way of going about this. We all know what a honey do list is. If you are going to tell him to get something, when he gets back don't tell him to get another thing. Don't wait 20 mins and then get him up again. Get it yourself or ask him to grab everything the first time! If you want your body spray and a tissue don't make them 2 separate tasks, combine them. We will be happy that we don't have to get up every 3 seconds to get you something. (doesn't apply to pregnant women, but combining tasks is still good advice)

13. Men tend to like different certain subjects than women. For some men like science, women don't. For some the difference is books, or movies, politics, religion. When your man starts talking about a subject you don't like, listen to him anyway. We listen to you when you talk about the color curtains you want to put up so please listen to us if we want to talk about the fleecing of America. It will all be over soon and he will feel a sense of fulfillment.

14. Some men like video games. Some games are online and cannot be paused. If you want him to do something at least let him get to a good stopping point. Sometimes this may take 20 mins or so to achieve. He will find that stopping point and get you whatever you need. (most of the time, again all men are different) Please remember number 10 here.

15. Men don't think every little thing is the end of the world, neither should you.

16. The man is in charge of the remote and don't forget it. He will let you watch something if you want to, but the remote doesn't leave his hand.


17. Some men like to wrestle around with you. They really don't mean to hurt you, they probably didn't realize they where pushing or pulling too hard. Let them know but please don't get mad for it. You where having fun before it happened.


18. The best way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but some sexy underwear couldn't hurt.

What I mean by that is when you go out of your way to look super sexy for him he feels really appreciated... (he also feels something else
)

19. Remember when I talked about space, yeah well don't forget to let him out of the house every now and again. If he wants to go to the bar, let him. Sure hire spys, do whatever you got to do but give him a night out.

20. Many men cheat, many are one woman men. The ratio in the population depends on where you are of course, but the good guys that are faithful do exist. You've probably already met a few.

Remember that guy that had the biggest crush on you throughout the duration of your lives but you put him in the friend zone? You know the guy that put you on a pedestal and is so madly in love with you that he would do anything for you but you again put him in the friend zone? Yeah big mistake! Those aren't the only ones like that though, some of us wouldn't cheat ever.

21. Your current man is not your ex boyfriend don't compare them. Men will get extremely angry because some other guy ruined you for men everywhere. Don't be ruined, everyone is different.

22. My personal favorite. Boys need their toys. We love our toys. We cherish our toys and sometimes want to get more toys. Remember this is a must for all men. For some men it's a truck or a car or a boat or a 4 wheeler or all of the above. For others its a bad ass gaming computer and all the peripherals. For others it might be their shop with all their power tools or the guy with a particle accelerator in his basement
. Some have small toys and some have big toys but only one constant remains, we need our toys.

Remember I am not claiming to be an expert. These are simply things I've picked up through the world of dating. I've dated many women some worked out some didn't. Some cheated on me, some didn't. In all of that I've managed to date cheerleaders, stoners, loners, popular girls, unpopular girls, free spirits, conformists, preppies, rockers, punks, feminists, and bisexuals, bipolars, manic depressives, control freaks, hippies, beotches and beauties, big girls and little girls, mental issues and no mental issues. I made a few observations along the way.

[edit on 27-8-2009 by DaMod]




posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 03:42 PM
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[edit on 27-8-2009 by Republican08]



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 03:45 PM
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THIS IS ABSOLUTLEY BRILLIANT! Im Making a copy right now. Im not sure if this even belongs here on ATS (it probably dosent) but MODs please leave it. LOL. I know a certain little lady that needs to read this.


MessOnTheFED!

Edit: Stared and Flagged!!!


[edit on 27-8-2009 by MessOnTheFED!]



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 03:47 PM
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S&F for you. Maybe some guys life will be better because of what you wrote. I can't agree more (especially with #18). I might add that guys LOVE IT when a girl comes on to them - it shouldn't always be the man's place to do that! if a girl wants a guys attention maybe she shoud wear heels, hose and nothing else - if that doens't get his interest he's probably dead.

[edit on 27-8-2009 by Asktheanimals]



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 03:49 PM
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I laughed so hard, its like a parody of greeneyes. you guys would make a good couple


Google (E=MC Vagina) that about sums up the some of the men i see these days.



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 03:50 PM
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23. Its not that we don't love your mother, but really...do we have to like her?



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 03:53 PM
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Mr. Nice Guy



Remember that guy that had the biggest crush on you throughout the duration of your lives but you put him in the friend zone? You know the guy that put you on a pedestal and is so madly in love with you that he would do anything for you but you again put him in the friend zone? Yeah big mistake! Those aren't the only ones like that though, some of us wouldn't cheat ever.


I put him in the friend zone because I was sick to death of men ruining my life. Chasing me until they caught me only to lose interest once the "chase" was over. But this one didn't go away, didn't pressure, didn't do any of the annoying chasing, he was just persistently there for me, wanting to be my friend.

After I learned I could trust him, we fell in love and got married. He's not chasing me anymore, but I couldn't live without him now. He is my Mr. Nice Guy.



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 03:58 PM
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reply to post by Hazelnut
 


Yup, I can't speak for every man but a mister nice guy is always a sure fire winner. It's too bad that these are often the last choice. I've seen a lot of good guys get screwed over this way.



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 03:59 PM
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reply to post by DaMod
 


Good post, star and flag from me. But I couldn't help notice that you say men don't like to be talked down to. Yet you say to the women reading this thread:



Don't worry your pretty little head


"Little head..?" I know you probably said it in good humour, but here is a secret for you: Women don't like being talked down to either!

At least you should never ever say something like that to a Scandinavian woman if you don't have a death wish or something.
A few years ago a male politician in my country (Norway) said something similar to a very beautiful and intelligent Swedish female writer in a debate. He spent the next couple of weeks doing this and ONLY this in the media:






posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 04:01 PM
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Well said! S & F!

I am not even going to quote anything. Great Thread!



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 04:02 PM
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reply to post by ziggystar60
 




Something to think about.



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 04:03 PM
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reply to post by ziggystar60
 


Very funny stuff, and a perfect example of number 4.


4. Men communicate differently than women. We are more straight forward with the way they say things. We may say something we mean one way and women throw it all out of proportion. (this has happened to many a guy)


It wasn't a full fledged example, because you didn't get furious over it, but an example none the less.

Great clip btw.



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 04:03 PM
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reply to post by DaMod
 


That's funny in a sick way, not a ha ha way. I never met a nice guy who could keep up with me physically, mentally or emotionally until I met him. I believe the mistake most people make is going too fast in their relationships and expecting the fireworks to last. Fireworks are great by the way, but day after day of ho-hum same old same old has its hitherto unkown secret benefits too.



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 04:09 PM
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24. You're allowed to ask us to do something, but don't tell us how to do it.

25. You like shopping, we like sports. Feel free to go shopping while we watch sports. No, we can't pretend shopping is a sport.

26. Please don't ask a question you really don't want an answer to. Conversely, if we've asked you a question, we really want an honest answer. Whatever answer you give will be assumed to reflect your true feelings. If you can't do that, don't blame us for not reading more into it or miraculously divining the true inner feelings you have.



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 04:09 PM
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reply to post by Hazelnut
 


You're talking about comfortable silence? Yeah it's nice if it only lasts for a temporary period of time.

After the fireworks are gone there can still be sparks there. I've been with my wife now for several years (not very many compared to some) and we have always managed to keep it interesting.

All the women in this thread should take notice that I described men verbatim. This is who they are. No sense arguing with the unchangeable. Its like trying to tell a tomato to turn into a peach.



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 04:11 PM
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reply to post by DaMod
 

This is absolutely fabulous. I think women need to clearly hear this from another man because it never seems to work coming from your own.
I think my marriage is reversed however in some ways.

He likes to talk about the weather and mundane things while the world is ending and I'm busy making preparations so that we may endure it.
I like my bows and arrows, crossbows, cars, stereo's etc and he is a super peaceful Buddhist type living in the land of denial and ignorance.
I have to laugh here because I may just really cry.



I loved your post and want to thank you! Every little bit of understanding helps.

[edit on 27-8-2009 by Egyptia]



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 04:11 PM
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27. If we say something that can be taken one of two ways and one of the ways upsets you, we meant the other one.



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 04:12 PM
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reply to post by DaMod
 


No, no, I didn't get furious at all, don't get me wrong. I just wanted to give you some very valuable advice in case you ever want to approach a Scandinavian woman.


Besides, I was very happy that your post gave me an excuse to post that clip from "A fish called Wanda"!

@SDog: I had no idea you had such a strong death wish.



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 04:15 PM
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very true stuff man,stard.
also we are emotional about some stuff,but for other stuff we arent,so we are complex too



posted on Aug, 27 2009 @ 04:15 PM
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reply to post by MrDesolate
 


Yeah that's what my husband tells me too. But I thought you "guys" were the ones who say what you mean and mean what you say? IF perhaps, you would try to phrase your thoughts in a way that could not possibly be taken any other way than the one you meant, it would be helpful.









 
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