You have every right in the world to whoop ya kid's..PLZ start I am sick of all the punk's

reply to post by Amaterasu


Kids must be told why. Not that they should abuse that dynamic, asking why throughout infinity, but parents must explain the underlying reasons and motivations for behavior.

Originally posted by Amaterasu

Originally posted by Jomina
In the times I have ever done anything physically related to my kiddos, it's been in that kind of vein.

And like I said, any immediate danger can warrant awareness of the danger being made impactfully.

I have issues with hitting children when they are just saying "no." (If you know what I mean.) There are other, more effective routes than beating on the flesh.

A spanking is not beating flesh. You are using neuro linguistics to negatively stigmatize a legal practice used to teach a child the difference between right and wrong, reward and punishment.

Open defiance must be punished. If done properly the child will respect their parents by the age of three and open defiance will no longer be an issue with that child. That is how love works.

If you don't love your children they will be a disgrace to society. Your method has produced many disgraces, thugs, gangsta's, morons, etc.


[edit on 27/7/09 by John Matrix]

reply to post by Amaterasu


What happens if ya at work and you get caught surfing porn or loafing and not working?
You get fired right?

Then you have to go home tell ya wife and kid's daddy got fired for surfing porn at work.

Look's like someone's pride got busted don't ya think.
Just Example lol

Or let's say i think i am untouchable .
I get it in my head..i can do what ever i want..no one can stop me...
Cop's get called..
You tell the cop's the same thing yu can;t tell em what to do...shut up... ect..

They try to arrest you for disorderly conduct.
You resit.
They kick ya butt and taser ya....
Ya pride just got took down a peg.

happens to adult's every day.

Originally posted by Amaterasu

Y'know... When I was a wee one (around 2ish), I was told not to stick things in sockets. But that was not the end of it. I was told not to, and then... I was told WHY. My dad made it very clear that the sockets were a danger and how they were. I got a good picture

I agree that if that works, then that is absolutely the best solution.

There are some children who are unable to grasp that kind of thing though, unfortunately. Some can, some cannot.


That kind of thing did work on me, but I've known a few kiddos that it doesnt.

My son comes to mind with that. As I said earlier, though, he is severely autistic, and has to be dealt with in a MUCH different way than my other 2 are.


Here's a side story to the socket story as well...

When my son was 3, his mother was sitting on the couch watching TV, and I was in the bathroom. I heard a strange sound repeating, and I recognized what was happening... i ran out into the living room, and saw my son trying to plug the cord into the socket behind the TV, for the stereo.

I got him away from it, got him to understand that was a bad thing to do, and then asked my wife (of the time) why she didnt take him away from it!?

She said she heard him messing around with it but didnt know what he was doing...


Who was I angry with in that situation? Her or my son? If you guessed her, you're right


It was not long after that that we seperated and I kept all the kiddos, because of her lack of ability, empathy, and neglectful ways.



Now, you may ask, why do I bring this up? It's because I want to point out the fact that even though, if the situation extreme enough to warrant a spank, or things of that nature (by the way, when *I* say spank, I do mean, with open hand, on the butt, nowhere else), I am also EXTREMELY protective of my children, and wish no harm to them. Only the best, with only love, for them.

It really heartening to see people defending their right to physically and emotionally abuse their children.

Good way to propagate the cycle of violence that we appear to be locked into.

It smacks (lol) of laziness, in all honesty, but if that's what you want to do and you think you have a good argument for it (I don't think you do) then you are going to continue regardless.

Originally posted by aorAki
It really heartening to see people defending their right to physically and emotionally abuse their children.

Good way to propagate the cycle of violence that we appear to be locked into.

It smacks (lol) of laziness, in all honesty, but if that's what you want to do and you think you have a good argument for it (I don't think you do) then you are going to continue regardless.

Perhaps you should go through and see what everyone says about it. Some I agree with, some I do not. Just as with EVERY SINGLE THING OUT THERE, there are extremists on both sides of this issue.

Seems to be, so far, a pretty reasonable open conversation about the subject, though.

Originally posted by Amaterasu
I still can't see a reason to ever resort to violent behavior. [shrug] I just can't.

Spanking is not violent behavior. Once again you are using neuro linguistics to give a negative stigma to something you know nothing about.

When I was but just a lad quite a few years back now, well ok 32 years back when I was 10. If I did wrong or was going to do wrong and me mam knew then all she threatened me with was me dad.................them days that threat stopped you dead in your tracks.

Don't get me wrong like all kids I / we where always up to no good, part of the fun was trying not to get caught, but if you did then you took the punishment and moved on.

Take the school summer holidays in the UK, six weeks of playtime, me mam always said be home before it got dark, well in them summers it never got dark till about 10pm.......pre global warming never mattered that you had been out since 8am and only been home once during the day for a jam sandwich to help see you through the battle of playing army or some other boy game.

So come 10:15 and me mam is standing at the entrance to the driveway with a broomstick waiting, no probs the driveway is some 15 feet wide so a fake to the right then go left and run like hell for the back door, made it without a smack, quick scarper upstairs and dive under the bedclothes like you should have done 10 mins ago.............safe

Like hell we was, me mam would come upstairs with a 6 foot garden cane, the type used to grow your runner beans up, and with a nice swishing sound give ten of the best whippings you ever had........albeit through the bed clothes.

I respected my mam n dad, to me they was the law and if you needed higher confirmation then a policeman would soon put you right, I would say for the last 20 years or so in the UK at least, the PC brigade have done a great job in educating kids in exactly what they can do and get away with regarding the law and at the same time shackled not only parents, but schools and the police.

Yes there are parents out there who in my mind do not deserve to have children, they are the ones who don't smack to correct but beat a child for any reason they can think of, this post is not about that minority it is about the majority of loving mams n dads who should be able to give their kids a clip round the ear, a smack on the bum as and when needed.

Wolfie

Originally posted by Jomina


Perhaps you should go through and see what everyone says about it. Some I agree with, some I do not. Just as with EVERY SINGLE THING OUT THERE, there are extremists on both sides of this issue.

Seems to be, so far, a pretty reasonable open conversation about the subject, though.

Yes, I have read through. I just wanted to post my opinion.
I realise that people view things differently than I do. It is a good discussion to have and important.

I just disagree with physical and emotional violence.

We are having a referendum regarding this issue, in New Zealand. $9 million for an unbinding referendum!
It's interesting that it has come from Family (Violence) First and is quite amazing hearing people defending their 'right' to physically abuse.

It's the 21st Century, people. We can break the cycle.
It just depends on how much you want to.

[edit on 27-7-2009 by aorAki]

In my opinion, kids these days need a spanking or two.

little brats.

Pain should not be considered an affective disciplinary tool for use on children. You would not consider the use of pain discipline on another adult who does something that you do not agree with. Most likely it is because you could receive pain in return or could face a lawsuit.

Most children are smaller than adults. They are not capable of causing pain in return. I consider it a form of cowardice to inflict pain on a child, even through the use of spanking. You can have tough love without using physical violence.

Originally posted by Amaterasu

Originally posted by drsmooth23
reply to post by Amaterasu

 

If i do something that ACTUALLY WARRANTS BEING CORRECTED, then bring it on I say.

If you read my statement and used critical thinking you would realize i mean it should always be the LAST RESORT

I still can't see a reason to ever resort to violent behavior. [shrug] I just can't.

So here is a question for you, If someone is beating you down are you not going to fight back? Someone tries to harm your family will you fight back? Violence sucks but right now it has to be used for defence and on the rare occ. the offense,

Originally posted by TurkeyBurgers
You can have tough love without using physical violence.

I absolutely agree with you. +1


It's amazing how many people say they wouldn't hit their dog (as you shouldn't) ,but have no qualms about smacking their kids....


hmmmm

Originally posted by unityemissions
If I so choose to have kids one day, I will respect them. In doing so, they will hopefully respect me. I remember being a kid and getting whipped with the belt. It just encouraged me to not only continue, but to increase my mishaps.

Physical abuse, emotional abuse...it's still abuse. Treat you kid as an equal, and they will love you and respect you dearly. At least, this is my thought. I remember seeing my friends whose parents allowed them to make mistakes, but gently guided them when there voice was wanted. These were the most successful, and happy friends I had.

I appreciate your view, but think it's a bit flawed and out-dated. I think "punks" are more a result of collective pressures. It's a societal problem, not a familial one. Feed their mind with what interests them, and they will grow wise and successful.

To love is to accept entirely, both the correct and incorrect choices. I choose to love.

New age, ya think? Whatever. The labels are meaningless, IMHO.

do you tell your dog to go poop outside with your kind words? does your neighbors cat stop using your yard as its private bathroom when you politely ask it not to?

you obviously have no kids, and have no idea what you are talking about. i suggest to find a thread and a topic you are familiar with. as a father of 2 children, i have spanked my older kid 3 times so far in her life, my son once. they are high achieving kids in gifted program, and i always run into younger clueless parents who can't even stop their child from running around the principal's office while having to hear about their kid's behavoral issues in classrooms.

moron parents have moron kids, they hide behind "i won't abuse my child no matter what" and simply neglect to provide the greatest gift a parent could ever give to a child... a discipline. the same discipline that can propell their education progress pass average joe's undergraduate degree, professional life that can provide beyond the average means to survive, and ultimately, to carry on the success to the next generation as my grandparents gave me the same platform to be what i am today, that my undisciplined biological parents who amounted to be nothing but alcoholics and failures in life.

Originally posted by aorAki
It really heartening to see people defending their right to physically and emotionally abuse their children.

Good way to propagate the cycle of violence that we appear to be locked into.

It smacks (lol) of laziness, in all honesty, but if that's what you want to do and you think you have a good argument for it (I don't think you do) then you are going to continue regardless.

More dr.spock new age mumbo jumbo.

It is not abuse in any way shape or form legally or any other way than what's ingrained in your mind.


You use word's like violence.
laziness.

Term's used in 1000's of book's on how to raise a child.
When in fact..A PARENT does not need a book to know how to raise there child.
Nor do they read them.

That's my point.

It's fine if ya want Your burden of a spoiled child put unto society.
One that only respect's there elder's if they get something in return.

No respect for women in general.
calling them biatch's and hoe's..ect...
Like it's a second language or something.
Go ahead.

Show me a child that's grown up that has never been whooped i will show you a time bomb waiting to go off.
They will be
A smartypants.
Rude in general.
and disrespectful to there parent's and or elder's...aunt's uncle's. ect..

Just thought I'd share...been following the thread...

My son came home from school one day with a smile upon his face,
He'd decided he was smart enough to put me in my place
Guess what I learned in civics 2 that is taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today, "The Childrens Bill of Rights"
It says I need not clean my room, don't have to cut my hair.
No one can tell me what to think or speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom from religion and regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head, and I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want and pierce my tongue and nose,
I can read and watch just what I like and get tattoos from head to toes.
And if you ever spank me, I'll charge you with a crime
I'll back up all the charges with the marks on my behind.
Don't you ever touch me, my body's for my use,
not for your hugs and kisses, that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about your morals like your mama did to you,
that's nothing short of mind control, and it's illegal, too!
Mom, I have these childrens rights, so u can't influence me
or I'll call Childrens Services Division, better known as C.S.D.
Of course my first instinct was to toss him out the door,
But the chance to teach a lesson, made me think a little more
I mulled it over carefully, I couldn't let this go
A smile crept upon my face, he's messing with a pro
The next day I took him shopping at the local Goodwill store
I told him pick out what you like there's shirts and pants galore
I've called and checked with CSD who said they didn't care
If I bought you K-Mart shoes instead of Nike-Airs
And I've cancelled that appointment to take your drivers test
The CSD is unconcerned so I'll decide what's best
I said "No time to stop and eat, or pick up stuff to munch"
and tomorrow you can start to learn, how to make your own sack lunch
Just save that raging appetite and wait 'till dinner time
We are having liver and onions a favorite dish of mine!!
He asked "Can I rent a movie to watch on my VCR?"
"Sorry, but I sold your tv for new tires on my car"
I also rented out your room, you'll take the couch instead
The CSD just requires a roof above your head
Your clothing won't be trendy now, and I'll choose what we eat
That allowance that you use to get, will buy me something neat
I'm selling off your jet-ski, dirt-bike, roller blades
Check-out The Parents Bill of Rights it's in effect today!! Hey hot shot are you crying and why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out instead of CSD??

may seem off-topic, I apologize, but thought ALL PARENTS and FUTURE PARENTS would get a little chuckle...G'day....

When you hit a kid you will teach it to hit people.

When you talk to a kid and be stearn with what you are saying you will teach it to talk to people and stand by its words.

my 2 cents

See I think we're missing a few huge things here

one...anti-spankers...a whoopin is probably not what you think it is. It is a spanking...typically a good one too...I have been whooped and the sting went away in seconds but the lesson was there forever...notfear...the lesson

Ameratsu...I understand you work with your child differently. The logic and reasoning work...well guess what...with others it does not. Some children, namely me, grow up in a healthy and happy home with loving parents and STILL disrespect and go batty from time to time. Time out, you're grounded, tickling me, and logic did not work. I have no chemical disorders and no psychiatric disorders...I was simply tempermental and terribly disobedient. The spanking put me straight.

Now with the pro-spanking folks...it doesn't work for every kid. Each kid is different. My sweet and adorable cousin Kate is now 16. She has never ben spanked or raised a hand to once and she is the most darling thing I have ever met.

Back to anti-spankers...her sister is JUST as darling and sweet and she was spanked...she isn't silent or trembling in fear...it'sjust a normal healthy child

It's a balance folks...some kids need a spanking and some don't

spanking never worked on my brother but man I would be a total punk right now had dad not spanked me

If my brother was spanked alot he would have probably grown up in a bad way

Ameratsu...I noticed at one point you said something about how you should NEVER spank...that's a horrid thing to say because you do not know the depths of any children outside your own.

Somewhere on page one somebody quoted that homeless folks and poor folks were whooped then clearly said they aren't for sure...yet others took this seriously. On the ambulance I used to drive I have picked up and talked to homeless who were never disciplined and they cited that as why they left home...Some cited abuse as why they left...please come up with a real stat instead of thinking you read something that was real

Balance folks...that's what this is...some of you never needed a spanking and some of you needed a tanned hide...just like I did and on each side of the argument...some of the spanked grew up well and some didn't...some of the non-spanked grew up well and some didn't. Don't sit and try to reason that 100% of kids need or don't need spanking.

-Kyo

Originally posted by aorAki

Originally posted by TurkeyBurgers
You can have tough love without using physical violence.

I absolutely agree with you. +1


It's amazing how many people say they wouldn't hit their dog (as you shouldn't) ,but have no qualms about smacking their kids....


hmmmm

My dog bite's my wife..i won't kick it i shoot it.

My child hit's my wife..i whoop it..Big difference man.

When and if my dog start's making fist's and back's my wife into corner's threatening her.
instead of biting..
I will whoop it then..


But it's either i shoot it.
Or animal control come's and does it..
But it's my dog i will take care of it myself.

Thus it's my child i will whoop it.
not call a doctor for med's later.

[edit on 27-7-2009 by TheAmused]

reply to post by TurkeyBurgers


The problem with attempting to convey what is right and wrong sometimes to children is simply the fact that they just don't understand. ANY of us can sit here and say that we should take the time to sit and explain situations to children, but in all honesty, some things are too complex to relay to a 2 year old.

I can remember taking a whooping or two as a kid and I think it set me straight. You don't need your parents to be your "friends", THAT causes more emotional damage than any spanking you can give out. Without understanding limitations and boundaries, you are just not going to end up right.

When was the last time one of your friends put a limitation or boundary on something you did? Aside from the, "you probably should stop drinking now..." advice, when was the last time you told a good friend s/he "can't do that because it's bad"?