m'Bride and I chose to not have children, thus I can't directly know the pressures of raising them.
I feared my father. He whipped me with a leather belt when I misbehaved. It worked, to an extent, in that I was motivated to not get
doing something that I knew would displease him. He would get very angry, tear off his watch, throw down his glasses and commence to
I started working for my parents at age 5 for $.05/hour for tasks beyond my regular chores. I wanted money, that was the way to get it. I didn't
want to be around my father, so I found a better job at much better pay (I got a nickle an hour raise each year) at age 10, so I gave him notice and
went to work elsewhere. he was both proud and ticked off. I still had to help him with fence construction, outbuilding construction, cattle care --
whatever needing done around the ranch and that was appropriate.
My Dad graduated to facial shots when I was about 10, and at age 12 I took secret martial arts classes, pretending to go bowling at the alley twice a
week after homework. I never used it against him. At 13, he went after me and I broke his jaw with a framing hammer, and ran away from home. My
Mother stood up to him many times, risking abuse herself, and was fearsome when protecting her child, although meek the rest of the time.
I left home at age 16. Since then, my father and I have become good friends again. After he retired, he went into social services and works with
families in abusive situations. Both of my parents carry a lot of guilt about my childhood. I see it as an interactive learning experience, and
really, compared to others I knew, I think it was a good childhood.
Did I fear that I'd also be a hitter? No. I'm not a screamer either, and I don't tolerate it from others. What I became was autonomous, and
it was integral to my survival.
Where I grew up -- Idaho -- corporal punishment was an acceptable thing in schools until Jr. High School. It worked also. This is all still a
very smushy gray line for me. I think spankings inflicted without anger can be an effective tools. Positive reinforcement, of course, is
preferrable, however I know very good parents who occasionally spank their kids. I've seen the kids, and how they behaved, and I understand.
Beyond spanking..... I think that's abuse. I just hope that those who employ spankings really understand where the boundaries are.
I wouldn't want to be a parent in these charged times. Much respect to anyone who shoulders that immense responsibility.
Sorry for the novella. I have issues y'know