The Space Opera Working Thread

So.....can I get a vote from you all on whether or not to post my draft as is? Or, if anyone would like to copy and edit it, that's cool, too.....
an actual "collaborated" post.....the rest of you can correct any mis-characterizations I've made for Sslar, Mucklebones, and Ben....as their creators.

Can we just try it this one time?

We'll call mine: draft W
I'll wait for drafts B, N, and S, in no particular order (except I listed them alphabetically).....

I like where BIAD's post is going...with Muckles now being a target, too!! Got my adrenaline kicked into gear!

reply to post by wildtimes


I vote 'Aye... no problem'

Thank you for your comments, BIAD was very vivid in describing his
posture during the fight and I had to tone it down... a LOT!
Saying "...my so-and-so was a-swinging as I high-kicked him inthe head"
-I feel, isn't appropriate.

Anyway, he's resting now in his shed.

Ok so Silo and Newman are all set for now with the 'confession' out..

I'll wait until I read what you've posted WildTimes to put up something about Adam finding Sslar is not Sslar - unless you want to do it - which you probably should since you started it.

Lemme know. I've got nothing written just wanting to tidy up.

Originally posted by A boy in a dress
reply to post by nenothtu

 

That bush did rustle and it was BIAD getting caught-short.

I did scold him as I post his latest episode on the thread and also
warned him to check there isn't a highway behind him when he...
well, you know.

Damn Motorway cameras!

Don't forget the sidewalk cameras, too!

I lived in Greensboro, North Carolina for a number of years. They initiated a traffic camera pilot-program for a while, with cameras to catch red light runners. Sounds all good, right? People who run stop lights frequently do so only to run into wreckage. Well, people started getting tickets for running red lights, complete with a photo. Many went to court, but the courts, contrary to officer-issued tickets, would not mitigate the camera-issued tickets.

Then someone noticed that the tickets were coming from Florida. NOT NC, but Florida. This did not go well.

The US has a strange system of reciprocity. As an example, I am certified for Law Enforcement in Virginia. That certification does not extend to North Carolina. To be Law Enforcement in NC, I have to get re-certified, and go through all the training all over again, like any other rookie.

Someone in Florida was enforcing NC law on NC citizens, and the city council appeared to be OK with that. I started hearing comments about "Robo Cops". I,E, "if they're gonna catch me, they'll do it fair and square. Use a real cop, not a robo cop."

Next thing I knew, the cameras were getting mysteriously damaged and taken out of commission. One I know of was run down in the middle of the night. The entire pole taken to the ground and the camera destroyed by vehicle. It was replaced, and destroyed, FOUR TIMES in the same way, and the city council finally got the message. Some of the other traffic cameras were suffering some sort of lens damage - as if from a pellet rifle - that rendered them blind. Unlike Carimono, who could only be blinded once, the cameras were repaired and reblinded repeatedly. It MUST have been a pellet rifle, because despite an investigative effort, no citizen was found that could recall hearing the shots if they had come from a real gun. I dunno. maybe all the screaming about the robocop tickets had deafened them, or maybe it WAS just a pellet rifle.

The traffic cameras, last I heard, are all gone from there now, but there are still 90 or so cameras around the outside of the courthouse. Tell BIAD to ... erm, "watch his ass" around governmental centers, too!

The picture of BIAD'S minions - that was taken in Florida as well, wasn't it? Around Miami would be my guess. They seem to be having a zombie problem there of late.

Originally posted by wildtimes
So.....can I get a vote from you all on whether or not to post my draft as is? Or, if anyone would like to copy and edit it, that's cool, too.....
an actual "collaborated" post.....the rest of you can correct any mis-characterizations I've made for Sslar, Mucklebones, and Ben....as their creators.

Can we just try it this one time?

We'll call mine: draft W
I'll wait for drafts B, N, and S, in no particular order (except I listed them alphabetically).....

I like where BIAD's post is going...with Muckles now being a target, too!! Got my adrenaline kicked into gear!

I'm sorry, I couldn't find anything to "repair" in the draft concerning either Ben or Sslar.

reply to post by silo13


hey hey...
wow! I was surprised by Silo and Newman...wonder where they'll go from here?

As for Adam's whereabouts....
sure, I can write his reaction. But can you tell me, how much time we're talking about, from when the Fighter left with the picnic basket to melt-down? Is it still the same day? It appears to be evening/end of activity time....and Silo was the last one in the Swamp. Right?

Did everyone just go back to work? Or did they all take the rest of the day off to recover from the trauma? What did Ship say to Moriah, btw? Is Ship up to full steam yet? Who would be receiving any signal from planet-side? Chumley?

Also, awaiting your assessment of the Cecilia's landing.....and then we can move along!

I'm imagining Adam went back to the Recovery Bay for some solo processing time, he or whoever had dismissed the twins from further lessons (if they weren't already 'sent to their rooms' to calm down or whatever)....then he notices Sslar. He hadn't noticed before because he was so excited and relieved by Dag's rapprochement...so happy he spontaneously zoomed out to the canteen to meet up with them all at the Fighter.

How did he know they were going? Did you have a scene between his talk with Dag and arrival with sandwiches?

I'm sorry if I'm being overly attentive to details....I tend to need things in sequence. For some reason I feel compelled to account for every moment, whether written or not, that got us/me from A to B.

At least, can you give me an idea if you had an imagined a sequence of events for Adam, from Dag's departure of his office to boarding the Fighter?

I'll go ahead and post the draft then, cool? Then back up to fill in the holes (if needed)...and away we go from there!

Alien landcscapes right here on Earth

An ATS thread with some truly odd looking things, right here on Earth. If things can appear to be so different here, how much more so on an alien world?

Originally posted by wildtimes

Also, awaiting your assessment of the Cecilia's landing.....and then we can move along!

it's coming together. It appears that Cecelia landed near the spot the (finger quotes) lezzer beeems (end finger quotes) came from, at Dag's insistence.There was a segment in BIAD's post that led me to believe that Cadillac was behind the firing of them. Now, whether they were in the same area for convenience of control, or in a far remote area to protect them from the (current) Neo, is anyone's guess.

I'll go ahead and post the draft then, cool? Then back up to fill in the holes (if needed)...and away we go from there!

Suits me.

reply to post by nenothtu


Okay then! I just wanted to ensure the NPCs were all appropriately drawn before posting it....I'll go ahead with it, then, and focus on Adam's response to Sslar's mirageness.

So even if it was Canaloni who was behind firing the beeeems...I don't think he was the one pushing the button. So now he's roadkill anyway, right?

How will the wolves respond to that? Joy? Dread? Hysterical feeding frenzy?


reply to post by A boy in a dress
Ewww!!. Tell BIAD to throw those eyeballs away, that's just sick. *shakes head, wandering away with grimace of disgust* ..... or....would he want to keep them for....for.....

EEwwww!! Yikes! Ew.
No, really, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

reply to post by nenothtu

link didn't work.....using Chrome.

reply to post by wildtimes

As for Adam's whereabouts....sure, I can write his reaction. But can you tell me, how much time we're talking about, from when the Fighter left with the picnic basket to melt-down? Is it still the same day? It appears to be evening/end of activity time....and Silo was the last one in the Swamp. Right?

Around lunch they went aboard the Deson Fighter - it wasn't long but however long it took to go from the Yydryl to within range of the planet to get into trouble - what - an hour maybe? Maybe more - not long though - and no they never got lunch, awww!

Did everyone just go back to work? Or did they all take the rest of the day off to recover from the trauma? What did Ship say to Moriah, btw? Is Ship up to full steam yet? Who would be receiving any signal from planet-side? Chumley?

I'll take this in reveres. I have not read yet from Neno - or I missed it - when he/BIAD contacted Ship or if they did so I can't tell you.

Chumley? He's working (already) on how Ship got hacked and I'll be adding that post in the next day or so - where he's dealing with what led up to Moriah's falsifying data, etc, hacking, whatever.

Everyone went to rest. Though the whole rescue getting from Deson Fighter back to Ship didn't take long it was physically very taxing so everyone's exhausted. But again - aboard the Yydryl there're no set schedules, no work schedules - what needs to get done - gets done - without structure. (I know, you're shuddering)!

What did Ship say? Only that it was time for Moriah to apply her knowledge to something useful - helping Chumley and taking rigorous flying lessons.

Remember nothing about the rescue is in detail and it shouldn't be really to stay in context.

Also, awaiting your assessment of the Cecilia's landing.....and then we can move along!

I've got nothing to say about it - not my characters.

Which reminds me - I didn't realize I used the name 'Ernie' for the handyman when CindyMar's 'Ernie' is the store owner who gave her the cat. I didn't think they were related in anything but name. I'll have to go back and make sure - he might in fact be her original creation.

I'm imagining Adam went back to the Recovery Bay for some solo processing time, he or whoever had dismissed the twins from further lessons (if they weren't already 'sent to their rooms' to calm down or whatever)....then he notices Sslar. He hadn't noticed before because he was so excited and relieved by Dag's rapprochement...so happy he spontaneously zoomed out to the canteen to meet up with them all at the Fighter.

Some guys are like that - bury the pain - like with his walk. It wasn't intentional.

I would presume the 'Twins' checked on Sslar with Adam - or separately - before resting.

How did he know they were going? Did you have a scene between his talk with Dag and arrival with sandwiches?

Nope - it's presumed they just all up and went. I didn't add any Dag info at all.

At least, can you give me an idea if you had an imagined a sequence of events for Adam, from Dag's departure of his office to boarding the Fighter?

I didn't. It's a huge huge vessel and no one is ever in another character's pocket. If they talked they talked - if they didn't? What's the difference? They were only heading off for a quick flight and sandwich. No biggy and with nothing clear between Dag and Adam (yet???) I can't imagine he was inviting her to go along on an impromptu space picnic.

I'll go ahead and post the draft then, cool? Then back up to fill in the holes (if needed)...and away we go from there!

Again not my characters soooo I've got nothing to say about it - other than I like it!

reply to post by silo13

I've got nothing to say about it - not my characters.

But....but....I just remembered,

Margo is definitely your creation! (I think of her as "neno's", just cuz of the...well the....food fight, and the towel-snap---------anyway. No, you invented her! Sorry, my bad.....)

Anyway, thanks so much for answering my (probably-trivial-nuisance) questions, it does help me build scenes!

So, then, I'll put together a little last scene covering Adam's "before the Fighter thought-process"....and the later "now-we're-safe, time-to-breathe" scene. I'm imagining him, after finding Sslar, thinking about the conversation, going to look for Dag...and she's gone.

Hey, do you have any ideas? Beyond what I wrote as maybes? Or do you like one of them best?

Have a great night! I know you're probably abed.

I've got nothing to say about it - other than I like it!

Cool! If that's the case, nevermind about whether Margo was okay or not! (I'll take that as a 'yes'.....)...

Originally posted by wildtimes
reply to post by nenothtu

 

link didn't work.....using Chrome.

Whoa! I never checked it, and it won't work for me, either! You could try "quoting" it, copying and pasting what's between the brackets. it was an ATS thread on an isolated island where life has developed.... strange looking...

ETA - nevermind. I see what I did wrong - I left the URL out! DUH!.

Originally posted by silo13

I have not read yet from Neno - or I missed it - when he/BIAD contacted Ship or if they did so I can't tell you.

No, I haven't posted anything any where about contact being made, just Margo trying to raise someone on the radio.

reply to post by wildtimes

NO problem answering I was just about ready to fall off my chair with exhaustion last night.
Margo is Neno's - even if the second Margo was 'mine' for a bit - it's still based on Neno, for Neno, about Neno, etc etc. Soooooo yeah, she's his, lol.

(Gasp!) I'm trying to pull all the loose threads of BIAD's rantings
together to make a decent well-woven storyline.
It's a pain and I shouldn't let him out of his fairy light-lit shed as
much!

But he's now back with his 'little friends' in there and so, I may
get a few minutes peace!

reply to post by A boy in a dress


Good stuff - and here I was, thinking BIAD took the eyes because he had none of his own, and it was some sort of subconscious ritual!

What's next? have you got a plan in mind? I ask because neno is about to make those wolves in his sight sit down and behave unless there's something specific in mind for the wolves and the eyes. Actually, it may not matter what he does, because he's not going to kill them - he's about to have an episode reflecting one I had a few years ago when a frantic neighbor called my house from work and said that two "strays" - a Rottweiler and a Pit Bull - had her son trapped in the house.

I stuck a 9mm in my field jacket pocket and ran over there, and made those dogs behave without firing a shot. It was touch and go for a few seconds. They charged me, all teeth and slobber, but instead of backing up or running away, I snatched that pistol out of my pocket and drew down on the lead dog (which was the Rottweiler) and yelled "JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THING YOU"RE CHARGING AT?" I kid you not, when I did that the dog stopped short, the following dog stopped, and they both sat right down. I wouldn't have believed it myself if I hadn't been there. I was sure one of us - either me or them - were about to get eaten, and it was all over just that quick.

The kid came out of the house then and said "how'd you do that?" I said "Finesse" because I didn't know how I did it, either. Then I said "get to yer bus stop so I can go home and get back to sleep".

I can see parts of that working here, unless it's going to interfere with the eyeballs plan...

reply to post by nenothtu

I stuck a 9mm in my field jacket pocket and ran over there, and made those dogs behave without firing a shot. It was touch and go for a few seconds, They charged me, all teeth and slobber, but instead of backing up or running away, I snatched that pistol out of my pocket and drew down on the lead dog and yelled "JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THING YOU"RE CHARGING AT?" I kid you not, when I did that the dog stopped short, the following dog stopped, and they both sat right down. I wouldn't have believed it myself if I hadn't been there. I was sure one of us - either me or them - were about to get eaten, and it was all over just that quick.

Not one tiny bit surprised at this anecdote! I've been known to shush and run-off aggressive dogs with little more than a stare-down or an abrupt "Excuse me?!". They can tell...it's the telepathic thing. Somehow I can't imagine ANY creature getting the "neno-glare" and thinking they could still win!!

Call it finesse, confidence, leadership, whatever. When you mean business, EVERYONE knows it!

Yeah, I like BIAD's last, too -- awesome stuff...
(still gagged a little in my throat thinking he just might try to shove those pork-pies into his own face. ACK!!
Or wear them on a string around his neck. Ew ew ew yuck!!

Yeah, I'm kinda queasy about some body parts. Blood and flesh and bones I'm fine with, but when it comes to organs....I dunno, it's just this aversion that turns me green. I can't even hardly hear about dialysis or liver problems without becoming faint. I wonder if it's a residual memory from a previous life where I somehow had to deal with such distasteful gore, or was a victim of some sick sort of .........EW.....ew.....

Weird.
Anyway, I laid in bed awake for hours during the night processing the Opera's next moves. I considered the atmosphere might have some impact on Dag's agility or biology that slows her down, or causes some bizarre effect like immobility, thought-flow stoppage, etc...

or perhaps she's going to fall into a deep well and no way out, and Adam comes to rescue her (AGain), this time via radio contact from someone.....

Or, she is attacked by a rogue one of these wolves...and they get her back to Yydryl just in time to expire in Adam's arms...

Or, when Criminitlies died, somehow something is "released" in her vicinity and assaults her...

but, yeah...
BIAD, what next? Toss us a bone, man!!
(NOT an eyeball, thanks very much).

reply to post by nenothtu

...I ask because neno is about to make those wolves in his sight sit down and behave unless
there's something specific in mind for the wolves and the eyes.
Actually, it may not matter what he does, because he's not going to kill them - he's about to
have an episode reflecting one I had a few years ago when a frantic neighbor called my house
from work and said that two "strays" - a Rottweiler and a Pit Bull - had her son trapped in the house.

No, no plan -just sic 'em!!

reply to post by wildtimes

still gagged a little in my throat thinking he just might try to shove those pork-pies into his own face.
ACK!! Or wear them on a string around his neck. Ew ew ew yuck!!

I caught BIAD typing that he was going to put them in a small bag and... No, I'm not
going any further -but to say it had some connection with the 'Miss Thing' character
in 'Scary Movie'

I think in the Opera, BIAD is going to to stop the light-beams and eliminate the wool-eff
on The Yydryl.
I think... he's sulking in his shed at the moment, because of his writings.