Ask... El Pollo Diablo

Originally posted by Hurricane
El Pollo Diablo,

Boxers or briefs?

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"It is always the boxers, unless you is tryings to keeps the sperm counts low on purposes. Even betters is the combinations boxer/brief, maybe in exotic colors other than the whites. Thank you. Come again."

Here is a test:
Lotto numbers for the Califonia state lottery drawing on August 19th.

When I'm rich, what color will my jet be?

I'm not a big fan of work either, but I need some way of making money.

What could I do besides work that won't get me in too much trouble?

How can we overthrow the Illuminati, assuming they exist?

Are they really watching me, again if they exist?

Oh great, wise and befeathered El Pollo Diablo.....




Show one of your true children the way. How can I escape from Monkey Island?

am i asking to many great el pollo diablo for if i am i am sorry, so is my grandma up there with you, and does my middle school football team finally win city and do i make red team

questions* sorry i forgot a word

Originally posted by sdcigarpig
Here is a test:
Lotto numbers for the Califonia state lottery drawing on August 19th.

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"Are yous awares that millions upon millions of peoples reads theses predictions every days? If I gives you the numbers, everyones will be buying the tickets. In the ends you will be having to share the proceeds, which will equates to arounds .32 cents, when divideds equallys amongs the winners. That's not even enoughs to buy a stamps for postage, let alones the costs of the ticket. I is savings you moneys! You're welcomes!

Thank you. Come again."

Originally posted by Hurricane
When I'm rich, what color will my jet be?

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"Hurricanes, upons the completions of sellings the film options for your thirds books, the jets you shall purchase will be of the colors purples and golds, upon advice of your businesses manager what wears a similarly colored fedora with a bigs feather in it. It will be the pimpinest rides in the airs!

Thank you. Come again."

Originally posted by euwhajavb
I'm not a big fan of work either, but I need some way of making money.

What could I do besides work that won't get me in too much trouble?

How can we overthrow the Illuminati, assuming they exist?

Are they really watching me, again if they exist?

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"Haves you considereds writing a books on conspiracys theories. Aparentlys there is peoles out there who will buys into anythings. If someones says there is being a crystal towers on the surface of the suns, theres is many peoples askings hows to gets there. Easys moneys. I mentioned Miss Cleo one other times. Follows her examples! You will be rollings in the dough.

Yes the Illuminatis is watching yous, because you are askings too many questions over the internets about nefarious goings ons. But never fears: They can be defeateds! You musts being seeking outs the Boek van de Boden. The Dutch Books of the Deads! With this, alongs with the dusts of three and one halfs virgin Andean mummies, you will haves the powers to raise the mightiest of all zombie armies. With this armys you can overthows the Illuminatis, Bilderbergerses, ands the Masonic Lodge in Oranges Co, California. You will have many mights!

On a sides notes, once you controls this armys, you will no longers needs job.

Thank you. Come again."

Originally posted by JackofBlades
Oh great, wise and befeathered El Pollo Diablo.....

Show one of your true children the way. How can I escape from Monkey Island?

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"You may not has noticed from one of my previous predictionses, but Jonathan Ackley
gets some hard feelingses from mes. But I answer your questions anyways. First of alls, you needs the hats of bronze, a picker of banannas, and a gubernatorials symbol of power. Do you has these? If you do nots, I can nots helps you. Lets me knows, and I will helps you continue on your quests for glorys! Thank you. Come again."

Originally posted by denynothing
am i asking to many great el pollo diablo for if i am i am sorry, so is my grandma up there with you, and does my middle school football team finally win city and do i make red team

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"Yous is not askings too many the questions, so have no worrys. Questionses keeps me vibrants and youthfuls... for a dead persons.

Your grandmothers is quite a ladys of the first classes. And she can be dancing a conga lines like nobody's businesses. Talk about cutsing rugses. She has also beats Eddie Guerrero ats the legs wrestlings. I bets you didn't knows she could dos thats! She says to say the hellos to yous, and on the fields of foot balls, watch outs for that number sevens. He may be fats, but he is fasts. Howevers, he is the tickleish.

Your middle schools teams is winnings the city awards, but unfortunatelys, not untils 2011. Howevers... you will makes the teams of reds!

Thank you. Come again."

I'm considering the purchase of a new computer system in the future. I want to run cool flight sims on it. What would be the best system? Drive sizes, capacities, sound cards, video cards, etc.? I want to BELIEVE I'm really there and going MACH 2 in my underwear.

Originally posted by Hurricane
I'm considering the purchase of a new computer system in the future. I want to run cool flight sims on it. What would be the best system? Drive sizes, capacities, sound cards, video cards, etc.? I want to BELIEVE I'm really there and going MACH 2 in my underwear.

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"Such a question full of complexities you is being asking! Here is the reccommendations of mine, but keeps in mind thats the technologies is constantly changings.

Tandy TRS-80 Model 1
CPU: Motorola 6809 E
SPEED: 0.895 MHz (or 1.79 MHz)
RAM: 4 KB (up to 64 KB)
ROM: 8 KB
TEXT MODES: max : 16 x 32, min : 16 x 8
GRAPHIC MODES: Several graphic modes, max : 256 x 192 (with 2 colors)
COLORS: 9
SOUND 1 voice
I/O PORTS: Tape, RGB, Joystick (2), Monitor, Cardridge, Serial RS232
OS: OS-9 Level 1

Sees if you can gets the carrying case. It makes it handys for being a portables laptops.

However, if you wants screamings performance, I highly reccommends the Commodores 128.

BUILT IN LANGUAGE Basic
KEYBOARD: Complete full-stroke keyboard with separated numeric keypad
CPU: 8502 + Zilog Z80
SPEED: 1/2 mHz (for the 8510), 1.022 MHz (for C64 mode), ~2.5 MHz (Z80)
CO-PROCESSOR: SID (sound), VDC & VIC-II (video)
RAM: 128 KB
VRAM: 16 KB
ROM: 48 KB
TEXT MODES: 40 or 80 chars. x 25 lines
GRAPHIC MODES: several, most used : 160x200 / 320 x 200 / 640 x 200
COLORS: 16
SOUND: 3 voices / 6 octaves
I/O PORTS: RGB, Video Composite, Joystick (2), Cardridge, Tape, User Port (RS232 compatible), TV, serial
BUILT IN MEDIA: C128D : 1571 disk-drive
OS: C128 mode, C64 mode or CP/M

This is being the best choices for playings the F-15, Kickman, and Defenders of the Crowns for the best in the jousting simulations.

Thank you. Come again."

wow i never knew my grandma could leg wrestle, could u tell Eddie Guerrero hi for me im a big fan, also why do we not win city this year, also i make the best team for football this season rite. so if i do what postition do i make on both sides of the ball

[edit on 14-8-2006 by denynothing]

Ok, El Pollo Diablo, since I can't get Menguard to answer any of my questions, maybe you can

What is the name of my spirit guide?

Thanks!

I tried looking for the Boek van de Boden but if I search it in those terms on the internet I get other language websites, or the Necronomicon. I suppose I'll have to somehow find a way other than the internet. Which brings me to my first question:

How should I go about finding this Boek van de Boden?

Do I have a spirit guide? What is it's name?

What did my dream mean yesterday?

Originally posted by denynothing
wow i never knew my grandma could leg wrestle, could u tell Eddie Guerrero hi for me im a big fan, also why do we not win city this year, also i make the best team for football this season rite. so if i do what postition do i make on both sides of the ball

[edit on 14-8-2006 by denynothing]

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"Eddie saids it is always being goods to hear from a fans. He saids to be not like hims. Don't lies cheats or steals. Alls ends ups in the bad ways of having to share jail cells with ugly persons what stinks.

As for whys your team doesn't makes the win for the citys, I forsees that someones on your teams is using the juices. Random drugs screenings will weeds the ner-do-well outs, but not before causing your teams to must forfeit the ships of champions. Tell everybodys to "just say nos" to the roids!

What positions will yous be playings? Hmmmm. How abouts long snappers and tight end? Or maybes centers and nose tackles? I don't know. You decides.

Thank you. Come again."

Originally posted by Watcher777
Ok, El Pollo Diablo, since I can't get Menguard to answer any of my questions, maybe you can

What is the name of my spirit guide?

Thanks!

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"Welcome, Watcher777. I is glads to has you with us. The names of your spirits guides is Jorje Robledo. Likes me he is a noble Spaniards, though he was borns before my times. As a spirit guide he is most excellents, for he was much with the braverys, and has seens many things. He will guides you through many things in the spirits of being intrepid and dashing, so you may have impulses to deal with adversities in a swashbucklings manner. The sides of being down with having Jorje as a guides of the spirits is that every once in a whiles he and that bastards Velaleazar gets into fights, which distracts him from his guidings duties. Jorje has troubles lettings the pasts go in the sometimes.

Thank you. Come again."

Originally posted by euwhajavb
I tried looking for the Boek van de Boden but if I search it in those terms on the internet I get other language websites, or the Necronomicon. I suppose I'll have to somehow find a way other than the internet. Which brings me to my first question:

How should I go about finding this Boek van de Boden?

Do I have a spirit guide? What is it's name?

What did my dream mean yesterday?

Oh, great and terrible El Pollo Diablo! Hear this petitioner's query. What message shall pass from thee to we?
...

"Firsts, you must finds the Jades Monkeys. After thats, you will be needings 11 paperclips, a soggy cigars, and a jars of oranges marmelade. Gather these things and I can being helps to yous. Good lucks!

You has a spirit guides, and her names is... Emma Goldman. This is giving insights to your tendencies towards the anti-authoritariansisms behaviors. Emmas is a pretty cool persons, and has lots of zeals for her jobs, but she cans gets carrieds away. If you ever feel the urges to hits someones on the heads because of unjustnesses, takes a deep breath and asks Emmas to tones it down a bits and to gives you some advices that will helps to advance your selfs, as well as keeps you out of the jails.

For dreams, whiles I cans be helping you, yours is such twisted visions I feels I must calls upon the helps of persons being specialists, mainly being my friends Gustav. He has done much of the works in dreamses, archetypeses, and neurosises."

"Gut day, Mr. Euwhavajab. You have a very, very ingtereztink brain in zer, inzide your noggin. I vould have to zay zat ze dinozaurs chazing ze old ladiez iz indicative of your own dizazociation from ze troublezome neighborz living next door. Try to remember to conciously convront your fruztrations vit zem, inztead of allowing your zhadow to become dominant. Become vamiliar vith your anima, and az it iz being ze veminine, may help you conztruct better relationzhips vith your neighbors. Iv zees does not vork, und ze dreamz continue, you may need to call ze local authoritiez and vile a noize complaint."

"Thanks yous, Gustav. There you is having it, euwhavajab. Your dreamses means you are crazys. I thinks. I don't know. Gustavs has this accents that I can barely be understandings. Good lucks, crazy persons. Thank you. Come again."

[edit on 8/15/2006 by hogtie]