Mail order brides? Really?

reply to post by schuyler


Also don't forget, Women prefer to have kids with man with muscles and looks but raise those kids with a kind and gentle man.

Just like men, Women do go for looks as well. But most women now(18-25), have set the bar so high for any guy to feel confident, its like you should have certain things before you approach them.

I seen few facebook replies as soon as i updated i got a job as a Research Microbiologist...

reply to post by luciddream

its like you should have certain things before

Shiny new car.
Lot's of money.
Your own house.
Ad naseum....

The mentality of single girls in the USA is focused on themselves. They want more and more, thinking that their beauty will achieve it for them. A husband? Bah, just another possession to have. File for divorce when you are unhappy, and get 50% of what he has. It's mostly greed driven. Old-fashioned values are not being taught to the youth of this generation.

reply to post by nightbringr

I simply think most people who go this route either lack confidence, self esteem or simply are to shy or don't put in the effort.

Or perhaps they are dis-illusioned by the mindset that females in this country have. Perhaps they still teach family values in Russia or the Orient?

If you have an asian fetish, fine, i understand looking for a Thai wife

I think it's more of a desire to be appreciated for who you are, as a male, and not for what you have. I don't see the desire to have a foreign wife as a fetish, per se, but rather an undeveloped hope for a lasting relationship that probably has a better chance of succeeding. It brings a whole new level to the "trust" issue. A woman that is willing to leave her home country to live in the US is going out on a limb for the sake of security. Usually, initial contact is done through emailing and chatting, long telephone calls, and the man and woman both have ample opportunity to get to know one another. Is the woman sugar coating her responses to get a man in the US more interested in her? Sure. Is that part of her nature? Of course. Is she more likely to be devote and loyal as a wife? Hmmmm.

I have an old friend that went the Oriental route, and today (after 11 years), they are still in love and perfectly happy. He's traveled to her homeland, tasted her culture, and they live in the US.

It all boils down to what you want from life.

Originally posted by Suspiria
I know a guy that ordered one but he wasn't in when the postman arrived.
Came home from work and found her behind the wheeley bins reading the new Next catalogue.

edit on 17-8-2012 by Suspiria because: (no reason given)

LOL!!!

Now that was funny!

The Russian bride fit right in with the russian bride I knew, right down to blond hair and attitude lol
That's the way they really are.

Originally posted by Druid42
reply to post by luciddream

 

its like you should have certain things before

Shiny new car.
Lot's of money.
Your own house.
Ad naseum....

The mentality of single girls in the USA is focused on themselves. They want more and more, thinking that their beauty will achieve it for them. A husband? Bah, just another possession to have. File for divorce when you are unhappy, and get 50% of what he has. It's mostly greed driven. Old-fashioned values are not being taught to the youth of this generation.

Oh puhleese.

No different than the successful businessman who trades in his 30 something wife for a shiny, brand new mid twenties trophy wife. Simply because she is younger and things arent sagging yet. Happens all the time.

And honestly, i have no problem for people filing for divorce when they are unhappy. Of course, people should try and work through their problems and not simply throw it all away at the first sign of trouble, but i firmly believe our most important goal in life is to be happy, and if ending what isnt working and moving on is the only way to be happy, your a fool to stay in a defunct relationship.

Originally posted by Druid42
Or perhaps they are dis-illusioned by the mindset that females in this country have. Perhaps they still teach family values in Russia or the Orient?

True. Women in the Orient are definately more subservient than women over here. Well, in the Orient at least, not sure about Russian women. You may think thats a good thing. I prefer a woman with spunk and a mind of her own.

Originally posted by Druid42
I think it's more of a desire to be appreciated for who you are, as a male, and not for what you have. I don't see the desire to have a foreign wife as a fetish, per se, but rather an undeveloped hope for a lasting relationship that probably has a better chance of succeeding. It brings a whole new level to the "trust" issue. A woman that is willing to leave her home country to live in the US is going out on a limb for the sake of security. Usually, initial contact is done through emailing and chatting, long telephone calls, and the man and woman both have ample opportunity to get to know one another. Is the woman sugar coating her responses to get a man in the US more interested in her? Sure. Is that part of her nature? Of course. Is she more likely to be devote and loyal as a wife? Hmmmm.

All fair, i simply disagree. Im now 41 and have had many wonderful relationship with Canadian girls over the years. Sure, ive run into materialistic girls, but i simply dont have time for those and moved on. Im not married to a wonderful woman would couldnt care less if i had two pennies to rub together and is extremely family oriented. She is not materalistic at all. And i found this in my home town in Canada. Doubt the USA is that much different.

Originally posted by Druid42
I have an old friend that went the Oriental route, and today (after 11 years), they are still in love and perfectly happy. He's traveled to her homeland, tasted her culture, and they live in the US.

I hope they have many more happy years!

Originally posted by Druid42
It all boils down to what you want from life.

I agree. But again, to write off all North American women as materialistic and "princesses" is absurd in my opinion.

Here's a challenge for you:

How many Mail Order Groom sites are there? Just something I was thinking about.

There are hundreds (haven't counted, just speculating) of Mail Order Bride sites.

I am sure the ratio is nowhere near the same. Why would that be?

reply to post by jeantherapy


I think you hit the nail on the head with this one!
I can't say anything further on this topic in this post.

reply to post by Druid42


Men are traditionally the ones that first approach women when a relationship begins. Even moreso in countries in the orient where many of these wives come from.

I would assume its the same reason there are many woman prostitutes while men (for women) are almost unheard of. Men are more sexually desperate and the shy or awkward simply cannot get with women. Any girl can get lucky at the bar if she makes herself available. While the men look, the girls choose.

Originally posted by luciddream
reply to post by schuyler

 

Also don't forget, Women prefer to have kids with man with muscles and looks.

I've been doing it all wrong all this time.
Still got gorgeous kids though.

Originally posted by smyleegrl
My personal opinion is that the majority of men who go the mail-order bride route suffer from low self-esteem and are convinced that the only way to have a relationship is to pay for one.

Then there's the other type who have maybe been married before to a western woman and now realise that spending SO MUCH energy on just the possibility of a lasting relationship is no route to happiness.

EVERYONE "pays" for a relationship btw. Did you mean "marriage" instead perhaps? Hang on, people pay for those too, and a wedding can be quite expensive. More expensive than two plane tickets anyway.

Cut the bull, get what you want without the grief. I have 2 friends who have Indonesian wives. Young, pretty(ish) and here's the thing, they are not afraid of hard work and don't need constant attention to feel special. Their actions and gentle persona provide all the harmony any man could want. Beats the crap out of a stunner who can't even boil an egg.

Most people looking for a relationship these days seem quite delusional and rarely take a look in the mirror beyond the labels and image.

The one good thing about all the overly deluded attention seekers is that they stand out in a crowd and are easily aviodable. I have laughed at some of the advances I have had and grateful the owners wear their shallowness so openly.

Why buy balls to thow at coconuts for months or years when you can buy a nice fresh one straight off the tree?

Women do this too don't forget.....the "fuggly" well-off ones mostly. A singles holiday to an expensive all inclusive resort with prospective husbands employed everywhere pandering their every need as a guest. A trophy husband to take home and make them feel like the princess who has been rejected all to often.

If I had the money I would buy a wife. Yup!

And I would have a head start with introductions from the friends I have who have already done it. Both vey happy and his new wife of about two years is about to drop their first child.

Sometimes common sense prevails, why do the pain thing so many times and invest so much in superficiality when there is a simple solution for some (men and women).

How much is a flight to Indonesia?

Originally posted by nerbot
EVERYONE "pays" for a relationship btw. Did you mean "marriage" instead perhaps? Hang on, people pay for those too, and a wedding can be quite expensive. More expensive than two plane tickets anyway.

But.............arent you going to pay for the wedding to your mail order bride? I doubt she can, she came from poverty.

Or are you hoping to save money by going this route? Dollar store love at a discount?

Originally posted by nerbot
Cut the bull, get what you want without the grief. I have 2 friends who have Indonesian wives. Young, pretty(ish) and here's the thing, they are not afraid of hard work and don't need constant attention to feel special. Their actions and gentle persona provide all the harmony any man could want. Beats the crap out of a stunner who can't even boil an egg.

So all you want is a woman who cooks, cleans and stays in the kitchen. Check!

Originally posted by nerbot
Most people looking for a relationship these days seem quite delusional and rarely take a look in the mirror beyond the labels and image.

And most people who have a problem finding spouses point the finger at the opposite sex instead of looking in the mirror and seeing why they are unlucky in love. If you want to attract a good partner, you will need to be worthy of them.

Originally posted by nerbot
Why buy balls to thow at coconuts for months or years when you can buy a nice fresh one straight off the tree?

Yep. Women are a commodity to be bought, right? Are you from Saudi Arabia by any chance?

Originally posted by nerbot
Women do this too don't forget.....they "fuggly" well-off ones mostly. A singles holiday to an expensive all inclusive resort with prospective husbands employed everywhere pandering their every need as a guest. A trophy husband to take home and make them feel like the princess who has been rejected all to often.

Huh?

Originally posted by nerbot
And I would have a head start with introductions from the friends I have who have already done it. Both vey happy and his new wife of about two years is about to drop their first child.

And when they get their citizenship papers and learn to speak the language fluently, your friends just might be the ones who get dropped.

Originally posted by nerbot
Sometimes common sense prevails, why do the pain thing so many times and invest so much in superficiality when there is a simple solution for some (men and women).

This is your solution for men, dont kid yourself and think its for women.

After all, why dont we see women from Canada, the USA and Western Europe signing up to be married off to good men from the Ukraine, Thailand and the like? Thats right, because the women here have much better lives than what can be offered them in those countries. So dont kid yourself, these women would have never married these men if they werent brought up in poverty. Im not saying that they may never fall in love with these men, but while the men may have married them for good, obedient wives, these women married because they were desperate for better lives.

Hm, there's a lot of crap in this thread. Firstly, I have seen ugly women with good looking men. Heck I'm ugly, my husband is not. You can't boil down relationships to looks. It just doesn't work that way. Many people form relationships around "Common goals and interests". This is why most people tend to find their partners among their group of friends, co-workers or in the place of leisure they frequent. This is the only way long-term relationships work. As for "Lowering one's standards", the problem is the emphasis on looks to begin with. You can't have a relationship based on "S/he is a hot piece of ass". Looks draw us to something, they should not keep us there if the content is bad.

reply to post by antonia


I dont advocate lowering standards or looking at everyone as a 1 to 10, i simply think it ridiculous that some people need to look overseas for a wife, insisting that all women in North America are princesses. Im not against people finding love elsewhere, i once fell in love with an amazing Dutch girl, but i know for a fact there are tons of great girls to be had here on this side of the ocean.

You may disagree.

reply to post by nightbringr


Well, i completely agree with that sentiment. I do agree that for the most part men tend to over estimate how blessed they are in the looks department and many women do the opposite. It's more to your advantage to seek a mate in country if longevity is your prime concern as you'd be more likely to have something in common with your partner. Not that it wouldn't work out with someone outside of the country but I just think you'd have more luck in country.

Originally posted by nightbringr
But.............arent you going to pay for the wedding to your mail order bride? I doubt she can, she came from poverty.

Ring and a Priest. At eastern prices.

So all you want is a woman who cooks, cleans and stays in the kitchen. Check!

You said that, I didn't.

If you want to attract a good partner, you will need to be worthy of them.

Or maybe a smart person would forget all the superficial crap that needs to be done to appear worthy in anothers eyes and just go for someone who understands the concept of acceptance and can like you without the need for a list, knowing you will grow together and vice-versa.

Yep. Women are a commodity to be bought, right? Are you from Saudi Arabia by any chance?

Replace "Women" with "People" and I would say yes. And no, I'm not from Saudi Arabia, but I've seen some nice pictures.

Huh?

It happens.

And when they get their citizenship papers and learn to speak the language fluently, your friends just might be the ones who get dropped.

You may be talking about Tai women or some of the other eastern and eastern European countries, but as I said, my friends wives are Indonesian and they have a unique culture.

That's like stereotyping Canadians with Americans.

This is your solution for men, dont kid yourself and think its for women.

Your doing it again. I never said that, and I think it should be for anyone who chooses.

I was talking about friends with eastern wives and why it seems so much cooler than spoon fed western ideals.

After all, why dont we see women from Canada, the USA and Western Europe signing up to be married off to good men from the Ukraine, Thailand and the like? Thats right, because the women here have much better lives than what can be offered them in those countries.

Or perhaps some cannot leave the bubble surrounding them created by fear and ignorance.

So dont kid yourself, these women would have never married these men if they werent brought up in poverty. Im not saying that they may never fall in love with these men, but while the men may have married them for good, obedient wives, these women married because they were desperate for better lives.

"desperate for better lives"............that could apply to anyone really, regardless of sex or race.

I must say as I grew up and through highschool I felt like I was missing out not ever having any serious relationships or losing my virginity.

Now as a 23 year old and seeing the relationships that my friends and family find themselves in, I'm extremely thankful that I havn't had that level of emotional stress placed upon my shoulders. I guess it just took time and a more solid perspective of what relationships are likely to be to realize it.

Not to say I am completely unwilling to fall in love but I know I havn't met a single person in my life's journey that I would have been happy with and am content if I never do.

My motto is if you cannot be happy alone what makes you think you'll be happy in a relationship?

reply to post by nightbringr

Actually on this subject and going by the number of divorces going on, in all it seems like everybody has been divorced a few times, or at least once. So in all given that I have seen and know a few people who were married if not by the whole mail order bride thing, by the more old school and traditional ways of arranged marriages. Some did not even really choose there bride or really know them but for a few weeks or even days, and even then there parents or somebody really did the choosing and all the work involved, even if they had the ultimate say.

Weird no doubt, but the fact that it seems to work for them and the fact that at least some of the ones I seen still are in that coupling says something for it. In all what I am trying to say is that there relationships still is lasting and going on, while others has been stumbling and falling to the wayside like clockwork. Which in all says a lot about something about the whole thing.

In all i got to say whatever works...works, arranged marriages are a bit different then this whole mail order bride thing, but still if you take away all the stigma and all the things people put and place upon it, it really is not that much different then any other way people would meet or get together. And it would still be about the same things only under a different venue. So in all it would have as much a chance at working, "as long as there serious about it" and not some "thing" they got in there head as any other way that people go about in getting together and eventually getting married.


And this whole mail order bride thing has as much a chance at going somewhere and actually lasting then the other ways people have been going about it, in fact again it seems judging by the number and percentages of divorces going on that, that it would be no different or no more good or bad then all the other ways out there.

I have no problem with this. Everyone wants someone beautiful. The sad part is, these people still believe they deserve a 10 when the booze wears off. Joe Blow who works managing at McDonalds believes he deserves nothing less than a tall, blonde haired, CEO of a major corporation. Obviously, this goes the same for the women.

True in some respects, but most dudes I have personally known. Actually are more attracted to the more common females then the ones that are placed on the pedestal, not saying that they would not want that or would not go for that. Only saying by what I seen that when it's all said and done, they will and do go for the more homely ones then the whole super model thing, in fact the whole model thing is overrated and blown way out of proportions, as most of them seem to be way more attracted to the more short curvaceous ones then the whole tall, blue eyed, blonde haired super models ones. And that is speaking form experience and fact, I am sure if you looked around you will see the same thing as well.

And no the same does not go for the women, even if the TV says it does. That to has shown to be false and after all males and females trough out the centuries have been instinctively been breed to look for different things in the people they mate with. And most times to me at least it seems that they are definitely not looking for the same things. That is quite obvious.

These women are invariably looking to escape poverty or hardship in their own country. Now, obviously there are amazing women to be found anywhere in the world, but i suggest that for a women at go to these lengths, she is desperate to escape her lot in life and will cling to anyone who can make things a little better. This is not love.

Oh I am sure that everybody both men and women look for that which will add more to there life. I do not think it matters at all really, and if you don't believe me. Well then put your shiny toys away leave that shiny car in the garage and get yourself a beat up dinky little one, dress as shabbily as you can, and act like a poor broken fool. Then go ahead and try to get into the dating scene or attract a female in you local neck of the woods. See how far that would get you.

What I am saying is that I am sure that you wont get one female to look at you given that respect, and that here, there, and anywhere its really about the same things and all women are looking for somebody who can offer her more then somebody who cant. And it really does not matter were you are, basically they are the same and really the only difference is in the options they have. It may not be love, but it is what it is...Merely human nature.

You may call that superfical, but women are hardwired to find providers for them and their future children, and i can understand it. That includes having good future prospects.

People always answer there own questions.

So where do we find women that arent pieces of #

Originally posted by smyleegrl
My personal opinion is that the majority of men who go the mail-order bride route suffer from low self-esteem and are convinced that the only way to have a relationship is to pay for one..

Despite the *FACT* that having a Mail-Order Bride is Cheaper then having a "Normal" Girlfriend!...