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Originally posted by 74Templar
reply to post by hotel1
In some regards, yes. I have friends who are happily married though, yet they just seem to subconciously throw women they know at me all the time. Maybe it's the opposite, that they are thinking I'm miserable not being like them.
Originally posted by apushforenlightment
Originally posted by 74Templar
reply to post by corvuscorrax
More of an observation than a fact. I have to say that mindset is not something I condone nor want to be like.
I have had female friends tell me the good guy (or doormat) is not the guy they want, and that sometimes even they go for the bad boy that acts that way. And that's coming from them, not me.
From my point of view a few theories: It is because they want the challange and being able to have an interesting emotional life. Maybe it is also because they are bored. That is the price you pay when they have it to easy and do not need to struggle enought in life. If they lived a life where everyday was a struggle to survive then the bad boy charm would have dissapered quickly.
I have a sister that makes all the wrong choices. Seems she likes mentaly unhealthy guys and you cannot fix her whatever you say. She have had a few scare her for a while so she keep away from it but after a while it is the same kind of people she chooses. When someone is good for her she kicks them to the curb. The nice one is boring so I dumped him to be with the alchoholic player that is so much fun. And then after a few months she is pissed of because the alchoholic player still do not want to commit and still plays her. It is like battered wifes. They are addicted to the missery and you cant help people who do not want to be helped.
Originally posted by ThisIsNotReality
Originally posted by hotel1
Your single status to your coupled friends who try to hook you up with other singles represents doubts they have about their own relationship status. They see you as you are and then begin to question there lives, for others you appearing to be happy in your single state makes them angry as they beleive you should be as miserable as they are.
Your views are as narrow-minded as the ones of people you describe in your post, such a shame really.
You must be an unhappy single? Those unhappy singles always project their being unhappy on couples that try to help singles. Makes as much sense as what you suggest here doesn't it?
I'm in a relationship, and though I, nor anyone else, can say if it will last, etc... I'm very happy. I don't try to match singles though but I do feel you're trying to suggest that if I'm not trying to match singles, deep down inside I must still be angry too because I'm so jealous of single people?
This is how it is; even in the animal kingdom, some animals seek a connection with another animal, while others don't. This is the simple reality, nobody is the same, many people that are in a relationship don't want to lose it. Many for wrong reasons, but there are examples, like me, that only do it for the love they get out of it. I have a very healthy relationship, we don't exchange gifts to show our love for each other, we give each other a kiss and a hug and we're doing better than the bozos that think they need to spend half a K on their partner's birthday present.
Second, there are the people that feel they're doing a good deed, and when not told they aren't, they will keep on believing they're doing a good thing. You see, if you don't like what people are trying to do for you, you can also just say it, you know, like "I appreciate your efforts but I don't need your help".
Some people fall in love, experienced the immense joy it brings, and hope to bring said joy to other people too. It's not because their intentions are misunderstood they must be really unhappy in their relationship, what utter garbage... I'm sure there are couples like the ones you suggest, but to go and say all couples that try to match singles are like that, ridiculous, sorry. Love is a beautiful thing that can be experience as an individual, but in the first place it is found in a relationship (not necessarily a sexual one), like mother and child. Some people think, sometimes correctly, that singles don't experience this love, and want to help them.
YOU do not appreciate the help, nor does the OP, but do you seriously believe every single person is happy and hates trying to get set up???? I'm 100% sure some people are DYING to find love and and equally sure some people have found it with the help of others.
Your generalizations are really, really sad. If only some people would take the time to look at the other side of EVERY medal they encounter in life, things would be so much easier But no, everything is bad, no exceptions.
@ OP; I can completely understand how you feel. I am relatively young and there is no way to tell if my relationship will last or not, I hope it does, and so does my girlfriend, and I know we are both prepared to work when the relationship needs fixing.
I'm nut suggesting you didn't give fixing a try, I'm sure you did, and I'm equally sure that no matter how much you want to fix something, it won't work if your partner doesn't share this idea. Some people get rid of a car the second it breaks down, they immediately go looking for a replacement. Others try to fix it, or have it fixed, they have enough of a "connection" with the car that for them, it is worth getting fixed, there may be some problems, but unless it's a total wreck, there's nothing that can't be fixed.
I don't go and buy a new car the second my current one breaks down, why should I? I'd have to learn how it works etc... all over again which is pointless to me.
Now, before someone starts thinking I see my partner as a car, I don't But we've had plenty of problems, luckily nothing wrecking yet, but enough serious fixes have occurred, and they worked. Every new partner means; a new character, new preferences, new ideas, new conflicts,... that all need time to get adjusted to, time to fix,...
And at times, I do confess, I wonder what it would be like to be single again, but I don't long for it, because choices were made, and as with everything in life, there may come a time to re-evaluate those choices, but when everything works, why try to change it? I applaud your choice and that of other singles! As long as they applaud mine, I don't see why I should bother anyone unless they require it. (as I said earlier, some people do want help)