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Originally posted by religiousmurder
I can't relate to any of you. What's a relationship? Hell....What is a date? Never experienced one. All i know is I'm permanently depressed for not having the miserable experience.
Originally posted by 74Templar
reply to post by corvuscorrax
More of an observation than a fact. I have to say that mindset is not something I condone nor want to be like.
I have had female friends tell me the good guy (or doormat) is not the guy they want, and that sometimes even they go for the bad boy that acts that way. And that's coming from them, not me.
Originally posted by hotel1
Your single status to your coupled friends who try to hook you up with other singles represents doubts they have about their own relationship status. They see you as you are and then begin to question there lives, for others you appearing to be happy in your single state makes them angry as they beleive you should be as miserable as they are.
Originally posted by SpookyVince
To put it in just a few words, normality is only a matter of majority. If you don't correspond, if you don't mix in, if you're not like the 95% of John Doe's, then you're not normal.
A few other examples of things that you "don't do like others" and which, nearly inevitably, will bring its load of "friends" recommendations : you don't have a "smart" phone, you don't have a FB account, you have money yet an old crappy car, you don't want to go on holiday even if you can afford it, you refuse to eat junk foods, you don't watch or even don't own a TV, etc. etc. etc.
It is just so sad that people who are "like the rest" feel forced to encourage those who're not to follow them into their reality of things. Because that's merely it : it is their own reality, not your reality.
Of the things above, I would tick them all except the car thing (mine is only 9 years old and not too crappy ). I could easily afford to go on holiday, to buy another house or another car, etc. I just don't need that.
Why would I have to match?
Same as with being single. I just want to remain single, I'm better this way. Is it so hard to understand and to accept? Apparently so. Why would I need a woman around me?
Worse even than what others think, is what they do. Like those cases when someone goes "Maybe you should try". Try what? To rape her? Listen buddy, I have some friends who actually happen to be female members of the human race. I don't want to # around with that woman, she's fine as a friend ok?
Or still even worse... Like the OP said, when others try to hook you with someone. Hell I can be most detestable person then. To them, and to the potential hook as well even if it is probably most of the times unintended. It is just the situation that gets me out of myself. Why won't people let me live my live the way I want it to be?
Do I try to change other's lives? No. It's their life.
Do I try to get people together, or worse to separate them? No. It's their feelings and minds.
Do I want my friends to change their hair style or clothing style? No. It's their choice.
Do I ask anyone why they don't have an iPhone? No. It's their phone.
Why do too many people including friends and family try (and want!) to change bits of yourself?
Well I don't know, but if that is the majority, then the majority is a real sad sneaky intruder.
Originally posted by ThisIsNotReality
But you also seem to forget that suggesting things to you that they have received joy from is THEIR choice as well
it's YOUR choice to say you don't want help.
Next time someone tries to hook you up, (...) Next, just be bluntly honest with them; "I appreciate the help but it's not needed."
And lastly (...) some people DO appreciate the help.
Maybe you would love to see every person on the planet minding their own business
"Ugly" people with low self-esteem often need a little push, they sometimes need to be put together in one room with a stranger of the other sex, because otherwise they would never get that far if it were up to their own efforts...
Some poor people don't want help either, but not offering help to any poor people because of other poor people's beliefs is foolish and even harmful.
Originally posted by Podius1
reply to post by 74Templar
you're not, I've felt the same way. I'm 52 and single. I do tell people though that if I do find a mate we'd have to have seperate bedrooms. I've been a loner ever since I was a kid. Can't really explain it, space means freedom for me...I just have to have it.
Top ten myths about introverts
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
Originally posted by 74Templar
reply to post by jiggerj
I was better friends with my first ex after we split, and I have friends who are the same after their breakup. I guess it's the no pressure thing once a relationship is over. Kinda like not having to be what your partner thinks you should be, or compromise who you are anymore. It was like that for me anyway.