So your single? You can’t possibly be normal.

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posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 12:58 PM
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Since gay is normal, so is single.
Everyone is free to chose, right ?




posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 01:17 PM
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Originally posted by 74Templar
Or so people would have me believe.

Don’t get me wrong, I have many friends who have paired off that really don’t care about my preferred status. But I get it a lot in this world, that somehow a preference to stay on my own is not normal.

In a nutshell I have been through two failed marriages and three other failed long-term relationships, and put simply, I just can’t make it work out. Whether it be selfishness on my part, or a preference to be alone, I couldn’t say. All I can say is when I am in relationships, I am miserable. When I am single, I’m not. I don’t know how else to explain it, but I can tell you one thing is for certain, what seems a normal choice to me, is completely against the rules according to the mainstream.

Let me give you a few examples.

At a recent school sports day I was one of the few single dads there. They had a race for fun between the kids and their parents. Of course the mothers there were in force as usual, and lining up to race their kids. When it came my turn I swear everyone looked around as I put my hand up as though looking for my kid’s mother.
“Oh. I guess we have a dad here.” What? Of course you do. Is that so hard to believe?

And of course I have the well-meaning work colleagues and friends, who despite on the surface accept my reasons for wanting to be single, constantly seek to try and “hook me up” with other singles. To be honest it’s infuriating.

At a party on the weekend, of course there are your couples, and your singles. Most of the people there that are single, are like me. Just not interested. Of course one of my work colleagues just has to bring a single friend along, and spend the next half hour trying to essentially slam us together, to see if we stick. Even I could see she was about as into that idea as I was. Thankfully my colleague eventually gave up. Later on, just for the hell of it I talked to her, and she admitted the same as what I was thinking. That it was obvious that we were two singles, and of course everyone just thought that we should hook up just because of that. We did actually get along quite well, but she had the same idea as me. Why is it that people who are already coupled seem to think that people who are single are forever desparately seeking a partner?

I’m quite happy being single. I have enough to do with a family and work, and to be honest don’t really want to put myself or another person through a relationship again. The bottom line is I have enough single friends that if I need a “date,” I can ask one of them and vice versa.

Does anyone else share this lack of need to be partnered up? Or am I just, as my friends imply, not normal?











Kudos to you. Don't let some crazy woman continue to control you. Be free.

edit on 8-7-2012 by colbyforce because: (no reason given)



posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 01:22 PM
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reply to post by Choice777
 


Absolutely. I'm good friends with a couple of single gay lads, they don't try to hit on me because they know I don't bat for that team, and most of all..........they're happy!

I don't get the whole "couples are miserable and want to drag you down" thing though. I respect my single buds (straight/gay), and they respect me. Maybe It's more of a Christian/Catholic mindset that causes this stereotype though, as opposed to couples.



posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 01:25 PM
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reply to post by kaylaluv
 


Ive never dated based on looks at all. Infact i avoid the drop dead gorgeous ones like the plague...lol. the local gun range lets women shoot free on mondays....i only ever saw a girl there when i brought one lmao.



posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 02:18 PM
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reply to post by 74Templar
 


SOLIDARITY !

Don't worry yourself about the pressures of getting married. So many of us are opting for single life and there is NOTHING wrong with it. I recently had a night terror about it myself. I refuse to get married. I'm too much of a feminist. I have the same problem you do. I'm miserable in a relationship and just dandy on my own.

Stand strong.



posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 05:23 PM
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reply to post by 74Templar
 


I think you might be imagining this. I don't know anybody who goes around judging people for being sinlge I mean besides the little girls back in 6th grade
Stop being Paranoid



posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 06:53 PM
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i have gone from one extreme to another when i was younger i was a total slut sleeping with hundreds of girls/women , i still had long term live in girlfriends one for 4 yrs 2 for 2 yrs plus . i used to need nookie about 30 times a week .one day when i was 40 i woke up and my mojo was gone thank fxxx i was living with a stunner of 25 at the time .i just broke it off & have lived on my own since love every minute of it a happy hermit . one thing i have noticed in the last 5 years if you knock back a woman boy does she get pissed off but no surrender of my single status enjoy it too much . i like having the sex drive of a lazy sloth these days



posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 07:47 PM
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reply to post by Choice777
 


23 years old and never had a relationship last more than 2 weeks.

Why? It's to nerve wracking to be in a relationship. I love being able to do things at my own leisurely pace.



posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 07:50 PM
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Originally posted by kaylaluv

Originally posted by TDawgRex

Originally posted by 74Templar
reply to post by phroziac
 


You do get over it. I guess I just weigh up the good with the bad, and staying single just comes out on top every time.

All I can suggest if you are keen on this woman, and she is available, is be aloof. Act like you don't care. They seem to come running every time I do that.


I've noticed this behaviour in woman I've dated as well. What's up with that? I prefer to be honest and upfront with the one I care about so when I've done this tactic, it always felt weird and wrong. But it always worked.

Is there a woman on this thread that can posit a response as to why this works?


I am a woman, and I have no idea why the women you know respond better to jerks. I, myself, have always preferred that a man let me know if he was interested in me. Now, I have had stalker-type men harass me -- and that is pretty creepy, so there is a boundary that one shouldn't cross. By stalker, I mean someone who calls you 3-4 times a day, shows up at your workplace multiple times a week (uninvited), follows you around everywhere, etc.

Again, I think you guys may be hitting up the wrong women. There's got to be some decent girls out there who aren't into total game-playing. Maybe they aren't drop-dead gorgeous, so they don't interest you?? I don't know, but when I was single, I had many single girlfriends. Some of those girls WERE into playing games and trying to find the guy with the most money, but there were also girls that weren't into that at all. I know they exist... because I was one of them.


Thanks for the reply. When one of my relationships gets, um, stale or maybe stagnant is a better word or maybe it's the one sided conversations...I don't know, I will become standoffish myself and start to ignore her. If she won't tell me what is bothering her, than so be it. I don't like being this way, but as they say, situation dictates.

Not all of my former girlfriends have come running back, but most have and it only lasts for a short period of time.

I have came to the conclusion ten years ago that I don't want a needy woman. I just want one that wants me back. Pretty simple, eh?



posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 08:17 PM
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Originally posted by TDawgRex

Originally posted by kaylaluv

Originally posted by TDawgRex

Originally posted by 74Templar
reply to post by phroziac
 


You do get over it. I guess I just weigh up the good with the bad, and staying single just comes out on top every time.

All I can suggest if you are keen on this woman, and she is available, is be aloof. Act like you don't care. They seem to come running every time I do that.


I've noticed this behaviour in woman I've dated as well. What's up with that? I prefer to be honest and upfront with the one I care about so when I've done this tactic, it always felt weird and wrong. But it always worked.

Is there a woman on this thread that can posit a response as to why this works?


I am a woman, and I have no idea why the women you know respond better to jerks. I, myself, have always preferred that a man let me know if he was interested in me. Now, I have had stalker-type men harass me -- and that is pretty creepy, so there is a boundary that one shouldn't cross. By stalker, I mean someone who calls you 3-4 times a day, shows up at your workplace multiple times a week (uninvited), follows you around everywhere, etc.

Again, I think you guys may be hitting up the wrong women. There's got to be some decent girls out there who aren't into total game-playing. Maybe they aren't drop-dead gorgeous, so they don't interest you?? I don't know, but when I was single, I had many single girlfriends. Some of those girls WERE into playing games and trying to find the guy with the most money, but there were also girls that weren't into that at all. I know they exist... because I was one of them.


Thanks for the reply. When one of my relationships gets, um, stale or maybe stagnant is a better word or maybe it's the one sided conversations...I don't know, I will become standoffish myself and start to ignore her. If she won't tell me what is bothering her, than so be it. I don't like being this way, but as they say, situation dictates.

Not all of my former girlfriends have come running back, but most have and it only lasts for a short period of time.

I have came to the conclusion ten years ago that I don't want a needy woman. I just want one that wants me back. Pretty simple, eh?


I'll assume that simple comment was sarcasm or else you're implying that you intend to enact some gross injustice to any woman you date and won't know you love her until she accepts you for your intentional aloof demeanor?



posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 08:45 PM
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Originally posted by corvuscorrax


I'll assume that simple comment was sarcasm or else you're implying that you intend to enact some gross injustice to any woman you date and won't know you love her until she accepts you for your intentional aloof demeanor?


Nothing in a relationship is simple, though I truly wish it was. I am not normally an aloof guy, but rather open and honest. But when the silent treatment starts and continues, despite me trying to find out what is wrong or maybe what I did wrong, at some point I reciprocate the behavior being directed towards me.

It is usually at this point that I have had enough of this type of manipulation and end up breaking up.

To be truthful, this has only happened twice so I cannot claim to much experience with it. But in my opinion, twice was twice to many times.

All my other relationships ended due to the fact that I was career military and they did not want to be a Army wife…not that I blame them. Not much stability there, except for what the family creates.

I know when a girl wants me, mainly because she accepts me for who I am and doesn't try to change me into her idea of the ideal man. I am far from ideal, and kinda like it that way.

As the songs says, "I GOTTA BE ME!"



posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 09:20 PM
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reply to post by 74Templar
 


During my 16 year marriage my wife found something to argue about EVERY DAY! Divorced over 20 years, and I've had a total of three arguments. I would be insane to want that again.



posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 10:10 PM
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Originally posted by zonetripper2065
reply to post by 74Templar
 


I think you might be imagining this. I don't know anybody who goes around judging people for being sinlge I mean besides the little girls back in 6th grade
Stop being Paranoid


It's not about being judged for being single, and certainly not paranoia...


It's the stigma that goes with being single and also being a single dad. That somehow everyone seems to want to "fix" you somehow. What this thread has shown is that a decision to be single is not something innormal, just a choice people make.

But I did have a woman smile at me this morning though....


*Looks over shoulder....*



posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 10:17 PM
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reply to post by corvuscorrax
 


More of an observation than a fact. I have to say that mindset is not something I condone nor want to be like.

I have had female friends tell me the good guy (or doormat) is not the guy they want, and that sometimes even they go for the bad boy that acts that way. And that's coming from them, not me.



posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 10:21 PM
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reply to post by jiggerj
 


I was better friends with my first ex after we split, and I have friends who are the same after their breakup. I guess it's the no pressure thing once a relationship is over. Kinda like not having to be what your partner thinks you should be, or compromise who you are anymore. It was like that for me anyway.



posted on Jul, 8 2012 @ 11:05 PM
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I'm still single and living here with my dad, and I'm 25. It does get "lonely" and can't share any of that romance with that special someone. But when I do end up being with a girl. I just don't feel as happy as I should be when I'm single. I feel that I'm tied down. Got the ball and chain on my ankles feeling that I can't get away and not having the freedom as I was being single. So I end up in both miseries of where I'm not feeling satisfied. I'm not into casual hook ups either. Maybe I should get a loving dog as my companion and friend. That my dog could also sleep with me to make me feel not as lonely. Yet I won't feel tied down or having to deal with any stresses. I think I just solved my own issue here!!!!!
haha lol



posted on Jul, 9 2012 @ 02:54 AM
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reply to post by 74Templar
 


Very well said! Not so long ago I was standing in your shoes.. It wasn't until I was nearly 28 when I met the woman I am now happily married to. I nearly married my daughters mother which would have been a terrible mistake, it wasn't until I gave up when I finally found everything I had wanted. It is my and only *my* opinion that you are doing the normal thing and exactly what you should be doing.

Dating, meeting hookups, etc.. isn't necessarily bad, but the time has to be right for you and whoever you may or may not end up with.

Don't let anyone tell you it's not normal.

Peace.



posted on Jul, 9 2012 @ 03:12 AM
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It's kinda like when one of your gf's friend's breaks up with her bf or gets dumped and then she's wanting to go all wild and can't with her friends bc they're all paired up so she starts trying to break them up. Except the opposite.



posted on Jul, 9 2012 @ 03:16 AM
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I’m quite happy being single ...Does anyone else share this lack of need to be partnered up?


Yes.


Single by choice is often a choice most people don't have the strength to make.

I firmly believe this.

I'm not against having relationships, but I don't feel the need to have one just because it's expected or "normal". Normal for me, is being happy & whole within myself. Not normal for me, is settling for being content with someone else.

And looking at the majority of relationships out there, it appears that "normal" is highly over-rated.
edit on 9-7-2012 by AtlasShrugging because: clarification



posted on Jul, 9 2012 @ 03:20 AM
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Relationships have their positives and negatives, just like being single. It's whatever makes you feel happy and fulfilled. If that means living the single life then so be it, don't worry what other people think. I am single as well and quite enjoy the freedom it brings. If people get on your back about being single (friends/family) just let them know that you are happy being single and will pursue a relationship at a later time if you feel the need.





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