So,I have my daughters phone now,the fun begins

reply to post by kdog1982


Luckily I raised my kids pre-cellphone era. But I did tell them I would respect their privacy as long as they were aware I would step in if I felt it best for them.

My mom used to listen in to my phone calls and then criticize me for it. She also read my diaries and went through my purse and pockets. I never once gave her any reason to, but she did anyway. Once I got to adulthood I left. We have not spoken in 20 years.

reply to post by kdog1982


So, I have a question.

Why is it the parents always worry about the daughters getting a bad boyfriend, but they never worry about their sons getting a bad girlfriend?

I smell sexism.

Also, I have seen shows and listened to radio programs like this sort of thing. The hosts pretty much said, "You're a # good mom, but knock the # off before SHE has a reason to distrust YOU."

Worst relationship you can have with a child, really.

reply to post by 1littlewolf


You have a very valid point.
I guess i never really thought about that.
He did say he contacted the police, so we may find that out.

Originally posted by Benevolent Heretic

Originally posted by Hawking

Originally posted by kdog1982
F$$k you all and I will parent my child as I see fit.

Then why did you ask for our input?

because he expected ATS to stroke his ego and tell him how badass he was ? - just a guess

Reading all the posts and still trying to figure out why a 13-year-old girl NEEDS an iPhone. Just about every post in this thread accepts that the girl has a phone and it's no big deal.

I didn't have a cell phone at 13. They didn't exist. I lived. I don't care what kind of peer pressure kids bring, no 13 year old kid of mine is getting a cell phone to use however they wish, just to debate her "privacy" on ATS.

Ridiculous.

reply to post by katfish


The only times that I ever listened in to my daughters'
phone calls is when something being said was upsetting
her.I listened in twice,once a girl was threatening to have
her beat up,the second time I heard this guy tell her he was
going to rape her.
Trust me,I butted in and told the guy's parents what I heard
him say to my daughter.His father took care of the problem
on his end.
The other girl's brother would never let me talk to their parents.
My daughter and I were refered to as that trash that lives across
town.
When my daughter was a teen,I was the one who had a diary.
Yes,she found it and read it with her friends.I found them giggling
in my room with my diary in their hands.I never kept another diary
since.She was sooo grounded for snooping in my room.

Originally posted by katfish
reply to post by kdog1982

 

Luckily I raised my kids pre-cellphone era. But I did tell them I would respect their privacy as long as they were aware I would step in if I felt it best for them.

My mom used to listen in to my phone calls and then criticize me for it. She also read my diaries and went through my purse and pockets. I never once gave her any reason to, but she did anyway. Once I got to adulthood I left. We have not spoken in 20 years.

You havn't spoken to your Mom in 20 years??? Was it because of the privacy issue? I'm sure your Mom loved you and only wanted to keep you safe. This is so sad.

Yeah, actually, I think I will bag this point.

When did we start getting worried about older men texting younger girls? Once again: how many of us would complain if an older woman was texting our 13 year old boy?

It's ridiculous, the amount of paranoia. And then we have the parent taking their power as ruler of the houshold and deeming it fitting to paw through the history on their child's phone. Not content to halt their invasions there, they proceed to interact with and study every person their child associates with.

So, if we were to spy on daddy to make sure he wasn't taking the college funds to the bar with him, he wouldn't be upset, right? Or maybe if we checked mom's credit card to see how much splurging she does at the shoe store?

There's suspicious, and there's ridiculous. How much do you trust your daughter?

reply to post by sonnny1

Originally posted by sonnny1

Originally posted by Astyanax
You have been reading the private messages of teenage girls who are not your daughter. Do you realize how creepy that is? You may justify it all you like as parental discipline, but that doesn't really explain why you chose that particular style of 'discipline' – why you chose to violate your daughters' friends' rights.

They are NOT private messages. Unless you want to show me the legality of it,when it comes to MY household,my devices,my internet.........Its only creepy if I were to be texting them back,at least in my book.

Why wont you answer the questions I lie before you?????

Bet you Eric Harris and Dylan Klebolds parents would have wished THEY snooped a bit more,hey ????

I bet you the Parents of the dead children these kids killed,would agree.......

You didnt answer it it the last time,and obviously this exact scenario, throw holes in your argument.Because Parents DIDNT see the signs,and DIDNT check their children's belongings......Tell me otherwise?

You being the "MORAL" police doesn't change the fact,that as long as my children are under my roof,I will do what I can to protect them.

From drug talk,to sexting,things I believe a 13 year old has no reason to chat about,especially to someone she may "believe" to be her friend. Ironic,hey ? Because texting is random,and NOT personal. You dont know who is on the other end,and that's a fact. Unless you want to tell me otherwise.......

cause for all I know,you might be my kid,right???????????

You really think so? You honestly think that even if they had found guns etc in their kid’s rooms that they couldn’t and wouldn’t have gone ahead with the massacre any way?

What Kdog has done is make sure that his daughter’s actions will be much better hidden from now on. What he has done is thrown up a wall which may well stop his daughter coming to him when she has real problems.

I bet Harris and Dylan Klebold’s parents wish their kids had come to them with their issues instead of taking so many innocent lives.

Man, if I were you I'd text some of those boys and say you want to have sex with them. Have them meet you at a secluded place and then beat them for ever trying to get with your daughter

reply to post by timi0000


that is entrapment

Originally posted by Starchild23
Yeah, actually, I think I will bag this point.

When did we start getting worried about older men texting younger girls? Once again: how many of us would complain if an older woman was texting our 13 year old boy?

It's ridiculous, the amount of paranoia. And then we have the parent taking their power as ruler of the houshold and deeming it fitting to paw through the history on their child's phone. Not content to halt their invasions there, they proceed to interact with and study every person their child associates with.

So, if we were to spy on daddy to make sure he wasn't taking the college funds to the bar with him, he wouldn't be upset, right? Or maybe if we checked mom's credit card to see how much splurging she does at the shoe store?

There's suspicious, and there's ridiculous. How much do you trust your daughter?

It's almost like self fulfilling prophecy ain't it? Parents hard on the kids because they wanna "protect" them, kids feel resentment an put themselves in a position where they could be exploited because they lost confidence in the parents...

reply to post by ignorant_ape


Yes it is and only the law is allowed to act that way.
anyone else doing the same thing could end up in
jail.

Originally posted by LightSpeedDriver
reply to post by kdog1982

 

You are giving them your Uncle Buck Axe Collection routine?

HAHAHAHA! i forgot all about that.

reply to post by sonnny1

Bet you Eric Harris and Dylan Klebolds parents would have wished THEY snooped a bit more,hey ????

According to early accounts of the shooting, Harris and Klebold were very unpopular students and frequent targets of bullying at their high school.[6

Well, I hope the kids weren't bullied for having overbearing, weird parents.

Tom and Sue Klebold had strickt limits on how much money they spent on their kids. "These kids were not spoiled", friend Judy Brown said. "Tom and Sue wanted them to know the value of money and work."

*

Sometimes the values people try to instill in their kids are not the values that are actually being instilled. Actions of course are louder than words. Too many parents say they are doing one thing, and their actions are saying something else. Kids aren't stupid.

I know...

I was one..

reply to post by boncho


I trust my daughter,it was all those teenaged boys that
I didn't trust.I remember being a teenager and I really made
it a point to watch my teen as a hawk.I was doing things at
her age I would have seriously grounded her for if she did them.

Boncho,do you have any teen kids?

if i had a daughter i would be afraid to check my daughters phone, especially as a young guy i know what some of these girls send out. Not to say your daughter would do anything inappropriate but just saying kids these days are trying to mature way faster than they should. I like the idea of messing with the boys lol..that will definitely make them think twice about what they decide to ask your daughter via text. Parents have to figure out a way to adapt to the new technology being introduced to their children.

Originally posted by mamabeth
reply to post by boncho

 

I trust my daughter,it was all those teenaged boys that
I didn't trust.I remember being a teenager and I really made
it a point to watch my teen as a hawk.I was doing things at
her age I would have seriously grounded her for if she did them.

Boncho,do you have any teen kids?

I helped raise an ex gf's kids. (mentioned in a previous post). We were quite confident in how she handled boys. Most were scared of her.

Am I out of line or being a protective carrying parent.

Out of line. It's one thing to invade her privacy (some of that comes with the territory of being a parent), but you took it a step further when you interacted with her friends, and damaged her rep.

Especially in the teen years....do you know how many teens commit suicide over things we see as trivial?

The correct (and mature) thing to do would have been to sure, check out the phone for anything too inappropriate, but then not speak about what you found, and had a talk with your daughter about use of the phone, and your expectations, etc. Something that should have happened BEFORE getting her the phone.

Personally, I'd be pretty loathe to give a barely teen something that costs hundreds of dollars that they'll easily lose, but that's just me.

reply to post by ThirdRock69


Not always true. I had strict parents and that made me 100 times more rebellious. In contrast my sisters who grew up with my birth Dad who is really liberal are the most adult 17 and 18 year olds I have ever met. Every person is different as well though. My brother was raised in the same house as me and he's my polar opposite.