So,I have my daughters phone now,the fun begins

reply to post by sonnny1

So when is looking at my kids iPhone, and checking through their text messages, a sin?

You have been reading the private messages of teenage girls who are not your daughter. Do you realize how creepy that is? You may justify it all you like as parental discipline, but that doesn't really explain why you chose that particular style of 'discipline' – why you chose to violate your daughters' friends' rights.

You wanted to read what those kids were saying. You even boasted in your first post about how much you enjoyed it.

I WILL DO WHAT I WANT,WHEN I WANT,TO MY KIDS PHONE. Period.

I am probably older than you are, so throwing tantrums will get you nowhere. Do you really think I care what you do? I just feel sorry for your children. Apart from the affront to their privacy and their dignity, you have set them a rotten moral example.

Doesn't that rile your panties in a bunch?

Kindly keep your hands – even your metaphorical ones – off my underwear. Snooping on children's text messages is bad enough, don't you think?

Originally posted by boncho

Originally posted by kdog1982
reply to post by boncho

 

Oh,but we did talk to her about this,and she knows I have her phone and I told her that her phone is mine and that I will chat with who ever pops on there to find out who they are.
She had fair warning for two weeks to let her friends know.
So,when some dude named gerrome starts chatting with me to night,I thought I would play along for a couple of messages before I told him who I was.

Turns out to be some 30 year old Cuban..
Yea,that's right,
I tracked down his phone number.
I notified the police.
There you go.

I'm not sure why you wouldn't outline that in your OP then. How did you find out he was a 30 year old Cuban?

Yea?

And maybe this 30 year old Cuban has a son and pays for his cell phone bill just like you do your daughters?

JUS SAYIN DONT FLIP A FREAKY DEAKY

I

When I grew up, no one had cellphones. If you wanted to call someone, you used the house phone. People actually dialed the numbers (from memory!) and if someone else in the house needed to make a call, or was anticipating one, I had to end my conversation.

I think ALL children should wait until they at least have a job before they have a cellphone. It's not a right, it's a privilege. Kids today are so spoiled and bombarded with phone ads, so they throw a fit if they don't have the newest model. The parenting (or rather lack thereof) of America these days just sickens me.

reply to post by Astyanax


love it!

Your post was what i was more in line with, but i decided to be a bit nicer. Only cause he is the father.

But yes, creepy is the word that comes to mind.

I think what your are doing is wrong, lets hope she doesn't get bullied or decide to commit suicide.

HAHA, she is probably hella pissed off at you right now, but , she will look back on it and laugh.

I think its kinda creepy. Especially if she is 15+.

I can see taking her phone away.

But talking to boys with her phone? Reading her texts? A little bit much.

So you got your jollies imitating your 13 year old daughter conversing with (probably) 13,14 year old boys.
What if at the same time the young boys fathers were also imitating their sons? (also getting a buzz!!)
That could mean several adult men imitating young kids and deriving some (albeit small) pleasure from it!!!

Even if only for a short time, wouldn't you have become the very thing you seem unaquiped (lacking maturity) to prevent????????

Its not what you do but the manner in which you do it, and you FAIL,

Quick question, What did you think of the video of that father whipping his daughter with his belt, it was on here just a short time ago??? Acceptable or extreme?

WAIT A MINUTE.

I just read you were a GUY? lol

I thought you were her mom.

So you pretended to be your daughter to little boys???????

Now thats just really creepy. Stop reading your daughters texts to boys.........

And I'm pretty sure no one buys the 30 year old Cuban story. You just wanted to make it look like you were in the right all along after you saw the negative feedback in this thread towards you.

reply to post by kdog1982


If you're a good father, and you know you are a good father, then why do you mistrust your daughter?

Communication is key you know. Once she realises that not even her phone is private, she'll begin to despise you AND hide things from you.

Originally posted by Astyanax
You have done a creepy, cruel and disgusting thing. Your daughter will remember it for ever. You have probably earned her undying hatred.

I have to agree with this comment. My Mum read my diary when I was about the same age, and I am now forty and still won't trust her to be left in my home unsupervised. Taking the phone off her is one thing, reading her private correspondence is another. Plus you should be careful that none of her friends make a complaint against you for pretending to be a thirteen year old, that can be very, very easily miscontrued by another parent and you may find yourself with a highly unpleasant label.

Originally posted by Biliverdin

Originally posted by Astyanax
You have done a creepy, cruel and disgusting thing. Your daughter will remember it for ever. You have probably earned her undying hatred.

I have to agree with this comment. My Mum read my diary when I was about the same age, and I am now forty and still won't trust her to be left in my home unsupervised. Taking the phone off her is one thing, reading her private correspondence is another. Plus you should be careful that none of her friends make a complaint against you for pretending to be a thirteen year old, that can be very, very easily miscontrued by another parent and you may find yourself with a highly unpleasant label.

Spot on which could in turn also lead to her being bullied at school (your dads a nonce etc etc)

Originally posted by kdog1982
You have heard of the father her and his daughter and her Facebook rant,right?
He posts a vid on YouTube and shoots up her laptop.

Well,I went through a similar situation with my daughter and her iPhone.

But I did not shoot it up,I kept it..

So now I get these messages from boys,I play with them awhile,then I reveal myself to them
I tell them that I know who they are,and I'm keeping an eye on them.

I could go go further with it,but just letting them know that I know about them is enough.

Back in the day,a shotgun was the warning,but I won't go that far.


Am I out of line or being a protective carrying parent.

What are your thoughts.

Your are definitely out of line!

Think about the things you could do with your daughter, instead of spending your time getting revenge.

If you spend that time, raising your daughter, loving your daughter, maybe she wouldnt be that way. Use love, not hate, else you will end up with a daughter that hates you even more! She needs the same attention and love, that you ask of her. Ever heard the expression "you are what you eat" ? think about that for a moment, spread hate, and you get hate, spread love, and you get love

Hopes everything works out just fine between you and your daughter

OP you are really really sick. Your behaviour is sick, your destroying of your daugters privacy is sick, your arguments are sick.

So you say because she got something from you then you have absolute right to interfere her privacy. So ... if you get ANYTHING from your goverment (at least candy during elections) then goverment has absolute right to spy in your privacy.

She is 13. She is not small child. In roman times (and they were in lot things more advanced than we are) she was able to mary. Boys in her age could already start their own family. BUT she is in the most vulnerable age and she needs your trust.

There is much more things you have to provide, not only food, water, shelter, an education and as safe place to live. You have to provide social, cultural and psychological grow. She is human, not some animal you can keep in cage with book (yes, this option has all you said).

You evidently dont understand law. I am not american, so I guess your law will be different, but basic principles are (always) same. If you GAVE it to her (it doesnt matter in which occasion), its HER, not yours. The ownership was transfered! If it was only borrowed, you had to explicit set term about this (at least orally), because if it looked like gift for her and/or for any third person, you cant call it "borrow" and take it back.

There is much more problem with law because you are violating her privacy connected with personal messages. It doesnt matter what is the medium used for transfer (even it would be your personal phone), but as I said I am not from USA, so I dont know your jurisprudence. And dont forget there is contract between facebook and her, not you.

If you dont have enough money for iPhone why do you buy one for her? There are cheaper solutions. If she has large bills, get her account where she cant exceed some limit.

Why the hell are you speaking as your daugher with her teenage friends? And why do you show off with this here on public? Does it excite you to have pervert conversation with teen boys? I think you should speak with psychologist or some expert in sexual treatment lab. You look like (I dont want to say you are) pervert. You could have even some suppressed pedophile desires.

Man ... you failed your parenting. I am sorry for your daughter.

reply to post by kdog1982


Back in 1968 I was 13 years old.I was playing a record on
my record player from the musical Hair.My dad walked by
my room and heard a word on the record that he didn't like.
He walked into my room,removed all the other albums off
the player and broke the record I was listening to.

Years later when my own child was in her teens.I heard her
on the phone with someone and she was obviously upset.I
got on the other phone and started listening to the conversation.
The girl on the phone was threatening my daughter and I butted
in.I had the number changed to an unlisted one after that.

Here's what you need to do:
Flirt with them a bit, then when things start getting hot, ask them if they want some sexy pictures. Then, dress yourself up and put some makeup on, and send them the shocker of their life. (legally, of course)
At least it'll teach them to beware of who they're really talking to

reply to post by Astyanax


I have to ask this...Are you a parent?
I have been a parent for 37 years.When I was a child I swore
I would NEVER be like my parent's.Guess what happened?
I sounded just like my parents when I was dealing with my
own teenaged daughter.
I was not her friend and buddy old pal...I was her mom and I
had house rules that had to be obeyed.

Maybe ATS needs a response filter.

On this one, only respondents with teenage kids need reply. I love the no-kid-having-but-tell-me-how crowd.

She is your daughter. You and her live the context of the incident. No one else on here does. As such, I will end my input.

My mother read my diary when I was 14.....Many years later, I still do not trust her.....That was the defining moment where we no longer had a good relationship.

As far as the cell phone.....you are the parent and must take responsibility for your actions as well...

hey kdog. Been reading through the thread... not the whole thing but a few pages.

I think you're getting a hard time here, I'd guess mostly from either people who don't have kids, or those with young kids and no idea.

i have an 11 year old, she recently miss behaved so I confiscated her phone, her nintendo ds and banned her from the ipad and lap top for a week. taking away privileges is a fantastic way of punishing children!

I have not been through her phone but do monitor her messaging with friends on line as i see this as a possible in for danger (I only check that she is messaging with real friends, and she doesnt know im doing it, I see it as just keeping her safe). I will probably monitor more in the future as she grows up and goes through those horrible teen years but only if it sits right at the time

After I took the stuff from my daughter I sat down with her once she had calmed down and we talked about what had just happened, by the end of the chat she understood. After a few days she was glad I did it and said she had re discovered a whole bunch of stuff she used to do before the ds/phone /ipad. It's funny because they are not allowed more than 30 mins screen time a day in my house but it still made a real difference to her. (sry off topic)

Only you know what will or wont work with YOUR child. do what you have to to protect her but try not to overstep the mark.