reply to post by ICEKOHLD
Thanks for sharing brother, that was totally authentic and genuine. You too are a good guy with tons to offer.
Interesting what you said about kids looking at you. I have a story about that you might find amuzing.
Because of the weight of the pressures of trying to live an inauthentic life in accordance with expectations I could not and had no intentions of
living up to, including my OWN, I once had a "spiritual crackup" or what some people call a nervous breakdown. It lasted only for about three weeks
to a month, and then lifted.
During her dying process my mother once told me that she was really proud of me, and that what happened to me a few years prior, was not in her
opinion (a trained mental health professional) the result of any sort of mental illness but was instead a legitamet spiritual experience, and she said
it helped increase her faith of all things.
Anyway, knowing I'd kind of gone off the deepend so to speak, I voluntarily went to see my family doctor with the aim of being admitted to the
hospital, and after a rather strange interview with the doctor, my mother present, an appointment was made with the admitting psychiatrist for the
next day. That night I dreamt of the man I was to meet in the mornbing, except he was an african Shaman, and lo and behold when I saw him for the
first time the next morning, it was the same guy from my dream (same face), but what was really freaky about the whole experience, is when I was in
his waiting room. Sitting across from me was a little kid, a boy, sitting beside his father, and he took one look at me, his eyes widened, and then he
whispered to his dad "it's HIM"! (That's when I figured I'd totally lost it!)
Anyway, I made it through all that and I'm still here, good as new.
All these things are like gifts, if we could but have the courage to unwrap them and try to discern what they've been telling us, and what they mean
and ask of us. It's very valuable, the self examined life - Socrates was right.