Originally posted by applebaum
I am an atheist.
...me too... gosh, small world sometimes, huh?...
Originally posted by applebaum
However, I sincerely hope that life goes on after this one and that we have a purpose for existing.
...its all a matter of perspective, imo... i've been down lots of roads that i would love to repeat but i dont believe thats possible... it could be
- no one knows for sure...
...as for a purpose for existing, its whatever you make it... my purpose is multi-faceted... giving birth to my babies and raising them to be good
responsible independent adults is one... being my SO's safe place to fall until the day he died is another... telling my grandchildren the old
stories that were passed down to me is another... being my mom's caregiver and witness to her last days is another... i'll shut up now, lol...
Originally posted by applebaum
Various family problems and some hard life complications in my youth, cause me to long for a chance to do it all over again. I long to meet those that
have passed, heal issues and reach new heights together.
...i can identify except my complications werent limited to just my youth... one of the key people who kept me grounded was my paternal grandfather...
gosh, i really miss him... anyways, when i'd get the mully-grubs cuz of bad things that had happened to me, he'd remind me that i am who i am in
spite of those things, not because of those things... its one of those mindsets you have to grow into, at least i did cuz my learning curve is often
kinda wavy (in a tsunami sense), lol...
Originally posted by applebaum
Do you believe in life after death? Can you tell me why?
...as long as i have living descendants, a part of me continues to live after my death... thats the only thing i know for sure about that...
...i have opinions about reincarnation, all with the caveat of "if its possible" - like - humans dont come back as another critter or a something
else not human... i also dont believe in the ascension stuff cuz that implies that this life is just a test and/or a re-do cuz you screwed it up so
bad the last time around...
Originally posted by applebaum
I guess I am a little down tonight and wish there was more to life than just the here and now. Currently, the here and now is not a happy place for
me.
...i have those nights too and sometimes it feels like i've had WAY more than my fair share... here, i'll share a tidbit or two - then (if you want)
you can share whats bumming you out... sometimes just talking about it lessens the sting a little...
...mom has alzheimers and its very hard to watch someone you love disappear... there are nights when she wanders around the house totally lost -
banging on paintings or mirrors or the vertical blinds as if she's trying to find a door... when she's like that, she's often violent if disturbed
by "hey, mom, what ya doin?", no matter how softly or sweetly i say it...
...i complained to her neurologist (whom i adore) that she's got enough drugs in her to knock out a horse and i didnt understand how she could walk,
much less get physically violent... he likes to help me come to my own conclusions via taking me around the world to get to the next block, which irks
me when i'm sleep deprived, lol - but - with his help, i finally reasoned that her psychosis was stronger than the drugs meant to keep her calm
and/or asleep... helluva thang, huh?...
...over the past two years, i've lost track of how many times i've spent the night dozing in one of the recliners in the living room cuz i couldnt
go to bed and go to sleep with her up - afraid she'll hurt herself or try to cook and set the house on fire... a few weeks ago, she tried to stab our
dog and he bit her, which upset him cuz he adores her and thinks its his job to protect her...
...this past saturday was her birthday and my siblings sent flowers and stuff... as i opened the gifts, i told her over and over - this is for you -
its your birthday... there was no recognition - just that void of light shark eye thang... i cried about it a little cuz thats a good tension reliever
(for me), then came on ats and good luck struck when someone came along i could cut up with...
...so, now, its your turn, if you wanna...